I find myself choosing sadness. It isn’t because I enjoy being miserable, but because it feels like the only emotion that still belongs to me.Everything else feels borrowed. Happiness, excitement, even love, they all seem like they are on loan from the world. But sadness… it is mine. It comes from somewhere deep. Somewhere honest.Have you ever felt like this? How can I remove this mask that I have
>>34725939I know the feeling well, the solution is to accept that sadness isn't honest. Feeling sorry for yourself is an inherently self-contradictory state to be in. It's like saying you're proud of your humility. You're deriving pleasure and consolation from your perceived depression, making it masturbatory and self-indulgent rather than something you truly deserve anyone's pity for. You should never be looking for honesty in any passion, because passions are the opposite of impartiality, and impartiality is what leads you to truth, and thus to honesty. If you want something "real", start treating people well without expectation. Do what's right and good because it's right and good, with no hope for reward, reciprocation or acknowledgement. That's what it means to be truly alive and living in the light of truth. Moving past self-centered passions for the sake of living in selfless principle is the only place integrity can be found.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=yWkq7btSQvs
>>34725939i guess we are all around the same page.may I ask what ur life story is?
>>34726465To be honest, my life story is pretty normal.Born and raised in small town, loving parents, spent summers playing with my cousinsThings took a turn when my grandma died. From that point on, I didn't see much of my family anymoreMoved to a city in order to study, graduated and then found a job in another cityIt is an okay life, but I feel that I need to pretend to have feelings or emotions in order to get by and not come across as a bland person. My relationships have been pretty superficial. I didn’t feel like I opened, and on an intimite level, they had to force things out of me
only because i got recently diagnosed but try looking into dysthymia. i get that it's something that feels like it belong to you, but so does being happy.
>>34725939You have to get mad before you can find happiness, anon. Anger is the ladder up out of sadness. It is a stupid horse who chooses to drown instead of climb out of the swamp "because happiness is on loan from the world.">How can I remove this mask that I haveWith an outcry of total disgust in your father's voice before you piss on it. From your own phrasing, you know you are making the wrong choices. Start making the right ones and stop being a mopey navel-gazing dickhead.
>>34725939Humans evolved too smart, just focus on the present moment and be happy
>>34726652thanks for sharing your story.due to recent events, i just want to accept things are always going to feel this way,and stop bothering with anything.i'd rather turn the whole universe against me than be its bitch.
>>34727004>>34727049>>34727013Thank you, I'm really grateful for reading all of your responses.Maybe, I have spent too much time considering my own thoughts or problems.What you’ve said truly opened my eyes, at some point of my life I decided to become passive, always drowning in this emotionally masturbatory self-pity action rather than something that truly deserved anyone's pity forYour words are right, I should stop thinking too deeply and just focus on the present.
>>34725939>Everything else feels borrowedDamn that resonates with me. Like a lot. Being okay with being sad feels "safe". If I allow myself to have any hope or expect good things I end up more sad than if I never tried at all. No one can take sadness or anger away from me.
>>34728356>rather than something that truly deserved anyone's pity forim no stranger to crawling out of holes but im sure not going to pass up adding another gem of a mantra to my toolbox. you probably dont realize how good that line just was
