Every single time I full stop cease using social media that I tend to doomscroll on I feel my mental clarity, focus, immersion in tasks, and anticipation for doing things all see tangible benefitsI feel better and am happierBut I always find myself coming back eventually be it in a week or a monthI try to be conscious of what I am actually experiencing when I just mindlessly scroll or masturbate for hours - how it isn't actual pleasure from the thing Im doing, but the "chase for more" if that makes sense - it's filler, it's nothingness, I forget it happened as soon as I stopBut I CANNOT stop going into these literal trances where I am practically unconsciously doing shit I have no care in the world about for hours at a time, while things that actually feel fulfilling I never doI dont get itI know I should just stop and try and form better habits, but once the motivation stops no habit ever forms, nothing ever sticks, and I just keep fucking wasting my life away and going to work, wasting time, working, doing nothing, forgetting the day even occurred, and then going to sleep to repeat again tomorrow
And let me addWhenever I form some sort of rules or guidelines, they feel really great to useI can see their effectiveness in actual day by dayBut then I will incessantly repeat them to myself over and over, literally talking to myself about it when i drive or am in the shower, as if i need to reassure and re convince myself that what i am doing is right every day until eventually i just stop doing them
Therein lyes the workIf you could rewire that , towards positive ambitions , you could become something But Youre on the level of micro managing dopamine for doomscrolling/fapping and trying NOT to do something Try to proagtively do something . Maybe that will helpIdk , Im not saying get what you’re going through n done it, but I’ve done a lot , soYoure not going to find the answer outside of yourself Sit with the silent stillnessCyaPs actually do that internal command thing a lot . Telling myself prompts . It must be a personality trait . But nonetheless , overtime it becomes a system you can utilize
