My sister and I have been together for many years. We were each other's firsts, and we've never been with anyone else. I'm now 34 and she's 36. It took me quite a while to realize that our sex life isn't "normal" in the sense that she's completely passive and doesn't look at me during sex. She's NOT disassociating and she enjoys herself immensely, but due to shame she never wanted to look at me during sex. She's affectionate before sex, during foreplay, and after sex, but while it's happening she just lays there passively with her head turned to the side and doesn't look at me. Honestly it doesn't bother me at all, in fact, I prefer it, not because I don't want to connect with my sister during sex, but because that's the kind of sex I've always had with her. It's what I'm used to. The problem I have is this. My sister is no longer ashamed of being with me and hasn't been ashamed for many years, but whenever she tries to connect with me during sex like a normal partner, it distracts me and I don't like it. She knows this, so she usually just remains passive the way I like. The problem is, she wants to start connecting more during sex. How do you connect to your partner during sex without getting distracted or having it interrupt the experience? I never learned this. I thank her afterwards, we spend time together afterwards while I'm still inside her, etc. We're very close and intimate afterwards and we both love this, but if she tries to connect with me during sex, it goes one of two ways. Either it distracts me and makes it difficult for me to finish, or it overwhelms me and makes me finish prematurely. I've basically learned to approach sex like this: be affectionate > engage in foreplay > have sex > then thank her/enjoy the post-coital closeness and intimacy with her.
>>34727262Cont.I think another aspect to this is that her remaining passive and simply "allowing" me to fuck her is a massive turn-on for me. I think that's because of the taboo nature of our relationship. She was my cool older sister who I looked up to. She could have had someone her own age. She could have had anyone. But instead she was letting her little brother fuck her. At the time I was too young and horny to realize that the reason she stayed passive and wouldn’t look at me during sex was out of shame, but this is why being “allowed” has always been such a huge turn-on for me. I had been desperate for sex, as all young guys are, and she was willing to give it to me when no one else would, even though I was younger and wasn't as cool as she was. Even though she was my sister, she was still a girl. A cool older girl who had a vagina and was willing to let me fuck her. To a young, horny guy, that's all that matters. She was giving me an opportunity to finally feel what a real vagina felt like. There was no way I could pass that up. Our mom had already put her on birth control, thinking she'd get a boyfriend soon, so I was lucky enough to be able to enjoy her vagina without a condom. She had no idea that my sister would never get a boyfriend, or that I'd be the one having sex with her, but I'm really glad we didn't have to worry about pregnancy or mess with condoms. I guess my sexuality has been shaped in a way that being allowed is what I find hot rather than mutual desire, because she's always remained passive/avoided eye contact out of shame. I know how that sounds, but she really does enjoy being with me and always has. Her shame came not from the act itself, but from her allowing it and enjoying it so much. Her hang up in the beginning was shame, and my hang up is that I never learned to find mutual enjoyment/desire hot during sex because that has never been a part of the sex itself, only something I associate with before and after sex.
Please take this bullshit to /b/ where it belongs.
