I really hate myself, I've been trying to ignore it and cope with it but I just can't stand myself anymore, not even with make up, not even when I feel pretty, when I was starving myself I still felt nothing but repulsión for my own body, I will never be intimate with a man, my private parts are so gross, I used to shave my entire body just in case if I ever got raped the perpetrator wouldn't feel gross about my body, I just dont like anything about me, I dont understand what some boys saw in me, I can't even take pictures anymore, I've stoped shaving, I've stopped dieting, I dont do exercise, I dont study, I rott in bed all day and im barely awake all day, I've been feeling like this since im 9 and now im 18 and I just pray every night for me to wake up as another person, a pretty one with great personality, is 6am and I feel like giving up the day just started and for me it feels like im just so tired. I really want to do things, sometimes I wake up motivated but I never change, even the days I feel like im half cute I feel like I could do better, I dont even know how to describe what I am feeling right now, Ig im just sad and I want to get better, I want to say that I hate myself more than anyone but im highly aware that im very privilege and there's other people in the world that has it harder than me, people who actually deserve to be sad, still I wish to change I just dont have any energy, what can I actually do to change? I try everything but I get distracted easily and recently I feel like my brain has been dying constantly, today I'm going to the gym I used to feel better when I went but I haven't been able to go because I dont have a license, im isolated I live in a town an hour away from the city and I only have one friend that I barely hang out with, it just feels like im a weirdo around her, im scared of goingout idk why I've always felt anxious and aware of everything I dont even chew when im around people im scared i might make them notice me
>>34728846ME TOOOOO
>>34728846I understand that when you're seeing yourself you know every single flaw but surely you can't be as bad as you feel. Good on you for going out and working on it though that must have taken a lot
