>>34729607
1) you chose Chad, sorry to hear
2) everyone talks about trending stuff to have common topics of conversation

Of course, I expect people to speak about trending things and theres no issue within that, i mean mostly when trying to speak about any other topic their brains go entirely limp or they no longer engage i shouldve clarified

You are lucky to have him. Stop talking about the past if it's bothering you so much. But you should be able to be secure about his past which you had no control over. What you are building is a future with him, and his past made him who he is. Create a great present moment for him as a foundation, and your future will be bright.

What about me. I haven't talked to anyone about this. So I'll talk to you. My girlfriend hasn't been talking to be for about a month and it's actually the worst feeling ever. She already knows. She was legitimately sick for about a week, but the rest of it, she could still at least engage with me. All I get are updates like once or twice a day. I have tried to give her lots of affectionate words but none of it gets through. I am dying.
This has happened before and I was like wtf dude don't do that again and she said she wouldn't. But she has basically assured me that no matter what happens, she's in. So I really trust her and believe she'll snap out of it eventually. But it sucks to just be waiting outside in the rain staring at that locked door. Also she is dealing with constant health stuff, but that wasn't an obstacle before. It sucks because I know she doesn't feel great either, and I hate knowing she's surfering but she won't even let me comfort her. The whole thing sucks. Thanks for reading my sob story. Oh an I feel like I've tried everything, even "what can I do? what should I say? should I not say anything?" but the most i've gotten is "messages are okay". I miss her so much, I love this girl so much ;_; She was so amazing before........

>>34729607
>what i should do about this
You don’t have to do anything.

>>34729607
If you can't stand his past you should probably leave for someone else. Stuff like that doesn't normally get better, it usually simmers. Is the real issue all the pussy he got or the lack of cock you got? My wife has more experience than me because everyone does. My issue is that I didn't fuck more women but that's not her fault. Him fucking all those women is his fault.

>>34730715
Thank you for keeping it real with me, I appreciate ur advice and I took it to heart. I know I should look towards the future and he is a great guy, my head just gets so foggy when I dwell on the past but I’m always trying to improve. I’m sorry about your situation and I hope your girlfriend genuinely feels better. If you haven’t already, you should throughly explain how you feel to her, and you deserve reciprocal treatment. You sound like a great guy and it’s comforting to hear how much you love her, never give up on what you have! No matter the outcome, just know you tried your hardest and loved her with all ur heart. And I’m sure she appreciates that so much.

>>34731399
I had more to say, but wanted to get the ball rolling when I posted. When I wrote that, I still had more on the tip of my tongue, but couldn't place it. I tend to iterate and can't get everything I mean all at once. Even now I think I'm forgetting something...

So, we can't change the past, for ourselves or others, but we can create the present and the future. If you were resented for your past, that woud suck, right? You'd want somebody to start fresh with you, give you a chance. Even within the relationship, something which I have noticed as a trend is: The girl will idealise the honeymoon phase, and expect the rest of the relationship to go like that. That is a poor way to approach love and relationships. As we get to know each other, everything grows, adapts, evolves, changes. As we get to know each other better, our love deepens and becomes much broader and more defined. To me, to liken our love at 5 years, compared to our love at 5 months - it's easy to see how it has become more meaningful and different. That's not to say the 5 months had no value! It was simply different, and in it's infancy, like any newly-created being. I tend to see relationships as a whole new person being created between two people, even without children. If the relationship dies, that new "person" would be dead. Anyway. So, even within a single relationship, to resent somebody for their own past even with -you- is also a mistake. In some poorly-managed relationships, this manifests as grudges - bitterly holding on to things which were already resolved and then digging them back up again to throw in their face as a weapon.
Just keep growing. Keep aiming to improve. Keep working to get better. Do not dwell on the past; you absolutely should examine it and learn from it, but not dwell and focus on it. Keep moving forward.

>>34729607
>i recently got with this guy and his past haunts me so much, maybe it is jealousy but hearing about all the women hes been with and the things that happened makes me so nauseous
I had the same thing with my first gf, who was also my first in general. It had nothing to do with her, but being aware of her past was making me painfully aware of a life not lived and experiences not made.
I ended up breaking up to go and make my own experiences. It was the right decision and I would do it exactly the same way again.
You should really examine what causes this feeling. If it really is the fact that you didn't get enough dick variety yourself, the only way to really deal with it is to go and make up for it until you are content.

>>34729607
He's had all that experience of the world and he rejected it all and chose you.

You win.

>>34729607
What you have to realize is that small talk is the first step towards deeper talk that's why they talk about that shit at first it's a normal and natural part of conversation