>>34764538
>then we have half an hour or so before she goes to bed to read.
So if she reads for an hour what time is she going to bed? Gonna be honest bro she's texting another dude and the book is a decoy

You better put that ungrateful bitch in her place soon, otherwise you are doomed. Whatever you do, DO NOT respond to her list of bullshit. There is nothing more emasculating and weak than you sitting there defending your life, point by point, on why you actually are worth her time.
You need to start showing her that you have options, that other women are interested in you and that she could lose her place to someone younger, cuter and more grateful. Remember, never listen to what women say they want.

>>34764549
we try to have lights out by 8:30pm, so she usually gets more like half an hour to read. I can verify the books are real, and she's okay with me looking at her phone. I'm confident there's no other guy
>>34764560
how do I show her that I have options? One time I told her there was a girl staring at me in the gym and she straight up laughed and said I was lying. She's also super anxious, so I can only expect that giving her reason to worry would just make everything worse

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>>34764560
> t. idiot

>>34764538
It does sound like she doesn’t appreciate you though. Another guy has nothing to do with those complaints.
If you don’t value the things she wants to see out of you, maybe you’re just not a good fit?
I’m not an extrovert, i can’t understand wanting my partner to want to make friends unless they were complaining about being lonely.
If you are invested in making it work, ask her to help you address these issues. You’re supposed to be *together*, it shouldn’t be “this is my issue with you, now go fix it”.
Personally, I’d be sure to let her know you don’t feel appreciated for your efforts, and what does she want you to prioritize?

>>34764645
> how do I show her that I have options?
This is a retarded idea. Building your relationship on insecurity is unsustainable and will lead to really annoying conversations.
If you have other options, and don’t want to put in the work, fucking leave lol That’s genuinely easier than creating a manipulative demanding relationship

>>34764538
There isn't a simple fix, but also you are missing the point. You listed a lot of great stuff about yourself, but maybe your gf just doesn't care about that stuff, she cares about this other bullshit. So ignore the things you think are your positives and try to do the bullshit your gf finds important or dump her and get with girl who does appreciate the things you already do

She sounds like the type of person that always wants what she doesn’t have. You sound like you work hard for the both of you and bring far more than enough to the relationship. If she can’t appreciate that then that’s on her. If you’re both that unhappy with each other then I’m not sure how this relationship can continue in a healthy state. If you really want to make it work I’d say either work with her to come up with some long-term plan for how you can fulfill each other’s needs, or get a third party’s input, like a family member or counselor. Otherwise I’d cut that shit off like a bad habit.

Sounds like she wants more out of life, a cool party guy. She's already checked out and looking around at what's available. If you want to take her out more and make an effort to be more social then do it, but it's going to be for the rest of your life. She will start bitching again when you don't feel like going out and when you don't care to talk to her friends. Better to find someone you are more compatible with.
>No time for dates.
Then do they shit on the weekend.

Women are retarded dumb animals.
All she sees is that you aren't working and you're home and not with friends.
Nothing else matters to her.
She's working, you are in school, so, she sees you as not having a job.

>>34764645
>One time I told her there was a girl staring at me in the gym and she straight up laughed and said I was lying. She's also super anxious

If a girl really did stare at you then I have a feeling that her reaction is coping in plain sight.

>>34764538
>not ambitious/motivated to make money
>I'm a phd scholar in computer science and planning on getting into quant finance
What is she smoking?

>She does nothing but work.
Ah. Sounds like she's a classic type A personality. I'd just bail, but if you're into it, know that it will never be enough for someone like that, so you'd be signing up for always needing to "do stuff" if you stay with her.
These types are genuinely nuts, and some of them do eventually learn to tolerate more laid back personalities, they often are outright annoyed by seeing others "idle" (i.e. not doing something they themselves consider productive).

>>34764538
that's not love mi amigo

>>34764560
>>34764645
Not going to work.

Op has to show that he's willing to walk even when he has no options.

I'm guessing from what the gf does, op wouldn't realistically have another option or ability to get one worth leaving the sunk cost fallacy for. The fact that you're trying to show another option is weakness. If op is the dependent type she probably knows it.

>>34764720
are you retarded?
You males don’t seem to get it.
A man is supposed to work and pay the bills not be at home washing his clothes and doing housework. That’s what either the woman or both do if both work.
It’s just a major turn off if you’re as a male at home and not providing. Like a little bitch pussy. Changes the dynamic.
OP needs to do something for his Woman not me me me Gym bla bla and housework (you live there too so obviously you have to clean too).

Stop being a bitch and get a job and provide for your woman. Pay some bills and get her nice stuff (flowers, gifts, trips) from time to time. Having a job is the BARE MINIMUM as a male.
I get turned off reading about OP. Who cares if you go to the gym for yourself or do some degree where you spend time and continue being a jobless loser?!

Get a job loser.
There is no woman
not even the most radical feminazi
who likes to provide for her boyfriend.

People who can't accept embarassing details about yourself live in a fairy tale. If someone who lives in a fairy tale can't accept you for you, you do not need them in your life. You need to be human too. Besides what if in your programming career you have a boss tell you to do an all nighter on an app, and she slammed the door on you over some trivial shit. I don't know some woman who dropped on me over trivial shit ain't ever worth it.

>>34764538
Nigga you're basically her house servant. Is there any aspect of your life not dictated by her needs? You've literally subordinated your sleeping rythm to whatever she wants. Why the fuck do you have to get up because she wants to go swimming? Never mind cheating yourself out of uni life just to not inconvenience her. Of course shes lost any and all attraction. This isn't a partnership, this is you suffering from Chronic Bitch Dependency and doing whatever it takes to not lose her ladyships grace.

Women aren't vending machines where you throw in simp coins and recieve gf as a reward. You have to be a man, with a backbone, independent will and your own life.

>>34765451
>just throw your degree in a field you're actually interested in and get a job doing whatever, then your gf will leave you anyway and you'll have nothing left
incredible advice, kys

>>34764538
>Clearly what I bring to the table isn't enough.
Bingo.
>Do I just try harder?
Yes.
>Is there a simple fix?
Yes.
>Am I missing the point?
Yes.

You're doing a whole bunch of things she doesn't care about, and you're not doing any of the things she does care about. Stop wasting time on things that don't matter, and concentrate on the things that do. It's not rocket science.

>>34765480
i don’t care you absolute loser. A man should never live off his girlfriend. They aren’t even married. She’s not obligated to provide for his ass. Doing house work is the bare minimum. The degree is for himself you retard

>>34765459
you low iq retard. He is doing housework in a house he lives in and where he doesn’t pay a penny.
That’s what a housewife should do too if she is living off her husbands money. Except that they aren’t even married and they don’t even have kids.
You just want him to be jobless, getting financially provided for and for the gf to clean on top of that so he can get another degree. Get a grip you dumb nigger

i find it so funny how those dumb loser incels are trying to sabotage each other by saying that it’s okay to be a jobless boyfriend that lives off his girlfriend just to pursue another degree which has nothing to do with her and how those dumb incels think it’s okay just because he does a bit of housework in a house SHE pays for and he lives in most of the time. Meanwhile you’re just focusing on the “friends” part and missing the point.

I would have kicked you out. Leech, parasite, Beta male.

>all these posts whining about op living with his girlfriend

didn't you read he's 6'2 and (almost) a quant?

>>34765501
She deserves getting raped like a female German infant in front of thr Red Army

>>34765773
Feminazi dog, lol. Your underage female relatives deserve owe me their pussy.

>>34765785
I find it funny that female infants get sex trafficked on a daily basis. Foids owe Men, not the other way around. Your pathetic, weak gender is in the work force because we had to make up fake jobs for you to LARP in. That's how useless you are.
I would kick your teeth in and raped you afterwards, feminazi subhuman. I will remind you again- we rape you as infant. Lol. Lmao.

>>34765451
Yapping of the raped gender. All foids owe Men sex and money as they're useless for anything than breeding. Female infant costs around 150 usd. We call them "single use fleshlights". That's the worth your pathetic, weak, subnigger gender is worth.

>>34765839
everyones job is made up except for 4chan LARPers

>>34765785
Uh, STEM PhDs usually get a stipend, but you'd know that if you weren't a retard loser b8poster

>>34764538
OP stopped replying and b8 posters are flooding the thread so I assume this is a LARP but speaking as a dude who was in a similar situation I'll try to give good faith advice
First
>she assures me there's no "other guy"
There is always always always another guy. Women cannot handle being single. If she's working in a place with dudes I guarantee you she's being hit on at the very least, maybe being asked out. Even if she's not actively flirting I guarantee you that she has at least one option in the back of her mind that she'd start dating next.
Second
>I'm 6'2", I go to the gym, certainly not bad looking, I'm a phd scholar in computer science and planning on getting into quant finance when I'm done. I do literally all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, every chore around the apartment since I study from home. She does nothing but work.
It doesn't really matter if you're even running a multimillion-dollar business from home, this dynamic ends up always poisoning the female's perspective. You can't be at home while the woman goes out and works. It's just how it is, look up the statistics on divorce for stay-at-home dads.
Honestly dude if I were you I'd just trash this relationship and start over. She already has resentment for you, she already has contempt. Those feelings are like heavy metal toxins for a relationship, slowly killing it and very hard to purge. Even if you got a $500k starting finance job and started taking care of everything, she'd still remember the "you" from before and find other things to justify her feelings of dislike towards you.
The trolls calling you a bum are out of line, but you need to let her leave. Stop being a hobosexual, figure out how you'll support yourself and end things.
Also
>The few friends I do have live in different parts of the country now. Feels retarded go go out of my way to make friends when I don't even want to.
I know how this feels and it's the case for me too, but you really do need to improve your attitude.

>>34764538
>>34766789
A few more thoughts because this is really like deja vu

For one, this is why it's so imperative to build you life as a man on your own. I thought the whole "oh we'll start living together and play house and help build each other up" thing was a valid play, turns out it is not. Women do not have the same risk-reward calculus or long-term planning perspective men have. It doesn't matter if you're trying to set up a brighter future, all she's going to concentrate on is how she feels in the present. You can never base your stability as a man on something as capricious as a bitch's feelings. You always need to be your own breadwinner. I know that's hard, but that's being a man. You need to have a life where you can tell bitches to get lost and bring in new bitches without losing anything. They need to be the ones packing their shit and leaving YOUR place, not the other way around.
My hot take is that you just shouldn't be cohabiting without being serious about starting a family almost immediately after. Children really do help people stay together, it's a cruel fact but passion always burns out.
Now, if you actually want to preserve this relationship (even though I think it's a lost cause), the anons talking about running dread game are correct. Your GF is losing attraction because she perceives you to be a loser. Women don't want to fuck losers.
Even if you don't have friends or other women to talk to, just start going out. Anywhere. Fucking drive to the park and drink a coffee or have a smoke for an hour. Make her wonder where you've been. Start spending more time on your phone, stop giving her so much attention. This is necessary to raise your value in her eyes again. Then, and only then, can you start doing the mushy lovey-dovey stuff again like planning dates, going out together, romantic trips, etc. Otherwise you really are just going to look desperate and I can guarantee none of those gestures would be appreciated nearly as much.

>>34764538
>I'm 6'2", I go to the gym, certainly not bad looking, I'm a phd scholar in computer science and planning on getting into quant finance when I'm done. I do literally all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, every chore around the apartment since I study from home. She does nothing but work.
What do you even need her for? She sounds useless. Even worse,
>not ambitious/motivated to make money
>not many friends, don't catch up with them
>introverted around new people, particularly her friends
>kind of boring, don't organise dates or do fun things with her anymore
These are entirely realistic issues that are a byproduct of
>we're living in a different city from my university because she couldn't get a job there. It means I can't spend time with my cohort, so how the fuck am I supposed to make friends? The few friends I do have live in different parts of the country now. Feels retarded go go out of my way to make friends when I don't even want to.
This woman is a parasite upon your life and you will be much happier when you get away from her, move to the city where your university is, and join your cohort for social activities. She's actively killing your future. A terrible partner.

I would give this same advice if she was a man and you were a woman. She's just a selfish person with no consideration or care. You have given it the best effort you can. You cannot be more than you are already being. You sound like a genuinely great guy and she's using you as her live-in servant.

The fact you're a PHD yet she calls you not ambitious enough means she's not interested in your sort of intellectual and practical pursuit, she'd rather be fucking some street guy who doesn't have a degree but knows how to hustle.

You would have a much better life elsewhere. I'm sorry, but I'm also glad we are able to tell you this!

>>34766789
>>34766871
>>34766900
OP here, just came back to this. I see what you mean. I'm actually not dependent on her, I have a scholarship stipend for my PhD, so my net income is about half what hers is. But I get that this doesn't really make any difference. Nor would starting part time tutoring, or a side business. I just realised I've also been making the mistake of playing video games in the evening while she does her own stuff, which means the one part of my day which she sees is me wasting time. All the work I do is while she's out.

She claims a big part of it is the stress associated with my student loan. I've been a student my whole life, I had to move cities and pay rent the entire time I've been at university, but her parents have paid for everything she's ever needed. So I don't think she can truly appreciate that the loan was a necessity for me.

>>34767093
>I'm actually not dependent on her, I have a scholarship stipend for my PhD, so my net income is about half what hers is.
Yeah I figured as much, it was the same for me >>34766789 >>34766871 then I started a tech startup and my income was still intermittent even though I was working harder than ever.
>I just realised I've also been making the mistake of playing video games in the evening while she does her own stuff, which means the one part of my day which she sees is me wasting time.
As long as you're not gooming for six hours a night then having a little you tome to unwind and decompress is actually a big part of being successful. No one actually hustles 24/7, you burn out way too fast doing that if you're actually going after big fish and not just chasing pocket change like tutoring or flipping labubus or whatever. Extra income is always nice but you should go after it because you actually need it, not because you're being nagged.
>She claims a big part of it is the stress associated with my student loan.
This is a you problem and not a her problem. She might be concerned about tying her finances together with someone who is in debt but at the end of the day she either had faith in your ability to service the loans or she doesn't, and sounds like she doesn't. Again, women often look for reasons to justify their feelings. Lots of guys have student loans, fucking doctors and lawyers are leveraged to the gills but manage to pay it all back by 35 if they're at least halfway decent.

Honestly my opinion has mostly not changed, the only thing that would make me reevaluate, and that no one has asked, is how's the sex? Is she still horny for you? Does she orgasm, or at least pretend to? Does she still initiate? Or do you always have to force it, is it restricted to a certain time of day or day of the week? Do you get it weekly or less? If you're still having good sex there's a chance to bring things back, but if the sex is perfunctory then it's over.

>>34767093
>>34768511
Wait I just reread in your OP
>not into sex
It's donezo, OP. Over. Gone. Dead. Getting a woman to be reattracted to you is like getting a stone to bleed.
The only thing to do now is to get your shit together and leave her before she dumps you for a coworker (there's ALWAYS ANOTHER MAN). If you're the petty type, just know she'll seethe all the harder if she sees you "hustling" and working harder to provide for yourself, which you will have to anyway, after you break up. It's guaranteed to spoil any rebound dick she finds. But only if you leave her first, and only if you don't go crawling back to her when she gets FOMO and asks for you back.

>>34765451
Not doing this shite in 2026.

>>34764538
If you don't make money or have an income or pay the bills then no, you're not enough. Females don't care about all that cooking and cleaning BS she wants you to be a man. Not her live in girlfriend or her mom. She doesn't care about you making friends, she's just saying that so you get the hint that she doesn't really like you. If I were you I'd get a job or take my money and get my own place and pay my own bills and make my own food. If she loves you then she'll come and move in with you. If not then find someone who will. Don't ever depend on a woman because they won't respect you and will fall into treating you the way your girlfriend treats you now. A woman has to respect you as a man and look at you like a real man that can take care of himself and doesn't need her in order to really love you.

>>34764538
I wouldn't try harder. I would try to find another gf. When your food reaches its expiration date, you get new food.

>>34765451
go back to crystal cafe or lolcow farms you failed troll and miserable femcel.
And bring me a beer while your at it, thanks sweet cheeks

>>34765451
way to prove his point, dumbass.