>>34766681
Just stop. It's that easy. Also are you talking about the getting no pussy, the mindset/lifestyle, or both?

>>34766681
I attribute it to putting my penis inside a vagina.

>>34766747
Mindset and lifestyle mainly. How to stay on track long term. Dealing with self-loathing and defeatism. That type of thing.

I realized that women are not all the same.

Inceldom paints women as these uppity college-educated club-going Instagram models who want lives of luxury with an ultra-wealthy man and looks down her nose at all others.

Most women are not like that. If you stop and look around, you'll see most women are just normal people who want to feel safe and have fun.

Yes, there are endless feeds and collections of women behaving badly. If you see 10,000 examples you might think all women are bad, but there are 4 billion women on this planet. They're not all the same.

>>34766804
Let's start with the self-loathing and defeatism. What does it feel/sound like and where do you think it stems from?

>>34766811
>Most women are not like that. If you stop and look around, you'll see most women are just normal people who want to feel safe and have fun.
I wish I had realized this in highschool. Instead I figured this out at 25 and utterly squandered my time in university. Oh well, that's what I get for being a gullible faggot I guess.

>>34766812
>self loathing
To feel like you've done wrong to yourself. That you could be better but have chosen to be worse. So you hate yourself.
>defeatism
That there will be no reward for anything you do. Nothing's going to change or feel different so why bother.
where do you think it stems from?
I guess just from living and seeing your peers succeed where you fail.

>>34766811
Aren't you still single and low income? Incel means you can't get laid. It's not about beliefs.

>>34766943
>To feel like you've done wrong to yourself. That you could be better but have chosen to be worse. So you hate yourself.
Why do you feel like this?
>That there will be no reward for anything you do. Nothing's going to change or feel different so why bother.
But there will be. Think about it this way. You spent who knows how many years learning english and now you can speak and articulate your thoughts in english. Same with learning to walk and talk and whatever.
>I guess just from living and seeing your peers succeed where you fail.
Go at your own pace and focus on your own life.
What you need to do is spend time helping others and not be in your own head as much. Try practicing gratitude and meditating. You can journal your thoughts. Therapy might be helpful. The main things to remember are that women have their own insecurities/issues like >>34766811 said. Some also feel like losers like how you feel right now. Just keep making progress in your life and put yourself out there. Form habits and you will see that you will improve.

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>>34766681
>people who escaped inceldom: how did you do it?
No matter how fucked up you are, the secret is you have to invest in yourself and act like life is worth living even (especially) if that might not be in the case. That's it. There is no clever trick, there is no lighting bolt of motivation or epiphany that wakes you up, it's the same thing as painting a fence. Start painting, eat shit, find out how to do a little better the next day, and repeat, because you want to paint the fence and the fence is worth painting, if you didn't think the fence was worth painting you wouldn't be here asking about how to change.

Most of the trite advice you hear on /adv/ about diet, exercise, skills, goals, hygiene grooming etc works not because they're good for you (they are) but largely because making the physical investment act in yourself is what generates the positive attitude shift you want and keeps you out of the killzone of stagnation.

Be grateful to the universe you exist at all and have the cogence to change grow adapt and constitution to endure overcome thrive even when (especially when) you're suffering. Bitterness gets you less than nothing.

Take action. Anything else is a distraction.

>>34766979
Why do you feel like this?
Well I have fucked up every chance I’ve been given so far. It’s become a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point and it’s real hard to think positively about future.

>>34767112
>Well I have fucked up every chance I’ve been given so far. It’s become a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point and it’s real hard to think positively about future.
You need to stop self sabotaging. >>34767058 also dropping some good advice, as long as you are moving forward things will get better. I think you should see a professional because it sounds like you are intentionally trying to sabotage yourself.

>>34766681
>people who escaped inceldom: how did you do it?
Two things, mostly. 1) I learned how to convincingly fake being confident. 2) I gradually realised that almost everything I thought I knew about women and what they want was wrong.

>>34766747
What if I'm actively trying to fix my life but the lack of pussy and dating prospects get me down like crazy? Genuinely wonder what's even the fucking point of all this if I won't ever be able to start a family or at least get married. Or get laid.

>>34767309
>but the lack of pussy and dating prospects get me down like crazy?
You need to disentangle your sense of self worth and value structure from pussy itself asap and tie it to something that actually gets you the pussy ie being shredded, rich, cool etc.

>>34766681
Stop focusing on it.

>>34766811
>who want to feel safe and have fun.
Agreed, but most incels can't provide either of these things.

>>34767329
But I'm broke as fuck and won't be making money for at least another few years.

I'm not sure how 'cool' I am either.

>>34767370
>But I'm broke as fuck and won't be making money for at least another few years.
Gives you plenty of time to improve in other ways while you stack cash then

Are you expecting to hear something other than unfucking your life is going to take an unsexy and unfun amount of work and grit over several years? Anyone who tells you otherwise is blowing smoke up your ass

>>34767370
Cool, you don't need money to disentangle your sense of self worth from pussy.

>>34767384
I don't expect anything else. I'm just already in my early 30's and it feels like everyone I'm actually interested in always rejects me.

I used to work out but it's hard for me to juggle a bunch of shit at once (also in school and working). I wanted to get back on it once I graduated and worked a full time job.

>>34767389
I believe in you bro. Just gotta put in the work.

>>34766681
By showing females I actually cared about them and genuinely wanted to help fix their life.

You don't stop being an incel by having sex.

>>34767368
>Agreed, but most incels can't provide either of these things.
They can but they tell themselves they should not. Typically out of a fear of public perceptions (especially the opinion of imaginary women in his head). But in reality they do have what it takes. Anyone who can been close to an incel in a male friend group setting understands this, they open up eventually and have no problem talking about cool shit and having fun. It's just with women they clam up

>>34768982
but you do

>>34767343
Thanks, virgin.

inb4 zach claims:
>I-I-I'm not a virgin! I get plenty of coochie!!!

>>34769079
Nta but at surface level by label's sake sure that's true you stop being incel when you have sex, in name only. The mindset that created that way of life remains. Something former incels found out the hard way: getting pussy doesn't fix the issues

>>34767389
same, does not matter how you approach they always shut us down. They won’t even make eye contact with me.

>>34766681
Unrealistic expectations from yourself, a female and a relationship creates paralysis. Stop waiting for a moon shot and go for the trees. It is very rare today for anyone to find their life partner and mother of their children on the first go.

Anyway my first was a neighbor I had overlooked many times over the years. She liked me and like most healthy people wanted to have sex. She was not my ideal nor someone I really wanted to gf. I fumbled and she fumbled and we figured shit out and had sex for about 3 months. Did wonders for my confidence. Just being around a female that would grab my dick made me roar like a lion.

>>34769107
>It is very rare today for anyone to find their life partner and mother of their children on the first go.

This has always been rare. The only reason it used to "work" was because you ended up permanently stuck with your first choice as society would punish you otherwise. Ofc those relationships were dogshit, but they were married on paper so everything was great or sth