I was gonna write this as a novel, but I feel like a screenplay might be better since it's dialogue heavy and I'm not good nor do I want to be good at prose. Probably won't even finish this because a story that starts out about raping a girl isn't gonna go anywhere. Not that anything I will write will go anywhere thoughever. Do you have any feedback?https://docs.google.com/document/d/12wHn77OZB31SMqVBwKlwwCibHo-E1FcLsw2YUPyPWSU/edit?usp=drivesdk
>>34769218>coming of age story>house partyZoomers don't do that anymore. Just make the entire thing a discord chat chain of events and HAPPENINGS.
That isn't good writing of any sort.
>>34769839Idk man, you say shit like "of any sort" so I'm taking your opinion with a grain of saltWhy do you think it isn't good though? Am curious if it's actually not good or you're just not the target audience
>>34769218Subject matter is not interesting, this is well-trodden ground with nothing interesting to say.Dialog sucks.Your writing style is mediocre and not compelling. Starting the story in the middle of an "action" scene like this is setting up for failure, I have no idea who Matt and Josh are and why I should care. I'm not trying to be mean, but you genuinely have no talent and you really need to do something else with your time. A lot of people think writing is easy and imagine themselves becoming some famous novelist or millionaire screenwriter but a lot of people also lack the ability to judge whether their writing is shit, and almost all of it is.Why do you even want to be a writer? The industry is basically dead anyway except for clit lit; I don't think a single there's been a single important novel with cultural staying power written in the last 20 years. If you're writing because you have something to say or a message you want to spread, I fail to see anything original about a moral dilemma for young men that's appeared in media all the way back to National Lampoon's Animal House.>>34769872Not being able to take criticism is the worst thing you can do for your writing career.
>>34769932Its not supposed to be interesting or compelling. I can't even take your criticism seriously because you're calling a story that's supposed to be stupid and immature "not compelling or interesting". I only take criticism from people who understand what is actually trying to be done in the story. You can only give valid criticism if you actually understand what the author is trying to do. Telling me a stupid crude coming of age script isn't interesting or compelling as if I'm trying to write some deep philosophical thing or some kind of drama tells me your critique is worth shit. Sorry>Not being able to take criticism is the worst thing you can do for your writing careerWhat he wrote wasn't criticism, it was some kind of driveby insult with no actual substance to the supposed feedback
>>34769950>Its not supposed to be interesting or compellingThen why bother writing it and putting it out into the world for feedback?>you're calling a story that's supposed to be stupid and immatureWhy write a story that's stupid and immature instead of trying your best? I get doing "practice prose" but then again, why put it out there for feedback?>You can only give valid criticism if you actually understand what the author is trying to do.Oh, you're one of those "media literacy" retards. No, sorry, if you put it out there into the world then it's free to be criticized. I don't need to be a James Joyce PhD scholar to have an opinion on Finnegan's Wake.>tells me your critique is worth shit. Sorry>What he wrote wasn't criticism, it was some kind of driveby insult with no actual substance to the supposed feedbackYou have extremely thin skin and if you fail to toughen up you will never succeed. You can't post things asking for feedback and then hide behind the motte of "well it wasn't supposed to be good!"
>>34769958>Why write a story that's stupid and immature instead of trying your best?Dude, you're a fucking dork. You don't understand simple things and are probably autistic or something. When I say it's stupid and immature I mean the vibe of the story. It's not supposed to be taken seriously, it's not a deep story, it's just meant to be entertaining. That kind of thing. Sigh. You disappoint me
>>34769979You asked>Do you think this is a good start for a crude, coming of age storyI answered your question directly> this is well-trodden ground with nothing interesting to sayNow, you are getting mad and throwing insults around because I had the nerve to give you an honest answer. I bet you came on here hoping for praise and being lauded for being a "raw talent," the best thing since David Foster Wallace but you just don't know it yet!You're a fucking loser, dude, in the genuine sense of the word. You asked for feedback, I gave you feedback, now you're sperging out. Honestly, continue to pursue your suck-ass writing, your life will be worse for it, you don't deserve help.
