It feels like my entire life is fretting, working or waiting. I am living for nothing.My life is balanced enough on paper. I have a gf of 6 years, a well paying job, friends I see often enough, family. I travel a couple times a year. I do things.But I don't seem to enjoy anything anymore. It's been an issue I've had for a while really, maybe depressed though I don't think that label matters.It seems like life is flying by, and it stresses me out that I feel like I am not working towards anything. I'm uneasy taking the next steps in my relationship (eventually having a kid and getting married) largely because I feel like I have not lived for myself yet and won't.I stress about things, like work and projects and life, and then I work to handle them, and then in my free time when I am alone I just sit there doing nothing or watching YouTube. For the past months, it's gotten worse to the point that I'll literally spend hours on and off mostly staring at my PC desktop at 10pm with nothing I want to do or can do besides work or think about work. I went camping recently and just zoned out staring at the fire with no energy.I'm not enjoying anything and I am living for nothing. I've always had issues with a lack of a spark in my life and it's only getting worse with time.I have the means to do what I want, but there is nothing I want to do. I have a ton of savings and want to quit my boring, comfy, okay job (and have wanted to for years) but I can't pull the trigger because I know I'll have nothing to do which is an extremely depressing reason to be working.All I can think of is travelling, and then even when I do like when I went solo in Asia for 2 weeks earlier in the year a lot of the time I just wandered and hiked and exhausted myself and came back unsure if I enjoyed it.I'm not like outwardly a sad sap but... Inwardly I am and I think I'm boring myself to death.
tl;dr::(
>>34769329Why did you go on a solo trip to asia even tho you had a gf? Kinda weird.The cruel truth of the universe is that we don't have any true meaning to our existence, or rather we aren't born with one. How long has it been since you tried out a new hobby? Is your job truly fullfilling you? How is your relationship with your gf or friends going? Do not ask why you do not enjoy anything, ask what is preventing you from enjoying anything.
>Why did you go on a solo trip to asia even tho you had a gf? Kinda weird.Few reasons, including: the solo trip was an extension of a work related trip, my gf can't take time off as easily, also I treat solo travel as an attempt to grow and get out of my own head which doesn't always work.>The cruel truth of the universe is that we don't have any true meaning to our existence, or rather we aren't born with one. Yeah I recognise that, but am struggling with my own. >How long has it been since you tried out a new hobby? I used to work on a lot of personal projects online (software) if that counts but a lot of it dried up or burnt out. As far as hobbies to actually get me into the world it's been a while. >Is your job truly fullfilling you? Not at all. The only benefits to my job are also double edged swords: it's relatively easy most of the time, management seems to forget I exist sometimes, etc. But I do not enjoy it and am completely bored. I lack the motivation or desire for a harder job for the sake of it though. >How is your relationship with your gf or friends going? Friends, okay. I'm 30 so naturally people are getting busier with their lives so I see them less but a few times a month. Gf, okay, I guess. On paper good, in practice okay. Been feeling conflicted about taking the next steps... Not in the sense that I want to break up, but in the sense that I'm conflicted which feels awful because she's great and deserves good.>Do not ask why you do not enjoy anything, ask what is preventing you from enjoying anything.Honestly, it feels like a cop out but it feels just chronic. Feels like no matter what is happening in my life I just have trouble enjoying it. Before I was dating her I wished I had a gf, now I kind of miss being single. When I am home alone I want to see friends and then when I do I kind of struggle to be totally happy. When I'm working I want to not work, when I have time off I just feel bored and at a loss for what to do.
