the wife is a few weeks pregnant and I'm doing research for it. any advice for being a dad? I'd like to not traumatize the kid and make sure it's a healthy baby.
>>34772276Just remember that it is considered unacceptable to criticize anything a pregnant woman does. If she eats junk food constantly or has one glass of wine here and there because “the internet and Oprah say it’s safe”, you just have to keep your mouth shut even though that baby is half yours. Hope your wife is a lovely lady who is reasonable and not easily influenced by the internet.
>>34772276If it's a boy, watch him like a hawk after he's born so the doctors don't circumcise him. They do it without permission sometimes because it makes them more money.
>>34772290This. If they are going to try to it by skirting your permission, they’ll say something like>we just need to take him for a bit and clean him upThey mean circumcision by “clean him up” as disgusting as that is.
>>34772299>>34772290That's horrific. Thank you. I already didn't want him circumcized and I've had to repeatedly explain to the wife why and that she doesn't get a say here.
>>34772359I wish I wasn't circumciszed ):
>>34772290>They do it without permission sometimesDo Americans really?
>>34772359>I've had to repeatedly explain to the wifeLmao really? For some reason I'm circumcised despite not being Jewish. My wife asked if I wanted our son to be, I said why would I and that was the end of it. Why would you wife want to circumcise your son?
>Americans have to beg their wives not to circumcise their sons>They also have to watch their newborn sons 24/7 while in the hospital just in case a doctor suddenly circumcises him without asking.lmao
>>34773772me too anon :/
>>34773911>>34773871she's worried his penis won't look "normal" when he eventually gets around to fucking girls. I explained to her how every penis looks gross, of course, but how can she understand anything beyond the surface level appearance?Your amusement is earned. My parents let them snip up my dick without a second thought just because "it's the thing everyone else does." Everywhere you go life is full of retarded choices like that.
>father of 4, including high risk twins Okay here's a few things I wish I could tell past me: Take a deep breath. You're doing fine. A lot of advertising to parents is designed to make you afraid. So that you need their product. This is almost never true. The first 3 months are hard because the baby won't have days or nights figured out and will need to be fed every few hours. This isn't permanent. Just buckle up and get through it. After that things will happen in spurts. Prepare for the baby to outgrow their outfits every 3-6 months. That's okay. Don't buy 20 onesies or whatever in any size unless you need them for pictures.Keep to a feeding schedule if possible so you're not over feeding. It's best to keep a notepad near the bottles or bed and to guesstimate amounts of feeding and the time.if you don't have a good chair or recliner, get one. You'll need a good spot to hold the baby and our recliner was our most used piece of furniture. Your wife will have a real recovery period after birth and you need to understand that what's happening isn't really visible to you. There's going to be 2-3 months of the main physical recovery and even a bit more time with hormones going back to baseline. That's whether it's natural or c section. Please give her grace and encourage her to take it slowly.You don't need baby toys yet. Not really. But you do need to read to the baby. There's no penalty for doing it earlier. But the data is becoming more and more solid that reading, and exposure to reading helps language development. It's more important once they turn 12 months but earlier is also good. It doesn't have to be for long. Even 15 minutes a day once they're starting to get to 12-15 months can make a difference. Any other questions leave them and I'll answer them tomorrow morning
>>34772290When my son was born I was asked no less than every 1-2 hours for the entire 3 night stay. Literally every few hours whether it was 2am or 5pm. Every single time a nurse entered the room. It got so annoying that I was going to complain.
Imagine being born into this world and one of the first things you experience is excruciating pain. This has got to permanently fuck up people on some level.
>>34774471But the pain never ends bud.
Circumcision only exists because a bunch of brown people decided they were different from their brown neighbours and needed something to identify their brown people among other brown people. So they started mutilating their own babies to mark them because no sane man would want to go through that procedure. This is the actual history of circumcision. No source ever mentions this, instead they all say oh they believed in the heckin medical and hygiene benefits. Yeah no shit you'd tell this to your people to get them on board with this psychotic plan.
>>34772276be strict with the kid as they grow up. kids need order and not chaos. they need structure and you have to instill it in them that they need to contribute and not that it's a free ride. you gotta put that in their head when they are dumb and young and not rebellious and a teenager. cause they're still dumb in the latter half but they have no problem saying no cause they assume all this shit is for free.start them off on chores at a few years old even if its nothing.be strict with bed time. limit electronics. if you want them to do chores make sure its no electronics until chores are done or they will find a way to fuck around and spend hours doing nothing to avoid it and act like they've been cleaning the room for 6 hours and convince themselves they just walked through asia minor to accomplish it. they may bitch but if you tell them chores first they will get it done then do electronics.i always punished on 3 things: behavior, grade, chores. behavior warranted an immediate consequence like time out or bed time. chores was figured out by making sure it was done first. grades determined how much electronics time they got. if they got straight a's i'd give a loose rope, if they fucked around they'd get nothing.also set up time to do stuff with them. do family dinners and dont be the fags watching tv during it either. their youngest years matter for closeness so don't fuck around and just game in the side room cause kids problems grow exponentially in puberty if you neglect it early.usually junior high is the worst and you get 2-3 dark years where they are a bit miserable to be around.thats it off the top. the years go by fast so try to make it count. also as a step parent i was a bit evil at times and would send them to their dads with candy knowing they'd go off the rails. so in other words make sure you give them good food cause sugar is legit a drug to them and make them totally fucking unreasonable.
>>34772276Stop playing Warhammer 40k. The game fucking sucks.
>>34774535I don't really play I just like painting>>34774515>>34774341Thank you. I think we both have a bit of a grim determined outlook on it. I've been doing lots of research and reading + classical slow music are things we want to do both while pregnant and when they're an infant. I'll think of some chores to do. I'm scared of fucking them up, I feel like making some decent people is one of the only real ways to make the world a better place before I leave it.I have a few questions:>public or private school?>did you go out of your way to filter any content? I'm looking at setting up a blacklist on my router so they can't go to any sites with things like hentai>have you had to shelter them from tranny stuff? I'm down south but it crops up even here
>>34775140>public or private school?We do public. You can't protect your kids from the real world forever. And public school is the real world. We did move when the kids were in pre school because we were in a shithole school system with a huge ghetto. But we moved rather than doing private school. >did you go out of your way to filter any content? I'm looking at setting up a blacklist on my router so they can't go to any sites with things like hentaiiPads and YouTube kids are addictive. We let them do too much before we realized it was a bad influence: it's not the end of the world but YouTube kids needs to be done with you in the room ready to skip and block videos and even then it's addictive so doing it for long periods of time isn't a good idea unless it's a car trip. >have you had to shelter them from tranny stuff? I'm down south but it crops up even hereLol no, but I'm in Alabama / Georgia and not in a part of those states where it comes up much. One of the perks of being a rural anon I guess. Babies are always right. If a 2 month old is crying about something it is correct about whatever it's crying about. That's okay, and good. As the kid gets to 12-15 months suddenly they're going to want things they can't have or shouldn't have and you have to tell them no. This may infuriate them and you'll start seeing tantrums. That's okay too. You just have to let them learn the world doesn't revolve around them. Each step of parenting is difficult but slightly different. The kids literally don't know any better until you teach them. So I'd be a little hesitant to fully punish a kid an until they're much older like a pre teen or teenager.
>>34772276If you have close reliable people who experienced it, listen to them. Mind you, not everything will be aplicable but keep an open ear.Accept every bit of help.Talk to him even if he obviously doesn't get it0 screens for at least 2 years, develop other ways to entertain them Also, seconding everything in >>34774341there's no "0-6 months" toys.
>>34772276>any advice for being a dad?Everyone is going to give you shit advice that contradicts the shit advice that others will give you. There's no perfect advice - just be kind, compassionate, fun, understanding and firm.One thing no one told me before my daughter was born is that you have to learn the words to lullabies beforehand, because you can't read lyrics in the dark.
>>34775140fuck ups will be inevitable. its impossible. even if you perfectly shelter their life. be vary wary of social media, internet, and smart phones.the best approach is authoritative (not permissive or authoritarian). give them a venue to air out their grievances with things but limit it because like any human kids can find a lifetime of reasons to get out of something. they learn that crying gets them attention within the first year so they have their own game they are playing.i found the best time to talk to them was when they were about to go to school in the morning or just before bed at night (usually when reading to them). they didn't want you to leave so would keep your attention but would ask good questions then because their mind wasn't thinking about candy or what else they could get off you since they've accepted the defeat that they have to sleep.>public or privatego private if the school district is shit 100%.>interneti did this at the end, but the kid i had the hardest time with i set their computer up to the family room tv so everyone could see what they were up to in the living room and kitchen on a 55" monitor. this lets you keep an eye on what they are doing as well as an integrity check if they said they are doing their homework.you gotta dispel the notion that privacy matters. our ancestors were in 1 room shacks a century or 2 back. it doesn't matter and if they really want it they can hang out in the woods. idle hands are the devils playgrounds.i rarely had to blacklist sites that way.i also set up a password only the gf and i knew so they knew computer time was only approved by one of us (cause it stopped the bitching and moaning about, i did 10% room clean by shoving everything under the bed and helped myself to the entertainment box). i also set up an automatic shut down at their bed time so once again i could avoid the excuses about it only being 10-20-30 minutes after they were supposed to get off.
>>34775318I always just sang the lyrics to the Irish song 'oro se de bheatha baile' and that worked. The thing was that my in laws thought it was a baby talk lullaby lmao until I played the sinead o Connor version and they recognized it
>>34775327i felt like to teach a lesson i had to tell the kid 1000 times for it to sink in, but if you can avoid repeat bullshit you will save yourself a lot of head aches. i put a chore list and the day of the week on the fridge so they could consult it instead of playing stupid and acting like they forgot something.used an alarm clock later to wake them up instead of a smart phone (never let them go to bed with a smart phone. you fuck up their sleep, they will destroy your life).there's a differences between letting them air out whats troubling them (giving it a time and place where you can actively listen like at night or for 30 seconds after you've made a change) versus letting them fill up a balloon with hot air about bullshit where you're hitler 2.0 ruining their life (we got called vladimir putin at times by them because some other friends parents let them smoke their weed supply and didnt give a fuck).structure structure structure is the answer, and stuff like a chore table, password, auto shut down, taking phone away at night or not smartphone, will save you a lot of head aches.
Probably constantly checking and validating their information feed
>>34772276Make sure neither you or your wife are going muh heckin childerino and actually think about how every single one of your actions is being observed by the kid. I'll assume you're somewhat level headed (lmao) so pay attention to her as well, not just because she's your wife but because a neglected mother will often dote on her child to the point of detriment for the child's development. Good luck.
>>34772276>the wifeOff to a great start.
>>34778480this is also good advice, thank you. I already have to gently tard wrangle her sometimes, so I get it. This has been a good thread, thank you everyone. I'm debating on getting a sign or something I can tack on to the kid that says "please dont circumsize me" and I'll try not to fuck up. Appreciate it.
>>34780231also dont use baby formula. keep junior on the organic matter for as long as possible.on the day of delivery slug back an energy drink and watch him like a hawk.if you want motivation look at picrel. this is the medieval instrument they use. then they get the kid hooked on sugar and use sweet eeze to dull the pain. day 1 and a drug addict.
>>34780243Jesus Christ. The wife and I spoke about it and we agreed she'd be too tired to be watching and this will be my job. Great motivator.
>>34780505The ones in an actual hospital are used for long periods of time and they actually get stained where the blood drips down from doing them even if the board is cleaned up. I watched my little cousin get circumcised. Long story. But he cried for hours after the event and it was so.. awkward to not address the elephant in the room that some doc took an x-acto knife to his penis. Before that moment I had never thought about circumcision one way or another. After my cousin was born, I never supported it ever again. I'll never forget the screaming and crying.
I've got some stuff the other dad anon didn't cover.Feeding baby: breastfeed until weaning at 6 months. Pumped milk is breastfeeding- it's breastmilk. Supplement if you have to.Exercising: prop the baby up on pillows (supervised) pretty much as soon as they're born. Everyone underestimate how much of mobility is upper body strength.>>34772281Don't bother criticizing. Assume that the mother has the most interest in her own child and push that expectation onto her. >not easily influenced by the internetThat's the point. You're not raising a kid in a vacuum. Don't stop seeing counterarguments.Ex. Circumcision gets popular before internet was a thing. What internet arguments? The idiots are busy being idiots irl.
>>34780950Tummy time is fine by you need to keep a close watch on them during tummy time until they're old enough to pick up and move their heads. Until then there's a small but not 0% chance they could get suffocated if the surface or the pillow is on them at a bad angle. Otherwise I still agree tummy time does help build their strength and helps them hit the holding their head up and rolling over milestones faster
>>34774116do w*men not realise that the foreskin PULLS back when erect? it literally looks no different apart from being much healthier because its not being left unprotected. I swear americans are giga retarded. Everyone else thinks wow, child mutilation how horrible and america just doens't question it because they are all golems.
Didn't take long for anons to start talking about dick and completely missed the thing that should be foremost in OPs mind. Is this child his? It takes nearly a week for the egg to travel and attach to the uterus lining and longer for the hormone levels to reach a point a test can detect pregnancy. So OP needs to log all the times he was not around his wife a month ago. When the child is born a paternity test is appropriate.
>>34781866I'm pretty sure my trad wife who works from home with me didn't have time to fuck someone at 1pm when I went out to get lunch on a monday, but thanks for trying to plant that idea.
>>34781100Tummy time is normie advSit them up properly. They're not going to die if you're there paying attention and going in as slow sessions as tummy time. My kid rolls his dad's barbells around for fun.
>>34772276Idk I don't have kids myself but I guess youre already reading a lot if books on maternity and child development.Make sure you read good books by looking at the credentials of the author, check the reviews by other people in the field and make sure is not a disgraced doctor or educator, there are many of those.
>>34784178Money was beloved in his time and disgraced is a standard for academics to use amongst each other.
