I survived some things which people I knew didn't survive, several times, and am now having a very hard time being alive.
>>34775694Was it related to bombing kindergardens in the middle east?
>>34775694write about it, forgive yourself, move onwhat could you have done to helped others? made sure you died with them? how will it do the dead a favor by joining them? do you think your friends or whoever they were would have wanted that for you?it sounds like you're not even putting yourself in their shoes but so lost in self-pity that you're trapped inside yourself, but in the process made yourself the center of your own universe. so in a way you're being selfish.if whatever out there gave you a second chance, then use it to make others lives better through charity, or preventing others from dying like your fellows did.
>>34775694You could be dead and not write this.Always be grateful you got another chance to live.And also, live for the fallen. They might envy you, but they're happy they don't see you dead.
>>34775702yes, it was related to something like that.>>34775710Being a sort of involuntary survivor, I have to deal with the resentment of my peers, the obligations of the victims families and the personal trauma of near death incidents. >>34775712given the choice I would be dead, and everyone knows this. Living is not a boon it's a kind of punishment. and living for the dead is a kind of punishment as well.
>>34775784sounds like you need to look into another career field if you're getting resentment for it. go back to the drawing board, find another location/career to go into, and try to help others. go to church or other communities better equipped to handle these issues.you have a heavy burden but you can do good with it.
It's just your ego protecting itself from taking accountability.
>>34775784Why did you bomb those kindergartens? You know you are worse than a pedophile for that, don't you? You killed children against their consent.
>>34775784Did you get a combat infantryman badge?
