The real advice is "Pick a thing (with people in it) and stick with it". What kind of people goes there comes down to luck. If you don't stick to people they won't acknowledge you even if you meet heaps of them.

That boat concert is an ocassion others bond with their existing relationships. You can find someone, vibe with them and keep stalking them until they start relying on you, but it's not enough to just go and part ways that same day.

>>34776358
But since all the people who are there are there are already with somebody. I would be like a hobo annoying them for spare change.

Or do you mean that I simply stalk some people and sooner or later we've got a conversation going? Idk anon.

File: 1597240094009.jpg (76 KB, 467x700)

76 KB JPG

>>34776380
you sound like a hopeless faggot. men are and have always been the peacocks. you gotta put yourself in uncomfortable situations especially if you don't have a wingman to crowd control the others in the group.
in the disney version of the legend of sleepy hollow the skinny meek fellow ichabod crane gets the girl and the asshole bully dies
in the real version ichabod crane gets scared by the asshole and flees town. who do you think got the girl?
the scared sensitive hentai man only works with fat chick discord moderators. all the fanfiction in the world about masculine females saving basket case men are simply stories.
you have to die a thousand deaths to get your way, and let the world beat you to submission until you don't fear the consequences of another minor death (rejection).
don't let your loss become the cattle brand like you're a steer with their punching bags cut off.
you're sitting around waiting for the perfect opportunity for it to just happen. the dating app hinge had to change how it functioned because women simply don't initiate interactions, and if they do you're very very lucky. they're not going to start depositing testosterone in the water just to make them change to fit your needs. thatd be gay

>>34776324
If you go outside or go to the same locations repeatedly to just be a passive observer where you don't interact with people or build any rapport with the same people again and again, you're genuinely a retard.
You can't just exist and expect things to happen. You have to actually put yourself out there to form genuine connections to people.
It's literally as simple as going to the same event over and over, building rapport with people, and then turning that shared interest and familiarity into a genuine relationship.

>>34776380
>Or do you mean that I simply stalk some people and sooner or later we've got a conversation going?
Yes.

Not just stalk people. Bother them. Yes, you have to be a hobo. Yes you will bug them first. They may be assholes and never ever give you a chance. But hear this. Normies are wired to ignore all these warnings you're aware of. They stick to someone and bug them and become annoying, then that person inevitably goes through bad shit in life like a loved one dying and the normie is still there bugging, then he's not bugging anymore but being there for their friend and they start valuing him.

You know, the biggest fucking problem is a biological one, having fear and anxiety, being unable to relax or enjoy shit. I know that's not easy to solve, and even CBT won't fix it , or drugs will cause you other problems. It seems unsolvable but that's the reason and that's good enough start for you to work towards it.

As long as a hundred, a thousand, or a million people are working on it, someone will find the answer, and hopefully they'll share it.

>>34776324
>you can probably imagined what happened.
What did you think was supposed to happen?
Also did you talk to anyone? I mean the know the answer is no, but what do you think people are really trying to tell you? What do you think they mean?

>>34776324
No don't just "go outside." Do hobbies that involve forced human interaction. There are plenty.

>>34776648
Like what?

>>34777189
to meet people or go outside??
hiking groups, yoga classes, climbing, clean up volunteer programs, plant identification groups, birding... there's groups for every interest if you look it up. radios, sewing, historical sca reenactment, larping, boffer fighting, field sports, alternative religions. just make a list of what's interesting and go down it.
unless there's some clique most these places are desperate for new blood and more than accommodating.
you can easily dismiss any of this and call it gay, but the people in them are having a fun time. you just have to show up. that's it.

>>34776324
>going to arthouse cinemas
So you weren't outside.

>>34776409
>guy who thinks in a weird mix of pua redpill rehortic and disney cartoons
bizarre frames of reference. you sound really annoying.

>>34777212
>yoga
You're not supposed to talk, that's sexual harassment
>cleanup volunteer
Literal jannie shit, people do that for school credits, everyone wants to go home.
>plant identification
Doesn't exist. Nobody gives a shit about plants. People who do that want a PhD or school credits and want to go home.
>birding
same as above.
>radio
alone hobby
>sewing alone hobby
>reenactment
Some guys personal club, everyone gangs up against you.

>field sports
Groups formed, they won't include you unless you become top. At 30 that's a joke.
>religions
Only old people and their grandchildren are there. Alternate is for literal schizos.

Biggest problem is in all of these, groups of friends are already formed. People are never welcoming. The only thing that maybee works is shit where you need to go in a bus. Hiking for example, but not during the hike. Talk to people in the bus and be aggressive about it. You really can't talk to people during physical activities or concentration hobbies.

Yeah, I go out alone a lot. You really do have to completely ignore social boundaries. Litterally listen in on conversations and join if you find something to say.

And the fact people go in as groups is a good thing actually. People, especially women, are less wary of being approached if they're in a group. Speak to the group, not to them specifically and you can have a real conversation, that may end up in a good connexion, that may end up in more.

Also just approach people who seem alone, ofc, try looking concerned and basically make sure they are ok by themselves. That's a good conversation starter and a cheap way to make a good impression.

>>34777871
yeah pretty much. any "social rule" on the internet is kinda backwards, people only make friends by being nosy and inserting themselves into the conversation. wish i could do it without ruminating on it later and being too nervous or whatever.

>>34776324
>you can probably imagined what happened. (nothing)
That's because you are a pussy and didn't approach anyone. "Just go outside" is step 1. Interacting with people step 2. Clearly you didn't do the latter.

>>34777907
Ruminate away.

Your choices are :

- Talk to people and ruminate over what you did wrong but eventually getting it right and getting relationships.

- Not talk to people and clearly, you ruminate about that too... Be unhappy and alone forever.

Seems pretty easy to me.

>>34776324
>you can probably imagine what happened (nothing)
so do you actually enjoy going to the cinema for its own sake or you just do shit as a potential in for something else
>all these people that were there either went in pairs or groups
so? if you're looking for friends, that literally doesn't make a difference. if you're looking for dates, you're a doofus
>if you "go outside" and expect something to happen, you'll be pretty disappointed
the reason you "just be yourself" or "go outside" is not because you are trying to get some other thing, you do that shit because you genuinely want to be alive for its own sake, not just to cross shit off a checklist like "got a girlfriend" or "fucked 30 women" or whatever. you have to find joy in the process. life is not something to get through on your way to arbitrary measures of success or any bollocks like that. it's not something to get through, its something to enjoy while you got it, doofus

>>34776324
I've met lots of people at arthouse cinemas - the people who go there are always eager to chat on line before the show and in the coffee bar after. Your problem may be that you are looking only for "a girl to pick up." Look for friends, acquaintances, people with shared interests. If they're not girls, they might know some you can meet through them

>>34777867
I work in the environment space and we occasionally run planting days etc. There are quite literally always single women present and often they don't mind a chat. Will they like you? Will you like them? Who tf knows but they're absolutely there.

>>34778061
>>34778074
You know what, where do you guys live? What city/state or country. I'm becoming more and more aware a big reason people are unsociable here is because this country is a shithole. The only thing in people's minds is "Objective: Escape". Approached by strangers? Escape. Have any responsibility? Escape. They only listen to the cohort.

My other problem is my neurological wiring which is EXTREMELY anxious, so any little challenge is the highest of stakes, drains me completely and I get a depressive episode the following day. I don't even know how to start regulating this shit on the daily basis, my mind is also on OBJECTIVE: ESCAPE, and it's really fucking difficult.

>>34778248

I feel ya OP. "Just go out" is not as simple as it seems. You seem a lot like me where you go out, talk to people, vibe but still make no connections. Then when you need to vent a bit or are looking for actual advice everyone says you're a liar ans blows you off by feeding you platitudes and then getting offended when you call them out on how shallow it is.

If you can get over the fact that this guy is a jeet, I suggest looking up The Healthy Gamer on youtube. His advice and guides have helped me a ton and he's not like regular therapists or people on here where when you ask them to elaborate more they call you gay and retarded. I think a few of these videos might help you OP. I think he has a video that's much more specific towards you, but I can't find it so uhhh, sorry but I swear these are still relevant towards you.

https://youtu.be/oTrCLOyoRq8?is=7FVWWKIviuYGEqRP


https://youtu.be/tIATzLf-y04?is=896WV32Mcu2AuPxy

https://youtu.be/xoFkAui7_vs?is=nFZRjGgrUaFUCu07

>>34777867
I think I know what your problem.is

Don't go to places where you expect things to happens, be boring and you will have the most interesting life you could imagine.

>>34777926
but what if you never get it right

>>34778441
What’s his problem? Those were all valid points that he made.

>>34778441
what're your thoughts watson?
>>34778248
northwest US. people here are pretty happy despite SAD from the constant gray skies.

File: 1661175775516618.gif (2.65 MB, 300x172)

2.65 MB GIF

>>34778545
he's not willing to invest in anything. he won't even make an effort for the advice. you gotta give to get. men come in here by the truckload investing 1 calorie to make a post but not anything more to make changes in their life. half the OPs disappear after making the post because they're afraid of being called out for what they are.
people can't even see that they've built a wall for themselves and wonder why no one's ascending it to get find them. "i can't do small talk", "i don't want to pay for dinner and ice cream", "jannie shit", "i didn't go to church but its only old people".
male animals perform a mating ritual to find dates, but there's a consistent theme here of men wanting to act like a woman and wait like a princess in a castle for a masculine anime woman to invite them to their first date.
all the harem isekai anime, ai girlfriends, and other slop online has sold them a big fat lie, and realistically they're lazy low-investment men. there's major societal issues in the west, and there's definitely problems with both sex's right now as well. it's hard out there, but do these people want a girlfriend? most of them see that they'd have to make changes and say no internally.

if you want to 'beat the system' and become a monk, more power to you; but, if you think someone's going to walk up to you when you're not even willing to look in a mirror and fix yourself, then you're a walking circus act.

>>34778569
I think people like him and myself just missed the boat in life t.bh, and are in too deep of a hole to claw out of. That does happen to some people

>>34778597
how old are you? unless you're like 110, there's single women in every age bracket. stop feeling sorry for yourself, because there's a woman out there that's lonely like you. yeah, your odds of finding her have dropped because the pools shrunk. if you take care of hair/teeth, lose weight, and have your life together, then you have a general admission ticket to the ride.

>>34778606
>how old are you?
27

I'll hijack this thread for a moment if I may, even if it doesn't quite fit with the OP. I've been at a juncture where I'd have the opportunity to re-evaluate my life and add some hobbies to it that make me touch grass (and directly or indirectly meet women in the process). The problem is I can't come up with anything I genuinely want to do outside, and as far as I can tell it's not a good idea to just go do something you're uninterested in for ulterior motives.
Should I just accept I'll stay a horny introvert unfit for social life at large (I do have friends left over from school, but point still stands) and stop trying to naturally stumble upon someone who could be a mother to my children? I could be happy as a lone hermit, but living in the uncertainty in-between is draining.

File: what9.jpg (249 KB, 1257x1413)

249 KB JPG

>>34778638
>27
-_-'... nigger
you're still in your prime years. get off here and listen to some of the advice thats been given. sign up for dating apps, find third spaces to meet others in.
lose weight, fix your hair and teeth if they're fucked, and have your life in some order if you're pushing too hard on some vices, and get out there.

Yeah, going into dating apps is gay and a pain in the ass. It's rare to love the game they make you play, but you gotta invest the energy if you want a person out of it.
I'd recommend the third spaces over dating apps just because most the dating apps are owned by one company and they want you to stay forever.
Clubs/groups want new blood and they're often willing to bend over backwards to be accommodating.
It may not be the same as playing roblox or fortnite but you got to learn to appreciate the small things, even laughing at yourself for going back on the wagon and taking the stupid ride.
just make a bucket list and try each one once for a laugh until you find a couple you can regularly attend. these are places people go to socialize.

>>34778685
There are almost no third spaces left in this country. The powers that be made sure of that.

File: slump35.jpg (91 KB, 546x896)

91 KB JPG

>>34778681
why is it not a good idea to just do something you're uninterested in for ulterior motives?
not everyone goes to church to hear the priest reread bible passages, or goes to yoga to meditate their body, or goes to weddings to celebrate a marriage, or even goes to alcoholics anonymous because they still struggle with alcoholism. there's people in AA that have been in it for 50 years. they don't need help anymore.
your reasons are your own. you don't have to shout it from the rafters, but these events are still social events. people go to them to socialize. they could pull up a youtube video on how to stop drinking, or yoga alone, or plant identification solo, but they don't.
it's like you're trying to do a 100% good boy run in an RPG game.

the problem now that didn't exist 20 years ago is that it was much easier to just bump into someone in the store, on an elevator, in the wild, because they weren't looking at their smart boys, or couldn't wait to get home to stare at some screen.
culture changed and people don't want to small talk to you while they're waiting around.
standards changes, and the 'social rules' are dictated more by the internet than reality. call it unfair, but are you going to change to find something that works? are you gonna adapt or give up? that choice is yours.

>>34778711
what country are you from?

>>34778717
US of A. This country sucks now

>>34778545
Its the usual thing of preemptively shit talking everything before even trying, a clear sign of not being willing to put in minimal effort. Because goign there and checking whether it realyl does suck doesn't cost anything besides sacrificing some gooning time, and coming up with alternatives if he doesn't like the suggestions made is on him.

>>34778731
But like if something is probably gonna suck what’s the point in going

File: what17.jpg (24 KB, 542x453)

24 KB JPG

>>34778721
what state? northern alaska?
im in the usa in the northwest and have tons of clubs and groups around me.
>>34778747
this form of strategizing that works on a battlefield or a real time strategy game doesn't work in finding relationships. how many male birds have to do the dance before they find a female to mate with?
do you want to find a date or do you want to strategize the odds of finding someone? your choice. you have to look past the weeds and see the forest. that's why you gotta enjoy the small things and not get depressed.
its a gay stereotype of learning to enjoy the pain, but i got a laugh out of putting myself in ridiculous situations in my efforts. if it failed, i never had to see any of the people again, and that's what kept me jumping around and trying.
once again, you're built a wall around yourself through your actions that you need to break down to move on. the situations a girl is going to approach you first is extremely rare unless you're 10/10. they don't initiate. its why hinge has problems because women don't message the men first. ball's in your court and yes you have to make an idiot of yourself to play.

I go to bars by myself and almost always make friends with someone and sometimes have a wild adventure or get a girl.

Skill issue

>>34778711
Don’t try to drive to a bar unless you want a DUI goy. Or you can pay 100 dollars plus tip for an uber heh

>>34778789
>its why hinge has problems because women don't message the men first.
Hinge had that? I thought that was only Bumble (which began to allow men to message first at some point).

>>34778789
>what state? northern alaska?
North Carolina
I should mention that I have borderline crippling social anxiety

>>34778800
not all of us can be turobonormies

>>34779460
Im far from a normie. I always make up a fake identity when I go out by myself since I’m a neet. It’s great fun. And social anxiety is cured by drinking which is why people go to bars in the first place.

>>34779530
nigga i get drunk in my room daily and i still have horrible social anxiety

>>34779543
That sucks bad. You’re in quite a pickle. I would try getting ketamine therapy. If you have money you can get doctors online to send you ketamine.

Ketamine is for neuroplasticity you still have to do the exposure therapy and ideally just follow the cognitive behavioral therapy shit

File: 1696160363467005.gif (3.33 MB, 498x280)

3.33 MB GIF

>>34776324
>Just go outside bro
If you are a socially homeless bum you need to do shitty low status things in order to build your social life from scratch including face the fact head on including the possibility you are a friendless loser who may also be unpleasant to be around for whatever reason. Because you are a social bum your only actual recourse is in fact to 'just go outside bro'. There is no clever trick or video game strategy guide that is actually going to help you make friends. If you want to make friends you need to meet people and in order to meet people you need to go outside and not everyone you meet is going to be your friend. In order for people you meet to become friends you yourself need to be proactive, congenial, and not be an asocial maladaptive freak.

>>34779598
i dont think im an asocial maladaptive freak but im deathly afraid of being perceived as one so i just stay inside all day because thats the best way to ensure that doesnt happen. what do?

>>34776324
i feel you. up until covid, i also went outside a lot and had hobbies that involved interacting with people. but none of those interactions ever led to anything beyond acquaintances. i couldn't take the extra step with anyone i met to actually become friends. it used to be easy for me as well. had plenty of friends in high school/college. eventually, everyone drifted away and i never found anyone new to be with. I'm not autistic. i can talk to people just fine and interact with all of the turbonormies at work without issue. i just hate every second of it. i can't share anything with them cause all my interests now are either boring or shit that normies would find weird.
at this point, idk what i even want in my life. have a decent job, have some hobbies i can do by myself but 0 friends or relationships. there is nothing else out there that interests me and i can't motivate myself to find a hobby for the sake of getting a gf or friends.

File: 1700138117905677.gif (1.42 MB, 220x200)

1.42 MB GIF

>>34779609
I don't know if you're a maladaptive freak but you definitely make yourself neurotic and gay by thinking about what other people think about you too much. Spending too much time inside your own skull in general is bad for you. There isn't any actual good solution to being worried about what other people think if you're a freak or not. Most problems like this don't have any 'clean' solutions. Suffer the failures, don't make the same mistakes twice, and move on. The only way out is through. As with most things in life everything you want is on the other side of fear.

>>34776324
Nobody cares about you or anything you have to say unless you provide some value or have the potential to provide value in the future. If they can't benefit from you or the energy you bring then they won't engage with you, and even if they engage with you at some event like this it's merely casual and they have no interest in letting you inside their group and will not reach out to befriend you in the future, especially if they sense you are not a bluepilled mind controlled golem like them.

Its all a total fraud.

>>34779799
Gay retard post.

It's not some kind of dark arcane knowledge that people want to be in proximity to power status and good vibes. YOU want proximity to people with status and good vibes. People will like you the more status and good vibes you give. You will never in a million years have anything to show for being cynical Holden Caufield who thinks he is 'above' or sees through this game. It just makes you a bitter unlikable faggot. The actual inauthentic fraud thing is thinking everyone doesn't see you for the special special boy you are deep down if you just had one chance to show off how cool and smart you are. Don't be this way. Death sentence.

>>34779799
>aahhh people want to be around likable able bodied people im going insane how can this beeee

File: 1600866601095.webm (1.82 MB, 720x1280)

1.82 MB WEBM

>>34778831
i meant bumble. thanks for correction
>>34779454
price to admission here is that. you're level 1 at socializing and need to level the skill up.
there's 100% clubs in your state. 80% of americans live on the east side of the country. time to open up good for groups.
>>34779543
you should not be drinking alone. nicotine helps me more for anxiety anyways. i say stupid shit drunk and get in trouble. you can use the quit smoking phone number and they'll give you a discount or free patches. i cut them up and only use them when i need to and they last forever.
>>34779609
you have to continue to fail and learn to love it. there's no other way. a wingman helps by a long shot in places like bars or dancing.
>>34779840
this guy's on point. people feed on energy. if you're going to give a calorie of energy, get a mouse or your ai waifu will love you forever for pressing the enter key and sending sam altman a check each month

>>34779840
NTA but I think it's more about the fact that you need to weaponize it against them, and basically LARP all these things to attract them. Fake it till you make it, and "seeing through the game" sure does help with it

>>34776324
What this anon said. >>34776358 Propinquity is what gets you friends. Being around the same people regularly.
The only place I ever successfully went alone and could strike up conversation easily was a bar. Even then, it really helps to know someone around so you're not just stranger who walks in. But the big caveat with that is becoming a bar regular is a massive waste of money, kills your health, and risks becoming an alcoholic.
I do shit solo more than ever lately. And desu, anything big and social, like a festival, solo fucking sucks. It quickly becomes more lonely than just staying home.
There's solitary hobbies like hiking that works great for getting out of the house, burn some calories too.
But if you want to meet people, you kind of have to pick a thing and commit. The good news is as you make more friends, you'll network through them and start meeting all sorts of people. But when you're starting from zero, it's very much a beggers can't be choosers situation.

>>34780729
>And desu, anything big and social, like a festival, solo fucking sucks
that's the best place to go solo imo, no one cares or bothers you, you have your own schedule to see shit and don't rely on others
i just accept and i'm an introvert and won't socialize much, OP should do the same

>>34780729
It’s literally not fair, as bitchy as that sounds. Why do I have to go through the humiliation ritual of going to fucking activities to make new friends as an adult when normies didn’t have to do that? What the fuck?

>>34780729
>The good news is as you make more friends
my "friends" won't let me network, always some kind of bullshit reason why I can't tag along
>>34781178
>OP should do the same
OP here, I would really like to procreate someday and also have lived experiences and make memories with people someday and stop being an extra so that the streets in my city would look less empty when they're making a movie there

>>34776324
Horrible advice you're just ugly and sub 8 dude

>>34781303
You have 100% control over your response to unfair situations.

I managed to make friends once with a married couple, but they seem to be kinda weird by normie standards, at least it feels so.

Anyway, what is your opinions on drinking some alcohol before going to festivals/concerts? My parents admonish me for even thinking about it because they meet each other sober at weeding party, but it seems to be more of freak occurrence, especially that they have turned into functional alcoholics long ago.

>>34778685
not him, but...
>you're still in your prime years.
But women aren't; either they're fat, got a kid, they're fat and got a kid or have a man already.
I could and actually would prefer to go for younger women, but I'm bad at guessing the age, so I fear I would end up hitting on a teenager.
And there is problem with third spaces - it's mostly whatever left of bars and clubs as those decreased greatly. My parents could easily go to a party at nearby fire station every weekend or so when they're were young.

>>34778310
>>https://youtu.be/oTrCLOyoRq8?is=7FVWWKIviuYGEqRP
>socially anxious people grow up with socially oblivious people

>too autistic/ADHD to talk with other kids most of the time so eh
>...
>father interrupting me for talking too slowly/stuttering or being disinterested in talking with me or being a cunt in general
>sometimes talked with mother, but it was often her talking most of the time
>kinda ignored at family meetings
Oh yeah, that could do the trick

>>34783107
i prefer showing up early and drinking at the festival/concert itself. that way you can hang out with your buddies for a while longer and be decently close to the stage.

>>34783188
>with your buddies
ah... hahahahaha

>>34783181
>>father interrupting me for talking too slowly/stuttering or being disinterested in talking with me or being a cunt in general
>>sometimes talked with mother, but it was often her talking most of the time
>>kinda ignored at family meetings

woah, that's like literally me, or something

>>34783192
you can definitely meet people and socialize with strangers before a concert. you probably won't end up making any friends but plenty of people go to concerts alone. to be honest i rarely go to concerts with friends these days since none of my friends who are into the music I'm into live near me anymore.

>>34783227
>you probably won't end up making any friends
then what's the point

>>34783257
you shouldn't go to concerts to meet people. you go to a concert for the sake of going to a concert. socializing is just a secondary thing you do to pass the time and have some more fun. or to practice your social skills while you're there.

>>34783321
>you go to a concert for the sake of going to a concert.
that's what I did, but it still hurts seeing all those hot chicks and cool dudes around me having fun with someone else. Yeah it's a chuddish perspective, but that's it.