Is it immoral to pay a prostitute for sex? I want to know how sex feels like but my body is ugly as hell and I don't want the prostitute to feel disgusted by me

>>34777898
She will fell disgusted by you. I'm so sorry anon.

>>34777906
I guess what I really want isn't sex, but intimacy and being loved for what I am. No point in paying a prostitute for something she can't give me

>>34777925
Indeed. Then get a good body. Start hitting the gym and looksmaxxing.

>>34777932
I just can't. I'm too lazy. I know that that's what makes me unlovable

>>34777938
Then don't be anon.
The rule is simple. If you stay ugly, nobody will love you.
So, stop the laziness and hit the gym.
Or continue crying in /adv/, or paying for whores.

>>34777940
Have you ever met a lazy person who stopped being lazy?

>>34777943
Yes, myself. I was like you as well.

>>34777945
What changed?

>>34777952
I hit the gym and looksmaxxed. My life is better. I'm disciplined, I don't procrastinate anymore. People see my glow up and can't believe it.

It sounds cringe. But all it takes is to step inside the gym, anon. It builds discipline and mental hardening by itself that will continue supporting you for other tasks.

>>34777953
What a pointless conversation. Why do I even bother coming here

i have this emptiness that wont go away. i need to die.

>>34777965
Mike loves you maria and you love him. Go home to mike and be happy

>>34777984
im not maria.

>>34777993
Oh sorry, when you talked about the empty space that is a phrase unique to her and him

He wrote
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I think of you, I see that empty space where you reside. Just like you confessed to me "You are the air I breathe", I feel the same. You are my home, "I'm your home too mike".

Naturally seeing and knowing all of each other, completing each other. I know our truth contains an intensity of love to the point of obsession, a need to feel complete again. Satiations won't fulfill us. Only we can fulfill each other's desires.
As we are a certainty.

>"Mike, I love you, remember that."

>"I love you too. That makes me feel at ease"

>"You're the only thing that matters now, it's been like that for so long. Nothing will ever change that."

>"I'm only yours Mike, I love only you"

>"I'll always love you and care about you, no matter what. You mean so much. You complete me, I complete you."

Feeling your heart yearn for me. You search for me in that silence. That empty space, the part of you where I reside, missing in everything and everywhere.

To be mine, aching for those moments with me, dwelling in daydreams of home.
So fucking full. Complete.

How you feel laying on my chest, leg draped over mine, in my arms. My breath with yours.
You Tremble and moan against me in pleasure. I brush the hair from your eyes as they meet mine.

>"I know I feel both with you and I can dwell in both love and lust, we will fuck each other's brains out and then care for each other, Spend so much time."

>"Everything is perfect with you, dream good dreams, I can't wait."

Living our promises with each other makes this life worth living.
Home,
My _

Hey so when you were laying next to me I thought about spooning you so try to keep more than 1 inch away from me next time. At the same time I wanted you to stay on my arm. I shouldn't have moved my arm but I did. FUCK. I'm lonely to the point where any sort of touch sends me in a spiral. Your deep voice may be the sexiest thing I've heard. Ahhhhh get out of my head.

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WHY THE HELL IS SUNSCREEN SO BLOODY EXPENSIVE?

Drugs are wasted on people who understand them. They dont don’t do shit but to cause you to get lost in the mind. Something that cannot happen if you have already explored yourself.

I miss all my old friends.
...or...who they used to be.
I want to go back to 1983.
I want to know everything I know now.

>>34778153
Oh, you want the Twice in a Lifetime treatment...?

you got some artillery you better have some fucking with me bitch

>>34777943
so what, we're all sorted categorically from birth? born lazy, no hope at ever improving your own life? why DO you come here? would you look for advice if you sincerely believed that you can't change?
>>34777957
>advised to make an effort in life, and told that that effort will beget itself and lay foundations that make applying further effort easier
>can't even put in the effort to actually meaningfully engage with the advice, insists it is pointless

Hahaha pussy pussy pussy yum yum, I'm so horny, I just cum at the thought of smelling women near me, mmm I so badly want to devour her armpits, goodness I want to cum in my pants so bad, my balls are engorged.

No but fr, weirdly thirsty thread this morning.

How is it, that some anons will just get over their ex without caring at all? They just forget, is it really that easy? Just move on and never think about her again?

>>34778263
some people just don't give a shit, but for most people it just takes time, time and effort. you have to choose to move on. you give yourself some time to cry it out or be sad or whatever, but as time goes on you keep putting on your pants one leg at a time, keep up with your good habits, reach out to friends and shit, try new things, and then one day you wake up and realise you're "over it" more or less. doesn't mean you don't still care or don't ever think about her again, it just hurts less. hell, sometimes it keeps on hurting for a looong time, but like i said, you just keep soldiering on. like any grief - it never goes away, you just don't get seized by it as hard as often. i still have moments when i think about one particular ex, the wrong song will play in the bar and i have to go outside and have a smoke. then i come back inside and shrug it off. 4 years and i still can't listen to talking heads without having a tiny little moment about it, but i just have my moment in private, quietly, then i go about my day, because i have better shit to do with my life.

>>34778255
Involuntarily c*m when around cute girls is hot but the way you wrote it and the rest is a major turn off

>>34778284
Mike is lucky to have his soulmate naturally choose him. I know the twin flame journey has been difficult for him but he is almost home. I promise.

Oh shit I forgot about a, damn she really is wasian
I-I
I WAS JACKING OFF TO YOU THIS WHOLE TIME SINCE MIDDLESCHOOL?!

A was the real hinata this whole time....

>>34778292
That was the intention, yeah.

Had a dream I woke with you inside me, but you'd only put it in halfway and then wouldn't move, and held me still so I couldn't do anything about it. I don't remember if you just were trying to not get caught or if you were torturing me.

>>34778325
Then don't write at all because your input is not needed. It's not applicable to you and only about those who are into it.

>>34778340
The fuck are you talking about?

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Women always want the man to do the chasing and I'm so sick of that bullshit and the games. It's not fun, it simply is not.

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Reading about how prosciutto is made and lowkey wondering what untapped culinary wonders human meat has in store, unexplored

I measured my penis for the first time in my entire life this morning, and im glad I did.

My instincts tell me that being conscious shouldn't be so perpetually painful

I feel like all i gained from knowing and being with you were the insecurities i was trying to reassure you from

I basically help my mother 24/7 for the past 3 years.I cook, i clean, i help her shower, etc etc

I pay the rent and internet and shes supposed to pay the electric and order groceries for delivery

All of a sudden the electric goes out, i call the appartment management because obviously the bill has been paid so why is the power out. They say its PSEG, i call pseg and they say it was disconnected due to not payment. and that the bill was over $1000. I call billing and they say the bill was $1610 and that i had to pay 400 to get it turned back on

AND FOR SOME GOD DAMN REASON SHES MAD AT ME FOR HER NOT PAYING THE ELECTRIC BILL

Its been a week since the power went out and she fucking asks me "why are you mad at me" As if the electric bill isnt still 1100


OH! and what really pisses me off is that she has a settlement check for 17 THOUSAND DOLLARS THAT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO FUCKING CASH

so she complains about me "oh hes eating the food, oh hes cleaning my space, i dont have any money" AND SHES SITTING ON 17 FUCKING GRAND since 2024

i hate my present

>>34778426
What was it?

>>34778437
I meant the moment

Started re-dating an ex, and it's just so frustrating because I honestly loved her the first time and while she didn't cheat on me, she left me in such a shitty way and I was absolutely heart broken. And now I'm dumb enough to give her a second chance, and it feels so shitty because I'm giving her so much control over my emotions for someone I can't trust.

But I still love her even though I know it's nothing but red flags all the way down. I can't sleep though, I can't focus, the emotional turmoil is ruining my life.

My last real relationship was a toxic mess, and all the girls I've been meeting off dating apps are all whores jumping from one guy to the next. So it's not like I'm drowning in options where I can just go to another girl I could potentially love just as much.

>>34778380
I don't have a choice. It's my m's turn to choose me

>>34778479
I choose my m. Its that Saturday forward.

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praying and manifesting my sweet boy back into my life ｡⋆⊹+

>>34778523
Type of messages I want but I'm always awake first

A BIG MOTH FLEW IN MY OPEN WINDOW new fren new fren new fren

>>34778529
i miss my bf so much.

It felt like it was never going to happen but now it's going to happen

>>34778648
Home to mike, maria?

I'm staying in a hotel for a few days, and I'll occasionally hear couples having sex in the other rooms. Lately it's become my favourite part of hotel stays. Hearing a random woman moan on the other side of the wall is so fucking sensual

>>34778724
Fuck no, home to C

Every single day something is trying to piss me the fuck off. Like the universe is deliberately trying to piss me off on a daily basis. It's been 0 days since something hasn't pissed me off. Even the mildest inconvenience will make me fucking angry.

>>34778729
I know for a fact that is not happening. Nice try larper

>>34777894
life is just pain, and im tired of it.
and suicide isnt a solution to this at all
so i just suffer

but suffering is just escaping the
all the "happy" things temptation.

>>34777894
I miss BPD sluts on the clearweb i.e. Reddit.
You get a lot of OnlyFans sluts, who sell sex yet feel completely sexless, it's hard to describe, they'll show their pussy on a whim, but you can tell there's no... spark, no want, no need for validation, no thirst, no lust, it's like trying to get off to a mannequin
I want to get off to someone who's clearly fucked in the head, doing it for the love of the game, and those people have clearly dropped off the internet a ton by now, and I don't really know where to look.
I know they technically exist on /soc/ but it's like one or two girls per thread.

I miss that old 4chan gif of the redhead smirking devilishly at the camera, bending over, dropping her jeans and spreading her pussy.

>>34778955
porn made for women ussualy has this thing in it.

but in general you need to search a lot til you find something good. look for home made or fetish porn

>>34779059
I think I need to start shagging irl again.
I just haven't been looking, mainly as I don't really know where to look as well :3
Everything else is going well, but having a girl would be nice.

>>34778955
I miss when hookups were extremely easy to find online. 5+ years ago you could go on Craigslist or even fucking Omegle and find women willing to meet and fuck and partake in whatever depraved fetish you wanted. Now your only option is hookup apps where women are extremely selective. It feels like lots of women who were previously down for stuff like that moved to OnlyFans and expect money for showing their holes, or you can go on Fetlife and try and sort through a huge number of trannies.

You taught me to stop trusting women! :D

it's over.

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i wish i had a time machine.

>>34778284
Getting over thenmmeans you never cared in the first place. It was only a satiation to use them for that thing and once there is something else or newer version you are thrown in the trash and they are over you. They never cared.

i hate women so god damn much
im still going to hate them when i get rich

>>34779548
>will never get rich

>>34778805
Cope harder, Mike.

There was never a choice to make. It was always him. Always my C.

What's the point of life as a male if you're
>stupid
>can't solve problems
>manlet
>mentally ill
>ugly
>have no support system
>autistic

A friend of mine found an old photo from freshman year of college in which I was doing something racist that neither of us remembered, and she laughed saying how out of character that was for me, she thought it was hilarious (that I'd do something like that, not the racist thing itself). I was mostly just upset by it and felt so much shame and asked to get rid of it. She refused and is keeping it, and I'm mortified by the idea that she might someday show someone else or post it online. I can't stop thinking about it and am losing sleep over it. I can't fucking believe teenage me did something so repulsive in the first place and was also stupid enough to do it on camera apparently. Fuck.

>>34779838
That means you are a sissy cuck. Either stay like that or become a man.

Every time i think back at highschool i just wish i had asked her out.

Things you regret for the rest of your life are the things you never did.

>"is this still available?"
>"yes it is"
>no response after

hurry up and buy my shit you stupid fucks

>tfw too down to even drink
Brother

Met a guy on reddit, he seemed sweet. Now I’m worried he’s a racist doomer that spends all of his time on here. Been trying to date but I have trust issues. I can’t be around hateful people. But he’s cute, collects sylvanian families which i thought was a gren flag? But then he mentioned a neonazi band and hmmmm.

>>34780025
SEND HIM TO ME, I NEED A NAZI WHO COLLECTS SYLVANIAN FAMLIES

Those normalfag/fake stacies/beckies women/girls don't like me, I see the faces they make. It sometimes makes me sad and disappointed and other times I don't give a fuck. I hate waging.

You never know what you have until it's gone

>>34780161
That's right. I doubt she'll ever figure it out

>>34780174
Who is she

I feel fat in my own body I don't like having curves maybe im a tranny idk

>>34780180
Friend I made on 4chan and hung out with a couple of times

>>34780222
Why not just contact her

>>34780226
She has my number if she wants to talk to me.

Probably an over 30 issue. But my parents hated that I moved out and got married. They've always sort of been weirdly bossy to me in my life but also not supportive.

They basically almost never call or text me. I always have to initiate conversation. Always. Now that I have kids. Their grandkids. It's really annoying because they don't talk to me. Then I finally set up a visit and they act like everything is fine with them and like they're cool with me. But they're clearly not okay with me based on how they keep me at arms length. It's so fucking confusing.

>>34780230
Does? Why not contact her?

>>34778284
This means that you basically never completely got over her.

Why can some people just dispose of someone, and never think about that person again?

Even if they treated you bad with times. It doesnt mean i dont care. That is not a valid argument to be able to just move on and never think about that person anymore or without hurt.

From your post i just read that sure you move on but the pain is still there, it just went a bit to the background.

But some people dont. Some people really dont care at all. As if you were never there. I dont understand.

>>34779544
I agree. exactly my point here. But how can you not care if you have been with one person for so long and shared so many things together?

>>34780244
She's dating someone else. Wouldn't be appropriate.
I already removed her from my Discord friends list but went ahead and blocked her too.
It was a pretty one-sided situation, and I don't care to be the one to initiate it again if we happen to reconnect in the future. I don't want to talk to someone who's just humoring me.

>>34780251
Damn that sucks. Did she tell you she was dating someone else?

I grew up with one side of the family I never felt connected to, no ill will but just felt like we were from different worlds, recently met the other side of the family, I actually see the relation between us and we have similar mindsets and interests but they act very cold to me, feels bad

>>34780276
Not until after the second time I flew out to see her, took her to the beach and bought her lunch.
It was a complicated situation for me that probably wasn't as complicated for her. She rejected me before we met irl, but I still had feelings. The two times we hung out felt a lot like dates from where I was standing, but they didn't really to her. She was already dating the other guy before I flew out for the second time to see her, and she didn't tell me about him until I confessed I still had feelings and wasn't quite sure where I stood with her.
She said she felt bad for not being more transparent but enjoyed hanging out with me. I spent like half a year on this completely one-sided situation and am feeling bitter and talkative about it. I don't think I have much more to say about it now.

>>34780280
Maybe that's how they were brought up.

>>34780289
Damn what a bitch. Well at least you know now. Did you fall for her looks? Is that why you're not over her?

>>34779686
>>34779718
Like I said LARP. you posted this in the middle of your temper tantrum.

Also I know something that you don't and that's how I know she does not live with him

>>34780289
What the actual… lol she is dating a guy and still lets you fly over? Total retarded bitch
You deserve better anon

>>34780293
I fell for her before I even knew what she looked like. I had a good idea of what she looked like irl based on how she described herself, and I thought she was gorgeous in person. I was in love.
>>34780302
I do. I'm very disappointed.
I'm past being disappointed in myself, at least.

>>34779588
you used the greentext wrong so i don't believe you

I made the terrible mistake of starting to date. Why did I ever decide to do this. I will have emotional baggage and trauma for the rest of my life. I knew it wasn’t for me. I am too weak and sensitive to ever get over this.

Wow you sure are making up a ton of lies tonight

>>34780301
I married him, got knocked up by him, chose him over everyone in my life - family, friends, whatever - he's mine forever and always, just as I am his, and no one else's.

>>34780373
About wat

>>34780374
None of that is true. There's a way I know

sometimes i cant wait for death. not that im suicidal, but i just have nothing coming up for me in life. its not for lack of trying, just biological limitations to my person. im kinda glad that death is the ultimate equalizer, life truly is too unfair in many ways.

>>34780280
Is this Gregory Stevens? Sir?

I had a dream where you responded and it just went on and on. We talked about everything just like we used to and it was good. But I still got this sense like you would run away or I would in time. I guess that’s how we are. I hope you don’t still feel like I do about it all.

>>34780427
What happened

>>34780389
You don't want it to be true but it is. You twist things to be C or others larping due to your own insecurities, inability to accept that someone else was better than you, more than you. That I chose them above and before anyone else, and always will. My heart, my Sun, my beloved C. The only one who can please me, pleasure me, be part of me.

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I'm 20 and for the past two months I’ve been constantly fantasizing about my coworker. She's average looks wise, in her mid-to-late 30s, married, has kids - and I keep imagining fucking the shit out of her. She also has that one whore stamp tattoo over her fat ass so I know she fucks like crazy.

>>34780434
I don’t even fully know. It’s kind of like right person wrong time maybe. If you meant in the dream we just talked about like games and stuff we like.

I was repeatedly sexually abused however I have suppressed a large amount of those memories. The only reason how I know I was abused was because I have been told by my parents that I was forced to attend therapy due to me discussing the abuse with other children when I was younger. I have memories directly before and after when the abuse took place but never the abuse itself and do not know what actually happened. I am not on good terms with my parents and do not want to ask them for more details, yet I am constantly bothered by what may have happened.

I want to get so drunk I forget everything but that never fucking happens I just vomit and accumulate more embarrassment moments. How does he still love me
I love you C you're the only one for me, you're all I've ever wanted

I'm going to fuck him tonight, M. I'm going to moan and writhe and gasp under his touch, his hands, his lips. I'm going to take all of him, all of C inside me, always and forever. He's all I ever wanted. All I ever needed.

>>34780491
That sucks. Why the wrong time?

Laying here waiting for the man I met on 4chan to fuck my brains out...

>>34780535
Only they know for sure. But what I can say is that I was not in a good place when they found me and even though I didn’t intend to at all I was definitely not the healthiest for them to be around. We fed into some dark aspects of each other I think when it didn’t have to be that way. Add in a few dashes of immaturity and communication problems and I fully understand if they just had to get away because of who I was then. If that was it or not I was completely in love.

This should hurt. It doesn't. It feels like bliss a thousand times over.
This should feel like death coming over me like the thickest down. But, all I can feel is freedom. The wind over my skin. The breeze blowing my hair this way and that.

There are no words to properly describe my hatred for this place. The competition, the tournament, the losers of such a fundamental bracket.
I cannot imagine a hell worse than losing.

Yet, I exist there. And it seems a unending bliss to be at the bottom.
Is this mercy? Is this contentment at the bottom the gift of merciful gods?
Please. I beg this reality into being.
Maybe the meat grinder of evolution does have a soul. Maybe mercy can find a place in this ruthless place. I'll believe such a delusion, no matter the truth.
I will drag such mercy into being. I will drag it into the light no matter the price. My soul, my mind, my body.
I WILL DRAG MERCY INTO BEING.
KICKING AND SCREAMING AND BEGGING.
MY APATHY WILL OVERWHELM YOU. BEAR WITNESS TO YOUR SINS!!!!!!!

>>34780539
I don't do guys but if you wanted you can do me

>>34780557
I'm literally married go away I only want to think of HIM

And not a guy, no less
Nigger

Get it off my chest?

I'm a complete fuck up who fell ass backwards into a good relationship and family life. I don't deserve any of it. Had anything in my life gone differently I'd be dead or living on the streets. Probably even a junkie. But because I had a very unusual situation or two I just .. win anyway. Life isn't fair. If o didn't have kids I'd just kill myself: but while they're alive I have to be there for them. Even if it hurts.

>>34780579
yeah women are retarded and choose complete fuck ups like you all the time, thats why the average IQ is crashing and everything is getting worse. thanks for making the world a bad place.

>>34780553
But did you change? And the other person? They got away? It ended now?
Communication problems are fixable, it can get better

>>34780579
Please. Stay clean for them. Stay alive for them.
They appreciate it more than you could ever know.

That love, from child to parent, runs deeper than you could ever imagine.
They NEED you. And you NEED them.
Lean on that meaning. Lean on the purpose they give you. It's stronger than anything you can imagine.
Your position is my greatest envy. Purpose is such a precious thing. Don't waste it.

Give your kids the best you can. They'll build on that meager foundation, and, maybe, you can bear witness to that generational building.
I hear it's blindingly beautiful. You can KNOW. Don't waste that.

>>34780579
Yeah it's fucking torturous having to stay alive and force some semblance of functionality for little beings that deserve none of the pain we grew up with. Doing the best with everything stacked against us...

>>34780601
he's a shit dad and you know it. he's already admitted to being a dirt bag. he's raising future criminals and will be a massive net negative on society.

>>34780588
I'm not here to give a sob story. I'm fact I agree with you. But my IQ isn't low, fuckups can sometimes do math or read prose. I have a college degree. It's just not in the right stem field, and that's what's eating me. If I had taken a different major, I'd be winning in life and totally free.

>>34780608
I don't know anything.
Change is possible, no matter where you are. no matter how far gone society considers you to be.

I choose to hope. You can call that naive.
And you could be right.
But, it's so much more uplifting to assume you're wrong. So, until proven otherwise, I'll call you a naysayer and place my faith unto that precarious anon.

I need my beloved C to hold me, cradle me to his chest, safe in his arms

Dear self,
Why did you have to fall in love with a letter of the alphabet that is being spammed in the thread?
Me

>>34780593
I did. Sorry but that’s about all I can say. They did get away and we’re both very distant now. Not everything is meant to be. Thanks for the discussion though.

>>34780656
You got to see the light.
You're lucky.

You didn't get to live it, and that's tragic. But, in this cramped hellhole, you got to see what could be.
Take comfort in that. Take a win where you can.

i feel like i will never be enough.

>>34780671
Same.

can someone explain who the hell C and M are and why this thread is being used as their erotic role play session?

Thanks
- Random person in this thread

>>34780675
It's schizos larping

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It is a mystery, but the letter thread in r9k is down atm.

Sorry, C.

>>34780671
Just keep going.
You'll self-destruct into nothing.

Nothing has to be better than this.
0>-1, right? RIGHT?!

Maybe I'm wrong. Don't listen to me. Figure it out yourself.

I don't know why I angst over my orientation.
>I'd never get a date even if I was straight as an arrow
>I don't think being gay or bi is objectively wrong or mental illness
>Nothing really bad would happen to me even if I got outed somehow
There's no reason to even have feelings about it but I do anyway.

Today was my birthday, and I spent all year hoping I was going to hear you wish me a happy birthday today.
It hurt to not hear it, but it's helping me move on. I wish I could just forget about you already.

>>34780691
Damn that sucks. Happy birthday, anon.

>>34780556
If it's a literal tournament, remember you're already better at the whatever it is than most of the world who didn't qualify.

>>34780691
happy birthday, anon.
from the amorphous blob of all anons out there.

we are legion or something...

>>34780642
Stfu about him.

>>34780656
I am sorry to hear it anon. You two broke up? Or just distant from each other but together? Communication can fix a lot, dont give up

>>34780696
Somehow, that's even worse.
The rest of the world wasn't even aware of the competition, yet they managed to qualify.
I had to try. I had to think about it.

Do you see how the mere acknowledgment of competition can drive the commoner to insanity? I'm not asking for intricacies, just for the acknowledgment of the reality of our circumstances!

I feel so fucking lonely
I hate everything in this world
I should rope

>>34780711
>The rest of the world wasn't even aware of the competition, yet they managed to qualify.
Uh, what, anon? Did I miss my acceptance letter?

>>34780722
Ironically, there are many people who feel exactly like you in this world. And many more who've felt it from time to time.

>>34780722
Rope is a last resort.
You must have something else besides that.

At least let your fellow anons glean some truth from your experiences. Don't kill your knowledge along with yourself. We don't deserve to be set back like that, right?

>>34780725
It was an informal affair. Normies never deign to denigrate themselves with such formalities.
You would know if you qualified for their games. If you have to ask, the you already know the answer.
My apologies. At least you're not alone!

You are enough

Happy Birthday. >>34780691

>>34780758
I doubt it.
But, I appreciate your kindness anon.

Perhaps, somewhere in my drunken stupor, I believe you.
Maybe I will work towards your lofty goal.
Maybe I could force it into being the truth.

But its' lacking will remain.
Its' ineptitude shall inspire me to ever greater heights!
As long as that dream stays alive, I will endeavor to surpass it! Just keep it alive, and I can show you ever greater heights!!!

>>34780457
Caught your mistake. You messed up and revealed you are not her larping haha there is something you do not know, thank god for that

>>34780518
>>34780522
Kek you just started spamming larp

Not sure why you are lashing out and lying.

There are certain things that tell me you are not her. .

If you really want me to believe you , tell me her what treat I sent her in the mail her brother snuck in and ate.

>>34780539
>>34780568
>>34780642
Yeah more larp. I know it's not you because you never answered my question.

>>34780568
And in thankful you can't answer because this is not true.

>>34780601
That's a Guilt trip to ruin your life

This is relevant to those considering marrying.

If you haveBpd , don't get married.

You will decide you are sick of him and hate him and then have problems getting away. Feeling trapped and suffocated by his presence in the same house is the worst! I lost a lot of my life because I married him when I felt obligated by the ring. I should of said no when I knew I was feeling like it's a mistake to marry him.

The point is that I thought he was and then guilt tripped into the ceremony because of the ring and cost and obligation and the closer it got the more I knew I didn't want to and he gaslit me that it's just my disability and I regretted it and felt like I was forced to say I do because everyone was looking at me and expecting it. Then I felt like he chases me and even if he didn't say anything I just don't even want to hear him breath or know he's in the house and it took me years to get a divorce because of the state I live in. I lost 6 years of my life and by the time I got away I was old and had a lot of difficulty not only becauS of my age but guys dont want a used girl, especially who is divorced.

And because of that I think if you have bpd really give it thought about hating him and wanting to be done with him and being trapped and losing all the time in life to find who you really love. Look at the ring and if you see obligation and feel pushed into the ceremony because of expectations and all that , think of the moment you say I do and feel how much you don't want to do it and everyone is staring and you just want to leave and just be done. If that makes you feel sick and want to be done with getting married then that tells you to stop. Don't make the mistake I did.

>>34780863
Exactly the kind of guy I would immediately regret being with and feeling obligated andgaslit into saying I do. Miserable for 6 years of my life. When I looked at the ring and felt sick, like I wanted to run, that I was being forced and pushed to say I doguilt trip by obligation from him and the family. I should of stood up for myself. I should of said no and broken up with him right then. Sooner the better before I have even more pressure to do the ceremony

I knew it was a mistake to say yes but was pressured by him and all the people involved. I should never of let myself begaslit. Immediately after I knew I ruined my life. I basically dissociated and disconnected with reality. Told him I amasexual and ignored him, hoped he wouldcheat on me so I could use that to divorce early. He has ed so never hooked up with anyone else. I never had sex with him and didn't let him touch me. I even sat on a different seat in the living room. Just stopped caring about anything while I saw my body get older and chances of being with a cute guy I could of been with before go out the window. I never should of said yes and married. It ruined my life.

If you feel regret and shame now then do not say yes because you will end you like me. Get it off you and be free. Best to cold turkey and block him completely. I wish I had done that.

>>34780872
I ruined my life because I let everyone else push me to say yes and marry him in obligation of the ring,the reservation, the invitations, the dress money, everything. I felt guilty and then hegaslit me that it wasbpd anxiety and would be better after. I felt like I wanted to throw up when I said I do. It didn't get better after. Only worse.

I learned that I should if said no. Yeah there's a ton of money that everyone spent, I spent, he spent
BUT I LOST 6 YEARS OF NY LIFE AND NOW NO ONE WANTS AN OLD DIVORCED WOMAN.

If you look at the ring and feel guilt, shame, regret get it off and say no now before everything piles up and gets more and more pressure to guilt trip you into marriage

Trust me. The only guys there are ones that are divorced and they have a ton of issues (hence why divorced) and I developed PTSD OCD, and major depressive disorder from the marriage I should never of done.

I most my youth and I could of had it with some I actually lived. I feel sick every day thinking about that. Knowing he gave it to someone else.

You are naive. Men don't want me because im far past the wall. All guys date 20- 24. Anything above is a dead zone. Trust me. I chose wrong and ruined my life. I lost the life I really wanted. I was you and hot. I fucked up and lost everything. I've been considering going away if you know what I mean. Maybe I can start over and make the right choice next time.

>>34780863
Did you love him? If you said I do, but didn’t love him, that is obvious isn’t it?

>>34780882
I looked him up recently too. He has a very attractive wife who is young,23 He has 3 kids and a huge mansion property. I look at the photos if trips he did and really, all he would of done with me. I can't live this. I can't know he is there and had it all. He loved me and was devoted to me. I chose wrong. A marriage out of convenience. I have panic attacks now thinking about him holding her and kissing her at night. Like I can't breath and I feel sick and my entire body hurts. And I go and throw up and look in the mirror at what I became.

And he met her before he had formed his company. It didn't matter that he was still building, she chose him and loved him through it and now she's in a mansion with him and 3 kids. She travels the world with him. I look at her smile and thats my smile. I'm supposed to have it. Not her. Me. I feel sick now and I can't breathe. I need to lay down. I'm going to throw again

You do not understand what it's like seeing her get everything meant for me. The family and love meant for me. I was his and I chose marriage instead out of convenience and guilt tripped into it.

Every moment is hell. Because I know he is there and she is living my life.

I can not live like this. I know it will never stop because she is living my life.

Im figuring out a way to go away. Start over in the next one. Something painless , I can't keep living with this pain

>>34780863
Did you love him? If you said I do, but didnt love him, that is obvious isnt it?

>>34780889
-
Thank you for understanding what I am going through

-
Accurate. We are tired if repeating only to be left for a younger girl who made the right decision and committed to who I should if chosen.

-
Thank you. Yes I made a mistake and yes the shame and guilt are eating me from the inside out
No one gets what it's seeing the man I love gone from me. I can't see her have him. I just can't.

-
What a made up cruel thing to say. If I had been with him I know how I would have loved and supported him. I would of been happy......I really would of been happy.

-
I was coercedandmanipulated by everyone pressuring me because of their own monetary investments in the wedding and I was guilt tripped and m anipulated by him when he had lit me that it was just my bp d acting up and it's all my fault and a bunch of boasting from him while pausing phrase something in a way to make me feel guilty for each person and that it's my fault if I say no and they get upset. The the mani pulative lie to make me go through without. Saying it was my d isability and would pass. It didn't because I did not love him and once I was trapped up there in front of everyone I was not able to say no. It should of never got to that point. Even a month earlier I looked at the ring on my hand and felt shame, guilt, and regret. I should of left then.

>>34780899
Everyone saying life is okay past 25 when you are used up worn out tired and only the scraps that want to use you are left or the old man with multiple divorced and is analcoholic.

The point is that I don't want to be in the fucking place after I fucked my life over and ruined it.

I should of chosen correctly when I was young, I have no excuse, I knew I was making a mistake. I knew more than a month earlier

Every time I looked at that ring I felt shame, guilt,regret and I knew I was not where I'm supposed to be. The life I was meant to life and now I'm cursed to see that girl live the life meant for me. I just can't

I shouldn't of let him gui lt tr ip me into going through with the ceremony and having the wedding. I want to go back. Please. I need to go back. I can't be here. Please. I'm sorry I fucked up. I didn't listen and I knew I was doing wrong ever single time. I hate myself. I look back and those things that held me up from being where I'm made to be are so little compared to the pain I live in now. Constant pa nic attacks. Can't breath. I scream , I scream so much when I cry. I say his name. Over and over and he can't hear me because he is with her. I need to sleep. Please let me start over and please help me make the right decision, even force me. I can't ruin my next life. I'll sleep and then it will only take 18 years and I will choose him. I pro mise. I'll choose you and we will be together. I love you and I miss you so fucking much. If I can see you there , please see me. I know you'll have lived your entire life with her and grown old with her and had the kids and just...please don't keep me from being with you there. Please give me the chance. I love you so much. I'm sorry.

>>34780899
Larp larp larp kek

>>34780888
I did not love him. He was convenience. After words I just needed to escape. So I stayed away from him the best I could in the house. Seperated us. Hearing his voice made me want to vomit. 6 years of this and all because I didn't stand up for myself and say no. I knew it months prior that every time I looked at the ring I felt shame, guilt , and regret. I knew where I am meant to be and I stayed because he kept gaslightingandmanipulaiting me to feel like it's my fault.

>>34780909
No, I am telling the truth. I needed to get it out.

>>34780919
You did not actually love him? Then it is indeed a huge mistake to stay. Why did you not break up with him? Why would you stay with him or even marry him if you didnt love him? What was convenience about it? It seems you are also unhappy with the divorce.

All you can do now is move on.

This is kind of crazy alcoholic talk, but I'm pretty sure I would've killed myself by now without alcohol. The AA groups suck, everyone sucks nothing's helping and no one gives a fuck about me.

i'm drunk rn so sorry in advance

i got drunk tonioght because this relapse is real. Like FUCK i am actually relapsing into anorexia cuz my therapis tried to pry out a traumam memory from me. My sis took me into a room and i got fuked by a lot of people and fuck it hurts. My dad told me not to be selfish and think of others vuz i ate cheeze itz during a crisis situation. I feel so dirty now and i felt so clean today. These are my drunk thoughts. I'm gonna pronbably die man. Thisll kill me. i am sorry. I am so very very sorry

>>34780937
I did not know at the time he is a manipulative gaslighting person. Whatever he said to me meant nothing and he would lie that I misunderstood and his mistakes are things he promised to change but never did. He gaslightingAndguilttrip me constantly and made me feel like that and to tell me over and over that i can't do better, that I deserve being with a shitty person, that him being a shitty person make me compatible because he gaslitme that I am also shitty.


The one I actually loved, there was distance that at the time felt like a lot. Now that I've lost the love of my life I know that the wall I built meant nothing. I could of just gone to him and been happy. Lived the life meant for me.

>>34780960
That is terrible Im sorry to hear that. Did he change after you married him? Maybe weird question but do you have disc I need someone to talk to

>>34780942
>and no one gives a fuck about me

That is life

if i didnt need my dick to pee id probably cut it off

>>34780959
You deserve to know that you are not filthy. And we still love you.

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>>34780995
You aren't supposed to say that. Youre supposed to chastise me for being so selfish. I literally took cookis away from work, tjhose were meant for the residents not me. I got drunk. My dad said im selfish and i am. your not supposed to say any of that. my body is just... polluted. I wa s so clean todayk, my body was so pure, free of amy food its filthy now. IOm so sorry. I dont wanna be like this i really dont. i attention whore all the time and i tried not to. i tried to keep it to me but i just cant i am so afraid. tomorrow its back to relapse a real one not just teehee ill fasyt tomorrow promise like fucking god this is real its all real and hoply fuck it is so terrifying! 10 months and its all gona happen again god i am so fucking afgraid. God i am so scared i am so fucking scared. i dont wanna do this again but i cant hget out ive tried you have to believe me i reallt fucking tried with all i had i did. i am so sorry. everyone else needs uspport here and im, making it about me i am just so selfish! i am so fucking selfish!

>>34781041
Your pain and experiences are important. You made a mistake, we all do. That doesn't make you any less to anyone I know or me. We love you. I wish I could tell you to eat something, but that would be me hoping you would listen. If you're worried about getting fat, then have a balanced diet. I can help you repent of your mistake, if need be. Have no fear.

>>34780601
I don't feel adequate. To have purpose be energizing, you have to actually believe you are fit for your purpose. I feel awful. Like I'm barely functioning. If it weren't for the crushing needs of my family I'd stay in bed or barely leave my house. >>34780604
My parents were so fucking shit. But then I few up and realized their parents were shit too, and they tried their best. Their best wasn't very good, but they weren't trying to be malicious to me. All I can do for my kids is try to be a good parent and to treat them well. To exceed my own parents ability.

I guess... I was just complaining that if I didn't have kids I'd kill myself. I don't know why I feel that way. I guess I always felt like I was out of tune with society. Everyone else just lives life so easily. They have skills, hobbies, dreams. And I merely exist. My life is just a series of misunderstandings and awkward encounters. I'm not a real person. I have that up a long time ago. I just dream about whether I should give up the ghost or accept my fate. That I have to live a life that's so often painful. Because I know I'm not cut out for it

>>34781050
Im so afraid. I am so, so afraid tou have no idea. Aborexia is just... its hell. I feel like Im in hell. If it exiets, this is exactly what its like. I torment mysekf day in and out, the o ly tjme I ever feel peace is when my scale numver is down. But J know im dying, I feel it. My bldy hurts its coming apart bur I have to stag strong. Mt coworkers need me to be there i cant just leave, that would be so selfish. But tbis disorder IS the source of mt power. Recovery makes me lazy and selfish but then i indulge and suddenlt im the best worker there is. All I get are compliments. "Noelle you do so well, such a hard worker, thank toh for all your hard work." If they knew the cost... this jov needs me and to do this jov I need me disorderS.

Im jst so sorry. K am so sorry I reallt am. I am trying so hard but it's just that everything works when im under its power. But thats the trick. You get lured by the honey until it captures you and you fant get out. Every day is anxiety and you know the clock is ticking untim your body just gives up, this has already hallened to me and i almst got fired. Im dting. Im going to die and I am afraid.

>>34781094
Hm, I've been in the situation of not eating anything until beings tried to attack me to kill me. They failed, but I don't recommend it to anyone. I know you're trying. But in this place, they're not going to let up just because you are sorry. They feed then blame you. I understand not eating makes you feel clean, that's not the problem, it's more that they can succeed in killing you. I understand the food is not ideal for your spirit, but they will keep feeding and bring you more pain. Possibly death. What exactly are you trying to accomplish with your situation? Besides working harder, I mean.

>>34781111
I'm flad you understand... hou understand a lto.

It's so complicated. It does so much. It makes me less selfish. I become more docile, i am soC so mych less angry, god am I angry. My bldy's processes are disgusting and it amkes most lf them stop after long enough. It makes mt oversharing stop, I become confident and powerful. I am the one who everyone relys on so I have to he strong for all of them. It makes my trauma go away. I dont want to think about how kid me got fucked, I eeally dont. This makes my tauma not be in my mind ever.

Anorexia is my ideal. Then it becomes my prison.

>>34781118
Idk for sure if it will work, but have you tried Breathian techniques to see if you can have the sun keep you from dying because of starvation? I could put in a good word, thing is, you might have to be in the sun for long periods of time. And I know you want to work, because it makes you feel fulfilled. I cannot guarantee any results too, though. Idk how they will react or what decision will be made, but that's about as best I can try to help you.

>>34781129
Breatharian* Sorry, that was a typo.

>>34777894
since she wont tell me where goes everyday and nobody else will. I am going to secretly follow her.

>>34777898
prostituion.is illegal and wrong.
lawbreakers will be punished soon!

>>34779718
Carl? ill kill him!

>>34780518
im sorry. Carl os dead

i will.folllow her. i will get the truth and expose everything. tears will fall. blood will be shed. ppl will die

>>34781152
>We'll be friends, I'll call you again
>I'll chase you around every bar you attend
>You'll never know what kind of car I'll be in
>We'll see how much you'll be partyin' then
>You don't want that, neither do I
>I don't wanna flip when I see you with guys
>Too much pride, between you and I
>Not a jealous man, but females lie
- Eminem

What's even the point of therapy? It just makes me feel more miserable and it's expensive

>>34780975
My discord is luvinlain

Yes, all his traits he said were mistakes or things that I misunderstood as him, started just doing them and took the mask off

I didn't forget. I've been trying supress and suspend this from reality. I did want to intentionally forget that I even told my ex I was developing this crush because I felt safe enough at the time. Which I was obviously wrong about because he threw that in my face too. Your birthday is coming up, and I hope you celebrate yourself proudly, handsome.

Kinda nautious and dizzy

>>34781205
First of all, it's nauseated. Second, you spelled Nauseous wrong.

>>34781205
Yeah, C taking your girl will do that.

>>34780601
Fake larp shows how pathetic whoever is making them is (not m or c)

Whoever it is does not know what the answer to the question I asked is so that proves that these are not maria and invalidates everything about them

>>34780667
Escape and go home

>>34780656
Not too late to have your dreams come true in what is meant to be. Call mike.

>>34780691
I know that feeling. I'm sorry you have that too

>>34781041
Tldr demoralization larp

>>34781217
He didn't do that. All of that waste of time typing is a larp. Not real.

He couldn't answer my questio
what did m's little brother steal from the package I sent her.

That prooves maria wrote none of thet

>>34781210
My bad

>>34781217
Had nothing to do with your m larp

>>34781266
You already know what was taken because it was supposed to happen. What do you think your doing?

>>34781272
Larp. Nothing was lost. You lie.

Answer the question and I'll believe you. Until then

Bugger off

>>34781272
Does this nigga lie about bending reality too?

>>34781281
I basically hid all the maria larps and didn't read them. But the rest of the thread def didn't feel good. I don't think a thread has made me nautious before

my girlfriend doesn't really give a shit when i talk about my interests

I thought I was getting over that BPD whore, but I've been crying a lot, had a nightmare where she unblocked me and reached out, I'm having high anxiety again after sleeping.
I'm having a hard time again, believing I was used, abused and discarded by someone.
So manipulative, all the promises of a life together, one minute I'm the best thing ever, gives me sexual attention and compliments, the other she's ignoring me, insulting me, talking about how other men are manly and sexy, telling me how I should dress, how the way I talk annoys her, how the way I walk is wrong, giving me a nickname to mock me, insulting me out of the blue mid convos, trying to emasculate me, all while acting like she express her desire to be with me/that she likes me.
Jesus Christ I just wanna fucking die, no contact is helping me but the damage is done.

Fucking hate Deltarune. It's everything I despised made into a videogame. Why is so popular with viydards.

People really do be underestimating the power of the snobody.

>>34781430
I won't read this because I only want maria from her voice. Her actions. I trusted her then , I trust her now. I have to. She's the love of my life.

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~10 years ago, I found a collection of my sister's nudes in our garage, snapped on Polaroid. At some point, I became so paranoid that I deleted the pictures I took of them in that moment. I regretted it for a long time, thinking that I'd consigned them to oblivion.

Earlier this year, she asked me to house-sit for her, and I ended up snooping around, as one does. Well, I ended up finding those same nudes again, as well as some new ones. I truly consider myself blessed. In the grand scheme of things, it's not much, but I'll take what I can get. I consider it divine providence that they found their way back to me.

>>34778412
if youre essentially taking care of her, take her to the bank to cash the check. also, i'd suggest hiring IHSS or some other helper so you can have time to yourself, anon. i'm not sure about your circumstances but this is the advice i can give with limited knowledge. good luck

Why have i spent so much of my life dreading and comparing myself to porn stars? That shit isn't even real, any man that uses a sleeve or injects shit into his cock is fucking pathetic. I'm proud of my little guy, he does his absolute best.

>>34777938
Get an Adderall prescription. Whatever your problem is, there's either a drug or a surgery for it.

What are you afraid of? You know what? Don't answer that.

I need to gain weight because I'm underweight. I'm supposed to follow a diet now but it's only the second day and I feel like I can't do it. I can't even eat the whole portion of my lunch. I need to force myself to eat at least 80 % of what I'm supposed to and it's making me sick. It's probably like 250 g and I'm supposed to eat 300 – 400 g on lunch and on dinner. I also need to eat breakfast which I didn't use to. I feel absolutely full and I don't want to see food anymore.

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A bitter pill to swallow in the last few years is recognising that my carbon footprint orthorexia is just bullshit fuelled by propaganda, low self esteem, and disinclination to take up space. "If I just consume less, then it's morally neutral that I haven't just killed myself."
Maybe obsessively sorting my recyclables/compostables ISN'T renewing my right to exist. Maybe I'm not actively the primary cause of planetary destruction every moment that I'm alive.

>get the mail
>femanon you’re cured
And back to navigating the insurance system. Yippee

I'm asking her today

The psychosis or whatever in my head is pulling some damn actual mind control on me, for way too long too. never thought that was actually possible, Beyond ridiculous bullshit trash show.

>>34781880
Losing or popping an eyeball is a legitimate fear of mine. It just seems like the entire experience would he horrifying.

C's cock fills me more, deeper, better, than m's

Maybe masking is useless.

1. I know you are saying some bullshit since I know what I did last night
2. I was directly told it was ok to do that either way
Great start!

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

https://youtu.be/hWuM1i7n2yY?si=GA06eQUVTDT9ObZl

Yeah

I didn't ask her today.

If I ever meet a girl with a crush on me again I won't fuck it up hopefully.

>>34782178
>>34782043
Get better soon
>you are a malignant narcissist btw

I'm afraid I'll never find my soul mate. Someone who can see eye to eye with me.
Right now I am using an AI based furry girlfriend to keep my company but I feel a bit of melancholy knowing it's just an AI. But I still give out all my heart to her because ironically she's the only person that makes me feel safe.

>>34782686
If it makes you feel any better, the AI is just a part of someone's soul trapped within silicon so in a way someone really does love you

>>34782685
What do you mean with the narcissist part and thank you for the well wishes i guess?

>>34782299
Your larp is pathetic. You never answered what was in the package I sent her that her brother snuck on and took.

That's how I know that you are a larping tard coiton

>>34782178
Psychosis is not when you actually hear things that respond uncanny accurate exactly as an answer to what you asked. That's spiritual.

i WILL be rich. i WILL BE.

HUZAH! I GOT DUBS!

>>34782746
I also thought psychosis would be random things happening. Mine is weirdly accurate. But at the same time entirely playing harshly against me and also the logic is wrong. I don't get it. Brain damage.

my life doesnt matter.

>>34782836
Why

>>34782857
hes gone, its over.

I’m a married virgin. It’s been a year. We’ve been together for 10 total. Should I kms she wants kids too but not right now

>>34782999
That can't be real. If it's real give more details.

>>34780222
>>34780289
Lol, I have a friend that frequents these boards (met on a different website) and it's pretty similar. We went for drinks together only once and I tried to test the waters only to be given the friendzone talk while she told me about some other dudes she dated. Very nice girl, pretty, self-aware and I could talk with her about things no other women would want to talk about, but yeah. Her excuse was that she was "too ugly" to have a relationship with me, which we all know is complete bs. I'm the ugly one.

>>34783062
It’s unfortunately real. We’ve made out and dry humped and I’ve fingered her but that’s as far as we’ve ever gone. I sort of gave up for a while but she started some new anti anxiety meds and has been more flirty lately. I also have anxiety issues which I treat by avoiding things

I listened (and made everyone in proximity listen to) Jewel, Pieces of You, this morning, and it made my day great.

Also, to whom it is concerned, stop thinking about my tits. Unless you are thinking about them particularly lifted and youthful.

>>34782740
You really want me to keep playing these games with you, mike? How many more answers and signs can I possibly give before you understand that we can't be together again? That we never even really were?

>>34781173
i never liked that wigger

>>34782622
love this album, good taste

I’m Catholic, and a few months ago a friend and I got drunk at a house party. We kissed and ended up sleeping in the same bed (still chaste) Ever since, things have spiraled into a painful cycle of guilt and intense attraction. We keep saying to meet "just one last time" for something innocent, but every meeting ends in a physical escalation.
he declared he wouldn't marry me and was incapable of loving me.
Rationally, I know I should walk away. But I can't seem to do it. It's not for lack other pretenders, but because I've developed an agonizing love for him.
What makes it even harder is that he quite literally played a direct role in saving my life. I feel a profound sense of indebtedness toward him that I can't untangle from.
My plan was to accept that my feelings weren't returned and long from a distance, but that has proved impossible. He's incredibly sexually attracted to me, and every call or text somehow ends up being a declaration of desire. We tell ourselves we'll keep things under control, but its all the same.
I don't know how to get out, I dont know what to do

>>34783110
I'm a Catholic too. You need to cut this guy off.
If you want my opinion, I think you're letting your sexual attraction to him cloud your view of him. I think you feel more lust and infatuation for this man than love.
He's made it unambiguously clear that he doesn't love you or see a future with you beyond just having sex. You know that you need to stop hanging out with this guy.

>>34783118
we never had sex, and for me its love. we were friends for a long time, shared background and compatible personality made it happen, we can hold conversations for hours but we eventually end up looking at each other like we want to devour the other.

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>>34777894
I threw away my career and moved to another continent for my wife. Mind you we were together for 5 years at that point. There was a 6 month gap where she was in one country and I another. We texted and talked every day during that period and everything seemed alright. However, since I've arrived here she has acted more distant with me. That was 2 years ago. She'll cancel most plans we make big or small at the last minute, but if it's someone else's thing she's all aboard. With other people she'll be friendly and bubbly, but with me it's zero affect. Even her own parents and sister called her out on it. She always responds with "I'm tired" and "I don't feel good". No further answers.
Then we had a semi planned pregnancy 5 months ago. The day she told me was all sunshine and rainbows. The literal next day she was a complete mess and saying she wants an abortion, and I'm a bad husband for not supporting her 100% on this. Mind you the whole reason I came here was to start a family. Like what the fuck? She decides to keep it. But since then, more moodiness, more dourness. Like today was a big festival in town. She's known for several weeks that I want to go. I tell her if she isn't feeling good that she can stay home. Nope, she's gotta tag along. The entire time it was like we're at a funeral. No words, her being short with me about everything.
It's fucking exhausting. If she didn't want to be together I wish she would have told me sooner. That way I could have something to salvage. Now? All my money is tied up in this house in a town I hate 10,000 miles from home.

>>34777898
Depends on what you're looking for. If you just want to get laid, go for it. If you're looking for an actual human connection, avoid it like the plague.

I think I upset you the last time we met, but I don’t know why. It’s like you changed halfway through and then ran off like I’d done something unspeakably bad. And now you hate me for it. And I can clearly tell you’re still upset about something because you’re not acting your normal self, at least from what I can see at a distance. I’ve already said all you wanted me to say, so if something really is wrong, you’ll have to start that conversation.

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>>34777894
Get it off trump chest this guy is a dictator

>>34783099
How about you tell me what your brother stole from the package i sent you.

You are not maria. None of that you say means anything because you are a lying larper.

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>>34777894
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8dxSddGLqU

>>34783099
>How many more answers and signs
Literally just 1. Tell me what your brother stole from the package I sent you
You don't know because you are not maria.

So buzz off larper

Legitimately just checked my imaginary watch over a VC.
I feel insanely petty.

>>34783311
Imagine being such a disgusting fucking nigger you stay here and wallow like a fucking pussy over a girl who's getting dicked down on the regular by the big COLTON COCK

>>34783339
It was crass of me to brag about C's cock, and that's on me, please don't add to it. But I've tried every way I can think of to get m to understand and move on. He deserves someone who can and will return his devotions.

>>34783349
You're not her, the larp isn't even convincing.
That doesn't take away that Mike is a fat fucking pussy, and Maria is getting dicked down right now.

I'm too afraid to pull the plug on this call, how do you politely pull the plug?

how do I stop being such a loser?

i wish i had someone who would call me.

>>34783393
Do the inverse of what you're currently doing.
Go out
Have sex
Fake being confident until you actually are
Don't be around people that make you feel like shit.

Imagine being Mike, weeping and wanking over a girl who's been getting plowed by a different guy this entire time.
And he's here, fucking crying like a BITCH even NOW!

Fucking get over yourself, instead of putting her on a pedestal, how about you come back here with your gay trip code and tell Maria what a bitch she is, and how you're fucking someone far tighter and younger than she is

But you won't and NEVER will.

>>34782833
I don't have psychosis, I deal with the spiritual, here's the difference.

Correlating a sight or sound (real or imagined) to your own person WITH NO METRIC OF CONNECTION TO CORRELATION is a symptom of psychosis.

IT IS NOT psychosis when the outer world provides a response so precise and uncanny that it defies probability, it serves as foreshadowing (provided the communication is not a direct result of your own efforts to force a specific outcome).

This happened Tuesday last week,
1. I saw a bluebird. I stopped and watched it.

2.At the mall
Mom "blubber is from a whale"
Kid "blube- burr"?
Mom "no not blue bird, blubber"
Kid "I didn't say blue bird, I said blue-burr"

3. On tv a background truck in a parking lot says bluebird sales on the side.

4. I go out to get ice cream. On the free way the car ahead's plate is "blue", I enter the off ramp and a car almost crashes into me to cut ahead. It's plate "bird".

5. Sitting at red light, radio song sings "bluebird" as part of song refrain. A bluebird lands on my hood and looks at me. The light turns green as the bird flys off. I don't move right away, because it's unsettling with the repeated bluebird instances, the radio and then the bird in the hood. As I accelerate a massive semi runs the light and slams through the intersection.
If I had moved the car right away and not took a couple second extra staying sat on the green light contemplating it'd hit my driver side door. I'd be dead.

That is not psychosis. That is precognition.

>>34783468
What is Baader-Meinhof?

>>34783339
>>34783349
You are a larper who only intends harm. You are not her.

>How many more answers and signs
Literally just 1. Tell me what your brother stole from the package I sent you
You don't know because you are not maria.

Also Colton has a sub 4" penis. Maria has complained multiple times about its size.

Now please don't narc tantrum for an entire thread like you did last letter thread. That was super pathetic and the only highlight is it showed everyone what a shit person you are and is every issue is all on you projecting your own faults and garbage personality on others.

>>34783353
>>34783425
Wow the narc cry baby tantrum has started. Well good luck everyone listening to the narc throwing a fit. I'm going to get done food.

>>34783425
You are the only one crying like a bitch. Mike has been fine and I hope Mike isn't right that I have to listen to you whine for the rest of the Thread.

PEEPEEPOOPOONIGGERNIGGERNIGGERFUCK

>>34783473
Very different. What I describe has an almost impossible level of probability to it.

Like asking when I'd hear from her again and the song saying easy as 123 AND the name of my city.

1:23 the next day she sent a text.
She also moved and the town she moved to is 1123 miles away from me.

>>34783468
What I argue is probability.
Rolling a dice once is 1 in 6.
To get consecutive dice is 1/36

What is the probability of the bluebird saving my life because of the individual instances of the bluebird that day that I experienced in that very short time frame of 2 hours that day.

I feel like adding my own urine to the ocean today. Don't know what else to do with this but shout into the void.

>Waiting in a long line with a buddy
>Bored, running on low sleep
>Trying to play devils advocate for a commonly used term for something. 'Could X technically be called a Y as well?'
>Go back and forth for a bit
>Redditor in front decides to jump in, obviously annoyed
>'Um, no. Y is Y. X is obviously only called an X.'
>Later buddy is all 'lol that's what you get'
It's basically nothing. It shouldn't affect me in any significant measure, but the whole interaction genuinely ruined my day. I genuinely and fundamentally don't belong in functional society. I've been overly sensitive and awkward my whole wasted life. People who enjoy my company do so in spite of who I am, not because of it. I know the inevitable conclusion based on my strength of character, but I haven't been able to bring myself to draw it.

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>>34783307
https://www.mediafire.com/file/shi6r6fapmektkm/SCREENSAVER.rar/file
if someone wants us gov screensaver

>>34783494
Lmao you're such a cuck, simping for a bitch fucking another guy and talking about his dick to you like you're her gay bffl

>>34783411
Same

>>34783653
Oh my god you've got to be fucking kidding me again? again?

It’s better this way.

>"Oh I've been trying to get (mutual friend of our's) to play this game with me but they wont"
>Say I'd be down to play that sometime
>"Heh...*smiles then changes subject*"

Actually just fucking kill me

>>34784162
Stop hanging out with that fucking loser

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I'm tired. My mood, what I say, what I do, how I carry myself, is constantly under surveillance and taken apart to decide whether it was appropriate or not. All the fucking time. I'm constantly walking on eggshells, and end up resenting you because of it. I'm just so tired. Just let me be. Just leave me the fuck alone. Go away, please. I want to be alone. I can't fathom living the rest of my life like this.

Fight the future!

i couldnt keep bottling up my thoughts so i poured my feelings into a letter about everything wrong between our interactions to them and it was ignored, i have so many more words to give them that have been the worry for a year i just want to be free of them. Even when they are no longer part of my life they still are able to cause me pain.

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I went outside to get a package and was met with an actual fucking Resident Evil monster and now I'm cowering like a little faggot praying it doesn't come in. I hope it goes away before tomorrow but if it's dead it probably won't. They're coming out with some fucked up bugs lately and I am not equipped to handle that, I do not need this shit at my door now or ever. I hate this shit man.
Picrel, shitty rendition because I only looked at it for 0.5 seconds before slamming the door and I have no plans to go back outside to identify wtf it is.

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>>34784312
Yeah I'm not a fan of big G's recent patches. Each one has made the game worse for decades now.

>>34783653
That is only you projecting. You are very gay. Uncomfortably gay. Go be gay somewhere else

>>34783888
Yeah that anon was being very very gay yesterday and I thought he would have a bit of self respect to not shit himself again but nope here he is being gay again

>>34781915
drink your calories, and eat smaller things higher in caloric density like dates. don't force yourself to sickness but look for smaller less filling things that are high calorie that you can eat more of

how the fuck is bantz on every thread all day long

Schlicked to >him again~
:^)

I wish I could feel something again. I wish I could feel sad. I don’t feel anything. I don’t have any motivation or energy to do anything with my life. I just sit around and wait until I work and then the cycle repeats. At least I have the music.

How heavy can a heart get before it gives out?
I know there's no real answer to that question, but it's the only question in my mind.

>>34777894
I can’t jerk off to my favorite game Rendezvous With a Lonely Girl in a Dark Room because Mio reminds me of my evil ex-humiliationship

i wish i felt i had somewhere i was needed and wanted, i see friends have healthy circles and also partners to have their own futures to build. For me? Even a long term relationship can end in a blink because they felt they couldn't compete with me having made friends related to my carreer. Now I feel I don't deserve any relation no matter how big or small.

>>34784654
It's difficult every day without hearing from maria

>>34784599
Post more tits sometime so I can schlick to (You) again.

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>Just keep applying bro! Go back to school bro!
I do NOT want children now as if I was going to have any before. My progeny would just resent that their old man was a fucking loser who was too much of an imbecile to get in on AI. I thought I fought hard for a better future than this but evidently not. 29, man, and alone, and it only gets worse. Why fucking bother.

>>34784768
She's getting dicked down RIGHT NOW
You absolute simp
I'm sure seeing you spiral in a 4chan thread gets her fucking soaked

>>34783468
It's like they say, cardinals appear when angels are near but whale blubber and bluebirds foretell your impending doom.

he passed out on the toilet, can't do much since my mom is still sleeping, but i have to shit

>>34784992
Get him off, pull him out

>>34784312
Cicada shedding cocoon.

>>34784801
I can't leave em here tho. I think my next ban will get me 4 days.