To the best of my recollection I was sexually abused in some capacity by one (or more) of my female babysitters before the age of 10. I had been exposed to a very large amount of in person female nudity and sexual activity in that time frame and as such I have always considered such things normal. I know that this occurred because my parents forced me into therapy once I began discussing such activities with other kids my age. Needless to say these experiences severely fucked up my ability to have a healthy view of sexual activity. I am unsurprising bisexual and have always wondered if these experiences contributed to my sexual orientation. Kind of off topic but whatever. Sexual activity, with other people, is the SOLE activity which allows me to feel any kind of pleasure or release. I have tried numerous drugs, although I have stayed away from the really hard shit like meth and heroin, and have found all of them to be disappointing. They all have drawbacks. Video games and TV allow me to pass the time but I do not feel any kind of pleasure or true enjoyment from them. Masturbation somewhat helps although at best its a cheap knockoff and at worst makes me feel groggy. With actual sex though, I can fuck for hours, pass out, and wake up feeling like a million bucks. Monogamous relationships do not interest me at all, and this issue has caused problems with every person I have attempted to seriously date. I am constantly looking for new relationships and ways out of whatever relationship I am in. My current partner knows this and is trying to help me, but we'll see. I will randomly lose sexual interest in her for sometimes weeks at a time and then randomly think she's the prettiest woman I have ever met. I know I cant keep going on like this but I honestly have no idea what to do to fix it. Therapy sure has not helped.
larp
>>34780277Female gets sexually abused as a minor: Major outrage Male gets sexually abused as a minor: Larp. Yes obviously. This is clearly the natural order of things. Sexual abuse always occurs as male on female sexual abuse and even if it could happen the other way around it either didnt or would have 0 long standing psychological consequences if it did happen. True, it is clearly a larp.
>>34780241Welp you're already trying therapy, which is what I was going to suggest. Sorry that happened to you OP. Any chance your gf is okay with you having pity sex with her during those times you lose attraction?
>>34780241Im sorry this happened to you but at least you have a supporting and understanding girlfriend and ur kinda acting like an asshole towards her because of your trauma. You should try to forget the past and pray to christ.
>>34780291Me and my gf have roughly the same libidos, which is rare. the issue is that in many cases romantic sex is actually a rather large turnoff for me. While I don't mind it on rare occasions, it becomes mentally exhausting. It is primarily me who turns my gf down because I quite literally lose any desire to engage in sexual activity with her. She is also insanely vanilla for having a raging libido. >>34780294I wont cheat on her because I consider myself a better person than that, but we are trying to figure out ways of us both being comfortable whenever I will have one of those episodes. While she understands that this is a major issue for me, I'm not sure she understands how much of an issue it actually is. I wont do anything to harm her, but this also results in both of us getting pent up and upset.
