out of a relationship >Quiet loneliness, but somewhat content>Don't really enjoy much casual sex, content to go a year or so without sexMeet some>We click, I try to be slow because I'm not cooked in the brain and don't wanna rush into insane shit>Everything's seems more or less GucciRelationship starts to get more serious >I completely lose my marbles and become nervous and moody mess>Break it off before it gets even more seriousPost breakup>Months of agony and losing my marbles. Proper losing marbles, borderline mania (diagnosed bipolar - yes I take my meds)It's just this cycle every couple of years, I'm fucking over it. Maybe I should just pull my finger out and monk mode long term. I think I'm not cutout for relationships, at least not for 5~ years minimum. It's not even like I go looking for a relationship, I just incidentally meet people and things go well for a little, then I chimp out. Sometimes there have been fundamental incompatibilities and I was right to end it, sometimes there was no interpersonal problems outside of my own monkey brain wiggling out, but either way it genuinely makes me a fucking wreck for months. I'm just over this bollocks.Anyone else got rarted brain syndrome about intimacy? How'd you fix it, how's it going for you, and for those who gave up fixing it, how long you been monkmoding, and how's it going? I'm genuinely considering jumping ship and joining a monastery and barring the possibility of romance from myself looong term.
>>34781553you have an avoidant attachment style, this is your fundamental problem. its fixable, but it takes a lot of work
what are your parents like?
>>34781733Physically and emotionally abusive, and also emotionally negligent, when I was young.
>>34781779look into self parentingfor me, its asking the Jean-Luc Picard in my head what he thinks
>>34781791I'm peripherally aware of it, I'll look into it more. CBT and a small dose of Buddhism and Taoism helped me fix most of my life bollocks, but relationships continue to elude me.
>>34781836it's the same shit, just more complicated, because the other person also has a backstorytherapy shit is the 'theory', it'll only get you so farput it into practice, fail, then do it again until it works
