I am from a middle eastern country and most people here either marry early or get arrange marriage'd to someone they know through friends or family. Now, i am not very religious and don't want to marry early without atleast dating a little bit. But at the same time, i look at western countries where people date before marriage and what i see is divorce rate is super high, lots of kids growup fatherless, cheating is extremely common, women have like 20+ bodies at marriage age and it all has put me in a dilemma. I assume most of you here are westerns so i would like your perspective on my situation. what should i do?
>>34785282>divorce rate is super high, lots of kids growup fatherless, cheating is extremely common, women have like 20+ bodies at marriage ageThis is the cost of freedom and choice. In your situation you have neither. If this is fine with you then stay if not then just run far away.
>>34785282Me and my ex were each other's first and were set on marrying. Then one day she decided it was over and she left me. Now I'm feeling FOMO about missing out on the truest love and free sex, but if I still had her I would feel no FOMO about casual sex.Soon I'll be over her and I'll rack up a body count to match the women in my country.So, to answer your question, get a good woman and forget about hookup culture. It's better.
>>34785282It depends on what you expect in your relationship. I am from a western country, but right now live in a place where I see both arranged marriages and more western dating style relationships, and I know people who went with both. I think the marriages where people don’t spend much time together do have a lower divorce rate, but don’t necessarily seem happier about it. They’re often sexless and filled with mutual hatred, but they tolerate this because they can’t even consider divorce. On the other hand, I think a lot of the more modern-style people spend too much time looking for the perfect partner who doesn’t exist instead of working on cooperation and they end up unhappy too, but I think when it works out for them their relationships are more loving and romantic. This love and romance is usually their priority though, whereas the traditional people focus on things like money, satisfying their families, then pumping out 2-3 babies before they never touch each other again. So they both get what they want in a way depending on their priorities. The worst scenario is people like some of the other westerners I know who marry locals too quickly not knowing the expectations and shit then end up miserable and divorced like 80% of the time. When expectations don’t match, it always fails.
>>34785282>divorce rate is super high, lots of kids growup fatherless, cheating is extremely common, women have like 20+ bodies at marriage ageYeah meybe your local Imam isn't the best source for life in the West.
>>34785465>50% of marriages end in divorce (yes I know that's inflated by serial monogamists, still insane)>At least 20% of couples experience infidelity where I live, likely much higher due to underreporting>50% of women aged 25-29 where I live have 5 bodies or more, about 20% have 9 or moreIt's not that far off.
>>34785282>middle eastern countryThat narrows it down to a dozen or so cunts. From what I've seen, they are all very different.
>>34785477That you refer to a woman enjoying the at of love making as "bodies" indicates you are an asshole who deserves will die alone, unloved and unmourned.You need to start considering woman as people.
>>34785282i became a parent at 19 but from a western countryi would do it again. having kids young made me grow up fast and toss my baggage out the windows in a speedrun i never would have dreamed of if i was asked a year beforehand.but the concept of marriage is not about love. never is. never was. marriage is about stability, finances, security, land, exchanged goods. it's the least sexy thing on earth and don't convince yourself it isn't.it's sanctity is as pure as the catholic churches were in medieval times. people redefine marriage in their own terms, which usually doesn't notify the other person in the contract because often the first thing that goes out the window is effort.people go into cruise control with marriage and go very low investment on their partner.the kids were the glue that held our relationship better than anything. we had a shared mission.in short, it depends on what you want.do you want a virgin wife and/or kids, then get in a relationship when you are young.if you're willing to forego those things, then take your time looking. you can still find virgins but the pool shrinks.if you're in your early 20s you still have time to look around and try on new relationships. i dont know what the culture is like there though or the divorce rate.with a girlfriend, i suggest living with them because people you see what a person is really like in those circumstances. you have to get past lust stage too to see if they're loyal or devious.finding 'the one' is also bullshit. at best you have 75%-90% in common and grow to be more similar as you age. at that point, you just have to make sure they communicate problems openly before nefarious activities commence
>>34785477>50% of marriages end in divorceThats US only, because they still have the custom of marrying eytremely fast. THey have basically modified the "no sex without marriage" into "marriage within two years after first sex" , which is equally retarded. Ofc you get an insane divorce rate if people basically marry randoms.Also divorce is heavily incentivized, because they have the most fucked up divorce laws in the entire world, making divorce immensely profitable for the woman. >50% of women aged 25-29 where I live have 5 bodies or more, about 20% have 9 or moreSo the vast majority of women have not even a quarter as many partners, and even the top 20% outliers are barely at half of 20 partners. Women having 20+ bodies at marriage age is a plain lie. >At least 20% of couples experience infidelity where I live, likely much higher due to underreportingSee my argument abotu marrying all willy nilly. Also thats a fialr ylow rate, probably a lot lower than when people where forced to permanently shack up with arranged marriages and whatnot.
>>34785565Nice fanfiction, glad you took the time to write it.
>>34785598Not the US, although I went out and double checked and it's 40% here. So less than the US but still high. My point is that the number is correct but it's not a good measure because it includes NASCAR-Neil on his 7th wife.20% chance of being the victim of infidelity and that's "low"? Fucking hell.
>>34785565Females don't qualify as people. You know what dies alone, unloved and unmourned? A sex trafficked female infant.
>>34785667>20% chance of being the victim of infidelity and that's "low"?Humans aren't exactly built for monogamy, and lying cunts are unfortunately a reality of life. Thats actually a fairly low number yes
>>34785282All the bad things you mentioned about western countries are problems related to their culture, not dating itself.
>>34785282>Is marrying early without dating a good idea?It's a really shit idea.
>>34785721
You're forgetting the best upside to western dating: its not the middle east.
>>34785721Sorry about your sister
It's possible but both of you have to be honest to both each other and yourselves on if you find each other physically and mentally attractive which includes things like how much you're willing to persevere to keep the relationship stable.
>>34785282>divorce rate is super highThat's a good thing, not a bad thing. Low divorce rates mean lots of people trapped in unhappy marriages; high divorce rates mean that people who are unhappy can escape.>cheating is extremely common, I guarantee you it's extremely common in your country too, it's just that people are better at hiding it. >women have like 20+ bodies at marriage ageAnd why do you imagine that's a problem?
>>34785565it was not meant to be degrading. i see people use it online that's why i also used it>>34785309it's not like i want to participate in hookup culture, it's more like i fear FOMO and that after marriage i will regret not dating a single girl in my life. Most people here are religious and i am not so i dont have that religious obligation to not date and marry in my head>>34785591having kids early is out of question for me. i dont see myself having children and raising them, i right now dont have that patience honestly. Here most marriage are rarely about love but about responsibilities, strengthening familial ties and similar stuff. The problem is dating here is hard, and those who do date do it in secret. It's not like in a western country where i can approach a random girl i like, doesn't work like that. About virginity, if i dated i dont expect a girl to be a virgin, i am not a hypocrite. The thing is since i've never dated i have no idea what i want and don't want in a potential girl>>34786949people cheat here too but i'm sure the numbers are far lower. regarding bodycount, i don't think it's unreasonable to expect your future wife to not have slept with everyone? I dont think any man, even the most liberal western white man is going to be okay with it deep down
>>34787772best what to find out what you want is to date. that's the contradiction to trying to get a low body count.like i said when you live with someone, you see the real version of them much better.being in heat and lust, you might as well have beer goggles on. it distorts your perception of them
>>34785282Yes, it is a good idea: statistically, the less relationships someone has before marriage, the longer their marriage lasts. Meaning, if you marry the first person you date, you literally have the most likelihood of the marriage lasting forever. If someone dates a lot of people before they marry, statistically, they become increasingly likely to get a divorce with every single additional person that they've dated.
>>34785282Tbh I think it's better to marry young and grow together. From what I have seen, the ones who met in highschool and are still toghter seem to have the strongest marriages I think what's most important is that you for sure have the same values and goals for a family (whether it be pursuing God, or have same values in how to raise kids etc)
