I feel trapped in my relationship with my gf. For context: she's 5 years younger than me and all she does is bedrot and scroll social media. No interests, no hobbies, no physical activies. Myself, I'm very good physical shape, have interests and don't use socials. At the start of the relationship I was too lustful and enjoyed her company so her vices didn't matter at the time. Now it's been 2+ years of the same shit. I relapsed into porn after abstaining for years, and I find myself looking at women who have nice developed lower bodies at the gym all the time. How do I get her to start giving a shit about her health and looks? I've tried getting her to work out but to no avail. Just downloaded hinge to look at what's out there out of desperation.
She's your gf. No one's trapped >Now it's been 2+ years of the same shitThis is why dating for <1 year is ideal. You get to vet the person and not have to get "divorced" before marriage.
>>34786005Forest walks into hill walks is the best way to get someone who had no interest in their health into exercise IMO.You could also try to get her into video essays about books or history to then try and get her into reading.
>10 minutes passes>people pour their hearts out>OP doesnt respondThat’s clearly bait
>>34786005if you're browsing the alternatives, it's a sign things need to change or you're going to move on because mentally you're already there.draw a line.tell her she needs to make changes. you hate seeing her like this, and you don't want a girlfriend that is a social media zombie.she will either react with some grudging respect or blow up. this gives you your answer if you have something to work with, or if it's time to pack the bags.you're not trapped. you're just not doing what you should have done months ago.take action.>>34786024this is a good point. if you want to get them to do something, the best strategy is to announce you're doing something and invite them.it sounds like you want them to have a life outside their screen relationship though, so there's some big changes in order.
>>34786046got us againoh hey you're my imposter!
>>34786021What can I do now though?>>34786024We do that sometimes but it's no substitute for a healthy routine.>>34786047I've tried this in perhaps a milder tone in the past. If I'm to do this, how should I approach it? By giving an ultimatum?
Does she like black meat? I can take her off your hands
>>34786005Some people might disagree but this is why I don’t date younger. They’re all lazy retarded slobs, rather get a fit one my age. Try easing her into it. Do diet plans together, walk together, bring her to your gym. If she won’t change after a year, look elsewhere. Life's too short to stick with a person you don’t mesh well with.
>>34786062yes. if you're downloading data apps you need to take swift action.you can start it off sweet and kosher. invite them on a walk, say she needs to develop some hobbies outside her phone.start by suggesting things she do with you. if it fails, say you want a gf that isn't a social media zombie. if that fails, say you're going to move on if she doesn't change.it helps to write all this down because if anything turns into an argument, people tend to go to the extreme and lose their cool. so its important you are very clear and concise with what you want.
>>34786062Trying to get her into doing something small weekly would be a good start. I know it can just seem pointless at first but I got someone going from just walks in a park to going up Carrauntoohil with me in just over a year.>>34786069If she likes her steak well done then op should ditch the troglodyte immediately.
>>34786088dating apps* XD
>>34786005Why, exactly, are you trapped? Why not just dump her?
>>34786079I wish I went for someone who was already fit, instead of having to jump through hoops trying to make a fit person out of a slob.>>34786088I've tried getting her into a hobby so many times I've lost track. I'll manage to get her to pick something up only for her to drop it and complaining that she has no interest. I don't know how it's possible to be so uninterested in anything.>>34786094What kind of measures did you take? Was it just gradually from taking her on weekly walks?
>>34786128then yes, do the ultimatum.tell her to figure something out or you're leaving.if you're done though, just break it off. by what you're writing it looks like you've already internally decided it's hopeless.as much as an asshole you might feel, breaking up with them will give them something to reflect on, and hopefully change.if you prolong it, it will only do worse for both of you.am i wrong?
>>34786128It was basically just gradual escalation. After a few weeks I asked her if she wanted to go see this old fort (pic) as it was a bit more of a trek. From there we just went on regular walks with a few short hikes until I asked her again if she wanted to go up our local "mountain" (barely more than a hill lmao) before taking her up Carrauntoohil.
>>34786146I think I already knew the answer and I'm just coping by making this post. This is my first relationship and it's mainly just fear of not being able to find someone again. I don't think you're wrong, it's just my indecision and not knowing what's right.
