i've had suicidal ideation and have been attempting to kill myself since around when i gained sentience (age 12). i have no friends and i'm too mentally disabled to do anything meaningful besides occasionally work a part time job for minimum wage and i can't even handle that. my boyfriend (only friend) ghosted me because i guess he doesn't like me anymore. anyway all of this to say that i'm an untalented useless piece of shit in this world and that i am basically a parasite. the only problem i have with fully going through dying is that i know it would effect those around me. dying for me is the best choice and would end my life which has mostly been suffering. however, i can't make my family understand that and i don't expect them to be able to understand this. i feel like if i can keep living i should do so just so my parents don't have to deal with things like finding my corpse. has anyone had a family member that killed themself? what was it like for you? was it really bad or could you get over it? how does a parent feel when their child kills themself? i know in my current state of being alive that i'm just a burden to those that know me but if i commit suicide then i might just leave an even worse burden than if i was alive.
>>34786499it's selfish to throw away human and mother natures investment.maybe take revenge on the world and punish them for keeping you alive? isn't that what communists do?
can you please gift me anything if you decided to go through with iteven unironically have you livestream you ending it would be precious to me
Don't let the demons in your head win over you. You are better than all of that. Anon, I'm more fucked up than you and everyone on this website okay? I'm literally a lolcow, but I don't let how fucked up I am effect the trajectory of my life. I move forward and try to make the most of it despite what I face. I don't cry because I don't have God's gift of knowing everything so that I be saved. I instead focus on the little thing I have in front of me, make the most out of it, and accept what gift it gives me. There are beautiful things in your life you are missing out on if you just give them the chance. Maybe you're in a deep hole, but above your hole is where the beauty of the world is at and you got to just keep trying to get out of it to see it.
>>34786543i'm not angry and that sounds like too much work. i just want to stop hurting.>>34786555why would it be precious? you don't know me so i don't understand how it would be valuable to you.>>34786565there's no way to get out of this "hole". i've been in it my whole life.
>>34786499>giving a more serious answerwhat have you done to try and meet other people?how long ago was the break up?have you tried meeting people on 4chan or related sites?
>>34786597That doesn't mean give up.
>>34786597>why would it be precious? you don't know me so i don't understand how it would be valuable to you.why do you care?still trying to explain myself would be meaningless now i kind of hate u, i hope you die and dont worry yes you are genuinely a hassle and a burden to everyone even for strangers please die as soon as possible
>>34786597a year from now you won't even be thinking of any of this shit. i don't know how long its been, but there's other people out there for you if you look.
>>34786597There is a way out. You don't need talent or lots of friends or anything external to become happy and fulfilled. Everyone can exceed their own limits, and find joy in their own personal progress. You just need to focus on being better than you were yesterday, instead of fixating on what the rest of the world is doing.
>>34786499>has anyone had a family member that killed themself? Yes.>what was it like for you? Life-destroying.>was it really bad or could you get over it? It was twenty years ago, and I haven't even started to get over it yet. >how does a parent feel when their child kills themself?A lot worse than I do, that's for sure.>but if i commit suicide then i might just leave an even worse burden than if i was alive.That is 100% guaranteed.
>>34786499If you are a biological woman, find a man to take care of you.If you are a tranny or a faggot, it's all over for you. In fact, some would argue it never even begun.
>>34786935what am i supposed to do then? i don't know how much longer i can live like this but i don't want to hurt the people around me. everyone says retarded shit like next year you won't care, that eventually it will get better. this isn't true. my entire life has just gotten worse and it's all my fault that it has. i'm incapable of accomplishing anything and i don't even have a single friend (also my fault).
>>34787023sorry i know im being a whiny retarded faggot on the internet!!!
>>34787023>>34787027can you reply to the posts above.if you're a woman have you ever used a dating site even to find friends?
>>34787041yes i have used the bumble friend mode but i cant drive so i cant really go out and meet people (driving is only way to get around where i live). having no friends is mainly my fault even online because i get too paranoid or im too sensitive, or stubborn abput something so i get kicked out of the friend group or leave it. i avoid people who are nice to me a lot of the time because i inherwntly feel like they are lying and even they arent they will find out they dont like me soon. yes it is all my fault but its something i cant help eithwr my brain is retarded abd fucked up. i am incapable of being loved or accepting happiness evrn when i have it i ruin it on purpose because it makes me feel better to ruin it. i know people will say ermm just stop dping that retard. and i do try to but its like asking an animal to do sometbing that is their nature like trying to force a dog to stop sniffing othet dog asses. i need to be put down likr an animal im one of those retarded dogs who cant be trained to libe properly in society.
>>34787117thank you.no matter what you are going to have to find a way to stop doing what you are doing.is there any way you can go to old friends/groups and ask to be a part again?here's the problem i see. with the current way you are acting, if you don't get some confidence in yourself, what is going to happen is you are going to attract assholes who will be willing to look over your problem for the price of them abusing you.so you have to find a way to stand up for yourself and say you are deserving of attention, compliments, etcetera or you will attract a very nasty male 'dog' owner.as for driving im not sure what to say. can someone drive you around? do you have a bike? is there a bus? you'd have to be comfortable with mystery person driving you around if not.
