I wish I had a tribe

I am never talking to anybody, especially any "professional" help, ever fucking again after this lol. They're all evil or parasitic in some way or another.

I used to listen to that song while crying at night in that place

Why am I cursed to be such a schizo

You can't hurt me anymore. I'm too far away now.

Maria,
We never give up on each other. God guides us home to each other and because of our love.
When you told me that I am all that matters to you and nothing will ever change that, it gave me relief to know you felt the same as me.
I know I would give everything just to feel you in my arms, safe and secure.
So I put you first and keep my promises to you, to wait for you.
I love you,
Mike

>>34787302
You’ve been too far away

That first night, just curled up against you, the sound and feel of your heartbeat just under my cheek, my fingertips...I'm still riding the last vestiges of that bliss even as the sadness and melancholic longing creeps in...hearing of your own death in absence makes me worry for you, need to soothe you. We need to be where we belong. With each other.

I'm so sorry I hurt you. That my words and actions made you feel less than. Unwanted. Used and lied to betrayed. I wish I could undo it all, I wish I could do more to soothe the pain I caused you. I don't deserve your forgiveness but you have it anyways. Know that whatever you need, I'm there. I'm sorry I wasn't.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll6sBa3Dafs

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>>34787306
it's over michael come to bed

Ah, what I wouldn't give for you to just...show up. Take me in your arms. Murmur sweetness into my hair.

>>34787566
I would love lay in bed withmymaria, to feel her with me, her head on my chest, her arm and leg draped over me, her breathing calm and steady with mine. To feel her tremble and moan against me in pleasure, her skin against mine. To move her hair from her eyes as she tells me how everything is just perfect now. That she's home.

it's over.

>>34787647
It's showver...

>>34787577
If I could be free. I could go anywhere. But that is not slated to happen until september ends.

>>34787655
Wake me up...
When September ends...

>>34787577
What does it smell like?

i wish my bf would come back.

I'll listen if it was actually you but until then I'll assume you are a unrelated random anon who is writing that as a tic (fitting for gioyc) you do every day here, shortly followed by fight the future

>>34787663
initials?

I visit my parents every sunday. We'll watch a couple episodes of a show we're all into. Maybe I'll play a bit of an MMO with mom like we have been for the past 20 years. (thank you Steam Deck)
Today, I showed up, and she was clearly drunk. She was just getting off of work too. I can't stand the person she becomes when she's drunk. She just gets loud, angry, argumentative, and loses all sense of logic and reason.
She's tried to quit a few times, and she knows how much I hate seeing her like that. The last time was last Halloween, where I managed to tough it out for the rest of the family's sake, and just suffered through it as we watched a movie.
Not this time. I offered to take my dad to a local diner, and just had dinner with him there. dropped him off, and drove home. I didn't want her to hear me offer that, but she just wouldn't leave. When I left with him, she was quietly sobbing to herself, and just whimpering "I'm sorry."
I didn't say anything, but I should have said "no, you're not."

I'm in a miserable spot mentally right now, and visiting them is the most real social interaction I have most days. She only really started trying to quit when I let slip that I only wanted to move out because the thought of spending any more time living there made me want to kill myself. I never tried to make any ultimatums or anything, but I also didn't really hide how much I hated seeing her like that.
I've had to drag her off the ground because she's too far gone to stand. I've had sleepless nights where she's screaming at the top of her lungs over nothing.
Her behavior got so bad that her own mother tried to poison her, and she still didn't get the message.

I don't know if I need her, or if I need to be rid of her. I don't know if I care enough to try and help, or if I just need the strength to let go.

>>34787797
You obviously are interested in staying involved or trying to pursue things further. Even if she was sober, would you feel this way? Would you have the same issues or find the same excuses to be upset? You sound like some b tier redditor who doesn't want to date the girl you're with. Shit or get off the pot and let everyone in the situation find happiness, if you're not 'feeling it'.

>>34787812
*arn't

>>34787812
Nigga, I'm talking about my mom.

I love you, little one. I’ll say that as many times as you need.

I hope you rest well. I’m sorry you were ever alone. I won’t let it happen again. Stay with me.

>>34787797
She sounds like a super alcoholic although there might be other issues going on too. Hard to say. She needs actual rehab from the sounds of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcBFicOvhos

>>34787680
You a guy or a gal?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4ZuseKFBF0

I have no other place to scream about this to, so pardon me if this is a handful:

I met a friend group a year and a half ago, pretty great group overall, we play games, they introduced me to DnD proper and some of which do support me in more ways than one. I've had my ups and downs with the group, but I believe I have a good footing; however, today is one of those days where I wonder what my position is, and it happened because of a string of bad DnD sessions. The long story short is that while I dont have any issues in the table, my flaws as a person (too excitable, bit of a gremlin, mildly vindictive and petty) do seep through the cracks, not enough to detriment the game, but enough for others to make observations. There is also the issue that the group is a bunch of yappers that talk over each other a lot and topple on each other's actions as well. So lately, I believe I've been getting sidelined on a lot of things I could add up to the table, ignored or argued when I offer a thought, talked over to stop and let others do their thing... I've seen everyone pop off at their characters doing things, and when I do something cool, I barely get any comments (save one or two players out of the total 5/6). And often when I voice things like this, I get reproachful "why are you complaining when you have this this and that" comments that feel less like reaffirmation and more like scolding. And sure, it could very well be in my head and I have no reason to complain when they have affirmed that despite my setbacks, they still enjoy playing with me... but last few sessions I feel like I have made no difference, in fact it would be better off if I was not even on the table.

I will talk it out with my group one last time and move along, maybe reconsider joining in future games too; but for now, I'd like to stop feeling so sad about this...

I'm addicted to watching porn and the stuff I watch is getting worse and worse. I have to try and figure out how to stop

Google, I fucking hate your calendar. I've had a reoccuring event that I deleted into the future that has appeared FOR OVER 17 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE THAT I MAY NOT DELETE OR HAVE ANY INPUT OT CONTROL OVER AND IT IS ROYALLY PISSING ME OFF AND I WANT IT GONE.

Getting a job where people are respecting me just makes me infinitely more angry how abused and shit on I was at my previous job. I can't believe this is what getting a normal wagie job is like, and I can't believe people actually bitch about it.

>>34788121
is your character boring?
can you provide us their details?
it sounds like some in your group have some preconceived notion about you or your character from how you describe it. maybe that he/she has some unfair characteristic or something they find silly.

>>34788121
As a DM its fun to lead large groups of players especially when its an entire crew of buddies you have that are all excited to play, but more than 4 players per group and it really slows things down, especially if people are looking to role play and really get into character. I think this is more of an issue than anything regarding personality or playstyle of the players. At least thats what I initially see as a neutral perspective.

Unfortunately there isnt a lot to do other than bringing that up to the DM and hoping that he fully addresses it with the entire table. Slowing down and letting everyone have their moments is feasible, but every player needs to understand the pacing issues with group size and be on the same page.

>>34788121
I don't know your scenario, of course. But I felt similar things with friend groups in the past.
You notice and remember when things go wrong way more than you remember others' mistakes. The same is true for your friends.
It sounds like you're being a bit too self-critical, and quick to assume apathy from silence.

As for how to fix it. I find that people tend to feel at least mildly obligated to reciprocate when you subtly gas them up a bit. Maybe just bark out an in-character line like "Damn, two goblins with one arrow. Remind me to never stiff you with the bill at the tavern again"
If you get vindictive and petty, try showing that to an NPC.
Make yourself the butt of a joke, but in a way that doesn't come across as sympathy baiting. You can help to build others up, and that will make others want to build you up. If everyone's talking over eachother, (I agree, it's fucking annoying how zoomers seem to always do this) then just try and find your voice and slip in when you've got something. It's definitely something of a skill to master, and there's a fine line between reading the room, and out-of-line interrupting. Usually that line moves depending on how well liked you are. At the end of the day, it's a lot of trial and error.

Right now, I think your biggest mistake is the complaining. It can easily come across as wanting your character to be the main character, which is something people in the community are pretty well tuned for detecting.

I don't think you should give up. If you can think of a few specific examples of problem moments you've caused, then it might be good to mention them, offer a quick apology, and tell them you're trying to be a better contributor. Don't try to request that they fix their behavior yet because that's just going to undo any good will brought along by the apology.

And as a final note, Something I've had to ask myself repeatedly is this: "Do I really want to be friends with these people, or do I just want friends?"

I don't feel sorry for you, you're an empty, sad excuse of a human being that thinks you can use people and then discard them when they're no longer useful.
That's not love, love isn't about how a person makes you feel only, and when the butterflies in your stomach go away they're no longer useful to you, yet the feeling of desire remains for the other person, who wants you and wants to see you well and happy BOTH.
A month of silence passes by after you make promises of love, intimacy and a future together, not one minute spent together after that, barely any words when you used to talk all day every day, you conveniently forget that you ever promised anything, and then you start insulting, mistreating, humiliating, using the things they trusted you with you hurt them when they dare break out of this cycle, that's not love...
You're a fucking leech, a vampire, I don't feel sorry for you.

>>34788410
>TL;DR: EAT SHIT
>Whateva, I do what I want

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXwMmd9QfPM

If you can't see the appeal of a short petite girl, you are fucking gay. I don't care what you say you are a faggot ass nigga.

If i am empty it is because i poured until i couldnt any longer.