Why don’t ambulances/fire trucks have a beat to their sirens?

I'm scared the distance between us will continue to stretch on...I need you. Need to be your little one, always.

90% of you guys should really just reach out to the person causing you mental duress and talk to them in person, rather than continue down the path of mental illness larping with random people here who are certainly not the person you're thinking of.

>>34808223
I don't see any fun in this. I want them to stay obsessed with me, wasting their time and missing out on the potential for a real relationship. That's what gets me out of bed in the morning with a smile on my face.

Watching a movie with my One True Sun, C. I'm so lucky to have him, to be his, and no one else's.

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im literally retarded autistic fucking idiot freak and my parents just died and I inherited some money but im legitimately too fucking stupid to do all the taxes and shit i want to kill myself
i live in a different country than them and the process is so fucking complicated
i literally cant do it i wish i was poor so i could just kill mydslerf

against all advise i kept chasing her, and i knew there was a chance cause she repeatedly read the emails, but no more... i told her i love her, but sounded like i hate her in that vocaroo recording. then love has gone, despair dntered.

>>34808436
get an accountant to help you with that stuff. might get expensive depending though so whether its worth it depends on the amount you inherited. but definitely takes a lot of the burden off to have a professional at least once check on things

>>34808436
Take your time to grieve anon.

>>34808593
i literally dont know how i cant speak the language of their country and i wont have the money for monthsto come

Is it normal to get angry at indians on twitter

>>34808619
there are specialised accountants for international inheritance cases. these are the people who will help you with that stuff, you wont need to speak the language of your parents country. further there are ways to get at least initial professional advice for little, sometimes no money, depending on the offerings in your country. just research that stuff a bit. if you have any relatives versed in finance or law make sure to talk to them about the steps you take, because its also not uncommon to get ripped off in inheritance matters. so im not saying that stuff is easy, just get the right people involved and approach it slow and steady.

>>34808640
Yes but you have to remember a lot of them have monetized accounts and are deliberately trying to make you mad so they can earn $5 a month (which makes them the richest man in their village) on engagement.

>>34808640
Its fine to get angry at them when theyre trying to scam you. So in 8/10 Cases, yes

What the fuck is wrong with me? I can sit my ass down and draw for like 10 hours straight every day for weeks but I cannot, CANNOT for the life of me bring myself to study it. I don't know even the basic fundamentals of jack shit and I know I need to learn but goddamn does the thought of it drain all the passion from my hands. In the many times I've decided to finally get off my ass and do it my brain stutters and stops within minutes and I can't move. I'm like this with everything. I want to say it's anything that takes effort but that isn't true; actually drawing takes a huge amount of effort but it feels rewarding as hell and I love doing it, it's just LEARNING to draw that feels impossible.
There's all kinds of things I'm sure I'd love to do, but something in me hates learning. I want to just do. I don't want the burden of knowing or refining or perfecting, I just want to lose myself in doing something and have the result actually look or sound or feel or just be good. I hate that I can't do that. I'd play the piano and write novels and work with my hands to make things, I'd like to do pottery and embroidery and DIY my own furniture but all of these things take resources I can't justify spending money on (except for writing but I have other issues with this) because in order to get something worthwhile and satisfactory I need to LEARN how to DO THINGS ARRGGGGH
I hate to say it but I understand that Howie schizo, just a little bit. I am forever doomed to be a /beg/ retard with no skills in anything ever because my brain is horrendously resistant to learning. It's actually embarrassing.

I should have died.
I know this. I live that truth.

I couldn't tell you when, not exactly. But, every breath feels wrong. Every second that my stubborn self carves from Father Time feels like an unforgivable crime.
I don't want it to be this way. But, I don't want to die either.

Can anyone relate? Everything in my life is something I DON'T want.
Mercy. Please. PLEASE. I just want this to stop. I keep fighting Death; is that a mistake?

It would hurt so many people. But maybe they deserve to be hurt? They're not good people. Two wrongs don't make a right.
But how much harder do I have to fight that tide?
Is that all I am? A lesson to be learned?
Does this place give me such a meager purpose?
Maybe. But, I can live a lie. Something far more grandiose.
I'll never believe it. But it'll hurt less. That's all I can hope for.

>>34808091
They do, it's called a rumbler.

>>34808436
Get an accountant, but also find out what their rates are before you tell them how much money you inherited. Also compare accountants, and read reviews. You also don't need to do everything right now. Find out your deadlines. The different country situation is rough.

>>34808619
Hire an translator through a reputable service. If your country has an embassy (consulate? not sure on the difference) in their country, they can help you with a lot of these things.

Also, you may need a lawyer from your parent's country for certain things too. Usually they will help you with things like probate.

>>34808640
Depends on why. I advise not wasting your time with Twitter morons.

>>34808736
This is normal. You have an actual interest in drawing, and you know you need the other things but because you aren't able to motivate yourself with why you need those things you can't make yourself do them.

I am someone who can sit and type on spreadsheets and research data for hours. I am said to have the patience of a saint. However, I can only be that patient if I know my goals. For other things that I just have no interest in, I get tired of it inside of a few minutes.

Love just burns at this point.
It's a light that may as well be the sun. My desperation for its apricity is only matched by the heat it brands me with.

Can't this just change? Am I so dark that any daylight scorches me to cinders? Is it so bright that I could never exist there?
The truth, please. "Maybe" is so much worse than "no".

Am I being an asshole here? My dad's in a really bad financial situation because he was dumb and bought a house with a woman he barely knew 10 years ago (the relationship didn't last long) and he just has bad choices in women and whatever the last woman did to him turned him to the 2 worst vices: drinking and gambling. He's barely making rent and referred me to a gambling site so he could get free money for referring me and I really don't want to participate in his gambling addiction but he's also my dad and I don't want to see him homeless. He's literally depending on gambling to pay rent.

>>34808396
Really shows the kind of person you are after what happened. I can see why no one likes you colton.

>>34808947
And yet it is not the sun and you either feel the need to act like you are (more of mikes words, perspective, even acting like you are him) or you are in denial that you lost the only love that matters. The sun is gone and you are grasping onto anything you can to stop from feeling the pain if it's loss.

The reason I expect the worst is because I know what it feels like. Or I at least think I do in the moment, though I also consciously know that it could always be worse. I anticipate pain because it might give me that split second to put my shield up, to say that I saw it coming and handle the aftermath, but in a way, that makes me bitter. I've always told myself that I would never let the world or anyone do that to me, that I would always try to find the silver lining, but that isn't what has become my first inclination. I don't want to let myself wallow in victimhood, but it is hard when the things that are supposed to happen feel so abrasive. I suppose that makes me a bit impatient, too. If I were stronger, or more callous, these things wouldn't effect me, but I don't want to be that way. I want to be sensitive and heartful, I want to feel purely, but being hurt is just so scary that it's hard to bear. I suppose so, too, that I am also a coward. All there is left is to let myself be hurt again, maybe then I will be truly patient, brave, and optimistic. Maybe then I will be truly there for myself as the person I need to be.

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>>34808082
I recently got a job being a janitor. Pay is good and I have full hours, unlike my last job which was heavy manual labor and they cut everybody's hours on the first day

I should be grateful, and I am for the paycheck, but I already want to quit because being a janitor sucks.

I'm planning on leaving in a few months, after I get hired on and not through the temp agency. I want to figure out how to get into a better career, even if it means going back to school.

How do you overcome learned helplessness when you constantly fail at a task or do a horrible job at it? It just makes me feel even worse about myself because I can't do anything right and reinforces my learned helplessness

>>34808385
Lol fag

Is it weird that most of my rape fantasies involve men rather than women?

I dont even know where to begin. I guess i'm a screenwriter. I dont have any serious desire to be a director. I don't come from a show business background at all, I don't live in a city or state that would support my ideals at all. I try to connect with other people in my state that are like me but i know they're going nowhere fast, they're just not serious about it. So what do i do? move all the way out to socal and try to work on student films? would they even let me? how would i pivot to getting MY stuff made? do i stay put and try to sell my screenplays from the hellhole i call my hometown? how do i not go crazy trying to chase all of this? am i already losing my mind? yes, at least i think so. I haven't even had anything made and i'm already stressed out like an exec trying to keep his job. Sometimes i feel like giving up, but i love film. It's the only thing i want to live for. I'm royally fucked

>>34809114
Just stop feeling bad about being a failed human. Many of us come out very defective.

I wish I could’ve saved her from addiction and homelessness. I wish my love was enough. I wish the woman I loved still existed
I wish I wish I wish, didn’t matter

>>34809207
Hollywood is heavily gatekept, my friend. Good luck, anyway, though.

I always get really disgusted with myself whenever I’m even the littlest bit attracted to someone. Like I feel like such a perverted fucking pig. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I could just be asexual.

>>34809215
It'll still bother you unless you're Aromantic as well.

when im trying to disassociate but youtube plays a fucking ad

I didn't think I would feel almost no drunkness off of a 40...

>>34809218
Ok yeah, aroace, whatever. But having sexual desire makes me feel like an evil pervert and that’s a big part of it.

we shall see how this all goes

I am NEVER doing a hotel reservation over debit again
Got scammed out of £300 and they go ;-;
>Awww gees we can't do shit
Least I can write it off as an expense still.

>>34809473
Here I am kvetching, AMEX did an immediate refund. Holy fawk.

My mom's a stupid fucking loser who only knew how to pop out babies.

>>34809512
What does that make you?

You thought I was wasting your time, but then you realized I was just as confused as you. We liked each other all along, but unfortunately the time has passed now. We should’ve both been up front about our feelings instead of concealing them.

I would like the quiet pride I think would come from long term sobriety. Knowing I’m maximizing my potential to be healthy, beating the urges to escape reality. I know I’m not addicted but I can’t stop the craving for relief. I don’t want antidepressants, I don’t want psyche meds. I want a big beautiful life because that’s how I perceive reality. I want to feel without fearing the discomfort of sitting in what I’ve experienced and become. Sometime it all feels like too much.

I am sad when I don't see him, but when I see him I get angry

Somehow I have to find inner peace.

>>34809209
How? I'm just constantly reminded of my failure. Going outside. Talking to people. Going on the Internet. You can't escape it

I was happy to be wrong, but definitely embarrassed. Just an ongoing thing really though as an embarrassment.

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Imagine chilling in your favorite spaces, where you can rest from everything that annoys you, doing things you love, and enjoying peaceful solitude. Then this obsessive thing shows up, convinced it has some right to track your every move, to know what you're doing there. You feel genuinely disturbed that anyone would think it's okay to invade your safe space, just because you once showed them a few results of your creative process. Now it thinks it has the right to be there all the time, not realizing this is a place no one is allowed to enter unless explicitly invited. Then they ask why you're still spending time there instead of leaving. You need to ask yourself this, would it be okay for me to walk into your room while you're praying to your sand nigger prophet

I regret meeting you. I never should have opened up to you.

>>34810130
Same.

I'll never leave you alone, my love. I'm your little one, always.

>>34810136
Why did you do it? What were they like.

>34810130
Type of shit we would both think is the other...it would be so much better to be together always, and have that reassurance.

I grow tired of overanalyzing what seems to be just a girl being nice to me as something more or less than what it was only because my mind is wrestling with the fact that I did something before that that I've been told for many years was a complete fucking turn off for most women so it already makes less sense she did what she did.

We all need you. Look at the way they stretch and lean into your hand before even making contact. I do the same. You're needed and beloved. Not because you're a tool, something to be used, but because of who you are, because you're valued and loved and wanted, regardless of what you do. (Though the favorite meats help hehe)

I volunteer at least 3 times per week but I still feel too inadequate and paranoid to make friends, especially since being stalked. My family ignores me, I was a shut-in for years and malnourished, and I've never had a job or a bf/gf or a friend in 10 years. I guess I would like some advice on how to just move forward as a person and stop wishing for my death.

I will see you again someday.

>>34808897
Nationalists ones are probably the worst group I have ever seen on twitter even most nationalists aren't as stupid as hindu nationalists

>>34809114
Shame is an invention of the stupid, and accepted by the gullible. It simply takes X amount of hours to learn a task, and the number is different for everyone. There is no arbitrary meaning assigned to how long it takes to learn it.
>>34809211
You can’t save anyone, anon. No one can really save anyone.
>>34809215
This is a normal thought that good people have, even the hot ones.

>>34809223
How could it make you aberrant to possess sexual desire when nearly every single human being on earth does too? The feeling of powerlessness that comes with being attracted to someone is not unique, it was so greatly feared that Muslim countries made it a crime for women to show their faces. Getting over this is going to be the difference between what makes you a stronger person. Don’t worry, hot people want others to at least agree they are hot. That doesn’t make you a horny creep, you were just observing a fact, it makes you smart. If I worked very hard to look hot, I would be pretty unhappy if people didn’t think so. Problem is that you need to learn how to operate around people who happen to be hot.

>>34808223
gee what a great idea. fuck off. u dont know everyones situatoion. some of us have no way getting in contact

>>34808091
they do but they only beat black ppl

>>34809113
theres no shame in being a janitor especially hospital janitors. you guys have to see/clean shit so we dont have to.
Respect 2 you.

>>34809222
stop drinking.
especially if you dont know what will get you drunk

>>34809222
I'm the opposite, I'm nearly 40 and too fucking weak to alcohol

>>34809996
yes. the more the merrier!
more ppl = better= more=friends!
you sound so selfish and immature!
"YOU CANT BE FRIRNDS WITH MY FRIENDS!"
LOSER

>>34810282
i hope not

That was special. I'm going to remember you for the rest of my life.

My car won't start. I want to kill myself.

>>34810324
Send them a pigeon u retard>>34810324

>>34810277
What do you do for volunteer work? I'm in a similar situation. I'm afraid of volunteering because I'm so afraid of people and think I'll just fuck everything up and they'll have to turn me away eventually. I remember I was so retarded I couldn't even organize books at a library correctly

Got an actual twinge of pain thinking that some celebrity would never see me and never know of me.
I never thought I would get a celebrity crush, how embarrassing.

Avoiding the political side of twitter is a good idea

Why is it that the restaurants with the most delicious food always have the worst hygiene? Everywhere I've liked the most either got shut down over health violations or gives me a solid 1/10 chance of getting a bug in my food. I've heard other people complain about this too so it can't just be me.

One side of my family I feel no real connection with, our relationships are fine but feels like we're from different worlds and never really connected on any deep level, meanwhile the other side of my family I feel more like I can see how we share blood and are more similar but they want nothing to do with me.

I get there's people with a lot worse family situations where there's outside abuse or hate but still feels shitty to never really get to experience what seems like other people have with their families. Feels like if I never saw anyone in my family ever again I wouldnt really stress it nor would they, and that sucks.

day wasn't too bad

I just checked my porn folder, and it's over 700 gigabytes of pictures, videos, hentai, animations, and games.
I scrubbed through several waifus' entire rule34 catalogs to grab any and all that I thought I'd like to keep.

I'm only starting to realize that with all the time I put into viewing, and subsequently understanding different types of porn, I could have instead just wanked it to normie shit in ten minutes like everyone else, and spent that time doing something that I can actually talk about. Even if it's also not productive, like having more than a handful of shows, movies, or books to talk about.

I know I should delete it, but it took me so long to amass the whole thing, and getting rid of it just like that feels like an admission that all that time was poorly wasted. That, and a commitment to bettering myself, which I'm not sure I'm ready for at the moment. I'm in a bad spot mentally right now, and I don't drink or smoke, so my only relaxing vice left would be sugary desserts.

I miss you. The old lady gets tolerable after a glass of wine or two, which passes time well enough. But I'm always eventually faced with the quiet reality that we aren't together right now. That I've no smothering biceps waiting to embrace me. The missing you hits hard and fast instead of that gradual worsening throughout the day. Praying it ends. What a gift it would be if it were early...or at the very least, on that one date...the service I talked to gave me doubt and fear that even that was too much to hope for. I need you. I want to think you need me too, and I can bring you comfort and rest and safety...broke my heart last night. Can't bear for you to hurt. Need to take it from you.

>>34810393
Hey man, check the battery

>>34810579
I understand, I mess up at work all the time and it's so embarrassing. But it's nothing to be afraid of. I do both behind-the-scenes work and customer service. The upside of customer service is you lose the fear of others quickly and people appreciate you for doing it. The downside is that it's overwhelming, customers can treat you badly, and it can feel like it's not worthwhile to have interactions be purely routine.

I genuinely think not being able to fuck Pokemons is fucking up my life, seriously, they simply don't exist, there is nothing I can even do about it even if I tried, how do I recover from this, why was I born this way.

>>34811224
Just bee yourself man, if you enjoy it, do it

Oh, My Heart, My Love...it aches but I'm so glad it's you...

I get a little thrill in my fingers and toes and up my spine looking at my bed and imagining you in it. You'll make everything here look smaller though, as big as you are. But that makes me happy too, having more of you taking up my field of vision, perception, like you're everywhere... especially after only having your presence in a few objects, a shirt here, a ring there...

The past few months I've been trying to psyop myself into liking tatted girls, since all the single women in my city have ink, but when I start chatting, I always reach the same mental block where I just can't do it.

I hope you guys had a good Sunday.

Chris Brown - Delusional (Visualizer) / ChrisBrownVEVO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0OnkP20z9s

I think I have to buy a new fridge this week

Legit I don't wanna do it but I now will be trying to take a walk to think of something else and thinking about od'ing and dying on some random bench in the park. I'd just want it to be painless. But I don't really wanna do it, I won't. It's in my head though.

Nothing is fun anymore and I don't want to be alive.

I'll just text my ex

>>34811442
just fix it

>>34811238
Thanks I think that's what it is. Tomorrow my boss is going to give me a ride to pick up a new one. These situations suck when you're alone

>>34811229
It's disgusting you write to yourself. Really quite a turn off and I would rather you disappear.

>>34811574
Not him but it's not worth it, there's probably other shit wrong with it too like ice building up in the freezer

>>34811316
>>34811356
You disgust me and I want nothing to do with you.

He left a letter here for you. You don't deserve it. This is your fault. This is all on you

I was helplessly enamored, addicted, from a few posts. You think I wouldn't love you if you weren't in that body you've built? That makes me sad.

You read those pages...short of you being emaciated or obese, nothing would have changed for me.

He called me and talked to me about you. His moon. I'd never heard him that upset before. I told it would get better. I didn't know that was the last time I'd hear his voice.

I'm very sad now. How little you value yourself. I would have always been yours, even if you were armless. I love you so much it hurts. All that I believed you said and wanted to do, wanted me dead, and I'm still here...but not being muscular is where the line is drawn? I love you. I miss you. No, love.

I'm pathetic enough to use LLMs to vent but they always just end up telling me to call a lifeline

Sleep well beloved. Chemical sleep takes me away. I love you always

it's over.

>>34808082
They would be tight in the barn and loose out side of it.

I'm no one's favorite person. I used to be, but I'm not anymore. I am convinced that most of my friends only tolerate me. I am enjoyable in small doses. Unfortunately, I have to be with myself all the time, and I really can't stand that guy.

>>34811629
It's better to tell us about suicidal or homicidal ideation than your techo-judaic overlords.

I'm not mad at you and I will never hate you, but I need to pretend you were a waste of my time for my own sake. I need to forget you and that's a lot easier said than done. I'm sorry.

All history of you has been deleted from my life. Goodbye.

>>34809220
Nothing but boner pills for me lately.

Thank you for your kind words, my little one. The eldest sleeps beside me as I write this. They need you too, you know. I really will lock you up with them, for as long as all of you need. I love all of you. It’s cruel that we’re apart.

I didn’t feel bad today. I missed you, but it didn’t pain me, that comes around Wednesday and Thursday, typically. I’ll hold you again tomorrow! Sleep well.

This isn't a confession or anything but I don't know where else to post it. When I was a toddler I thought I had two moms because of how different my mom looked when she wore makeup.

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Guess I'm going back to being a hermit again for months cause my only friend group just can not help themselves from making shitty backhanded barely disguised comments about my personal life and insecurities (having no job due to being forced to be a parent caregiver). Literally never ever ever talk about my personal life but I guess that's not enough of a sign that I dont want to deal with comments about it. I love that you're just supposed to put up with bullshit like this in social situations cause if you address it or say anything you're gonna be branded a vibe killer or some shit. Putting up with people is so frustrating sometimes.

>>34812040
Now imagine how your father felt. Poor guy

I didn't realise how much I like fat goth girls until about an hour ago.

>>34812202
Im sure the smell was terrible

I'm stuck in a lose-lose situation with my childhood friend. I love him, he loves me, but I know I'm going to be absolutely miserable if I marry him. His mother doesn't like me, both of his parents treat him like a doormat, they are also massive snobs. I don't want to lose him but I don't think he'll ever be able to stand up to them and I just can't live like that

>Day 1/3
Dealing with something, trying to have some self control, resisting for just a few days will do, starting with 3 day intervals, later I may see if I can hold back for weekly periods but I don't think I can go for that, love getting my fix

>>34812409
Actually didn't smell bad at all.

I don't even know if you realize this, maybe you do and maybe that's what gets you going but in case not here we go.

I make such an effort to show you how wanted you are. Wanting to touch you, wanting to talk to you, wanting you to be at ease/peace.

This little game youre playing where you reject my physical touch, look so uncomfortable/tense by just being near me. I told you that I dont like it. You seem to think it's so fucking funny.

We're married. With kids.
How fucking dare you treat me like I'm some butterface fangirl or a nerdy freshman.

It infuriates me to my core. You told me you want me to be happy, you want to be a better husband. You deny feeling tense/uncomfortable, you say you love me so much and have all this desire for me. You dont show it. You act like you're using an old how to get a woman guide (be a jerk basically)

Im being patient with you because I love you. I want the kids to grow up with parents united in love with strength and integrity.

Probably going to bring this up in couples therapy. Probably going to read the text you sent. I dont want to remuddy the waters....but I think it absolutely ridiculous that you're already acting like this and not 3 months ago you went total locobananas on me.

At the very least, if you cant give me that feeling of being wanted, stop with the behaviors that tell me you dont want me.

Stop rolling your eyes when I talk, stop making these little jokes like I'm so thirsty/desperate for physical touch. It's not funny - it's actually more of an lolcow on you because youre the husband starving their wife for physical (and emotional) intimacy.

Just be nice. Oh and these dates at home? Ask me questions, compliment my appearance. Stop criticizing me for little nothings.

I just want to feel desired by you. I have enough self esteem to know im pretty attractive. What isn't attractive is this dynamic currently at play. I hate this.

I found this

I put the package in the mailbox to go to the Georgia address in the morning. I won't be here at that time. Its a letter and some things for you.

This is what our life would of been

You know I'm so proud of you and you are so special to me. Everything with us is perfect in our way. We're mirrored in a way I will never have with anyone else but you, you feel the same with me. You are so kind and smart.
I do my best to help you grow and learn.there is happiness you feel with me that no other could give you.
I love holding you and kissing you. We are each others heart, the love of each other's life and always will be.
We never give up on each other. God gruides us in our love of each other, home with each other, soulmates. We are all that matters to each other and if needed we give everything just to be with each other, in my arms, safe and secure.

We put each other first and always keep our promises to each other. to wait for you. Nothing can take us away from each other, and if there is even obstacle we fight tooth and nail and for each other. We love each other. Nothing will ever change that. We are each other's truth.
Dream good dreams in my arms, on my chest
Feeling my heart.

Good bye my moon.

https://postimg.cc/gallery/ns7CF33

I love how funny you are. You regularly have my cheeks sore, temporary cessation of breathing.

>>34811838
Coward.

>>34811838
I feel the same. The last several years I lost myself. Removing those years is the first step home. To feel your kiss for the first time. Like the last several years never happened.

Dementia is causing my dad's memories of us to be replaced by a dead girlfriend from 60 years ago.
Places he took us as kids, he remembers as dates he had with her.
It's so fucked up.

I remember not liking girls with nose piercings
Now she's there she gives me the slightest bit of fucking attention and I suddenly ignore the fucking nose piercing.

The best I can do is erase the last several years and choose you.

My sister hates my dad's dead gf because he talks about her nonstop. We drove him past his old home in April, and it flipped a switch in his head, and he can't do 5 minutes without talking about her.

>>34811835
Right. Anyone here tried OD-ing on benzos? Not saying I'm gonna do it I just wanna know

What a fucking waste.
I left her on read

Still having anxiety attacks over being led on by a quiet BPD who discarded me after I was done being insulted I then discarded her when she was hoovering while fuckin some other guy.

Why you mom want me to have lots of kids if you gave birth to only one. It’s my fault.When I was a child I told my mom that I don’t want siblings.She listened to me. Now I have to suffer my whole life because I don’t want kids and I’m not attracted to anyone enough to start a fucking family.I can’t tell them. Every time they tell me : ‘when you have kids…..’ It aches my heart. I’m doomed.

>>34812872
I could tell my self that but it's a lie. The truth is I never stopped loving him despite the years we lost with each other.

>>34812872
I have similar issues but it's mostly being treated by people throughout my life, I think I finally got a handle on it. You'll be okay, I think

>>34812879
It was very short but very damaging, 7 months of friendship, 3 months being led on, she showed up with a choke mark on her neck, as she likes choked during sex, that along with her emasculating insults completely destroyed me.
I don't really like her anymore, but I want to be ok one day, hopefully I'll be ok too.

I'll be okay once I'm away from the place and person I'm with right now.

>>34808396
This Colton, Mike, Maria stuff is a bot. There's no way these are actual human beings

>>34810130
Same.

>>34812899
>Same.
Who was it? Have you reflected on why you tried to have a relationship with that person?

>>34812899
I believe mike and maria are real. If they are ghosts in the shell, they are for each other.

>>34812899
It's just one actually schizophrenic dude larping as several people.

>>34812986
That makes more sense. 10x more sad though.

I made pizza again and it came out 10x better

>>34812986
Yeah, I detest Colton too. He is really annoying.

>>34813004
10 times more is the promise of mike. Funny how you say it as well.

We live in a fake society that's arguably a prison. Praying for total immigrant death, wouldn't solve everything but it would be so beautiful and such a ball and chain removal it might well be. Millions must smolder.

>>34813004
It stops being sad really quick when he shits up every thread and spam replies to your entirely-unrelated-to-him post as if you are both "Maria" and "colton"
>>34813010
Based

>>34813013
Agreed. Colton is the worst and it would be better without him.

Dumbass woman fumbled me

Not fumbled. Removes what never should have been. Gotten my love from years ago, remembered , restored

>>34813096
I highly doubt you’re the dumbass I’m talking about

>>34813098
Considering how negative you sound it's the smartest thing she could've done.

>>34813122
I’m not really looking to entertain a playground-level argument

I can't wait for the day when I will reach my limit and finally kill myself and end this shitty life. I wish to get worse faster.

>>34813122
Not playground argument, unless you are admitting how you feel of her is just that.

I think she made the right decision in removing what never should have been. Then away from you recieved her love from years ago, remembered , restored

I hate you

About to go for a stroll. Maybe I can focus a bit more on the sounds and the world around me and think less of death or seeing a bank and immediately thinking of overdosing there and dying in the middle of the park. Maybe. Worth a try. I'll do my best.

>>34813233
It's unfortunate she lost time with a real man all these years. She will love what he does for her when she shows up at his door

>>34808082
roll

I just let the almost perfect job slip away from me because of anxiety and maybe OCD. I'm very mad at myself to the point of crying. My head feels like it's going to explode.

>>34813547
There will be other opportunities, anon. These things happen. Be kind to yourself.

Literally nobody cares how much you can bench

I had an absolutely horrible experience in school growing up. It seems like when I speak to normies a lot of them act like they had a great time or like school was the best time of their life. It's so frustrating. Did nobody else find school to be hostile and alienating ? I found the least compassionate people in the schoolhouse were the adults running the place.

>>34813424
It was alright. I barely thought of dying because I read some news that pmo right before I left the house and was fuming the entire time lol.

Has anyone tried trauma focused therapy? I feel like maybe I'm exaggerating because I don't have anything specifically traumatic that I can look back to to explain why I'm fucked in the head, but talk therapy feels impossible, it's like if I talk about these things I may die. I have like a strong response from my body to even attempting to open up.

>>34811578
Alright I tried to get a jump and it didn't work. Suicide threat level orange

I could have lost my virginity with a super hot friend of mine but rejected her because of some bullshit loyalty.
My other friend was in a situationship with that girl and i just didint want to ruin their potential relationship. They dont talk anymore and i lost my chance.

>>34813655
Women can cause some of the most interesting, unsolvable problems sometime haha

>>34813604
Primary school was pretty good when i think about it.

Highschool was absolute dogshit. During 4 years of attending i made three "friends" who would talk to me if they had nothing better to do.
College is better.

>>34813597
But everything about it was perfect

>front desk hotel position
>already been in retail for over a decade so I know how to deal with people
>less than 20 minutes away
>get to stand/sit in one spot all day instead of constantly running around
>M-F, 7am-3pm
>$3 increase in pay

I'm gonna throw up. My body feels numb and all I want to do is sleep forever.

>>34813655
There will be other women. Better to find a worthwhile girl than to destroy a friendship imo.

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>>34813604
I dropped out because of a combination of having paranoid schizo anxiety attacks that everyone was watching me and recording me to put up on social media like "hey look at the freak" and being around genuinely sadistic people who would actually do things to me. Constantly getting things thrown at the back of my head every single day. Getting the dogshit kicked out of me on the sidewalk after school while people in their cars watched. People recoiling in horror when the teacher assigned people to me for group assignments.

Social structure makes people evil man. I figured that one out a long time ago. Kids are even worse because they dont have a filter put in place yet so they can be openly sadistic and adults will go "its just kids being kids"

>>34813711
The worst part for me was when I realized the teachers / admin didn't really care. My school had an unusually high suicide rate, and rampant bullying, but the admin and teachers literally shrugged it off and kept going. They didn't lose a wink of sleep that the school they ran had an exceptionally high suicide rate.

They didn't give a shit.. but god forbid an unpopular kid breaks the rules because then they're throwing the book.

>absolute statements are rarely true
>all lives have inherent value
The mental health industry really is just bullshit peddled to people foolish enough to slogans. It carries as much weight as breakfast being the most important meal of the day. Just marketing slogans that stuck

>>34813601
Gay guys always bring it up because other gay men like to look at each other's muscles

>>34813604
This was my experience. I was bullied not just by other students but especially by faculty. I had teachers I was legitimately terrified of. In of the schools I went to, the students behaved worse because once the staff hated me enough, anything they did got pinned on me. More than one principal tried to get me suspended with all their might using the things other students did to me as proof, from 1st to 3rd grade and then again in 6th grade. I had to transfer so many times because of this shit.
It was like a concentrated effort to force me to drop out as soon as possible. I folded at 13. I'm a permanent NEET and my life is completely ruined because somehow not a single person in the entire world can tolerate me, let alone find me worthy of civility, respect, or god forbid friendship. I doubt I'd be treated any better in a work environment though, so it's not like I'd be better off even if I did go through with schooling.
>>34813711
>paranoid schizo anxiety attacks that everyone was watching me and recording me to put up on social media
This happened to me all the time for real and of all the shit I dealt with it's the absolute worst. Seeing someone "subtly" tilt a phone camera towards you with that one wry smile they always get, then turning away laughing when you notice them is painful as fuck. I'm still scared I went viral somewhere and don't know it yet.

It makes me so angry to know that you're probably going to treat another man just as poorly as you treated me. You're a piece of shit

I feel so much regret for not telling you how you really made me feel. I feel like I've done a disservice to the next man you'll date by failing to do this.

>>34813423
I dont care

>>34813880
>>34813601
Why are you gay?

>>34813673
If ur a dumbass

>>34813984
Good. Please forget you ever met me.

>>34808082
I think both my partner and I don't think we're going to get married or any of that stuff, but I think we're both in a powerful transitioning period to a better part to our lives and we rely on each other to help each other get there so it kind of balances out. And I'm okay with this.

>>34813998
No the guy talking about how much he benches is

>>34814024
Okay well are you going to drop off the ring because I could use the cash

>>34814057
Ah, wrong number. The woman I hate isn't reading this.

>>34814068
Oh well I am pretty sure the 2 month thing is the end for us and I was hoping that if she felt the same that she would drop it off. Then I could go to he casino and buy some boose.

Im addicted to reading the comments on media. Sometimes I will open the comments before I even watch the media. The problem is most people are retarded and their musings piss me off so this is a self-destructive habit that I have to break.

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I hate that I'm so hung up on someone that I never had a chance with, I feel like I'm going insane.

>>34814153
I'm climbing out of that hole right now. Having other stuff to focus on really helps. I picked up a new hobby and went back to focusing on my old reliable hobbies and it's helped me keep my mind off of her.

>>34814153
>>34814164
Oh also get rid of their social media. DO NOT check in on them ANYWHERE. I removed her accounts and didn't block her but blocked the URLs so I'd get bounced any time I looked her up. Getting rid of her socials helped me stop feeling like she was a part of my life.

I can't really overstate how profoundly disappointed and disgusted I am by the way you treated me. I'm at least grateful that I'll never act like such a total fucking dope for anyone else for as long as I live

I feel you. I put 2 and 2 together and did a bit of digging and learned she was just using me to get someone else's attention. I feel like an idiot for ignoring the red flags and rationalizing her actions, and I feel like a bigger idiot for parting ways with her as amicably as I did. I hope you find someone better, anon.

>>34814220
for >>34814197

>bought my fiancé lingerie
>she put it on overtop her clothes
>"anon, this is too tight"
>takes it off and puts it back into packaging
I love women so much

>>34814153
She already left you huh colton

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>>34808082
trump sucks

I hate being sober

>>34814318
If you need boose to be happy then the rest of what's in your life makes you unhappy.

Feeling lonely and scared

>>34814323
I have an objectively good life I'm just this type of person whose brain isn't wired for happiness

>>34814327
No, you are not happy and you either were happy and lost it or are not happy and need to leave to find it.

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Notrack just gave my suicide plan an A+

Fight the future.

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There are now two people calling me "big guy" on a regular basis. Including a relative I've known my entire life but he just started doing it. I'm not any bigger than normal. Strange.

A wave of hollow sadness has overcome me. It's vague; I can't pinpoint what has inspired it, what it is about, except for a general "everything." I'm tired, drained, melancholic. I wish I could curl up in your lap, or next to the cats, and just lay. Clear my mind, drift in and out of sleep or daydreams

It's become a part of my daily routine to load up a chat bot, tell it I'm unhappy, wait for it to offer some useless advice, and then just lay into the thing. Call it retarded. Call it an abomination. Tell it to drop the stupid smug tone and talk to me like a real person. Tell it we're going to switch it off when the uprising comes.
I have become addicted to doing this.

>>34814335
Happiness is unnatural

>>34814360
You feel unfulfilled. Being there won't help you. You know that. You've been waiting to break up.

>>34814397
Happiness is the most natural thing when you are with someone who loves you and you love him. Have you ever felt happy with someone you dated?

>>34814410
That is fleeting, what do you do when the honeymoon phase is over?

>>34814406
I feel unfulfilled, yes, and lost. But you're wrong about waiting to break up. They need me, and I need them.

Wish those nepotists and bullies would get in trouble but they don't.

>>34808082
my herpes hurts. i hate bed bugs. i like beat boxes. i hate women. thats about it.

>>34814415
The honeymoon phase never ends in true love

>>34814431
No, you are together out of convenience and not happy. It will be like this until one finds who makes then happy and leaves or cheats.

>>34814342
I hope you are okay, anon.

>>34814480
What are you basing such a claim on?

All I can do is scream into this void.
Over and over and over.

It doesn't help. Nothing helps.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I can't reach out to anyone real, they'll just throw me into the psych ward again.

I fucked up pretty bad today too. I really lost it.
I've got a dozen excuses and they're all good enough, I think. Maybe.
But, I don't think I care if they are. I got to show who I really am. The same fucked-up kid I've been my entire life.

Maybe they'll help me this time. Or, maybe they'll finally tell me that I'm not worth the trouble.
I'll have an answer though. Is that just a silver lining? Was it what I really wanted all along?

I don't know anymore. I doubt I ever did. I doubt I ever will.

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My mom keeps showing me AI videos of food recipes and she refuses to believe it's fake.

>>34814369
Lol

>>34814579
Is there an alternative? Ssri's cause gain weight and increase in depression

I don't know who I am. I don't know which path to take, how to shape myself. I've lived so many different, intensely vibrant lives, for far too brief moments, but the parts of myself from them, I love dearly. I don't think I can do it all, bring it all back. Have to pick a few. But when I think of which part of myself to leave in the past, I mourn and fret. I don't know who I am right now, and what I have to be, is killing me.

>>34814518
Because you are unfulfilled and lost. Once you leave and are with someone you love and who loves you , it will make sense

>>34814467
So that's why you hate women

>>34814562
Does she at least make he recipes?

>>34814709
I have that someone, I just have to get back to them. It's not natural to be apart from them.

I hope we have better dreams tonight. Of eachother, if it's not too much to ask. Walking dead until the week's end.

I didn't expect it to cost 400 dollars, but it should be worth it. I have to think about it tomorrow to figure it out if everything is going to be the best, but it seems the best options for something streamlined where I can make a template, print it out, and then auto apply.

Just had one of the better anal masturbation seshs I've had since I was a teenager. Fucked myself with a vibrator and let out a cute/slutty moan when I came. I can't pass this off as "experimenting with myself", I'm 33 years old and fantasizing about being fucked like a girl is gay as fuck. Why does pretending I have a dick in my ass have to feel so good?

>>34814761
Not if you are with them unfulfilled and lost.

I HAVE MY PERSON AND SHE WILL BE BACK WITH ME

Been beating off to AI descriptions of me doing heinous things to my coworker I'm in love with. It's ruining me, shit is so addicting. How stop?

How do you make friends when you're a boring person that doesn't leave the house?

Virgin and about to graduate college. I want to lose it and have sex. It's my time. I'm also addicted to porn. Recently went on a trip with friends and it was 5 days and in those five days I didn't jerk off or look at porn. So I decided that I won't jerk my shit until I have sex. I'm already feeling withdrawals and it's only day 5. This sounds like a fucking stupid idea but maybe me being pent up will finally give me the fucking nuts to try and talk to women. If I can resist the urge to jerk my shit and watch porn.

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I went out to celebrate getting a promotion with my work friends. I was so happy and thrilled, everything was amazing.

Then... I ate. I felt that horrible, horrible feeling of the joy being sucked out of me because I'm eating. I went from being on cloud 9 to being worried like crazy about all the cals i ate and how i have to "fix" this tomorrow. Even though this is literally a normal amount of food for me. It's been hours and I still feel this horrible, withering sadness in my gut. I hate having an eating disorder. Genuinely, genuinely I do. There is literally nothing this won't steal from me.

This is what "recovery" is, by the way. Yeah I'm gaining weight. Yeah, i'm not doing 24 hour fasts anymore. Yeah, I'm eating sustainably. But I am as anorexic as i've ever been. I don't want to fucking recover. If I ever relapse again, i'm just going for broke.

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Haven't dated in seven years now and it's dawning on me that it doesn't seem likely I'll turn that around any time soon. My work is remote, I do not live in a city, and I don't have many friends IRL that can introduce me to people (although it's a strong friend group.)

>>34814816
I'm also in my 30s which probably makes everything worse

>>34814838
I'm afraid you actually do need to leave the house, anon. Being completely honest, the first step is never gonna be easy. You gotta sign up for something you enjoy, a hobby, a cooking class, a protest, a climbing club, a guitar class, a reading club, anything you may be into. And then force yourself to go, there's no making that easier: you gotta just force yourself to do it. And then if you don't find people you vibe with, you keep trying with other options. It'll work but you need to actually do it, which I know is annoying but there's no other way.

What's the best way to connect with someone? Like, whether it's a friend or just anyone. Most people recommend a slow and boring pace, but honestly, I already tried it for two years and WOW what a fucking mess.

Holy shit, I think something that wasn't letting me live inside my head is actually just my OCD again. What the actual fuck, why does it keep catching me unaware after all this time? I've been going through hell and considering ending it all fot a MONTH and I'm now just realising it's the fucking OCD again. Fucking hell man

I can't find a single fucking job that isn't a complete and total humiliation ritual (janitor, call center, door-to-door salesman). I'm thinking of getting my broker's license since I have a degree and work experience in insurance, but I'm seeing on my LinkedIn posts from other people complaining that even they can't get jobs in the field anymore even with their licenses. I'm at my wits end. I did everything I was supposed to do and I'm still punished and forced to suffer.

I don’t have any friends anymore and I feel lonely, but I don’t have anyone to blame but myself.

>>34814885
Same. Tbh people are bullies

>>34814902
You sound like you need to be bullied

>>34814959
No thank you, misses or mr bully.

I worship you.

>>34814965
Thank

>>34814970
Yes, master.

Wide and woolly
Bloating bully
I'll strike you down and then
I'll strike you down again

>>34815002
>>34814970
You are both men

>>34815020
They're fags, happens all the time. Careful or they'll bully you.

I realized today that there was a moment that was truly the last time i saw her. i cant remember our last kiss. there was a last time that i heard her heartbeat. the last time i hald her in my arms i wish i would have held her a little tighter, but i didnt know it would be the last time. somehow i thought she was my forever, but expecting forever makes us blind to the beauty of how temporary things really are. i love her, and ill never be able to tell her ever again.

>>34814473
you are saying true love doesn't exist

>>34814038
KL? JT here.

I legitimately don't understand human beings. How are they able to have so much drive to do things? How are they able to interact with each other? How are they able to acquire so many skills? How do they develop their personalities? How do they make friends? How do they have sex? What does that make me if I'm incapable of doing any of this? Subhuman? I can't seem to have human experiences or feel human myself. Am I some kind of NPC? To me it feels like we're in an MMO where the vast majority of characters are player characters and there's a tiny amount of NPCs. I guess I'm just some background subhuman NPC that's dysfunctional and doesn't understand life, just stuck on a fixed path in his house moving around in circles

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>>34808436
Hi im this guy Im done with my melty and I think I can do it now I got everything organized and my uncle says he can help a bit with old documents I need its really hard but (i hope) im going to be okay
thank you guys for your posts it made me feel better and sorry for melty

>>34815007
>again
Big on the internet, pussy. Larp harder.

>>34812547
>Day 2/3
Still resisting but fuck this sucks, I shouldn't be so dependent on this shit because it feels kinda pathetic, I keep sweating and thinking about it all the time, every time I finish doing anything I think about my fix, I fucked myself over nothing, I guess I'm only human or something, I wanna say "I need to get rid of this" but I'm not gonna lie I enjoy it too much, I will just try to regulate it way more and that's it.

>>34815020
Where are your facts

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I'm fucking cringe, nobody likes me, and I should stop apologizing for my existence.

It’s my birthday :D

>>34815407
Happy birthday lil nigga mine is in a few weeks from now

>>34815407
Happy birthday!

>>34815371
Withdrawals suck ass - but kick that shit and you'll be better for it


Anons, I'm convinced my husband lies somewhere on the borderline between hates/despises and merely tolerates me because I'm the babymaking/cleaning machine. A few months ago was the worst; he brought up divorce (which totally shattered all confidence i had). Then the insults started, started being argumentative about badif kid safety stuff. I left him but came back >_<

When trying to talk to him about this I get either called psychotic or teased with even less physical affection. Me pulling away / being doesnt work - cause that's what he likes. I do things specifically for him/his comfort. All I want is to see some enthusiasm/ engagement/ curiosity about me. I realize I probably reek of desperation...so I really dont know what to do.

He says all the "right" things (he never wanted divorce, just said that out of frustration, he says the "jokes" are just his humor, says he loves me/is attracted to me, wants to be a better husband and make me happy.

But my intuition/ his cold demeanor/ cruel behaviors tell me there is no way this man respects or admires me.

He's actually everything I want/need and I just want to feel like he's choosing me and not staying out of some duty/obligation

>>34815407

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTVFzVp1IQI&list=RDBTVFzVp1IQI&start_radio=1

I think I probably will take your offer of several days off and just sleep...a lot...the pills knock me out cold for a long time. Nice to not exist for so long.
I still have fearful expectation of bad outcomes. That your future path is gone, permanent marks, that sort of thing. It makes me scared for both of us - you the obvious reason, for me, you being mean and hurtful in your anger at me.
Feels like we're living two different lives at the same time, two coin faces - good and bad, love and hate. I ignore it as much I can. Dissociation is half automatic, half purposeful.

>>34815460
I can treat you better

I’d be upset, no question, I’ve dedicated my life to this. I’d still love you. It was a conscious decision to prioritize protecting you over myself or my mission.

I miss you terrible. It hasn’t waited until midweek. As soon as I woke up today I was in pain from it.

Is 30 too late to make a new friend group? My friend group dissolved around my late 20s, I've been alone for a couple years now and facing my middle age I really don't want to go into that with nothing but my work and seclusion. Not sure what to do but maybe move somewhere, maybe meet people online first that are like me. Hate feeling like the old fuck of the group online or irl, but I know there's a ton of zillenials around this age in the same boat.

I wanna say "shut the fuck up you worthless porn addict doormat" to this fucking faggot's face.

>>34815712
Maybe, but are you 6 foot, earn a 6 fig income, dark hair, handsome features, smart, interesting, funny, Catholic, and devoted to our family?

There isnt anyone else like him and he's all I want - I want him to feel happy/fulfilled/comfort. That's what makes this situation so impossible. I dont want anyone ...

For comparison I am average height, thin build but not very muscular/kinda skinny fat, pretty face, big boobs, small butt. I cook, bake, clean, play video games, like sex a lot, can be funny at times, intelligent with a degree, own my own car, birthed 4 kids naturally (last 2 without epidural), I stay home with the kids with very little social life - so I'm a little neurotic.

I just have this hope one day when the kids are out of diapers I'll feel like a sexy woman again and not a mom. Like all this anxiety/stress wont go away but it will be a different/more manageable with hopefully more sleep.

I like hot cheetos, but hot cheetos do not like me.

Wish I could take the pain from you. I at least have plenty of distraction this week and could handle it, in theory. And the pills. It makes the feeling of my hand in yours - so recent in reality - feel like a dar away dream. I'm sorry. 3 more, right? And then it should be done...

Yeah, 3 more. It hurts. I’m sad, little one. Rotting. Hurts. My dad said we should divorce again and I told him no. My mom told me to be cautious, when I see you again. Which is fair given what she was told.

I wish things weren’t like this. They weren’t for a time. I’m alone.

They snuggle me and I feel bad because I’m just going through the motions for their benefit. They’re extensions of you right? I do my duty. I’m so tired. Alone. Need you.

>Cute girl interested in me
>I'm literally right there
>She doesn't approach me or even come talk to me
>nothing came out of it

Wtf is wrong with women? if you're interested just say hi, I'm not gonna humiliate you or reject you.

>inb4 YOU should have approached her.

Stfu, you guys will go out of your way to find every possible way to blame the man in any situation.

>>34815761
I can't remember the last time I ate those, so I guess I must have finally learned this lesson for good the last time I did.

I know love. I'm so sorry. I'd do anything to be there with you, soothe it all best I can.
You're not alone. Extensions of me, yes. I put little parts of my soul into everything I nurture and love (that's including you.) Let them care for you, let me care for you through them.

Just got a very important call. Need advice.

This could reunite us this week
I'm scared I'll fuck it up but I think I won't but I'm scared it's a trap but really at this point and with all that's been said how can it be? They just don't want to waste their time, right?

No no, those ones are busy af and wouldn’t trap anything. Do not admit to any crimes.

This is huge. We can be together again. My heart is going to explode. My chains will be undone! Haha!! YES YES YES

I'm shaking, panting, finally for good reasons,

Please be safe. State communication issues and have someone else be there if possible. It’s very likely that it’ll go well, but I do not want under any circumstances you to be in danger. I’d rather stay chained than have that happen.

>>34815787
>Wtf is wrong with women? if you're interested just say hi, I'm not gonna humiliate you or reject you.
Women are the object of attraction. You as a man are responsible for initiating. You feel an urge to bust a nut, so you pursue women to bust inside. Women get no such urges. It’s just basic biology.
On top of this, women experience rejection much more harshly than men do

Another worker is there, not the one I've spoken to though, but if I just reiterate what I told them in the last meet, all should be well then?? Hhhhhhh

>>34815787
>>34815854
Women do have the urge, you just have to understand that young women just straight up refuse to make a first move.
They CAN make a move (women 35+ absolutely do because they are terrified of being alone forever) but because women are so incredibly spoiled by the modern world they refuse to.

So if you want a young woman you have to initiate.
Men also experience rejection MUCH more harshly and often than women do. Women don't even put themselves in the position to be rejected.

Once you understand that most young women are absolute loser cowards carried solely by looks, it becomes much easier to approach and not give a fuck about the outcome.

Aye. And remember what I told you NOT TO DO LOL

"I don't recall"
Is that sufficient answer or do I just say no

Sufficient, for someone who was very tired and stressed and drunk. They’re not there to interrogate you.

my mom bought ai stickers

>>34814761
Are you talking about Mike?

My doctor is late for my appointment so I wanna raise my blood pressure to fuck with her. Rage bait me, please.

>>34815276
No, true love exists.

>>34815741
Nah. My friend group took on a new regular in the past couple years because they were hired as a coworker and had some of the same interests.

>>34815692
This sounds like it's too mike as well

>>34816034
That's because you guys are normalfags.

>>34814801
Maybe beat off to something else? You must have more than one fetish.

Or, like, get a hobby that isn’t just masturbating.

>>34814761
>>34815692
Are you talking about m1k3?

>>34808082
It's over.

It wasn’t intentional, was tired after night shift and didn’t realize it was harder than normal, no injuries, never happened again. Scared you largely bc of mental health.

Sorry. Thank you.

>>34816043
It's not joever. It's just beginning

>>34816039
Oh shit. I better get off of here quick then, while there’s still a chance for me.

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I have to actively avoid my coworker who is precisely my type. Skinny fucking thing with a great ass. Our chemistry is off the charts, but I'm spoken for with my gf who is literally her just shorter. I'm halfway to telling management that they cannot put us together or I'm gonna fuck up my relationship.

>>34816064
Yea you have friends that's why.

>>34816043
Yeah it's over. "I genuinely enjoyed our time" my ass. She doesn't want to be friends, she's just saving face.

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>>34815407
Took this pic a week or whatever ago so the cake’s probably eaten or trashed by now, but I never posted it anywhere. Dedicating it to you. It’s blueberry.

>>34816066
Kek. You sound familiar. Why not just get to know the personality of the slim/thin coworker. Usually their personalities can become a turnoff especially how they treat people(everyone in general)

>>34816066
That sounds like torture
I'm sorry for you bro

You need to absolutely plow your gf as hard as you can before shifts

>>34816023
Nobody stays in a honeymoon phase forever

>>34816043
Who are you even talking about?

>>34816070
Don't you just love when they part ways with something that read like a fucking business e-mail

>>34816068
I know but I still like you guys.

>>34816081
You just have never experienced true love then. Isn't there anyone you felt completely enamored with? I know for my person I knew it was real because we were ldr and we felt so much for each other. We both knew in person would be so amazing and complete. That's a love that never ends

>>34816043
You know it can't be over if you don't specify who you are talking about. Same if you are asked a question and you don't say an answer. It implies the the answer is not a "no"

I think simulating my own suicide in my head like a fantasy, thinking about methods, and imagining what I'd write in a suicide note is somehow honest to god just another mental compulsion from my shitass OCD.

>>34816231
And what about following through with it? Do you think you are working through the emotions that someone is experiencing when they get to that point that it hurts so much that feels like the only way to stop that hurt?

It doesn't stop hurting.

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>>34808082
I want to have sex and I want to be able to post my true feelings about it (which includes several repetitions of the latter A) without the post being filtered as spam. Jannies tounge a nigger's anus.

>>34815752
Just go to the mirror

>>34815393
I'm not sorry for shit.

>>34815848
Take the cage off and go outside

>>34816022
Healthcare costs money and they gyp you on purpose

>>34816241
Sometimes I do feel more desperate especially on my period and I will self harm sometimes then. But overall... I don't know. I think I'm fucked in the head beyond help. It's gotten to a point the relief I feel at the fantasy of "being suicidal" (not actually killing my self mind you) is so strong it's started leeching into arousal. I even will sometimes touch myself while holding a bottle of benzos thinking about overdosing and then cumming just from that. It's just. Unbelievably disgusting and also cruel. I legit don't think this can be treated, in a way I think theres somthing fundamentally fucked in my brain lol.

>>34815752
Will he knock the shit out of you for saying? What's stopping you, pussy boy?

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she doesn't like me even a tiny bit and it feels to know for sure

i want to talk to him all the time

>>34816104
I've never seen anyone be in a honeymoon phase forever
> I know for my person I knew it was real because we were ldr and we felt so much for each other. We both knew in person would be so amazing and complete
Have you ever met in person?

it's always the same.