I don't think you should be so harsh on yourself, you should just work this job while you have to and maybe reconsider teaching or maybe look at positions open to you at your local museums or university.
I would invest in black out curtains, those daylight lamps, and maybe otc sleep aids.
Don't use any screens atleast 30 mins before trying to sleep. And if you really need to maybe just get a weed pen.

>>34824852
Unironically meth

>>34825007
Thanks, but teaching and law are basically the sinks for History guys, and i've lost interest in both. Positions in Unis or Museums are all very well and good but they're rare and hotly contested between the Russel Group grads (our version of Ivy League). My Uni rank is lower 30s, just outside, and i've no misconceptions about not being part of that boy's club. I spent a while doing teacher training, even managing to secure a pretty hot placement at a grammar school, but quickly realised that my love of the subject and positive memories about my own teachers did not translate into a love of school, or students in particular. Didn't hate the kids, but wasn't ever really able to connect with any of them, something I couldn't have found out until I was in that classroom, I guess. it all kind of reflected back at me at once, and I realised that I've been pushing through school and education, far longer than my parents or my idiot brother ever did, for very little gain. I am not particularly academic, everything I have now has been by the skin of my teeth, and desu it's still not much to look at. I'm not sad about it though, I actually feel quite okay about leaving education behind, getting stuck in somewhere, and working to afford my own corner of the world to die in. It's my rightful position and I welcome it gladly. Thank you for your other recommendations.

>>34825040
Dunno where i'd get it. Not even sure if I could tell what it looks like.

>>34825046
i had a similar experience, studied english lit and history, planned on becoming a teacher, did my round of placements and realised, like you, that i don't like kids

i'd be cautious about nightshift factory grunt work, i've done it before. i was already a night owl so the sleep cycle thing fit naturally, but the annihilation of even the potential of daylight from my schedule did take its toll. if you do it, keep looking for something else in the mean time, being a factory grunt long term will rape your soul, nightshift or not.
eat well, sleep well >>34825007, take care of yourself, make sure you still get out a lot in daylight hours when you can, vitamins, keep active, sleep well, sleep well, sleep well. for the love of god sleep well. you gotta commit to nightshift, it's a lifestyle not just a job.


there are still prospects, even if your degree itself might seem bleak - having a degree at all demonstrates that you can apply yourself and commit to something long term, and also that you're educated (literally) and can navigate and are comfortable with complex things. these are still very valuable in any field. try to have an attitude of "i'll try anything once, and i never know where i might find what i'm looking for so i may as well look anywhere and everywhere". admin/clerical work (libraries, small business bookkeeping, medical admin), writing (surprisingly wide field desu, maybe even start up a substack if you think you've got the chops for it), editorial work, journalism, archival work, there's lots

trust me, the grindstone can feel nice in a masochistic way, but it will destroy you long term
take care brother

>>34826011
I appreciate your candor, and it's nice to see someone whose experience so neatly matches my own. I don't intend to slave away in the wee hours until i become a Ghoul, the parent company offers some additional training and I was hoping to leverage my degree to break into a managerial role, or take up a new discipline. For now, It's a well in the middle of a drought, and although I hear nothing good from nightshift workers, the way I see it, it's a commitment and a lifestyle. I don't have much in the way of social responsibilities, and a few years of grunt work, 4chan, and videogames sounds just fine to me. They stressed that there's ways for employees to switch off nights, it just takes time, and that's one thing I have in copious supply. I do genuinely have a fascination with logistics, my brand of 'tism seems to stir at the idea of infrastructure, the movement of resources and keeping accounts clean. I wanted to work as a Longshoreman when I was younger, but If I can't do ships and sullen salt-smacked faces, then I'll do pallets and immigrants instead, not as romantic, but it works enough.

I don't think my degree is useless as much as I think that all degrees have been devalued into hell. Before History, I was at a nice Business School in my part of England, big draw for high-paying international students. A few years on, all those guys are doing 'sales', or selling insurance over the phone. The whole thing is fucked. I know it's a huge lifestyle change, and maybe It isn't during a period of peak mental health, but no one likes their job, everyone thinks they could've done more, we all just pick our copes and find our footing to carry on. If any of your described jobs aren't devoured by the 2m un(der)employed art grads, then maybe i'll see. For now, it just seems I need to keep on top of my health, and try to adapt to a new schedule. Like with any job, I suppose.

You take care of yourself as well, If we're anything alike.

>>34826818
>I do genuinely have a fascination with logistics
I totally understand that, I've always been fascinated by that too but I took a "read economic theory about it and play shitloads of factorio" angle and after doing the actual grunt work I just couldnt hack it anymore. Im also rather unfit though so it was always really draining for me

>I wanted to work as a Longshoreman
When I was in Europe a few years ago I met some guy who told me that when he was 18 he managed to find work on a fishing boat then used that experience to shuffle around various nautical work (cruise ships, private yachts, shipping, whatever) and had spent 10 years never being on land for more than like 3 months at a time and had been all around the world. I wanted to get fit and do something similar immediately, but I made the wise judgement that I'm probably not cut out for it. The romance of the sea is so real and I still think "what if I just worked on a boat and left..." from time to time

>It's a commitment and a lifestyle
It is but it can be decent and workable if youre can work around it. your weekends can become really packed, in both directions
>all errands that require stores open during the day happen on weekends
>but nightlife is bumping

>'sales' or selling insurance over the phone
bleak state of affairs desu, seems like everyone in insurance and sales is either miserable, or soulless and loves working in an industry geared around preying on their fears or 'upselling' them on snake oil
>leverage my degree to break into a managerial role
That's what I was talking about, that's the right attitude.

also
>father's dissapointing stares from across the kitchen table
it's brutal innit. you get taught your whole life to haul arse and hustle, do all the hard work, then the economy breaks but parents still think you're just a flunky or some shit. breaks your damn heart. You seem like you've got a good head on you and that you'll figure it out. God speed

>>34824852
Maybe just do that and some freeform tutoring gigs on the side so you still exercise a bit of people skill and domain skill? And don't go full detaching off of society