Been extremely close with a married coworker for a few years. We became best friends but at a certain point, crossed a lot of boundaries—heavy flirting, physical/sexual stuff, constant texting, nudes, deep emotional intimacy. Basically an affair without sex.At our peak she pursued me just as much as I pursued her. Over the entire last year that’s changed after she set a boundary with me. She still calls me her best friend, says she loves me, worries about losing me, is affectionate, and says she wants us close—but I initiate most conversations/plans now. Her words and actions don’t match. She refuses to acknowledge the affair as ever happening; acts weird with me some days, distant, focuses on a new guy at work, etc. She doesn’t put in the effort she used to, and it feels like she never will. I posted about this a long time ago. Some days it’s good, we’re close, joking, affectionate. Some days it’s weird. Also I noticed i’m getting jealous of her showing new interest in a different coworker; he’s getting energy that I used to get without the flirting. It makes me anxious. What do I do? I wanna fuck her. I want her to act how she used to with me. But realistically i’m aware there’s not much I can really do to modify another human’s behavior. Just sucks. Any advice? I’m trying to just “get over her” but we work pretty closely.
>>34825953I'd transfer to a different job. Better than being constantly tempted to be a homewrecker
>>34825961Not possible til next year.
>>34825953>after she set a boundary with meYou breezed right past that part. What happened there? What did you do?If you don’t want to tell the story:Yeah I’d just ignore her at this point. Whether you want to directly acknowledge it or not, you know full well she’s moved this affection to that other guy at work. And now she’s not texting you first because she’s busy texting him.But she was never really “yours” to begin with, using possessive particularly lightly there. I mean, obviously she’s not anybody’s, not even her husband’s. But she said some vows that she was in front of her family and his.I don't know man she really doesn’t sound all that great at all.
>>34826091She felt guilty - that was the boundary. But then we continued anyways.
>>34826140Even all moralfagging aside, fucking around with married women is dangerous to you for several reasons. I mean yeah she might have a total pussy husband or something but you have no fuckin’ clue how crazy that guy is or if he has a gun or whatever the fuck. You can straight up just get sneak attacked or something and being strong wouldn’t even help. Dudes get THAT mad about the cheating.But it’s also dangerous to your own emotional state. You can lose her with no closure at any possible second. Whether she decides something about her relationship at home or moves the affairs elsewhere, she’s not really even going to see it as a situation where you are entitled to a full explanation. She lives for her. That should be pretty apparent by now.
>>34826152Yeah but now my question is - how do I get over this?
>>34826165One thing that helps anybody who gets “broken up with” or anything similar is to objectively look at the situation and see the other person was truly not all that great. You have leftover idealism and stuff and you didn’t have a proper “breakup” to kill all those feelings for you. But trust me, she would have killed those feelings for you if she decided to give you an explanation. You’re talking about a lady who is obviously just slutting around for one reason or another. The only thing that was special about her was giving you attention and other women will do that for you. They might even be telling you the truth about caring for YOU.
>>34826165you should feel kinda chad for being the guy that a woman used to get what she wasn't getting from her husband but move on, you should also feel lucky it didn't go too far for both your sakes as well as her husbands. cut her out of your life and move jobs if it's that big of a deal, physical separation is the only real way
>>34826176Any tips on coping with the pain considering I have to see her every day? Considering she thinks of me (or says I am) her close friend?Considering she calls me out every time I act weird/dry/cold?
lmao her shifting her attention to another dude is a good thingyou don't fuck around with married chicks bromatch her energy, nothing more
>>34826200>Considering she calls me out every time I act weird/dry/cold?I guess my question is: why does she get to do that to you? Her actions don’t match her words and she backed off without an explanation. She’s colder now on puropose and giving the other dude that attention but she’s going to probe and find out every single time -you- don't respond the way to which she became accustomed? What the fuck? Dude. She knows EXACTLY what she is doing. If she asks why you’re cold just give her a bullshit answer. Or none at all- that’s what she thinks you deserve.
>>34826328It hurt so much. I feel humiliated. She acknowledges how good of a time she has with the other guy and i’m asking for reassurance I don’t deserve nor need, and definitely doesn’t give it to me, instead she’s smiling as I expressed that I miss being close to her, and she pays it no mind.
>>34826438lmaoJust completely cut this woman off no contact, jesusignore her at work, she's going to be the death of you
>>34826443so i’m in a lose-lose situation?
>>34826475The moment you started fucking with a married woman you entered an unwinnable game You're actually lucky as fuck there's a way out of this with her messing with another guyYou have oneitis for this chick because your life sucksIf you were meeting new girls every weekend you wouldn't care about some married coworker dude
>>34826481So, I don’t really know how to cope with this pain
>>34826165Get over what?You both used each other for excitement. The fun is over. Stop being her emotional tampon. She isn't your friend. She isn't your lover. It's over. Accept it and cut contact. Just like all wounds, time heals it so you'll be alright down the road.In the event she comes back or asks why you're being distant, just tell her you don't think things will be like they use to and you want to move on.
>>34826497Fix your life. You have oneitis over a married woman, dude. Don't you realize how pathetic that is?You have ONEITIS for ANOTHER DUDE'S GIRL. If you were meeting new women every week you would not give a shit about a married coworker. You are clearly not meeting new women consistently.
>>34825953Sounds like you didn't escalate when you were given the opportunity, and now it is over. You are in the friendzone. Better luck next time.
>>34826438>>34826475>>34826497Brother, can we at least get a pic of her or something at this point? Let the court of public opinion decide if she’s hot enough to smother your sanity here
>>34826475Lmao dude life isn't a video game where your negative perks come with positive trade offs. Sometimes you fuck up (which you did) and you get jack diddly shit because of it. Yes. You're in a lose-lose because you actively pursued a married check. It is your fault. Get over yourself.
>>34826165See her for the cheating piece of shit that she is and be thankful that she is out of your life. Find another woman. One who is single preferably.
>>34825953You should follow the diagram and set up some bait that she sniffs and eats then chokes to death then you can finally get your wish and fuck her dead corpse, everyone wins
>>34825953she wanted you to make a move, you didnt, she moved on to the next guyyou should move on too, that window closed and it'll not open up again
>>34825953For the last 5 years I only fuck married women, 3 I worked with, but there are do's and don'ts and you fail. One universal don't regardless of her marital status is don't shit where you eat because the only real way out is one of you leave.All married women have a work "suitor". Guy that gives her attention and she can flirt with but she goes home to her life. Work or side suitor and home husband are two different worlds and women want to keep these in separate bubbles. They don't want a real relationship with side suitor even if they are fucking him. For her to leave her life is hard and in most cases she never intends to leave and loves her husband. When you profess love, become jealous and possessive, mention a life together they rationally withdraw, fearful her home and marriage may end by your hand.Quickest and easy way to get pussy is from a married woman that doesn't want to leave. Be the side guy with no emotional attachment she can have fun with. No guilt sexual romps and she goes home. When it ends it ends. You should be fucking other women because she is fucking her husband and likely other men too or at least cultivating another.
>>34825953 Just flirt with another woman in front of her, that's the best shot you have.
>>34826191>You should feel Chad because a married slut woman used you like a dildo and you grovel like a desperate dog before her You autistic retards don't know the meaning of Chad
>>34825953You deserve the entanglement, you chose it knowing exactly who and what she was, a cheating whore. You know cheating whores are emotionally unstable and psychotic especially the married ones because that kind of risk seeking is abnormal from women and the women who do this have got many screws loose, several. You are now in the emotional claws of an absolute crazy cunt. You won't find much sympathy from anyone because still your only concern is yourself and you whine about what you couldn't get from her. You've no consideration for your involvement in ruining another person's life and marriage. You deserve whatever happens next
