Long story short, was in leadership stuff in uni. Got many friends and held leadership positions. Had a public facing job for 4 years. No issues talking to new people. Didn't struggle w confidence at all (was probably actually cocky).Ended up going thru nearly a 4 year period of being isolated a lot, in hospitals w medical issues, and dealing with a horrible cheating partner. Totally blew up my confidence.I was able to get my shit together and want to continue on my life/career, but my social skills are completely cooked. Idk how to move forward w/o people thinking I'm weird for having an advanced degree/shit ton of resume experience yet now struggle to carry a simple convo and deal with w conflict. I look like a LARPerhelp.
>>34832775Read Psycho-Cybernetics, it will make you aware of the real issue.Then, if you still think you need some help, there are plenty of books that teach you proper social behavior.It's just that simple.
>>34832861Sounds interesting. I'll check it out.I've been watching YT/books w/o improvement. This topic sounds like my issue, though. ty
What exactly do you feel you're lacking in social skills? Do you get distracted easily during conversations or get emotionally reactive in weird ways? It doesn't sound like you need to learn social skills but just practice them again if you've had public-facing work in the past. Without getting an answer back yet, the one thing I'd say up front is that a pro for you even if it's a con for the rest of humanity is that basically everyone has turned into a more socially retarded, somewhat crueller version of themselves in the years since COVID, and a lot of people are much more socially awkward than they used to be, so you're not alone and it's also not hard if you're consciously thinking about these things to be kind of a stand-up guy in comparison with some focus.
>>34832986>why am I like thisits a multitude of things.most commonly is I cannot take any kind of pressure anymore. my heart races if im questioned or held accountable to anything. I feel like I get defensive and wanna flip out easily. I usually isolate when I feel this coming. even if I didn't do anything wrong.secondly is having no idea what to talk about with people. im awkward unless I have a few beers, then I chat all night. I tend to talk way too much or too little. I can tell when it's too much I suck the air out of the room. then I get nervous and talk even more. I lose control of my tongue. I can make people laugh but I can tell they're laughing at me.part of it also is my physical build rn. I gained about 40 lbs during this period. I look horrible physically. I used to attract women and now I dont even get looks. I think it's depression but im very tired and lethargic all the time so I struggle to consistently go to the gym and meal prep like im supposed to. caffeine gives me palpitations so that didn't help. I also have this weird obsession with being the center of attention, but once I have it, I have no idea how to handle it. I think im starting to grow out of this one, but it still affects my self esteem when I notice people dont seem interested in talking to me. idk whats going on w that.>covidyeah, I see that. It's kinda scary to see how antisocial people are. I think that messes with my compass on how I'm doing in a room as well.I'm also nervous because I'm starting a job within the next week or so where I have to go to peoples homes and be alone with them for hours. Socially anxious about handling that and looking dumb/incompetent and getting fired right away. This was the only job that gave me a shot after the past 5 months of looking.
>>34832775> Didn't struggle w confidence at all (was probably actually cocky).Then consider maybe you're actually a better person now who can actually relate and connect to other humans better than back then. So maybe your social skills ceiling has actually increased. Time to reach the new and heightened ceiling, then. A tempered and more mature version of the ignorant and cocky buffoon you once were.
