Finally I fucking finished where's everyone

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>>34834249

Sometimes you spend years being kind to someone, waiting for the smallest sign that they might finally choose you, only to realize that while you were carefully offering them a rose, they were already learning how to walk over it—and the hardest part isn’t losing them, it’s knowing they never wanted what you were hoping for, yet still accepted everything your heart was willing to give.

There is already one thread up. GTFO.

>>34834627
Iktf

it's over.

>>34834638
a gay thread no thanks you GTFO and forever :)

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>>34834638
I'm sorry, but it feels a little weird to get something off my chest under this pic,

>>34834627
Sounds like you needed to get burned to learn one of the most important dating lessons: don't spend years wooing someone who doesn't give a shit about you. Move on and find someone worth your time. You generally can't make someone like you, but the more you invest the more it'll hurt when they don't choose you.

I had the biggest nostalgia kick ever, I remembered Weebles. And Mr. Bubble. I wonder what set it off.

Also, that crossword puzzle, how coincidental.

I have a crush.

>>34834249
Writing my autobiography, what a shitty life lol, no wonder I'm an incel

>>34836501
Wow congrats.
Tell us something about your crush.

>>34834627
>Sometimes you spend years being kind to someone, waiting for the smallest sign that they might finally choose you
no i just ask out girls i like after like a month

>>34834249
I'm in a conflicted mood.
I have a yearning for my ex, though when I talk about her, all that comes out are the fears I had about her, the concerns, I do sprinkle in that the sex and the cooking were S tier because they were, but I find those issue still front and present in my mind.
I wish in a way, if it were somehow possible, to meet again as if we didn't know the other, and start afresh, I wonder if then, would things be different.

Even so I still worry that in talking through the relationship out loud to so many confidants, I feel like I've only bad mouthed her despite the clear yearning underneath it all.

>>34837563
For the record the rational actor in me knows that the best course of action is to get a new GF entirely, but I miss the freaky kinky sex that only we had with her being an actual virgin when we met, having her be exclusively mine was extremely hot.

>>34834894
Literally same. I just figured this out and have come to the revolation that it's time I live and focus on myself and start to explore my options in people / potential partners who will value me, see my worth and actually care instead of finding evey gesture of care I threw out as jealousy or being insane.
Sorry for wanting you to want me to be yours.

>>34836525
She posts on this board.

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>>34836501

>>34837596
I think this one is a peach-flavored crush.

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>>34837596
I prefer Fanta

>>34837569
That's important to me with my m

-m

>>34837677
I'm serious, never respond to me EVER again. You're a 7 year stalker, I can say my Ex used to post here (to stalk me during our first break up) but that's besides the point.

Don't know if I'm not my husband's person, or if he's not my person, or if my anxiety is ruining / propentuating the cycle of being negative vibes, or none of the above and he's my soul mate and my need for reassurance isn't even needed

I really dont want to fuck this up. Darling you're my sun. No you're not Mike but I wish you thought of me like his Maria

*snorts* *sobs* "I'm gay"

>>34834414
finished wat

>>34834627
ohh shuuuutuppppp

very sus...

>>34837850
Yea..very suspicious

>>34834249
The only thing I want in life is to have unquestioned authority. I can never get it. What a rip off.

i fucking hate women so god damn much

>>34834699
you have no life

I'm something like rejection sensitive, thus avoidant, I'm gay, I'm a faggot, I hate myself.

To reassert ones self to reality or to become a memory? Who would want to fumble a dance through the fire.

>>34838243
It's an interesting question really. Is there really any alternative to death or a step into the fire than whithering? Perhaps fire is the essence of life.

To become is to die. To persist is to burn.

I'm just blabbering lol.

>>34838249
nothing happens when you die.

>>34838398
Can't be bothered to even entertain that malarky.

Nothing like a cold wind on the soul

>>34838161
prick. what did my post ever do to you?

I think if I heard myself talk I wouldn't ever speak again.

>wake up
>something bad happens
>I fuck up somehow
>brainfog through half the day but still feel vaguely sick and miserable
>something REALLY bad happens
>I fuck up somehow
>something less bad happens that almost feels worse than the 1st thing
>I fuck up somehow
>brainfog
>something bad happens
>sleep
>nightmare
>wake up
>repeat
I can't even describe how awful I feel 24/7. I have no outlets, no support net, not even any way to distract myself. The only reason I haven't killed myself is because I don't have the resources to and I'm too freaked out over what'll happen after I die. I hope the stress kills me soon, but with my shit luck it probably never will.
I wish I could have a single moment of peace. A single good day. Even just a solid opportunity to die early and relatively painlessly might be nice. I get that's asking a lot, but god damn do I need it.

>>34838119
dont keep secrets and you wont have to worry bout answering

Machine works, going to test it some more tomorrow. It's actually really nice where it will only take 3 minutes max per page. I do need a better printer.

im 99%sure shes a hooker.
she keeps coming and going
back n forth in n out.
strange men knocking on the door.
money even though she doesnt even work!

I love you but I keep fantasizing of cheating on you. With you I want to make love passionately, but I look at them and I want to hatefuck them, I want to treat them like onaholes, I want to make them shut the fuck up and gargle my cock. But you? I just want to cuddle, let you sleep in my arms and keep you warm. Run my fingers through your hair. You make me purr like a cat.

all of you are a bunchof bitches.
no nuts.
im here.
quit stalling and run up already
i know thats u playing loud music.
so wass up
lets catch 1 vs 5

i hate those getto black and mexican people who are loud and annoying. them bitches be getting child support but buy nothing for the child. they use the money on themselves 99% on themselves and 1% on the actual child. no shame ghettoness

fuck i did it again i gooned the entire day away. how do i get my motivation back to actually try and feel like theres something to care for in the world again i think thats part of why i do this

>>34838975
also i got a pocket pussy of lucy tyler...what a fuckin mistake the hole's too small and it doesnt feel that good at all i doubt this is what her pussy felt like i cant even clean it reliably and secretly in this apt im im throwing it out with the cum rags

I think I might be addicted to BLACKED hentai and porn. It started off as a random image on Twitter now it’s a insta-diamond hardon when I see it. I know it’s bad and awful but I can’t stop…yea I’m white. No idea why this stuff excites me so much. I’ve always been into NTR doujins.

i find that the only peace is found in relentless self exhaustion

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I've been browsing /x/ for a while, I thought I was going to get baptized and convert to Orthodox Christianity, but now I'm becoming a Gnostic solipsist who believes in sacred geometry. What do? Should I stop browsing /x/? I was agnostic formerly.

Yes, I'm ironically becoming an ex-agnostic Gnostic. IRONICALLY, not unironically, you stupid ass kids. Not everything is unironic. If something is the OPPOSITE OF WHAT WAS EXPECTED, then it is IRONIC. You're welcome.

It makes me very sad on some level that it was so easy for you to abandon me in the end. You even told me that you were going to do it to me like everyone else. But I would’ve hoped you would’ve still loved me, and if not that, cared enough about me to say goodbye properly instead of blocking me like a coward and never speaking to me again.
Oh well. There’s a lot I could’ve shared with you that you would’ve enjoyed but I guess not in this life

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Drunk
I'm FTM and hooked up with this twink recently. We went on 2 little dates and then fucked today. He was so beautiful. He shaved completely and I got to finger him and stroke him and made him cum twice. He said he has never felt comfortable with another person besides his boyfriend* (Quote long distance open relationship unquote that he sees maybe a few times a year). He kept saying how nice I was and how hot I was. He was hesitant about bottoming because he said the last time he did it it was terrible (Implied he browned) but he said he wants me to strap him next time.
I'm moving away in a few weeks. I'm in a relationship I hate with another FTM who doesn't pull his weight has no hobbies no dreams no aspirations i had to beg him to work a job again after a year and he hasn't been on testosterone in over two years. He pouts when i bring up serious topics and has no back bone. I tried to dump him and pussied out because I don't want him to kill himself and then 2 days after that we were approved for an apartment.
I hate my life
I hate it so much
I can still smell this twink on my hands. He was so fucking sexy. He was maybe 5'7 5'8 and 120-130 pounds. He's so cute and his interests are adorkable he liked to collect ties and suits and antique furniture. I wish i could get to know him more.
I live in a rural area and I'm moving to an urban area and all the sexy cute twinks are going to hate me because I'm just a chud. My twink was so cute. Taylor I wish I could know you so much better. I'd do anything for you I'd buy you anything you wanted. I loved spooning him and we watched x files on his ipad. Please god let me have this again. He's so beautiful I'm going to take pictures of him on wednesday or thursday. He presented himself to me after we showered like a whore and I kissed him all over. Fuck my life. I haven't felt so happy in so long. I'm so close to crying but I haven't cried in so long. I wish I could get closer to him, or anyone.

>>34839234
what happened

>>34837690
I have no idea what you are even talking about. I have no idea who you even are. I only wrote to my girl and we haven't even known each other for 7 years so you are reacting to your own issues.

>>34837786
>>34838230

Yes youve said that already colton.

>>34838975
>>34839009
And I hope you can get help for your porn addiction c

why is 4chan so slow and dead

Colton here, AMA

Your passive aggressive bullshit will blow up into us fighting, I can feel it.

If you know what's good for your life, you will stay completely out of my way.

>>34837740
>Darling you're my sun. No you're not Mike but I wish you thought of me like his Maria
Cool. That feels super. Great
-m

>>34839537
Who are you writing to

>>34839232
>Should I stop browsing /x/? I was agnostic formerly.
Yes. You’re worryingly impressionable. Gnosticism is a load of bullshit and it’s pushed on /x/ to demoralize you and make you look stupid

I can't believe I didn't narrow this down before, several years ago when I first gave it a go. Most of this is so fucking obvious. I obviously hit a strange spell and thought I could smash everything. Naturally, it didn't work.

Stupidest thing is, I think I looked at this time before. Just not properly. So I was going in at the wrong time, leaving at the wrong time and taking a chance on completely unsuitable events.

Well, now I know. Just got to hope this hasn't been a huge waste of time.

So did those two months without seeing each other and vaguely communicating in these threads count as us breaking up? Are we exes who got back together?

Kind of considering bleaching my asshole ngl

>>34839363
Has Maria renewed her restraining order against Mike yet?

>>34839736
Be careful, go to a professional

>>34838963
Yeah I know what you mean.

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I hate my family
I hate my job
I'm not anybody first choice because of my mental problem i'm not fun to have around
Everyday I get reminded that everyone I met has it better than me because they they were not born with mental issuse or at least not as bad as mines
Everyday I waste time in my room surrounded by a tons of games and stuff but I can't bring myself to play them or do anything else and I always end up scrolling 4chan or wasting time in ways I don't enjoy like I'm just waiting to be tired enough to go to sleep, I feel like i'm stuck in pic related

The worst part is that people that avoid me are right in avoiding me but maybe if I work hard enough things will change...

>>34839734
You got your wires crossed. I wasn't writing to you and we are not together.

>>34839737
That never happened, but she did decide to fly over and spend time with him because she lost feelings for me and is cold.

>>34839277
Man and a woman... Like each other... Two women hate each other.... No.... Surely not...

>>34839309
Get a life you fucking bum Mike
I'm tired of your low IQ, brokie, BUM behaviour you dysgenic freak.

Bad news: can't use normal paper
Good news: It works effectively and quickly

I'm annoyed at how a single mistake that gets me berated or criticized by others gives me anxiety flashes for hours and an existential crisis
I guess those are the byproduct of awry social conditioning back when I was a kid
how annoying

Want a blue /soc/ for dating

>>34839330
I'm not colton.

>>34834627
Yeah you missed the most important lesson of dating: if they want you they'll make it easy on you and will compliment you back, if you kept floating around them like a ghost for YEARS then I think that's your sign to distant yourself

>>34839914
Maybe stop playing games and work out. Go for walks but be careful during hot weather.

I won't give my entire life story.. but I'm lonely as hell.
My girlfriend of two years broke up with me because i'm a failure. I suffer from existential dread/OCD, i'm always overthinking or living inside my head. I think about death almost every day as well.
My mom is dead, dad's in jail, my family is severely unhappy and no one talks to each other really. Grandma just passed. I'm in debt, I can't find a job at all because of the location I'm currently living. And I'm living with my gf and her family because I ran away from home to escape my dad's drug abuse.
I feel stuck, I have no one or really anything to vent or talk to. I've spent several months self-reflecting and doing inner work but as far as opportunities in real-life, everything has been stagnant for me and it's a soul-crushing feeling. I'm 25 now and I don't feel I've ever truly lived.

My gf is getting closer to a friend she's known for at least 7 to 8 years and I just have to deal with all of it. I have to just accept it.
She's prettier than me, she's more mentally stable and has better parents. Just a lot of stuff.
I can't compare at all, I'm a dumb ass tranny. I just don't really know where to start or what to do. I'm basically just trying to be grounded and talk to others more, open up more and be more honest. Does anyone have any piece of advice they can give, even if it's small?

>>34839330
i'm not addicted i can quit whenever i want, but what's the point, what else do i want or can get anymore? working all day to afford nothing but rent and food? trying to get in shape and lv up my life just to date hypersluts that aren't loyal in a world that hates me and everything I like? this is the end result

>>34840262
Untranny yourself if you're not on pills/have already transitioned. Seek mental health. You can do doordash/grubhub as a part time job to save up money. Also make sure you buy yourself a secret portable safe incase to keep your valuables. Please dont hurt yourself or any random innocent person. You can learn a lot random things online and even attend online classes. There's also meetups if you want to try to make friends just make sure they're friendly and not going to cause humiliation and or use you. There's also mental health work book journals that can help you depending on your issues too.

>>34840186
You always suggest it in the feedback, I can do it for you, but itll need more people to submit that type of feedback. You can always try alternative dating apps. Ive looked them up. There are supposedly a few good ones, I've never used them myself

>>34838985
i have decided not to throw away the toy because i still need to see if using a condom on it is better or worse than jacking off with it and find out what condom fits me since with my hand it just slides off. now how do i clean this bitch

>>34840303
The issue for me is, I'm legitimately too busy with work to look for dates, working a minimum of 50hrs a week at the minute and whilst the money is great, (85th percentile) and possibly hitting the 90th percentile soon, I can't really spend it, I can't spend time with anyone etc.
It's a hard tightrope as well, for as much as I do want a /date/ or /bs/ (Be Social) once you've seen one femcel "girlfailure", you've seen them all and yet I don't exactly want a complete "stacy" either.

I would have liked to know more about you but you always kept this space of mystery around you. As if getting to know you would have destroyed the illusion of romance, which it probably would have. Alas, I dont see what benefit a proper goodbye would bring. It woulf just be more of the same.

See under normal circumstances, by now I would just move on from even interacting with this girl.
But it's not unlike her to not use social media and to deal with short responses. I don't think she's socially anxious. But I have evidence she struggles with that shit and people mock her for it. I don't know why I was expecting a different person through text than the one I met IRL. But I fucked myself over because now I don't know if I should even continue. Maybe she is genuinely uninterested.

>>34840113
You are freaking out due to your own projections. Look in the mirror and take accountability, stop blaming me for your own issues.

>>34840206
I'm keeping my promise to her.

I don't care what you say.

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nigga that's nuts

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Been stuck at a work-from-home position where my other coworkers are 40-50 year old women. I have no idea how to meet people.

>>34840793
Can I have your job

>>34840803
No. It's too easy for me to want to quit, but too isolating for me to like it.

>>34840819
Can you recommend me to have a job like yours.

>>34840831
Writing positions mainly, but those can be competitive depending on what type / area. Be good on AP Style. I don't know things like it outside of it but data entry jobs are less competitive, less pay, and more tedious but also remote.

>>34840842
I don't think I'd be good at that. Guess I'll have to find a different type of position online someday.

>>34840186
What is that
‘Blue’ /soc?

It has been more than a day since I texted her and 21 hours since she read my message, but she hasn't replied yet...

>>34840535
What happened

>>34840881
Little, that's the problem.
When I met her it seemed like she was more than comfortable enough, but after that the feedback is jack and shit. Like we're strangers again.

>>34840902
Hows the feedback jack and shit?

Growing up sucks despite a few things

>>34840937
It's in her responses, she doesn't talk to me, I talk to her. She won't accept a friend invite either.

I cannot fucking stand my girlfriend's friends.
I love my gf. She is kind, patient, smart, and beautiful. But she associates with some of the worst people I've ever met.
Most of her friends have cheated on their boyfriends, I know because she's told me.
Her closest friend is in an abusive relationship with a fucking psycho who breaks into her house and screams at/attacks her while my gf is there. I don't want to be controlling but I told her I don't like her being over there for her own safety. He is gonna attack her friend and she is gonna try to be a hero and get herself killed.
Her next closest friend is an alcoholic whore who keeps trying to get her to go on double dates with her even though she's dating me. She told my gf that she can't wait for us to break up so they can be hoes together. She is fat and gross and I believe she is using my gf as bait because she's actually cute and guys won't talk to her otherwise.
Her other closest friend is an "asexual" who hates men but I really believe is a lesbian who has a crush on my gf. She always spreads tiktok stronk woman propaganda to her and spreads doubt about me.
I try not to associate with bad people. All my friends are in stable, healthy enough relationships and don't cheat on their gfs/wives or talk shit about each others' partners.
Is there anything I can realistically do that doesn't make me seem like an awful, controlling person?

I'm so fucking hungry. I want good food.

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>>34834249
I found out the girl I've liked for almost a decade is visiting the area by accident and realized she probably won't be hitting me up to hang out before I leave the country for years.
Feels bad, man. I won't harass her or be needy about it, but I'm pretty sadden she doesn't see me the same way I see her, let alone that she doesn't even think about me while visiting as friends .
But such is life, I suppose.

>>34834249
I think I fucked up somewhere. I fuck this one troon, and theyre so obsessed with my dick they keep pestering me to come to my house.
I get the feeling if I do I might end up getting a rather annoying side character in my life. I also think they mightve been on drugs too, like hard drugs.
Mate I just wanted a quick nut, dont make this weird.

>>34841222
>I fucked a mentally ill sexual deviant and now they won't leave me alone
Who could have seen this coming

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>>34841229
Guess thats why they say dont stick it in crazy.

>>34841221
>Heard you're in the area
>Let's do something
>After all it'd be terrible to leave [the country] without seeing you one last time
>>34841150
I'm not fucking with you, I swear you might be dating my Ex.
Either way you should tell her she shouldn't associate with those people because the association of being those people isn't good, even if it makes her feel it

>>34841254
*Association of being AROUND those people looks bad on her, even if they make her feel better about herself*

>>34841254
May not be the worst of ideas. I'm a bit afraid of coming off as creepy or being outright rejected by her.
Especially if she were to have sniffed out that I liked her and is trying to avoid me.
But I'll give it some thought. Thanks anon. You're the best.

>>34841254
I got her to more or less stop talking to the alcoholic whore, since she's been showing her true colors more as my gf and I have gotten more serious (we're coming up on a year together soon).
But the girl with the crazy boyfriend worries me the most. She will always take this asshole's side over my girlfriend and when push comes to shove I really think my gf is gonna get hurt.
The cheating thing is also a problem. You are who you associate with. If all her friends constantly tell her it's ok to cheat on your boyfriend then she might cave and do it, though I don't think she's like that.

i think with this the setup should be good once it arrives, it's more of setting up pages for the machine to read them once printing starts.

>>34841273
This is going to sound weird, stop thinking you are you.
Stop thinking that you're some loser creep.
Unironically you need a bit of delusion, you need to think of yourself as Chad, your perception of yourself becomes reality when you believe it well enough.
You need that confidence to not be afraid, to be someone else, the overman version of you, the man who's confident and charming, the adventurer.
She's the last person to see you before you leave the country? Adventure, ambition, mystery... that is the person you should make yourself into
>>34841285
Yeah but the counter is always the perception. If 3/4 of her friend group are cheats, liars and whores, what's the implication for her?
Cut them off, everyone would be better off.

>>34841308
I think the problem is she doesn't really have anyone to talk to outside of these people, who were either childhood friends or she met them through work. She works in scientific research at a hospital but all her shitty friends are nurses/CNAs, surprise surprise. She's going back to grad school soon so maybe she'll meet some friends there who have their shit together more.

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>>34841308
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of doing this. Last time I gave myself a bit of delusion I genuinely thought she wanted me and I had a real shot to have a long distance relationship and almost booked a flight to visit her during her birthday, but got shot down and the "plans" were inevitably cancelled.
Sorry if I sound negative, like a doomer or just trying to contradict everything you say. It's one of those feels, man.

>>34834249
I was going to do a green card marriage with my friend, but during the planning, she said it was "just business" and I suddenly got a vision of myself spending the next five years worth of holidays alone (just like this past one). I told her to explain and she came out with the, "You know I love you very much, but as a friend". Honestly, that didn't really hurt as much as the feeling as I betrayed her since we were also doing it to reunite her with her daughters.
She said we could still be friends, but she's become heavily distant. I asked her what was up and she said we were still friends, it just bothered her that I would see her as a "woman", someone to have a family with instead of just friends. Especially because we're extremely tight with our other friend who we met through (but we fight a lot with). She's slowly started talking more again, and said she was going to stop by this Sunday for coffee (our thing), but she never showed. And hasn't messaged me since, apart from the "I'll stop by later today". I stalked her tiktok to make sure she wasn't dead or anything and saw that she had taken down the physical pictures of us in her bedroom wall.
It hurts! And there's no one else to talk to about this, she was the only person I could talk too! I can't tell our other friend, because she heavily disapproved of the idea. And because she makes fun of me and uses things I tell her in confidence as ammo in our fights.
I think about this everyday, and part of me still wants to go through with the marriage, but how can I count on someone who won't meet with me (and has stood me up several times before)? But (I feel) she's like one of the few people in this world who actually gave a shit about me, about what I was up to and what I had to say (my speech is fucked, so people usually ignore me). I should've just shut the fuck up and not said anything. But it may have been better to blow this up now than further down the line. But I really miss my friend

>>34841486
She was using you. She is not your friend.

>>34841412
Delusion in your confidence and how you wish to present, rather than delusion about the situation.
The two are seperate.
If you are cool, you play it cool, if she says no, or doesn't respond you need to see that and take it on the chin and not respond, move on.
If she does and she's up for it... What do you have to lose?

Is anyone else going backwards in their 30s? I'm becoming more isolated, still a virgin, less energy, the little skills I have are regressing, my career is going nowhere and I'm getting worse at it, I never leave the house, I have no interest in doing just about anything, no desire to learn, I want to die. It's been like this for 20 years but it just feels worse in my 30s because I can't seem to power through it anymore plus I see how much of a fuckup I am compared to everyone else. I don't know if I can keep going

>>34841590
That's called aging Anon

>>34841594
No. There are plenty of successful men in their 30s and onwards. I feel even worse now because guys my age are so far ahead and have accomplished so much. In my 20s I could at least have the excuse that I'm young. I'm just a severe fuckup

>>34841617
My dad was a complete loser until he was 39 and started a business that ended up being very successful. He'd already had me and my siblings at that point though so he wasn't a virgin, thoughbeit.

WOMEN
I FUCKING HATE WOMEN
ALL OF THEM EXCEPT MY MOM
I HATE THEM SO MUCH
the only acceptable thing about islam is how they treat their own women

O Philomena
You in a tawdry gown
Lean to your window
Let slip a ribbon down
A cure to your boredom
If only you'd let me go down
Down down

Long summer days
Can lead to lazy vices
Boys all at idle
Left to their own devices
Open up your linen lap
And let me go down
Down down

All that I wanted in the world
I wanted more

So I'll be your candle
I'll be your statuette.
I'll be your lashing
Loop of leatherette
O Philomena if only
You'd let me go down.
Down down

my parents and their stupid fucking dogs, man. why would you ruin your home/life with beasts like this

>>34841960
Philomena is a haunting folk ballad that weaves a tale of longing and obsession, set against a backdrop of decadence and decay. The song's title character, Philomena, is depicted in a tawdry gown, leaning from a window, her desire for escape and connection palpable.

The speaker's yearning is both desperate and possessive, hinting at a twisted form of devotion.

The lyrics paint a vivid picture of idle summer days and the moral decay that follows. The speaker describes boys left to their own devices, hinting at a world where indulgence leads to emptiness. The repeated plea, "Let me go down," becomes a mantra of desire and desperation, echoing through the verses. The speaker's initial fascination with Philomena's nakedness quickly turns into a deeper, more complex longing, signaling a shift from superficial attraction to something more profound and troubling.

The chorus returns to the imagery of the speaker offering to be Philomena's candle, statuette, lashing, and loop of leatherette-objects that suggest both devotion and degradation. These lines double down on the speaker's willingness to be consumed by his obsession. The final lines, "Go down down down," leave the listener with a lingering sense of inevitability, as if the descent is both a choice and a fate.

>>34842002
So like some velvet morning ????

Stupid bitch

>>34842088
Nope that is quite a bit different than what will actually happen.

>>34842099
Who

>>34841590
30s are your 20s on expert mode
Lock in

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Why can't we just be cool to each other? Always the petty drama..

I hate finding out things about myself because it just adds to the list of things that are too disgusting and weird to let anyone know ever, it makes me have to emotionally hide and isolate even more.

Applied for a new job, was told I was pretty much hired and now I'm just waiting for them to check my references but now I'm panicking. It's a step up from what I'm already doing but a lot more responsibility. I don't know why I asked for this this shit looks like too much stress. Fuck this shit but I don't want to say no to it if I get the offer because I want to leave my shitty ass state and this is the best shot I have.

>>34842173
Someone who treated me like shit

>>34842308
Why are you jealous of her lavish lifestyle? She’s doing better and happier without you. You were the problem. Clearly because look at your childish name calling. You’re projecting, you’re the stupid bitch that lost her. You’re still hung up over her and still stalking her. Move on loser:

>>34842350
Who do you think you are talking to

>>34842308
What they do

>>34842350
Initials the loser

>>34842364
Wasted a bunch of my time and theirs.

>>34842366
I second this.

>>34842350
As if you didn’t talk worse shit here first. You’re such an asshole.

Women have no concept of discipline: when a man gets a dog, he instinctively and intuitively understands that he has to train the dog or else the dog will misbehave if not grow up a completely wild animal; but when a woman gets a dog, she expects the dog to learn magically by itself how to behave, and if that doesn't work, then she either simply lets the dog turn wild and completely dominate her (the dog owns her rather than she the dog) or she lets other people deal with the savage dog as it is and turns it into other people's problem.
The greater problem is that they do the same thing with their own children: they do not teach their sons how to be men nor their daughters how to be proper women. They either let their sons grow into spineless arrested-development low-test submissives or criminal retards and their daughters into naive retarded sluts, or they let malicious third parties brainwash their sons into simps or homosexuals or trannies and their daughters into worthless whores, bringing ruin upon them and their future.

I love how ridiculous the double standard is between men and women on dating subreddits. Women complaining about the smallest deviations from normalcy or men simply being upfront and honest, or the classic 'Why won'the date me? Is he just not interested? He hasnt texted back in X?' - the classic 'Chad treating me like how I treat 95% of men on here' post, only she used them for self- validation and he used her for sex (which is pretty much the same thing). Meanwhile, male-centric posts coping with "rules for dating" like "looks fade, personality doesn't" and "keep an open mind, nobody is going to have everything you want". You don't have to swallow a coloured pill to see the difference, or to see that the bias leans heavily to one side.

And that's okay, really it is. I got my girlfriend like 3 months ago. I'm sweet. And yeah, she had to bat off hordes of men, and I had to play it like I was only chasing her while seeing some big titted chick on the side that fizzled out. But that's just the game. And I love it. At any given time I'm swindling some naive SEA pussy. Those poorer countries have some crazy genetics. The women are crazy fertile, theyre almost a different species. The richer you get, the less likely you are to have many children, because your children are likely to survive. Meanwhile the opposite is true, so these poorer countries have women with 8-9 kids growing up in abject poverty, and 2 or 3 of them are expected not to make it past their teenage years. Anyway, those bitches are super fertile and horny, and always wanna fuck after one or two dates, especially once they see i have my own place and my own car. The best part is that idgaf about them and their stories about how many 'options' they have when i fuck them. I get to larp as chad while I cum in them, then make a stupid excuse about how my family situation is pulling me away or I have a huge work thing. Theyre always very supportive. Truth is, I do it for the sport.

>>34842667
Dude chill and stop talking like this. I can tell by your words you still know women are humans.
What country?

You don't see it this way, but you keep putting their wants and sense of entitlement over my comfort and well-being, and you have from the start.
Making excuses and not pressing the matter when her "jokes" made me severely anxious.
Having them come before I was ready.
Making excuses for his weird peeping - Alzheimer's or whatever. Saying I wouldn't be believed anyways.
Again allowed them to come when I, we, were struggling immensely, leading to them both being disrespectful and two-faced and honestly outright nasty to me (mostly behind your back but often enough right in front of you or to you.)
Still demanding they have access to her despite the massive spike of anxiety and rage it causes, just, now, without my presence lol.

It really fucking hurts. And I feel stupid because it's such a cliché I told myself I would never fall for again - the nasty inlaws walking all over me, and the enabling excuse-making husband.
You said she understood or wanted to, and cared about me. Bullshit, she's just doing the typical emotional manipulation, playing victim, while glaring at me when you don't look, ignore my attempts to facilitate contact on my own terms and to reach out and be friendly (which you saw!!!! You saw me encouraging her to crawl over to her, you saw her not even looking up from her phone or staring off at the neighbors' house!!!) then turn around with crocodile tears and say I'm keeping her from them.

It really, really fucking hurts. It's wildly fucking unjust. It's always going to hurt because you make excuses for them, and allowances, and it ultimately doesn't matter if I'm fucking hurt by it, I'm demanded to continue exposing myself to that hurt (and yes, her being taken away from me for a bit to see them is an exposure for me as well.)
You let me down...

I can't sleep because of this shit. My head just keeps spinning and my heart fucking hurts and my stomach gets in knots over this all the fucking time

I think it hurts worse than reading all those fucked up things you wrote about me lol but it's hard to tell when brain goes "nope!" and does a mental 180° when my thoughts go down that direction ahaha

I'm a fucking loser and punching bag in every single iteration of my life, every attempt at finding peace and safety fucking marred.
It's kind of nice to have the thread to myself again. I have nobody to talk to about this. At least, nobody who can fix it or make me feel better about it, and there's nothing I can do now, short of killing myself I guess. I suppose it's kind of validating to have other women - other mothers and grandmothers no less - validate me, and say it's really fucked up what's been allowed, what's been done to me, and they would have felt the same and want the same no-contact as me.

I'm fucking pathetic because part of me still hopes you'll read it and "finally understand!!!" and you'll make it all go away, all the hurt and fear and pressure and THEM, though I know you won't.
I'm a fucking pathetic loser.
They would have been ~so relieved~ if I died too lmao

And to add to it all, I see how much worse this situation, forced exposure despite wounds, has made me as a whole, how it has amplified the previously bearable-in-the-short-term stress/anxiety/overstimulation of socializing, even with my own family and friends and situations I used to tolerate well enough. I now can't. I now can't bear to contact my family and friends without it taking the fucking life from me or setting my teeth on edge and fists tight for longer and longer afterwards.
I dread going outside, I dread my phone pinging.

All from what they've done to me, how they treat me, and you pushing me to repeatedly expose myself to it (just send her a picture despite the repeated "jokes" just let them come before you're ready or comfortable, or while things are really bad you you/us, you have to allow this or that)
Why can't you pick me? Run away with me. Pick me. Care about me. Protect me.

>Virginity rates drop sharply after age 25, stabilizing at roughly 1-2% for adults over 30 and falling to 0.3% by age 40–44.
I'll be part of the elite 0.3% soon

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>>34839234
Well, if it makes you feel any better, it was not that easy. I know I've tried all I could to keep things moving and staying in contact with you, but it was just too hard. I needed this space, needed to get away from you and not let my attachment make things worse. But I saw your messages, even responded to them...but for myself. I miss you, and while part of me wants to stay in contact and go back to what we were, I still get anxious when I text you, feeling like we're gonna commit the same mistakes and we'll both walk away with new scars. This has not been easy and I think about you all the time, to the point of actually wanting to break no-contact daily and fantasizing about the things we'll share in the future.
But if it's saved for another life, at least I'll know I actually tried. And if we are who we think we are, we'll meet again. Soon.

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>>34842241
At the end of the day, your superior is a person, just like you. Whatever responsibilities they have were acquired in a regular lifetime, by being a normal human being trying to understand how other humans are working. What I'm trying to say is that you can do it, like others before you have tried, it just seems too much because it's more weight. Just like in gym, the weights don't get lighter, you just become better at lifting heavier.

Ah, I'm not worth it. Grew up having learnt that. I'm cast away or looked down on because I don't fulfill what others expect of me, because I'm not what others want me to be.

>>34842943
Supreme edge

>>34842803
it's just the truth. i could keep going - honestly i'm hoping to breed some sluts and dip with the gf.
I didn't say women weren't humans. We're all humans. It just is how it is. The crude and uncaring way I think of them is the same way they think of plenty of other men. Some have even cheated on their BFs with me. Of course, the gf is different. Saving herself for marriage type. I got her to suck me off which she's never done with anyone else before. Unchartered territory for her. Thursday for me. I'm about to move to be closer to her. That means I got til then to sow my seeds. Not my uterus, not my problem. If they have half a brain, they'll try to pass it off as someone else's, because i'll be unreachable.

>hated my boss so bad i quit and got a new job
>new job has been pretty good; much easier, similar pay but tips put it over
>just one problem
>a guy who has been there for a few years just has a massive attitude problem
>i'm talking he throws mini tantrums when he has to teach somebody new how to do something, even in front of customers he's being bitchy about it
>has intentionally on more than one occasion sabotaged someone to make their job harder - myself included
>was very close to asking boss to keep me and him away from each other on the schedule
>find out he's out the door in a couple of weeks
Problem solved, I like my new job.

>>34842667
>>34842974
I'll add you to my prayers tonight in hopes you get HIV and a stroke that cripples you for life for the evil you perpetuate, and I'll add your girlfriend to my prayers in hopes she discovers the type of person you are asap and escapes you unscathed.
You deserve all that and worse whether you're LARPing or not.

Sometimes I wonder if the short flings i had on soc ever think about me. I want to believe I had that much of an impact on people, but really, I don't think I'm crazy enough or different enough to have stood out. All I was was a generic boring above average guy. Ima remove all these people. Fucking sucks. Attractive enough to have a little fun, but not attractive enough to compensate for my complete lack of personality because of my anxiety and social isolation.

Just because you feel lost does not mean your compass is broken.

We choose each other over all else. I love you with all my heart

>"I love you, remember that."

>"I love you too. That makes me feel at ease"

>"You're the only thing that matters now, it's been like that for so long. Nothing will ever change that."

>"I'm only yours, I love only you"

>"I'll always love you and care about you, no matter what. You mean so much. You complete me, I complete you."

>"You're the only home I have free of judgment and anything that will upset me, I'm crying because I need you, this argument is temporary, but I'll always have that empty part needing you. I'm your home too. You are perfect. I love you more"

>"I know I feel both with you and I can dwell in both love and lust, we will fuck each other's brains out and then care for each other, Spend so much time."

>"Everything is perfect with you, dream good dreams, I can't wait."

>"You're the love of my life, everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever needed."

It is important to me that I am all your firsts and you are shaped to me. I've kept my promises to you. I would like our home now, each other. I love you.

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Procrastination, paralyzed with fear of failure, hate myself for making mistakes or not becoming my imagined self.
>ok you are a perfectionist bro gotta love yourself.
How the fuck am I supposed to love myself? What the fuck is that gonna do? Sure there are parts of myself that I like but there are other parts that absolutely have to change, because I have verifiable evidence that these parts suck, and I'm supposed to love that? I absolutely don't want to stay like this.
>you need to do inner child healing.
Okay cool, I sit with my inner child and I caress him and jerk him off too and tell him these fake compliments and fake words and then what? I'm still the same miserable asshole who can't even get off the couch to go to the gym.

Is therapy just a fucking scam? None of this shit is working
Genuinely what the fuck am I supposed to do then?

>>34843173
>>34843170
I wonder how much you could have done with yourself in the 7 years you've posted and obsessed about Maria
I stopped obsessing over my ex fiance and went from the 25th percentile to the 85th.
I regret every minute I wasted thinking of the pedestal of the woman I thought I knew.
Fuck her, you should treat Maria with the same contempt for having done a number on you so badly that you're still here 7 YEARS later.

>>34843448
It has not been 7 years. It's been 4 and a half. In that time I've healed from past traumas , built my small business and learned many new skills in my hobbys. The house has completely transformed with everything I've done. There is so much more.

There are 2 kinds of happiness. I have the first and that has been great

The second is one only maria and I provide each other.

You are right that the time here and what she's done has hurt me a lot and fucked me up.

But I love her and we promised each other.

>>34843480
Promises are meant to be broken

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>be newly single 33 y/o man
>spend months on dating apps with 2 matches that went nowhere
>being a 5/10 at most on a good day, I know that I'm fighting an uphill battle
>always send thoughtful messages to every woman
>match with a beautiful ukrainian girl that fled the war and ticks everything I ever wanted in a woman
>she responds with an equally thoughful message
>I haven't felt butterflies like this since my first gf 10 years ago and already daydreaming aboutbour future
>answer her we could go for a walk at a beautiful nearby park
>go to sleep
>wake up
>she unmatched me

I knew it was too good to be true. Either fake catfish account, only wanted attention or perhaps didn't like how I looked in a picture or wasn't tall enough (I'm 5'8¾"). Doesn't matter, I knew I was too ugly to seduce someone but perhaps she could have used me for the canadian citizenship and I would have had the illusion that I made it. I thought about suicide a lot but I can't leave my little brother alone and do this to my loving parents. I feel at 33 I'm stuck with the leftovers and have less and less energy physically and mentally to have kids and a familly. I feel I am just a wallet for women, a bottomless financial pit they can just use for their hobbies and travelling

>pic semi-related

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Ive been hiding from my family that I lost my job. They are going on a vacation and paying for me to go with them and I've been so down about everything for so long I don't even want to go with them.
They keep planning things and looking at flight prices and I just keep running scenarios in my head where I can make up an excuse to not go, despite the trip sounding like fun.

Just crushed one of my hobby projects because I didnt like the way it came out. I should really stop doing anything and just sleep.

>>34843660
I'm in the same boat as you, although I'm just waking up. I've drafted so much stuff up the last couple months and then just deleted it or thrown it away. I don't know what the fix is.

>>34842635
You're wrong some women do teach their kids to be proper people. It doesn't help that society has bullies like you that inherently make it worse for them.

My milf coworker is the fucking devil

>>34842099
I doubt she treated you like shit. You're probably the one that treated her like shit.

FUCK I want a drink
But I can't because if I do then it means I'm an alcoholic
Plus the last several times I've wound up drinking, I haven't actually enjoyed it in the least, it's becoming an expensive "what the fuck's even the point of this" kinda habit
So I gotta just be a lame sober fuck for the next week or so just to prove I can
It's all so tiresome

>>34843680
I honestly didn't.

>>34843680
She took my advantage of my time and my emotions for half a year and started seeing someone else without telling me at the end.
It was easier for her to just avoid an unpleasant conversation with me than to have any respect for my time or feelings.
I think I can confidently say that amounts to treating a man like shit.

>>34843695
That sounds strangely similar to what I was going through, only I'm not mad at her because I still feel like I got some value out of the time I spent with her. I'm taking it as a lesson to be way more up front with what I want so she's forced to put me down a lot sooner if she doesn't want me.

Fuck you gossiping hen women and men.

>>34843702
I'd be much less butthurt if I wasn't very up front about what I wanted and expected.
Where I went wrong was continually giving the benefit of the doubt to someone who obviously didn't really care about me and didn't actually want me in her life, just in her inbox.

>>34843702
>>34843695
Sounds like past relationships but I'm not a guy

>>34843695
I basically did this to my ex, only he was getting women pregnant at the end. Not cheating but still in my life.
Then I met my husband and got pregnant immediately after meeting. Married a year later.

I have to move on with my life but I still think about you - especially moreso now that we talked via text recently.

I'm sorry I never answered your calls from jail. I'm sorry for everything. I didnt treat you right, and I dont even know why. There doesnt need to be a reason why someone acts shitty to another person.

>>34843709
Sounds like you fell for a real piece of shit then. Which means you have to accept the "her" you built up in your head wasn't real, and the actual "her" is someone you wouldn't have wanted had she been honest with you. It's not easy, but that's how I'd try to frame it in my head.

I'm doing the same in my case, even though I'm not angry. She was really bad at communicating and went silent or skirted around uncomfortable conversations. Relationships are full of way harder conversations than "what am I to you?" so if she wasn't capable of having those talks, she wasn't mature enough for a relationship.

>>34843711
>There doesnt need to be a reason why someone acts shitty to another person.
People can be so selfish and thoughtless.

>>34843716
I'm just bewildered. She complained at the outset of it all to me about how men always act like they're interested in her only to completely check out after a few months... pretty ironic.
She still comes here looking for validation and attention from other men, too. Hey new boyfriend has his work cut out for him.

>>34843717
Exactly. 99% of these self-diagnosed bpd, narc, etc is people just being assholes/dumb assholes

>>34843681
You can do it anon
Alcohol is poison

>>34843681
Personally, I never really got the appeal.
All my friends in college were broke all the time, and I felt like I was the only one paying attention to how much they spent on alcohol. It was a lot.
It never felt worth the cost to me. Occasional drinking would be fun, but thats about it for me.

My current job affords me time to play vidya full-time when I'm not traveling, which is most of the year. I feel truly, truly blessed to have this, but it's increasingly apparent that I cannot balance it with this relationship:
I can't understand that they would be happy for my independence, while
they can't understand why I won't do anything more with my life and become more social.

As much effort as I feel like I've already put in, I recognized very recently I need to put in a lot more...and it's going to burn me out. :(

>>34843720
So she does have a new bf or are you just thinking she has a new bf

>>34843793
I flew out to see her and she was acting really distant. I asked her a couple weeks later why she was keeping me at an arm's length, and she told me she was sorry for not being more transparent but that she met someone else and that it was getting serious.
She told me she felt bad about it and that she was just trying to keep herself safe because she'd never made another friend online before. So, I guess I'm a scary and dangerous person. Cool

>>34843707
Kiss my ass.

I am tired.

It's over.

>>34843855
Extremely. Thank god.

>>34843771
Because I worked hard for these life circumstances, I feel no shame in admitting that I want vidya to take up a large portion of my life. It does feel selfish, and I feel badly for the relationship suffering because of it...but up until recently, I never felt comfortable saying "it is what it is" about it, but right now, it is what it fucking is

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I wanted to say something serious, but then I remembered, I don't need to say anything

i think the situation has gotten better to be stabilized.I hope. other than that I managed to get it down to 3/4th a penny.

>>34843806
Holy shit, she was using you. Should made her pay for things or made her fly to you. I know of some Filipina that did that to a guy now she's dating a white guy (he's not really white, he's mixed). You just cant trust them anon, I meant oversea women.

>>34844384
It was an American girl. Second gen European immigrant.
I visited her twice, and it was like night and day between my first and second visits. They were about three months apart, and I'm guessing she met the other guy at least a month and a half before my second visit but just couldn't find the nerve to tell me not to come visit.

Big interview coming up. Big accident that costs me time and money to fix.

sigh

>>34841150
If she ends up doing something retarded because of her friends, you'll know it pretty quickly. She sounds like the kind of person who will come clean, and you sound intelligent enough to see the signs.

Provided that doesn't happen, you should just let her have her retard friends. They could be what's keeping her patient, kind, and appreciating you. Without them, she may start crafting new, closer to home problems.

Pussying out of this lease because I don't love him. I'm going to try to find a roommate. I wish I had done this earlier.

>>34844518
what is a lease in this context

>>34844540
An apartment. I paid 900 + 100 for renters insurance. Set everything up. We got the real lease today, he 's asking me to sign it. I have to break it to him tonight. I'm scared to tell my dad. He'll understand but he's going to be really worried about me. I feel stupid, but I will be very unhappy living with him, he'd be sleeping with a cinder block. I didn't want to abandon him because I know he won't move out of his parents house if I don't do it with him. But I don't love him anymore, I only tried to love him to be the "bigger person". I'm ashamed.

I really hated Spotify for starting their data-driven ads in 2015/16. They lost a customer back then

>>34844565
sounds rough. you should post on reddit to farm some girlboss energy on how hes a total loser and never deserved you anyway

>>34844584
cry more spotify is goat

Fuck AI slop.

addicted to screens and porn at 33 like a good slave

i wasn't even like this 3 years ago

>>34844679
We're both men

>>34844746
> wasn't even like this 3 years ago
I have been like this for a very long time, you were just unaware

>tfw had phone sex before losing my KHHV status
I'm probably gonna make it

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>>34834249

I'm going to 4chan because there's thing I want to share on here I can't bother to put in my diary or vague post on tumblr. I hope writing these words somewhere will expel these feelings.

I love you so much dude, I loved you the moment I laid my eyes on you. I'm sorry that I do, I'm sorry I'm still hung up on you two years later.

I think about reaching out to you all the time, but idk. It's way too cringe and stupid to say anything at this point.

I love you. I really, really loved you.

now that i have the whole process done and dealt with, it should be easy to get it perfect. Too bad I have to teach my mother this.

>>34844728
The future is now old man

syl - i hope horrible things happen to you

fuck you you delusional, narcissistic cunt

I have become obsessed with weed for some reason. Never thought I would be someone who becomes a stoner but something about it just has me entranced. Its like for the first time since I was a teenager I can just sleep for 12 hour stretches and that makes me feel so healthy and good. But then I read its getting banned where I live in december and that has caused me undo worry. Legit going to have to go around looking for a drug dealer soon and I really dont fucking want to. I could probably buy a few years worth of gummies between now and december at least though.

I hope you understood where I was coming from whenever I vented on here about you.
I do hope to see you again someday. I enjoyed getting to know you.

My wife asked me what I was looking forward to and I said nothing, she didn't like the answer but it's the honest truth. I don't know what's so awesome about life. I have things to do 24-7-365. I don't really have off days. It never ends. I'm tired of the grind. I just want to be at peace. I guess that's 30+ unc problems I guess

>>34845090
How the hell do you have a wife and still feel like you have nothing to look forward to in life?

>>34845094
I guess you could say I'm unhappy for no good reason. Objectively my life is awesome but I'm miserable

>>34845101
I’m a 30+ unc too and that’s definitely not a regular, expected part of being thirty.
There’s gotta be something you can do to address it.

>>34845060
Do you want dodge city phone number?

>>34845115
None of the things iv done worked. I've tried ignoring it. I've tried hoping things improve on their own. I've also tried emotional eating and that hasn't worked either. I'm thinking of trying fasting. if I start skipping 1-2 meals a day, maybe that could also be used to smooth things over and take the edge off. Not eating is definitely a healthier way of dealing with pain than emotionally eating

>>34845137
Huh?

>>34845151
>I've tried ignoring it.
>I've tried hoping things improve on their own.
Those constitute actively not trying to deal with it, anon.
>I've also tried emotional eating and that hasn't worked either. I'm thinking of trying fasting. if I start skipping 1-2 meals a day, maybe that could also be used to smooth things over and take the edge off. Not eating is definitely a healthier way of dealing with pain than emotionally eating
I don’t think fasting is going to get you what you want either.
Frankly, I think you should go to therapy. You need to talk to real person about something you’re repressing.
I know this probably sounds like a load of a shit, but please consider it. I’m a man if that changes anything.

>>34845160
You're probably right, I should do something. I keep telling myself I will. But I never do. I have a talent for knowing what to do, and not doing it.

>>34845289
You gotta. I had the realization myself recently that since nothing I try is working, I NEED to go to therapy.
Helps that I’ve seen firsthand how much it helped my dad.

>>34845152
This is a dealership in Baton Rouge

>>34840874
ok, wtf, she texted me
>Heyy
without acknowledging my previous message and I responded
>Heyyyy :)
and she didn't reply.

>>34838474
peepeepoopoo i hope you shit your pants

>>34834249
i hate women i hate women i hate women i hate women i hate women i hate women

>>34843855
:l

>>34844746
what kind of porn you in to?

>>34845025
bad things happen to me everdryday.
its why i am how i am

I am so bored.
It's hot outside. Can't go anywhere.
So sick of playing the same video games over and over.
My computer broke so I can't even work on my hobbies.
To buy another computer I have to drop $560 and I don't even have a job. I'll probably end up homeless.

>>34845460
Can't even enjoy shitposting on 4chan because I'm stuck on a shitty phone.

I have rage issues because I hate myself. I hate myself because of my mental disability that cannot be treated or cured. I remember something embarassing I did in the past at least once a day and it causes me physical pain. Everybody is sick of me but I can't help what I am, so I'm probably just going to cut everyone off and die alone a miserable failure. I hate God for doing this to me.

>>34845652
Thank you CIA

>>34843414
Therapy only works for women because the primary method by which they do treatment is CBT, which means lying to yourself, and women lie and believe lies perfectly fine. For men theres no hope. When youre broken you're broken.

>>34845151
You have a hormonal problem that needs to be addressed, like low progesterone or pregnenolone. Get a hormone panel.

My houses so full of this bullshit
I can't really sleep I'm so stressed out
I'm so tired and fed up
tabt u mellet

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theres no sqtddtot on /ck/ but why do raw onions ans any garlic absolutely glue themselves to my mouth
cant shake the flavor unless i use peroxide

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been pretty much constantly stressed and sick for months
alchohol cravings coming back daily
been sober for almost 5 years
i want a drink every fucking day i cant take the stress anymore

>>34846013
dont do it

Should I just hook up with man? I'm very lonely and I feel like being with a man would help. Has anyone tried this?

>>34843551
No they are not. Promises are meant to be kept.

I wish I could go back in time and slap my 10 year old self in the face. My parents divorced and I kept pestering my mom with questions like "When is Dad is going to see me again" or "Why isn't he answering me when I call" even though he didn't give a fuck about me. Even on the occasions that he did see me, all he did was insult me and make me feel unwanted. It just didn't register to me that a father wouldn't care about his own son.

Look man i get that you hate me and you'd rather wish that i never existed in the first place, but why did you have to treat me so nicely at first and then act like i'm a stranger later?

>>34846126
I don't hate you. And I don't wish you never existed. We just don't talk. But I guess that's my fault. I don't always live up to the standards that have been set for me.

>>34846126
>>34846139
I hate that both of these could've been written by her to me. I really fucked things up with her.

>>34845000
Fuck the future. The future sucks shit.

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>had to take a day off of work this week (wasn't my fault, just had to get a specialist appointment who, shit you not, had one appointment for this entire month)
>three day weekend which is pretty ok but I feel guilty as fuck. My team depends on me because our job needs to be a well oiled machine and nobody does my position as good as i do. This turned out to be catastrophic and my team had to work late by an extra hour
>not my fault but I still feel guilty
>still trying to recover from anorexia. Recovery makes me feel supremely selfish for even having the simplest wants or taking any time for me, even breaks
>sorta conquering it but I drop and break something. I'm so wound up from anxiety that I kick something out of anger extremely hard
>three hours later my foot starts hurting, and I mean really hurting. Like putting even the lightest pressure on it makes me hyperventilate kind of pain. This is a huge problem because 90% of my job is moving back and forth
>go to supervisor and tell her (this is an hour prior to rush) and she calls one of the on call EMTs
>takes a look at my foot, nothing is broken but the bone is probably bruised and says he's sending me home
>one of my workmates is already fed up with this job and while I have very little love for him, i do sympathize
>came over to me in the break room and was clearly deeply upset with me. Even though he knew it wasn't my fault, he wanted to yell at me and then leaves with a cutting comment of "I may walk out tonight."
>selfish feelings are even worse
>Other coworker refuses to do my job because he's ESL and for some reason this makes him incapable of anything outside of one, single task

NGL if he quits tomorrow I think I'm just gonna full go into a full blown relapse. I don't think my mind can actually take much more. I feel like I am the worst person at my job by a long shot, all I think about is me, all I think about is food and I let everyone down. I'm actually distraught. I'm living my worst nightmare.

She just doesn’t care. Last three attempts, girl matches energy, but I become too much. Second one, we match energy but she’s too much. Third one, I guess I’m giving too much but she’s certainly not giving enough

A friend fucked a girl that I liked and Im devastated, i couldnt sleep last night and I wont be able tonight either. I never said anything so he just doesnt know and keeps calling me but i cant speak with him now. I dont know what im gonna do from the outside it seems im blowing it out of proportion but i feel like shit and cant do anything about it, dont understand why it hit me so bad cant even sleep

How the fuck do you stop these people from spying on you when you shower!?!?!

>>34846061
I’m a man wondering the same thing about a woman right now. I’m very lonely and touch starved.
I can’t make up my mind…

Please pray for my brother Dan. He's suicidal, and I'm 3,000 miles away and won't be able to fly out and see him until Saturday.

>>34846363
I’ll do that.

>>34846363
He can wait

>>34846205
Your gfs name is future

Had a crush on a girl for the longest time. I think she liked me at some point but I never told her how I felt. She’s dating someone now. Would it be a dick ass move to tell her now? This isn’t a last ditch effort to win her over. I just want her to know how I feel.

I was looking for a way to view news so I could use it to try and wean myself off of watching youtube every waking moment.
For some ungodly reason, I took my mom's advice to use Twitter. I've been hopelessly doomscrolling for the past two days, and I just want to keep going.

My penis is so small sometimes I touch myself like I'm a girl.

>>34843681
Well I didn't drink, but I slept so long that I woke up groggy anyway so fuck me I guess lmao
But I'm bearing down this week and getting my shit more stable, wagmi

Whatever I do I appear as the bad guy or the dickhead. Best case scenario of my life right now is me being in the shadow of others, it's irritating.

I really only want a cool career, interesting work and a few good friends, a cute wife..
But for some obscure reason and despite efforts, it's just not getting me there, and only having expectations raised while my position remains the same.

If any of you guys believe in god or some other fancy stuff, I'd appreciate a prayer for me to get there or die a swift painless death.. I am tired of being stuck in fruitless effort.

I could rant in a non anonymous board, but that would just get people to insult me or belittle me even more.

>>34840186
THIS
Also can some anons link the "alternate dating apps", I am so lonely, I want to talk to women.

I just realized my family was really racist around me to provoke me bc they thought I was a lib

>>34846641
hahahaha. that sounds fun.

[b][/b][s][/s][i][/i]

>>0

>>28475932
>>28475932

[color=#FFFFEE].[/color]

[b][i][s]

[spoiler]

>>34846692
>>34846706
>>34846713
>>34846714
not sure if bot but I just had flashbacks to designing my own guild page in Neopets in like 2001, good times

You changed your last name on instagram but not on FB. So I think you are not married but did at as a reaction. Idk. I've been feeling like shit about seeing the engagement for a year now.

I want to shout and scream and cry. I cannot do or say anything correct. Boundries? How to fullfill the needs I have? Making me compromise and size my needs down for you? For why?? So that you can ignore any needs I try to convey? I will never be good enough and it's time for you to decide wtf you want or gtfo.

I'd like to have a relationship but I am very shy.

I don't care about anything anymore. I can't do a good job at anything anymore.every day it feels like another rat race. Another experience in falling short again. I want to be a good normie, so badly, but I just can't. I can't. I'm a piece of shit. There's no point in trying anymore. Hasn't been for a while. But.. I'm getting to the point where I'm not even going to pretend I'm okay around others anymore. I'm just, things aren't going well. But when I say anything, people talk to me like my life is awesome. On paper some aspects are really cool. But in reality it's a nightmare. I just think that maybe everyone would've been better off I hadn't been born. It's all my fault. I keep screwing up even basic tasks and I'm a burden. It's not fair to everyone else. Yet I persist. I don't know how to feel about that, but it's not a good feeling.

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>>34834249
I lost an 8/10 girl in looks that everyone said we'd look good together because I chose a 4/10 that I was attracted to over her, that everyone else hated.

Now no longer talking to either.

I hate my life

I could have had so much aura but I don't. I don't even care about romance I just want the friendship back

>>34844506
You're probably right. She's been friends with these girls for far longer than she's been dating me and hasn't really had any problems with them. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

>>34846823
Its a nightmare because you make it a nightmare. Think positive, choose to be happy and actively not get upset about things that are unchangeable or arn't exactly what you think it should be. Appreciate what you have and the more positive emotions you put into it, the more life will feed you positivity.

Are you seeing the glass half full or empty?

I am so tired of crying

>>34846841
I'm not sure if I make it a nightmare and thus feel bad. Or if it's the other way around and I feel bad for no reason which sabotages everything. I'm beyond the point of thinking happy. Real life isn't a karma system. Things are chaotic and random, and then we die. We just tell ourselves stories that make it seem more coherent. My last positive emotions went into spending time with family but being positive wasn't some magic spell to make the day go better. I still screwed things up. Maybe I care too much. But either way the glass is half empty, because that's all I deserve.

>>34846857
Reframe your mindset or you will always wallow in your own shit.

Being in chronic pain is making everything impossible, I cook dinner and I'm in agony by the time I'm done, it's pathetic.

44 still alone had to fuck up serioualy the last time i dated someone i actually love against all advice and reason. demons are real

>>34846844
What happened?

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>>34834249
>not even 30 yet
>went through a stressful event that gave me a few very noticeable dark eye floaters in the center of my vision
>miserable being in nature, miserable driving anywhere
>only thing enjoyable is gaming and even then can still see them sometimes
>pretty much permanent besides risky laser treatments or literally draining your eye fluid and refilling it with artificial shit

wow very cool universe, thank you. life was just starting to stabilize again too.

>>34838517
>brainfog through half the day but still feel vaguely sick and miserable
decent chance that probiotics would change your life. especially if your diet is shit or not much variety. start slow and ramp it up gradually.

>>34847058
Who cares

>>34847083
I have quite a few in each eye. Moreso in my right. They have been there since i was a kid and had extreme headaches. Sometimes when my blood pressure is high or I have had alot of salt, I see more.
Usually they look like a squiggly/worm or dots.

>see another guy
>he's wearing jewelry

Lmfao

>>34847135
I'm not him and also care. Get it off your chest

>>34846363
If the worst really does happen, please don't blame yourself. If he wants to die that badly you being there or not wouldn't really make a difference. I'll still say a prayer for Dan though and I hope he pulls through.

>>34847139
I have like dozens of clear ones that I luckily rarely see. but I have 1-2 dark ones in each eye that constantly torment me.

hoping my brain just eventually decides to ignore them.

Making chicken wings for dinner. Felt like a witch creating a love potion to then bathe my sacrificial chickens in the creation so that my husband will love me more.

I didnt particularly like cutting the little extra tips off the wings - felt like what chopping up fingers would be like >_<

>>34846830
Not to be the incel redpill guy but if the 8/10 was into you, chances are that choosing the other girl over her has increased the odds of her becoming more attracted to you. Also if you were meant to be(in the sense that she is indeed attracted to you and your vibes match) she will forgive this.

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Just took a big dump and on cloud nine

>>34847528
Thank god

Dear god I hope I can find a roommate in time for the new school year.

Someone called me beautiful and I busted out in tears, AGAIN.
This is the kind of day we are having.

>>34847528
I've heard heroin's pretty good, but it can't possibly compare to the afterglow of a really good shit

>>34846830
Reconnect