I started doing sports, I got into the best university in my country, I started doing volunteer work, I began taking care of my mental health, I became more social, lost a big of my shyness, became more elloquent and confident and even lost some weight. Yet, I still don't have friends or a girlfriend.It's not like I think I'm entitled to a gf, it's just that I'd expect to happen naturally at some point. Yet, women are still disinterested in me. For example, there was one time when I tried to strike a conversation with my coursemate at university - not with a second intention, I just wanted to meet her, and we even attended a place in common prior to joining school (I could tell because she was carrying a bag with a logo from that place). We talked for two minutes and she eventually began ignoring me and went to talk to her other friends. Other women in general don't seem very receptive to, judging by how they look. In contrast, I was able to make a male collegue and a few male acquaintances at university, at the volunteering program, and even talked to a stranger guy one day at an event.Why I can't have success in platonic relationships with women?
you talked to one woman for 2 minutes and then decided you can't have relationships
Centering your life around getting a gf isn't a worthy pursuit.
>>34835725>best university in my countryLeverage this into a position of prominence.
>>34835725I think you should try hanging out with your new colleagues and acquaintances outside of where you usually see them! I go to university and honestly I am a little on guard whenever men approach me there. Maybe it isn't the same in your country, but in the US there is a very prominent hookup culture at uni, so that usually not the best way to meet women. However, if you can build friendships with these guys you could probably meet women through them and it would feel a lot more relaxed since you guys would likely share interests and have someone to help guide the introduction. Either way, I think befriending these guys would be good for you! Being single isn't so bad when you have good people around you
>>34835779Women generally avoid me and look at me with a thousand-yard stare. It's made me so insecure around them.
>>34835839I second this.Hang with friends, see them interacting with women and maybe they will even introduce you to them(people lower their guard a little when introduced from friends).And if you have a good friend they can even be your wingman at some point...I don't know how much time you have been "improving yourself" but these things will become obvious once you are in a decent spot.Socializing is very important.But just choose your friends wisely, you don't need assholes who will undermine or ridicule you because you aren't as sociable.
>I'd expect to happen naturally at some pointYou put work into everything else. Why not social?>>34835867The more insecureyou feel the worse your outcomes will be
dudeyou did everything except to do something for yourself. you present the situation as if all that you do was centered on finding a gf, without value on it's own. It's not doing things that connect you with people. it's *enjoying* things.Screw all previous attempts, go and have fun, doing whatever the fuck sounds fun. If a woman happens to be there and maybe even gives you some attention, ignore that and have more fun. If woman persists, have a conversation, but not with a motive of catching her in your trap, just explain to her how much sheer fun you're having.confidence, enjoynment and independence will earn you a soulmate, eventually. If they won't, you won't even notice
>>34835725You gotta find someone who agrees to be your gf. Disregard once disagreement confirmed
>>34835725Most men don't have to "try" to get a gf. Don't take this the wrong way, but if you found yourself needing to put in effort, it's possible that you're socially maladapted and look not ugly but strange/awkward. In short, you're likely a weirdo. Again, I'm not trying to insult you, I'm a weirdo too, but if women are just not interested in interacting with you much and all it's the most likely explanation. Women are very fined tuned to social queues and body language, they can pick this shit up like it's a sixth sense, and women don't like weirdos. it is what it is.Your only chance is to try to find a woman that is also a weirdo. Forget about the glamorous Stacy normie girls, they're not for you, only weirdo girls will like weirdo boys. Also note, "weirdo" is not synonymous with being a virgin or shy or even being chaste. Normie women will not date weirdo men but normie men will date weirdo women. Unless they're some kind of molestation victim or are some kind of manhating queer, weirdo women have sexual needs the same as normie women. There are also fewer weirdo women than weirdo men in the first place, even before adding competition from normies into the equation. But it's either take the risk or die a lonely virgin. Put yourself in situations where you can meet some weirdo women, like niche hobby meetups or conventions or VGM shows, and pray you find one that's single. You can looksmaxx if you want, but unless you get some kind of clout or money you're just going to be a good looking weirdo and normie girls will still not want anything to do with you.
>>34836046Strongly disagreeI know men who have been lonely and single for years "doing whatever the fuck sounds fun." I have a friend who has traveled all across Europe and the Middle East, sails and has his own boat, plays in an amateur sports league, goes out with us for dinner and drinks all the time. He does a ton of cool shit, and he's been single all his life. It's very easy for men to remain single if they just do their own thing and "have fun." Very few women will put themselves out there just because a guy is being the life of a party, and if they do they can lose interest just as quickly if another guy catches their eye. If you're just trying to live life and don't really care about women, then sure yeah doing your own thing and just having fun and vibing is good advice. If you're explicitly trying to find a woman, like OP is, that's horrible advice. A MTG tourney at your local games shop could be a great way to spend time having fun and meeting new people, but also a great way to almost certainly never meet women, let alone an attractive single woman. If you want to catch fish, you need to go where the fish are and you need to cast a line.
>>34837421right, so you know one guy who is still single. now that's a great basis for an argument not to have fun in life.The news is i have also traveled most of europe and most of asia, found multiple women while traveling, got into three serious relationships over a period of 3 years and i'm currently in one of those, planning a marriage and some sort of stabilisation in life. Before that, i was becoming one with a couch for years, wallowing in self pity and wasting time on 4chan.yes, it can go wrong, it's how statistics work. but you anon, are just retarded. OP is doing all he can to catch the fish and the fish know better. to create a meaningful connection you need to be a genuine person not acting like a pimp or predator
>>34838003>durr your example doesn't count because you only gave one and didn't spend time breaking down each and every person you know who's like thatI'm not going to give the life story of every lonely guy I know for some stranger to prove a point because that would take all fucking day, I have things to do. I gave one of the examples that stands out the most to me but notice how I said I know MEN, PLURAL. Silly me to trust a mongoloid like you to know how to extrapolate.>now that's a great basis for an argument not to have fun in lifeNow where did I say that, you fucking retard? Oh wait, I didn't. What I said was, "going out and having fun is horrible advice if you're actually trying to meet women, because you'll either end up not encountering many women if you like the wrong activities or you might get so caught up you miss your chance." I never said not to have fun in life, not once.>The news is i have also traveled most of europe and most of asia, found multiple women while traveling, got into three serious relationships over a period of 3 years and i'm currently in one of those, planning a marriage and some sort of stabilisation in life. Before that, i was becoming one with a couch for years, wallowing in self pity and wasting time on 4chan.You absolutely had some hopes of getting laid in your travels, you are a liar before God and everyone in this thread if you say otherwise. I doubt you are such an exceptional man that women threw themselves in front of you if you were truly on your own business while traveling, especially considering you had the free time to travel like a bum and are getting into a greencard marriage.
>>34835725>there was one time when I tried to strike a conversation with my coursemate at universityDon't bother unless they showed interest first. Being in the same course as someone doesn't really mean anything, they still view you as a stranger. You have to join a club where you're forced to interact with each other.
>>34837399>Most men don't have to "try" to get a gf.absolute bullshitmen who don't have to try have rare traits (wealth, looks, status, etc) they indeed have women sending signs of interest or outright flirting with them.the rest of us (this means most men) have to work on our game and self-improve for years
>>34835725Ok so u have a half hearted attempt to talk to her.. and then you gave up after one try
>>34839719>absolute bullshit>the rest of us (this means most men) have to work on our game and self-improve for yearsThe only people that think this are terminally online zoomers in the west who self-select themselves into this weird niche world of self-improoving and blackpill shit.Starting from a broad, global perspective, you're wrong. If hypergamy were really as strong as people claim, then races like Mexicans and Vietnamese and shit would be extinct because all their women would trade up for tall white guys. And yet, I see plenty of dime piece latinas with 5'2" corny ass, barrel-bellied beaners. Actual 10/10 smokeshows with actual goblin-ass la creatura motherfuckers. Very clearly, if you have an intact common culture then looks or needing to "improoove" isn't as important.Looking at the white western world, most normal dudes don't have to try that hard to get a GF. When I was a kid 15, 20 years ago, plenty of dudes ended up with girlfriends just by existing around girls until they started vibing with one. Even these days amongst zoomers I still see plenty of couples - I employ 4 people under the age of 25, and two of them are married already. Neither of those dudes are over 6', look particularly good, or are rich. Just average guys but they did it.I'm not going to be a retard and deny there are problems, or that it is getting harder. I have friends in SEA that tell me the women are getting infected by western mentality and becoming pickier, for instance. THE FUCKING PHONE is a global cancer and blight. But it is factually false that "most men" need to improoove for years. Again, there's a lot of selection bias in that you're a romantically unsuccessful guy who is getting advice from other romantically unsuccessful guys. And the truth is, most romantically unsuccessful guys are just socially maladapted due to autism or childhood trauma, and that is the #1 worst trait to have for dating that no amount of looksmaxxing or money or anything will fix that.
>>34835725you need to act as a real men
>>34835725First of all, you mentioned that you approached a woman. You are going to need to do a lot more than that. Approach 100 girls then get back to us. Do 100 in a month if you want to learn faster.Women want to have fun. If you walk up to a girl and have some boring conversation with her she will despise you. On a deeper level you need to focus not do much on external things, your car, your hobbies, etc. But what is going on inside yourself. I’m saying this not to insult you but to give you real advice. The whole tone of this post, up to the image, makes you sound whiny and needy. You sound like a bitch. If there is even a hint of this around a girl you like she will not want anything to do with you. The shortcut would be to get help from a guy that already gets laid, that will do you much better than coming here. The changes you will have to make are to your mindset and attitude. You need to communicate to women like you don’t care what they think about you. You need to let go and be able to have fun with them, not be worried about how you look. You need to be comfortable in any environment you find yourself in. You are there to have fun with people. You need to be able to feel things and flow, you can’t be constantly thinking logically and expect to connect with women. Get out of this box of trying to fit in or whatever. Your attitude should be this is me, take it or leave it. And if you have this attitude people start liking you funny enough. Is your energy magnetic or is it flat/desperate. Don’t wait for approval, internally approve of yourself. Btw it’s good that you sense women avoid you, but don’t take this personally. Think of it as your energy needs to be modified. I mentioned talking to 100 girls, that will help you but will help you way more is learning how to change your energy. You can’t be looking for approval. Stand like you belong where you are. You don’t need shit from her. If you do this right women start noticing you
>>34840035Hypergamy is real but the blackpill understanding of it is weird as you say. Women connect with people they like as you say. If you have issues connecting with people in general then it will be hard to attract women. So the real issues that need to be addressed are why do you struggle to have fun with people, not with women specifically. Hypergamy is just saying that there are some guys that are fucking a LOT of women and there are many men who are getting nothing. The issue is not with the guys who get laid the most, it’s really with the guys who get nothing or scraps. A lot of women are desperate for sex and connection, but they will not hook up with a guy they don’t connect with (duh). That’s why guys need to learn to have fun and vibe with women, that is really the only issue. It can be a struggle to learn how to do this if you never learned, especially if you had a bad childhood like you mentioned. The issue has nothing to do with their height or money, and any women talking about these things is basically tricking men who are too dumb to tell. Or she wants men who will buy her shit.
>>34835725No woman will ever love you anon, 90% of women out there do not love their man, they don't know how to love anyway; they only tolerate him as long as he provides.Learn to be stoic and get by without their fake and subpar love therefore about 90% of women should be invisible to you. Rise up above your biological programming.Take care of your health anons and find distractions to help pass the time, that's all most people do anyway, the difference is they do it with somebody so time spent together flows differently. It's merely an illusion though
>>34840654>Women want to have fun. If you walk up to a girl and have some boring conversation with her she will despise you.bro I'm not spending the rest of my life doing some kind of charisma on command LARP to make some foid treat me like I'm good enough to keep around. anyone who expects that of you has some kind of personality disorder and you shouldn't be enabling them.>don't you want to get laid thoughI want a wife, nigger. Being married to the kind of person you're describing would be hell.
>>34840710>So the real issues that need to be addressed are why do you struggle to have fun with people, not with women specifically.I already addressed this>most romantically unsuccessful guys are just socially maladapted due to autism or childhood trauma, and that is the #1 worst trait to have for dating that no amount of looksmaxxing or money or anything will fix thatIt's literally an insurmountable problem. The only way to "fix" it is to undergo years of intensive cognitive therapy and even then you might never achieve normiedom. I even already gave the solution >>34837399 which is that you have to find neurodivergent, weirdo, maladjusted girls, because they're the only ones that you're gonna vibe with or who won't be repulsed by your autism>Hypergamy is just saying that there are some guys that are fucking a LOT of women and there are many men who are getting nothing.That is not what hypergamy actually is, that is a result of hypergamy.Hypergamy is women having unrestrained sexual selection and accruing a large number of sexual partners due to constantly trying to "trade up" to higher status males, and specifically using sex and sexuality to attract the best mate available to her at the time regardless of her circumstances (boyfriend, husband, kids) rather than settling down with one option. Men are not hypergamous, women are. >The issue has nothing to do with their height or money, and any women talking about these things is basically tricking men who are too dumb to tell. Or she wants men who will buy her shit.But yeah, this is also true. A lot of times while women will be hypergamous for tall or rich guys, most of the time the "best mate available" is just the guy who makes her pussy tingle the best. Sometimes that guy is rich and/or tall, but women fuck a lot of broke losers, short guys, even bald or fat or ugly guys because they managed to get the pussy tingling.
