How do you recover when you feel absolute zero self esteem or self worth?Therapist used to say you recover by achieving small things, and when the obstacle is too large, you should segment it and achieve it in small steps.However, what do you do when you undervalue the worth of those steps, so even achieving them feels minimal? Or when you undervalue the worth of a large achievement? How do you get out of that mindset?For example, I used to value drawing anime girls. I'm bad at it, perspective is hard to train. Compared to a year ago, I have improved but still the shape is eyeballed, simmetry is impossible and parts don't fit together in space. Each individual drawing doesn't look progressively improved, and even if I managed to draw perfectly, where would I go from there if there isn't a comic industry in my country and the life of a drawfag is hard and devoid of respect?Maybe investing in that goal is a bad choice, but putting effort into a job that provides stability e.g law, where you learn technical things you don't normally use also is a challenge where the steps are extensive and individually worthless, while the end result can be minimized as helping someone you're not personally involved with and a sum of money. People rationalize they do it for the money to use on themselves.The conundrum for a NEET is that the things you'd use money for become shameful and seemingly wrong investments. Then what else is left to feel rewarded with? How do you put value in those individual little steps when you can't see the value of the whole thing?
>How do you put value in those individual little steps when you can't see the value of the whole thing?you don'tschopenhauer said "A man can do what he wants, but he cannot want what he wants."you'd better learn to be honest with yourself instead of berating yourself for not doing things you don't want to do>but if I don't do those things [bad things] will happenso what? bad things always happen, the wisest option is not to pick the path in life you love the most, but the one you hate the leastlook at yourself in the metaphorical mirror and look at what you do during the day, what do you do? not what do you want to do, what do you actually do?
>>34837407You don't get self-esteem or self worth from achievements at all. You get those things from what you are, not from what you do. Which is to say you have to derive worth from character, not from occupation. Anyone who is honest, compassionate, just, generous, patient, and principled while also valuing those attributes in himself can't fail to be happy, secure and know where his worth comes from. So your issue is that either you lack those qualities, or you don't value those qualities appropriately.
>>34838011I think it's more accurate to say "you get those things from what you think you are", big differencealso, what you do defines what you are, perhaps not completely, but it does
>>34837407Therapists are money making shylocks and scammers. You're not wrong to be fucked up. The whole society is a fucked up evil place. There's no way someone can be happy, healthy and normal when everything preys on you.
>>34838081crawling in my skiiiiin
>>34838081The whole society is fucked up but this is your single only try at existing and it's in your best interest to try to become happy nonetheless.>>34838052I think so to, but there's the great mystery. People benefit from you feeling like shit, makes their job easier, but that feeling takes root if you felt it constantly growing up. Now, how do you replace it? How do you cultivate feeling confident and capable when the skill ceiling has become so high thanks to those who specialize and help has become so little valuable thanks to those who manage services? Any ideas on How to be meaningful and Who to do it for?
>>34838538Goodness has to be valued and treated as an end in itself. If it's ever mistaken for a means, you'll be driving yourself away from confidence and happiness rather than towards it. A man can only be counted happy based on his proximity to what he loves, and the man who loves goodness for goodness's sake is never far from what he loves, because he always has the power to make himself good. Someone who only values goodness as a means to an end has no way to guarantee his proximity to that end, and thus no way to become happy. Valuing anything else more than you value your own virtuous conduct and character is a guaranteed recipe for misery, because it places your desires outside of your capacity to reach them.
>>34837407>However, what do you do when you undervalue the worth of those steps, so even achieving them feels minimal? Or when you undervalue the worth of a large achievement? How do you get out of that mindset?create objective benchmarks. "i sold a piece today for $20, even if I'm bad, there's people that like my bad art" stuff like that>Each individual drawing doesn't look progressively improved, and even if I managed to draw perfectly, where would I go from there if there isn't a comic industry in my country and the life of a drawfag is hard and devoid of respect?boorus to patreon/kofi commissions like all other novice artists start off with
>>34839421I have trouble with Extensive fields. Dunno how else to call it.Let's say I draw an anime girl from the front. Now I dunno how to draw her at 15 deg, 30 deg, 45 deg, etc full circle in the Y axis, next same 5 angles in the X axis, next 5 in the Z axis, then 3 dimensions rotated, then repeat all these for an extended hand, prone, open, side, thumbs up, counting, etc expressions, then the same for rotating a column, for the hip, for feet. etc.To master the field, I need to be competent in each of these exponential amount of subjects. I fear I will never finish and ask myself the point of all of it.I used to be a doctor. I forgot how to recall a shit ton of stuff, reading is familiar but I can't perfectly recall shit as is needed, so currently I can't work seeing patients. For each drug, I have to know adverse effects in: Fetus, kidney, liver, breastmilk. A family has 5 commonly used drugs with arbitrary names. Some of these have special properties and footnotes. Just about antibiotics I have to remember 120 different families, a similar number of diseases, standarized management, etc etc etc etc. That's only in the branch of infectology and there are like 5 other big branches out there.I know people focus on what they need in a use frequency basis. However for entry exams, a standarized contest of knowledge needs to be passed. Tackling this amount of arbitrary knowledge is daunting and demoralizing. Everything is equally difficult to relearn, time consuming, useless until a specific person shows up.What can I do to ease the mental fatigue and anxiety extensive knowledge fields cause?
>>34838597I'm afraid that I might cause greater evils by misplacing my goodness
>>34837407You can derive self worth from literally anything.You just have to frame it that way in your head.I am not a bodybuilder and I have a pretty mid body but I went for a walk today after work and that's more exercise than most people get, so I'm happy with that.I used to think my job was meaningless because it doesn't "help people" like a doctor or teacher, so that would hurt my self worth. Then I started thinking about how my job as quality assurance at a factory is actually super helpful, because I'm saving a ton of people the effort of having to do a recall, and helping people not get hurt by using defective products. It sounds stupid, but you have to kind of gaslight yourself into thinking you have value, because almost nobody will tell you that once you're an adult.
I have 0 self-esteem because I'm a retarded 35 year old virgin that can't do anything right. I have nothing else in my life besides my job and I'm horrible at that too. When I compare myself to other people it's even worse because I see how inferior I really am. Even people 10+ years younger than me have accomplished so much more and have actual lives. I can't gaslight myself because deep down I know I'm complete shit as a person. This is reality
>>34841367comparison is the killer of happiness
>>34841216Anon, if you mange to gaslight yourself, that means you're an impressionable dumbfuck. It's not as if that were a bad thing, but others who aren't may be too smart for that, not smart to be the top rulers of the world, but smart enough to become an obstacle.
>>34842120You never have to gaslight yourself into positivity, because truth and good are the same principle. Being able to see it is only a question of impartiality and rationality, meaning anyone who can't find a way to be optimistic is severely lacking in intelligence, not suffering from an abundance of it.
>>34842399Nigga, you're writing nonsense. Besides, this was never about who's intelligent, it's whether or not you're capable of helping someone. If you were capable, you would be able to make sense of the person's mindset and tailor a solution he can see. The challenge is yours and withdrawing is your decision.
>>34842539I wasn't the one you were initially replying to, I'm just letting you know that anyone who says he's depressed because he's too smart to be positive minded is just conceited. Intelligence and positivity go hand in hand, for the same reason why wisdom and happiness go hand in hand. It's only possible to be unhappy to the same degree in which wisdom is lacked.
>>34842120You are not immune to propaganda. We are all impressionable dumbfucks.
I don't think OP has read a single post itt
Is my good boy going to sleep? My little cute good boyAnd is my good boooy, going to dream some nice things? YeahJust like a good boooy..You're such a good boy. You know that? Yeah... You're such a good boooy.. my little, good booy..Good night good booy.. my beautiful, good boyyy
>>34841927Reality is hierarchal, so what now?
>>34845743Society isn't reality, it's a shared delusion. You can just leave the delusion and live in reality, where you don't have to worry about "hierarchy".
>>34837407Do more irlshit socialshit less hobbyshit jobshit (unless you can meld everything together)
