>therapist: "boundaries aren't the same thing as personal space. boundaries are what you use if you want to progress or deepen a relationship with somebody"wtf?
>>34839830why do you use a therapist as a man?
>>34839830They were trying to explain that there exist metaphorical boundaries which will govern relationships with other people, and not to confuse this with personal space which is a boundary that references literal, physical space.Your therapist sounds like a brainlet, though, if those were the exact words and my sincere advice would be to find a therapist who is smarter than yourself. It might be hard if you’re an autistic genius or some shit but you literally cannot get advice that digs deep from somebody you’re judging as an idiot or getting constantly confused by.
>>34839830"Boundaries" in the colloquial sense are different to how we use "boundaries" in a clinical senseIn colloquial, "boundaries" are synonymous with personal space, or telling others how they can or cannot treat you, and more closely resembles rules than genuine boundariesWhile in the clinical sense, boundaries are basically preferences, terms and conditions, what you're comfortable and not comfortable in a relationship, &c. You usually have to negotiate them when getting closer to someone, what you two can compromise on, what both your limits are and the extent of those limits, &c. But more importantly, they have to be mutual (instead of strictly personal), and agreed upon/consented to by every party involvedThey typically signal serious/good faith intent when entering a relationship, but require continuous effort, which is why a lot eventually abandon the clinical/therapeutic view on boundaries in favour of the colloquial
>>34839850>my sincere advice would be to find a therapist who is smarter than yourself.He did. That's his problem.
You should probably just ask chat gtp or go on YouTube and find a therapy tuber. Real therapists are retarded and don't actually care about you, as evident by the very shallow and wrong advice they gave you.
>>34839830I think he's trying to say boundaries aren't just to keep people away from you. (push people away because you dont want to talk)THey're so people that actually like you, can form a stronger opinion about you. (You talk to them but only if they come correct, and you hold them to it.)Atleast thats the sense I made out of it.
>>34839850>>34841604Sounds like y'all just mad your therapist isn't telling you what you want to hear>>34841615This mo'fo (almost) gets it
>>34843634>y’all>omits verbFuck off, miss. You’re retarded.
>>34839830Your therapist is correct. We make our expectations and needs of people clear by setting boundaries with them.If a person can tell you're a doormat without any boundaries, they're either going to lose interest in you or use that knowledge against you and take advantage of you. If you don't respect their boundaries, they're going to leave you or emotionally disengage with you.Two people can only grow close if they respect each other's boundaries.
>>34839841Not the OP but I can't vent to my wife about my problems, I have two good friends but one is a complete blabber mouth who couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it, and the other is a friend but he's also a cousin so it would be really awkward to complain about some things to him. I have shitty life disorder and it would be nice to have someone to talk to about it that can give unbiased advice and won't share what I said.
>>34839830>Get the fuck away from mevs>Please stop doing this thing that pisses me off so we can continue our loving relationship.
>>34839850Both are metaphorical boundaries. They serve different functions but neither is literal.You're retarded.
>>34839850>>34844709there weren't any metaphors being used in the first place. the first explanation (the op's therapist gave) was correcting a misconception that only exists because of how the concepts overlap with each other. the second was actually a LITERAL explanation of what boundaries are, because that's how they LITERALLY work: as a way of getting closer to somebody by making clear what both your limits are, and structuring the relationship around it. it's how you make a functional relationship functional
>>34839850>>34844709Do millennials not know what metaphors are anymore? There were barely, if any, figures of speech in that post
>>34839830Boundaries is just a broader term, personal space is one boundary that can be enforced
>>34839830Honestly, I don't know what the fuck happened to therapy these days. It seems like therapists don't know their shit anymore, and you can't find any who doSo many "mental health professionals" giving wrong definitions for what boundaries are, or saying that protecting your peace is "abusive", or that you do owe people shit, or that couples need to fight more to protect their relationship (one of my ex-therapists actually said this), or that relationships require discomfort to progress, or that always choosing yourself can be the "death to social cohesion" (another ex-therapist), or that not taking things personally is actually unhealthy for you (another), or that trusting your gut is often a bad idea, or that "no" isn't a complete sentence, and so many other bullshit that I don't know where to begin withWhat the fuck happened to therapy where so many conservatives and incels are infecting it like this (and most of my therapists were women, wtf???)? It makes me dread what happens if men going to therapy actually became a thing. The amount of horrible shit they'll be taught
