i recently lashed out over someone i had an ldr with and was friends with, for context im a bpd demon and can just have random outbursts whenever and i was having a terrible night and just remembered about how this girl wronged me even though we were friends. long story short even though she acknowledged she was horrible to me she got mad at me for "being too mean about it" and hounding on her or whatever. and so i decided to cut off that friendship now that im calmer and im just utterly appalled at how much i didn't matter to her. before cutting contact completely i saw her e - flirting and attention whoring and spending time with a mutual friend who knows she treated me like shit and agreed with me, but has seemingly also decided on ghosting me because i guess im not a priority. it sucks knowing that i emotionally invested myself in these chronically online people who all just attention whore to feel better, and it sucks seeing her be posting about how happy and shit she is while im the only one self isolating because i just genuinely have no friends or a real friend group to hang out with at this point and they keep posting about how fucking happy they are. i really hate how i just keep finding myself like this knowing it's all pointless and didn't matter. i'd say i don't deserve it but i feel like i do for being such an idiot
In times she is turbulent, I show her I have stayed for her. It will be nice to have fun again, vidja and such.
>>34841418Well, that's what you're saying. Something new to learn about humans. In that situation, I'd just listen to music and eat ice cream. Who cares what some normies who don't care about you do? Stop stalking them and you'll be fine.
>>34842286it just sux because i basically erased an entire circle of people, it really sucks being alone even if i can't stand these guys. i've always had a problem with socializing
>>34842317this and the fact im the only one affected, it just feels like such a sick joke
You have to learn to peaceful with just being alone. Sounds like hilarious bullshit but it isn't. You're effected because you gave people the one power you have that they shouldn't take away, who you are deep down inside. Own that power and be the real you. Stop needing friendships, relationships, and all of that. The common man only wants family and a few people in their lives while using everyone else. You and me are probably the same. However, we need to keep moving forward and seeing life for what it is. Feeling the comfort of being alive like how a buck feels when it goes to get leaves to feed on in a new wilderness.
>>34841418Have some self respect, if she treated you like shit, she can fuck off.You must be young, because the first thing one feels when cutting contact with dirtbags like that is inner peace.I has happened to me too.And in your case, they are online baka, which makes it even easier.Also, block them from everywhere, who cares about their social media attention whoring?
>>34842911I removed them from everything, it just sucked to still see them be like "oh I'm so happy I feel like I can do anything", it really just makes me wonder what everyone else has that I don't. Was I really such a chore to someone who called me their soulmate? It isn't the first time I've been undermined or disrespected like this but I hope it's the last. I also don't like the fact all my mutual friends who agree with me being treated terribly are still publicly hanging out with her, though it's not like they attempt to talk to me anyway. I just feel like I'm starting to hate people more and more as I grow older
>>34842926Okay, so you have bpd, so I'm sorry if I was too harsh.Even if I don't have bpd myself, I have been in this situation with friends I knew since highschool.At some point, I was literally spacing my interactions with them because they were too draining to be daily.And then, one day I finally told one guy to fuck off in a party when he tried to ridicule me.I left the chat groups that guy was in and blocked him from everything I could. And then the whole group just stopped talking to me, not even a word in months.Of course, I felt like everyone was fake and betrayed, but also relieved to not have to deal with them anymore.It's been like 6 years since then, and I actually feel proud now.What I am trying to say is, never let anyone step on you.
>>34842324It seems you were never alone. That's just how human relationships are. Don't let this small setback affect you, or you'll get stuck.
