I was informed that my brother recently had killed himself. I am estranged from my family for over a decade, but the police contacted me with the terrible news.We grew up together as kids, him being 8 years younger than me. I ran away from home around 18 years old because I was suicidal due to our parents. I didn't stay in contact with anyone from my family at all. We didn't have any bad blood between us when I left, but we weren't as close after our parents divorced when I was 12. I can only imagine how he felt about me for abandoning him like that.I was even thinking about reaching out to him this year, but now that possibility is hopeless.How does one even begin to forgive themselves for not reaching out, sooner? Right now I feel like I've made the biggest fuck up of my life that will haunt me to my grave.
>>34841922i have a brother from different mother, 9 years younger, whom i only contacted and met for the first time in my life when i was 25 and he was 16. If not for my intervention we would have never met, he wasn't even aware of my existence beforehand.So, being a person who did reach out in time, i can tell you my feelings are mixed.like he is a different person and was it not for the blood tie, we would never keep the contact. Different personalities, different interests, different solutions to similar life problems that left us with different horizons of the future.I don't regret, but i am a bit disappointed, desu. I'm glad i did it, because it lifted the "what if", that haunts you now, but the way things are is not really satisfying.pretty sure you not being present wasn't a major reason for your brother's death. Also pretty sure your presence wouldn't have prevented it
>>34842044>Also pretty sure your presence wouldn't have prevented itmost probably stall it until just past new year's eve
>>34842044>>34842066Thanks anons. This helps me put it into perspective
