I finished college ~3 months ago and realized that I don't really have any friends. The guys I saw daily and generally had a fun time with I now don't see at all. This always happens to me. I usually get along very well with people I'm “obligated” to see regularly (or at least I think so. Maybe they were just polite.), but once that obligation ceases to exist, I fail utterly at transferring my “school friends” into real friends. I usually don't even try because I don't want to come on too strong, and because it is much easier to just play vidya and bedrot than actually reaching out to people. It doesn't help that I'm usually the weirdo among normies, but I've gotten pretty good at hiding it.So I thought about messaging one of the guys from college. I got along with him great, and we share some common interests. He even invited me to go out for a drink with some of his friends once, so I don't think he secretly despises me. On one of the last days of college we actually talked about staying in contact, but so far nothing has come of that.I don’t know what to message him though. All I know is that I don't want to stay this friendless loser. I thought about just recommending him a book I recently finished, but that feels too random. In general I don't know if it is appropriate to just message someone out of the blue.Need help deciding if/what I should write to him.19m in rural europe, if that matters.
>>34843900>Almost forgot.I'm trans too, if that matters.
>>34843900Can’t help you there. Too autistic and full of self hatred to actually enjoy being around other people.
Happened to me every time I did the same (college, school, work, etc). Unless you were childhood friends or something, the friends you were forced to make were mostly out of convenience since y'all were stuck next to each other for a good while. Without that external force holding your friends together, what exactly would've kept them together?The friends I do still keep in contact with after all these years are mostly online friends (also about as weird as I am) who share similar interests and have compatible personalities. They're friends because we all decided to spend time with each other, not because we had to be there.I'd say hit up that guy for a conversation, especially if you were on good terms. I can't remember the last time I was "annoyed" by a message from a friend who just wanted to reconnect - can you?
>>34846942Weirdly assuring to see that i'm not the only one this happens to.>can you?No, but extrapolating from my own experiences snd prjecting the results onto other people usually doesn't work very accurately for me. Still, you're probably right that i should write him.
>>34843900Just meet new people who cares about those old onesOr use the old ones to meet new people
>>34843900Message him friendly-neutral, but maintain some distance. If you receive no response it's no different than not sending a message.
>>34849846How exactly am i supposed to meet new people? All my coworkers are old enough to be my parents, my hobbys are all solitary, my interests too autistic, i don't drink and nightlife is dead where i live anyways.>>34849935I suppose you're right. Maybe i'm just overthinking this.
