i always have urgency to talk to my favorite person like i felt my day is not going so well if i dont talk with him, and i need his validation so badly, and i think he gonna hate me and leave me, he began so cold and i felt he gonna ignore me, how to stop the crave of validation from a man?
>>34846587You are doing the correct thing by caring what a man thinksIf you want to brainwash yourself with feminist propaganda, please reference… literally every other website online other than this one lmfao. “Don’t need validation from men” is mandatory over there there and they’re very skilled with pipelining you into man hate.
>>34846665I dont want to hate men, more like i need to be independent yk, i dont want my day depend on man that doesnt want me, so i dont know how to stop it, like i wanna kms if this man hate me, i dont want that
>>34846698It sounds like you have multiple problems coinciding. 1) youre devoting yourself to people that dont like you2) you are too clingythe answer to the first one is you need to get the hell away from someone that doesnt respect you.number 2 is a bit harder. Id journal whenever you feel a strong emotional pull to try and discern why you feel that way and think through what else you can do. id say youre seeking validation from others youre not giving to yourself. the emotions are there to remind you of your wants and needs and whether you handle them in a healthy way or not is your decision.if not id find other friends and family to spend time with you'd otherwise feel hopeless, dependent, whatever. youre not gonna make the emotion go away unless you do a ton of drugs and invite other problems into your life. naturally you care less when you age and right now youre probably just young and hypercharged caring what others think about you more than you should. young people are way more impressionable and elders are stubborn so its just a pendulum that chabges as you age.
>>34846717Thank you for saying that. I live on my own, and I guess being a 22 year-old girl, I’m still figuring things out emotionally. Maybe you’re right that, with some things, only time and growing older can make them easier.
>>34846779i know people think journaling is gay, but for me i consider my heart rate like the beats per minute to a song.we're used to being stressed and anxious all day (it's the cultural norm) so we often run at a high beats per minute internally.the problem is at a high bpm your brain is in retard mode. it can only think so quickly (consciousness is slow). if you're at a high speed driving, you only have time to react and not be proactive.the only remedy is to slow the fuck down. you can try box breathing, go for walks, yoga, meditation. for me writing is what helps me think when my thoughts are retarded and don't make any sense.they're tools to remain rational, especially in the very reactive and irrational world we live in today. an anecdote i remember is police that handled shooting incidents well described how their perception of time seemed to slow down. they were able to maintain calm in dispatching the armed subject, because they could remain calm and focused.if it's not journaling for you, look at some of the others i mentioned. there's even social groups for yoga you can do where everyone goes there for the same purpose. it can be the difference.it also helps to cut anything that is unproductive to your psyche. if you're stalking someones social media for instance worried they're living a secret life without you it's better to delete the social media. ignorance is bliss here, because relationship foundations are only built off trust.hope this helps.
>>34846587I wish to fill this vacant niche in a woman's life. Sadly it's a very small window
>>34846809Once you find someone you feel this way about, they will resent you for it. Never tell anyone how important they are in your life.
>>34846587Seeking validation from the opposite sex is completely normal.If you do things that would make potential mates uninterested in you, that is very bad from an evolutionary biology perspective for obvious reasons.From the way you write you sound pretty young though so be careful about making changes to your life you don't want to make because someone is manipulating you.If guys never approach you at all, maybe consider changing something up like your style or fitness. If one specific guy is telling you something like "You'd be so much hotter if you got a boob job" all the time then he's just a manipulative asshole and you should cut him out of your life.
>>34846698Well part of the reason why is because it is very enjoyable. The tension between him wanting you or not wanting you is enjoyable and painful at the same time. The desire for his validation is intoxicating but it is the DESIRE itself that creates that sweet painful feeling. You desire desire itself. It's because of how we are structured through language which I won't explain here. When you get him you may find your desire waning
>>34846587>>34846698you need girl friends, and very close ones, and you need to get the fuck away from that man you seek validation from. im a 25 year old girl, dealt with the same thing in my previous relationships and now im free from this kind of thinking. you are independent, emotionally aware, and compassionate. please, take all that you have to offer and see that you already have everything you need to be whole! you dont need to look for this mans confirmation of all these traits. i bet hes a bum too, nice guy, sometimes sure, but overall a bum. i wish there was a way we could connect, id love to find a new girl friend and help you get over this very insignificant person in your life! you swan, he frog <3
