What is your best way to cope with loneliness /adv/?I go to the gym, run and have hobbies, but I it still hurt too bad. I go to board game night 1-2x a week, but it only helps temporarily. I'm 34 yrs old, so I guess I'll have to live the rest of my life like this.
>gym, running, hobbies, board game nightWhen you went to board game night, did you talk to the people you were playing with? Did you use the board games as a springboard for switching to topics that both of you would be more interested in? Did you mention to people that hey, they're pretty cool and you want to hang out, so why not swap contact info and chat afterwards so we don't feel as lonely outside of this specific context in the remaining 95% of our waking hours?......you didn't just sit there like an autistic chud, only speaking when necessary so you can play your cardboard cutout games, right? Don't worry, I've done it before as well.
>>34846677seems like you have a good start. i'd increase your exposure around other people, especially if you are too scared to start up conversation. yoga and dance are more forced interaction with other people. there's a billion other group events out there you can trial too if you're a fish out of water during social occasions
>>34846677You don’t cope with it, you just realize that there wasn’t ever going to be a life without any melancholic solitude. Everyone has looked up at the bright moon on an unromantic night. We all know what that feels like. You only feel trapped by it in the moment, though. Try to stop dwelling.
>>34846769>Did you use the board games as a springboard for switching to topics that both of you would be more interested in?I have a hard time figuring out how to do this. When I try to start a conversation, it dies pretty quickly because I've no idea what to ask or say. We usually just talk when necessary for the game, then go home.
When you're alone all the time, you never feel lonely.
>>34846784>We usually just talk when necessary for the game, then go homeNta but goddamn dude that sounds supremely fucking lonely. If it were me, I think playing Magic or D&D or Settlers of Catan or whatever while only speaking while necessary like a Cambodian sweatshop would actually make me more lonely than just chillin at home.
>>34846784It takes a bit of improv + someone who's willing to listen to have a good conversation. That board game group sounds like autism central if it's just people silently playing mancala without having any conversations. Assuming people do want to talk, however, I'd imagine you'll want to start off with something relevant to what y'all are doing, then steer the conversation towards actually interesting topics. For example:>"So how'd you find this group?" -> "Oh, a friend introduced me" -> "A friend? My friends are more into [this thing], but they seem like fun">"Wow, Monopoly, when was the last time you played this?" -> "Oh, when I was a kid, we used to always play during Thanksgiving" -> "Yeah, when we had Thanksgiving we did [this thing]..." (and continue ping-ponging back and forth)
>>34846791>Nta but goddamn dude that sounds supremely fucking lonelyIt's not that bad, there is a bit of joking around here and there. For me it's enough to forget how lonely I am for the time being. >>34846818Thank anon for the explanation, it helps a lot. I guess I’m the problem, because I also go to events where you’re randomly assigned to a table with three or four people and then have 20 minutes to talk before moving to the next table, and I struggled there too with conversations.
>>34846839Yeah, if you're rotating between groups of different people that quickly it's no wonder you're having trouble establishing connections. With 4 people having a 20 minute conversation, each person would only have 5 minutes (if they're polite) to talk with the group, and it usually takes much longer than that to form a solid friendship.If you're struggling to conversate in general, I always try to show GENUINE(!!!) interest in whatever the other person's talking about while also trying to add my own two cents. Even if a guy might be talking about model trains like a sperg, if I'm actually willing to learn about something new and listen to what he has to say they'll be much more open to conversing about something different (and hopefully more to your tastes). But I don't want to just stand there slack-jawed like I'm sitting through a college lecture, either - with my meager interest in history I could ask them about the Transcontinental railroad and get a "diorama maker's" perspective while also possibly giving them fun facts about the trains they one.>"erm, so this is the 1799 ButtFuckEngine, in P scale, it's about 1:12 the size of a normal one...">so from a foot to an inch, huh? do they come smaller?>"oh yeah sure, there's the X Y Z scale, they go down to like 1:30...">oh wow! so how big would a railroad spike be?>"uhh, about a few millimeters, I guess. weird question, why?...">did ya know the transcontinental railroad was finished with a golden railroad spike? how would you include that in your models? (etc.)
>>34846914>it usually takes much longer than that to form a solid friendship.That makes sense. What are some good group activities where I could form friendships?
>>34846818Try doing this with a zoomerYou cant
>>34847341If you define friend as "someone you interact with regularly and enjoy interacting with..."...then ideally you want something where you're hanging out with the same (pleasant to be around) people on a regular basis, probably around a shared interest. Bonus points if the activity offers natural opportunities for chit-chat, either due to it being boring and quiet otherwise or because the subject matter lends itself to more expressive conversations.Also, remember to pick something you actually enjoy. Don't be the downer chud at the club who's only there to "meet friends" (creep out the normies) and doesn't actually like the thing the club is based around.>hiking/camping/wilderness shit is pretty, and usually has boring ass periods of time spent traveling to it>book club type stuff where you can express deeper/more revealing aspects of yourself in a safe environment>community college or whatever "learn for the sake of learning" classes you have in your area - except this time everyone actually wants to be there and is excited about it>volunteer events, where everybody there is at least acting like a good-spirited person>asking the friends you already have for ideas not listed above>or who the fuck knows maybe you see a cute girl at the bus stop every morning or something
