I am terribly afraid to have sex and I am a guy. I am not sure what exactly makes me uncomfortable but it might be a lot of things. For one, I don't think I look good naked. I am strong but I feel like my body isn't particularly aesthetic. I work out and go to the gym but my muscles are bulky looking. I am also basically the opposite of a nudist. I strongly prefer to have my clothes on as much as possible. I sleep in sweat pants and socks on and a shirt. Always. But it feels more like a comfort thing to me. I would also say I am romantically not very effective. To me, a woman becoming aroused over me seems so far fetched that I can't even fathom it. I have had some women take interest in me though which leads me to believe I am not horrific but those women were strange to me. Most women who took interest in me were in a relationship already or had kids already.So what can I do to cure my fear of sex? I would like to engage with it in a way that doesn't seem retarded. Like going to an escort or prostitute seems retarded. I would like to get a regular girlfriend and naturally progress to having sex. I also am worried about being rushed somehow. A friend told me that in most relationships, they have sex first when the woman wants to. So if you are a guy and you tell a woman "Hey, I don't think I am ready to have sex." The woman is going to think you are retarded or gay. Is any of that true?
>>34847730have you ever hugged, kissed or held hands with a woman? what're we working with anon?you're thinking of a lot of retarded shit.
>>34847740I have kissed exactly one woman, 5 times. Which doesn't seem like a lot. Strangely, I had asked her at one point if we were boyfriend and girlfriend because I really didn't know and she seemed shocked and told me "No, we aren't." I wasn't mad or anything but it did make me feel like I DEFINITELY know next to nothing about how relationships are supposed to flow. I was under the impression that multiple kisses is basically girlfriend / boyfriend tier. I told a friend this and he laughed. He said people can be fucking for months and still not be boyfriend and girlfriend. So I would say I am pretty lost on how the shit is supposed to go. But to answer your question, I have held hands with a woman(that same woman) and kissed one woman(same woman) and hugged one woman(same woman). How far behind am I?
>>34847730OP, rejoice, I'm here to alleviate your afflictions.Until two weeks ago I was a 37yo wizard with similar worries of yours: being seen naked (due to p. size), afraid to show my ineptitude at having sex and yet refused to bail out with an escort of some sort. Well, this I can tell you will be not issues when your turns comes: you will feel comfortable showing off naked in the bedroom. Shame will not cross your mind, in fact you could easily get naked first. Make her touch your body before she sees you, that made the trick for me.And the act of having sex? Contrary to what is said, having consumed copious amounts of porn media will guide your hand in what to do. You will pass not for an expert but, dare I say, a normie. Your main focus will be maintaining an erection without cumming instantly, it will be mostly a mind game. Having sex is tedious labor and enjoyable only by remembering it after the fact. Your personality or your ego will not change after it. All discussions about 'becoming a man' are utter bullshit.So, my anonymous friend, just continue to scroll porn and be around happy girls and clear your mind of these fears you expressed!
>>34847792i never performed a rooster dance where we examined each other's body features and flaws. if anything, i think the women were more worried about their own flaws/self-consciousness rather than counting moles or whatever else you're dreaming about. she never measured my penis and i never measured the depth of her vagina. it felt natural, and nothing like what you're panicking over.if you're fucking the first time you're usually under the covers anyways. it sounds like you're watching too much porn and have a retard movie projector in your head rn.you need to worry about getting a girlfriend, before you panic about third base.>pretty lostdid you ever ask her if she wanted to be your girlfriend?i'm old fashioned too and would assume, like you, but i'd have asked her to be my gf. women usually don't lead asking the other out.and i'd distance if she just wanted to play games. it sounds like she's shopping and wants friends with benefits. you be the judge of what you want there.
>>34847854I did ask her if we are boyfriend and girlfriend and he reply was basically "No, we aren't". I don't talk to her anymore but I think it is because she grew bored of me for whatever reason. I think I actually do okay with women if I can just get my foot in the door. I lucked out with meeting that woman from hinge. I'd strongly prefer to meet women in my area in real life somehow though. >>34847830I see. I guess it is weird to panic about that sort of stuff. I am also fearful of showing my flaccid dick to women. If you are anticipating sex, normally you wouldn't reveal a flaccid dick right? Due to my fears, it would feel difficult for me to get aroused in that circumstance.
>>34847870there's a difference between>are we boyfriend and girlfriend?>will you be my girlfriend?
>>34847730>So what can I do to cure my fear of sex?Nothing you have said screams fear of sex, more just lack of confidence in your self or body image issues. Really all you need to do is go with the flow. Sex is just a thing people do. Its very normal. Arguably its the whole purpose of life - to reproduce. You struggled to ride a bike the first time you tried, and it will be the same kind of thing here. Once you do it enough times you get more comfortable with it. The idea of being shit at it is likely off putting but like its whatever dude. Anything you do for the first time is likely to be somewhat shit and could have improvements over time.
>>34847730>I am terribly afraid to have sexThen don't. Problem solved.
>>34847830>having consumed copious amounts of porn media will guide your hand in what to do.It really, really won't.
>>34847870One of the issues I had with whores was exactly that. They are there to have sex so my fear would lock me from getting a boner. If you are spending time with a girl you like, kissing or cuddling, before tje sex start, would you get hard? From there, before actual sex, you can gain time with preliminaries to ease yourself over the situation. As I said, I find it more about a mental balance of arousal and restrain. >>34848143Greentext as much as you like but it did help. For me at least. I didn't say it will make you pass for a latin lover, but at least a normie, yes. She asked to get going again on the second night, so it couldn't have been that bad. Let's give porn its own little merits despite the many shortcomings.
>>34847730Women don't get aroused at you they get aroused at themselves as narcissistic autogynephiles. You just have to make them feel like they're wow so arousing. Get over it by having sex. You are ugly but so is the other person and you both just have to LARP in the moment to get it over and done with
