A therapist once asked me to think of a time when I was happy. I had no answer. Years later, I have very complicated answers.I was happiest when>I was with my first gfI also drove myself insane trying to get her to hold my hand when she wanted to date with no physical contact. Don’t really want to dwell on this one, so let’s just say it’s as weird as it sounds.>when I was the best at my job.The company was greedy and paid little. And it was a dead end gig.>when I saved a dog. This one was okay. But working to support myself means I have less and less time with an aging animal. He’s mostly taken care of by family now. Things I can say I’m proud of follow a similar pattern.>saved a guy in a hurricaneWas only there because I worked with people who hated me. >paid my own way through college. Took zero hand outs.Degree ain’t helping me right now.>never took out a loan, never went into debt, Savings still don’t buy a house.Things that normally bring people joy, don’t seem to work on me.>sexHad twice now. Both sexes. Hated the gay one. Felt nothing. Don’t know why I didn’t get the fuck out of there before he started. Was disgusted with the woman. Felt nothing. Except itchiness from her hair. Didn’t cum. Left afterwards wondering why I even did this. Don’t regret it because it still proves I am not an incel. Cont (1/2)
>>34848752(2/2)>buying products Expensive and don’t care unless they save money in the long run. >entertainment I like discussing it more than watching at this point. Both are fleeting. Just small distractions from life.>gambling I will lose money.>alcohol Only good for its effects. numbing everything, courage. But it still comes with terrible decision making. >weedEither nothing happens or I fall into a memory hole loop and stare out into oblivion. No in between. >workThe only thing that makes money now is building data centers with people who believe the earth is flat and binaural beats is a way better health plan than evil vaccines. “It’s not just sound it’s frequencies.”>familyDeal with the same shit drama day in and day out man. >GodIs probably punishing me and I don’t blame him. >dream goalsGetting paid for doing something I want to do is such a long shot that it’s not even worth devotion anymore. Sometimes I wonder if the guy ODing Heroin on a street couch had the right idea. Like total amount of happiness and all, he had a better ratio than a sober man living a normal life. I could just get very drunk and walk off the roof of my job site. It’s at least legal, so I’m not fucked if I fail. What’s left for me to do on this earth that might spark true joy?
who's your therapist
>>34848752>date with no physical contactYeah she didn't like you much so you're not wrong to suspect>proves I am not an incel.Needing to prove you're not an incel just proves you are an incelAt least you know you may have dick problems with the not cumming part>numbing everything, courage.Pussyshit. Do whatever you use alcohol to do but without it.>familyFinancial independence from them and their drama becomes irrelevant to youSounds like you like saving people so maybe fireman paramedic rescuer or whatever
