I used to blame the source of my mental state on inceldom and lack of a social life, but after years of ''improvement'' I'm just as empty inside as when I was a NEET rotting in my room browsing blackpill forums back in 2017. Since then I've gotten in really good shape, work, a gf, not as socially retarded. Despite all this it still feels so fucking empty, like none of it has any overall meaning, like I could lose all progress I've made and it would genuinely not bother me. I still have suicidal ideation, I haven't had a genuine happy feeling since I was in elementary school playing Runescape with my friends. I have money and still don't spend a dime because there's nothing I desire.I'm pushing 30 and still daydream daily about going back in time to my childhood and just freezing time so that I never have to grow up this hollow pathetic shell of a human being.
The great majority of people spend their whole lives making excuses rather than making progress. The habit of making excuses is fatal to your success. So, the question you have to ask yourself is, what excuses do you use not to move ahead? What is it that you think of? What is the excuse that looms into your mind whenever you think of something that you could do or have or be? What is the excuse that pops into your mind? You say, well, I could, I can't do that because, or another thing is, yes, but I'd like to, but there's always a reason. I'm too young. I'm too old. I'm too tall. I'm too short. I don't have enough education. I've got too much education. It's the wrong time. It's the wrong place and so on. What is it that sticks in the back of your mind that causes you to make excuses, that causes you to hang back from taking responsibility, that keeps you in the land of childhood, immaturity, and irresponsibility.
>>34854405you're just being yourself. if you don't like it, you'll have to become somebody else.https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Af-k9sTAYEQ&ra=m
>>34854405Couple things:1. There is a well known and well documented concept in psychology called "euphoric recall" where bad memories fade over time and the good memories for a time period become much stronger in comparison. This is magnified a ton when you're unhappy. Childhood is undoubtedly easier than adulthood but nobody's childhood was without pain and suffering.2. There is no "grand purpose" in life. That doesn't mean people can't do amazing things or meet their goals. But think about it this way: if you wanted to cure cancer, like that was your life's whole mission, and by some miracle and extremely hard work you solved it in your 40s, what would you do with the remaining 20-50 years of your life? Eventually that feeling would fade and you'd have things to worry about and other problems to solve.3. Losing all the progress you've made would absolutely bother you. Your baseline level of happiness has adjusted to your current lifestyle but if you lost your gf, your job, or God forbid your health you'd be pretty miserable. The human brain is hardwired to focus on the negatives and never really be satisfied, otherwise we'd never do anything at all.TL;DR:Smell the roses. There is no real reason to say alive for anything other than a collection of possibly insignificant things and people that make you happy that you would miss if you were gone.
Do push-ups and start entertaining God, because that's the purpose of the universe, to entertain God.Don't forget to enable audio:>>>/wsd/6219492And the link cuz I kinda forgor how to link to other thread and I don't know if I did it good:https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1787431721382674.mp4
>>34854521We are god's clowns
>>34854409>>34854463I've been taking responsibility for the better part of a decade now. My excuse is that I can't bring myself to care, quite literally. At what point does one achieve a state of mental equilibrium? When I get a promotion? Marry? Have kids? Buy a house? I am convinced I'd be as miserable even if I achieved all that. I think people like me are just meant to die young, but I don't want to die. I wish I could be happy or at the very least content with life, but so far, no matter what I've done or achieved I have this empty pit that can't be filled.>>34854463>Losing all the progress you've made would absolutely bother you. Your baseline level of happiness has adjusted to your current lifestyle but if you lost your gf, your job, or God forbid your health you'd be pretty miserable. The human brain is hardwired to focus on the negatives and never really be satisfied, otherwise we'd never do anything at all.Doesn't this just imply I'm always going to be miserable? >>34854433I think taking on a persona would just be a band-aid fix to a permanent problem.
>>34854524Yes, we were made by and to entertain Mr. God, the same way we make games and NPCs that entertain us.
>>34854405anon, the entire society is a fucking meme, bait used to make us barely function while a few smart enough fuckers does clean drugs and party on pristine beaches. there's nothing abnormal about not fitting into a world made of tarmac, concrete and artifical sweetener.go out for an extended period of time. eat psychedelic mushrooms, connect with the soil and the plants, observe the clouds. It doesn't sound meaningful for a brain tricked into considering money important, but we all do have evolved machinery set for appreciating nature. it feels good just because.If it works for you, the next step would be to become a gardener, beekeeper or sth in this theme.
>>34854405
>>34854904Self-immolation bros...not like this...
>>34854536>Doesn't this just imply I'm always going to be miserable?Or that you're always going to be content. Regardless, the period after losing everything would hurt a lot and you probably don't want to go through all that.
>>34854433It sounds unfair at first, but that got me thinking. Are we ever really the same person 24/7? If I take on new experiences, and change from them, perhaps I change who I am too. I had bad approach anxiety, and I seem to be getting over that. I had my first fun party and now don't feel afraid of nightlife. What do you make of it?
>>34854409>the land of childhood, immaturity, and irresponsibility.This is your premise? Everything falls apart because "immaturity, irresponsibility" are never the cause of what OP feels. People are immature and get a ton of shit relationships, make families even, and they are the sources of grief for others, but still, different issue.
This thread has been pretty enlightening. I too am in a similar boat to OP but rather, I'm facing down owning a house and this locking myself in to a mortgage (I just turned 27). I am scared that this is the end of my adventure and growth. I want to get out into the world more, and develop more as an artist. How exactly can I do these things? Any advice is appreciated. How can I maintain that passion and drive?
>>34855533How exactly does owning a house limit your creativity?Do you live in an RV and do the van life thing right now?Otherwise you travel for a few weeks every year like everyone else.Also I highly doubt you've explored everything there is to do and everyone there is to meet in your immediate area, even if you live in a small suburb.
>>34855539Objects you own are shackles that prevent you from moving. You can't up, say "fuck this" and bug out if you're tied down. A lease or a mortgage is a contract you can't easily get out of if you want to do something different. Of course, most people on 4chan haven't left their mother's basement, much less their home town, much less do something like that on a whim. I spent spent summers in my mid 20s as a beach bum, hitchhiking from coast to coast sleeping on beaches. I was without fixed address for a little while in there. The 2nd summer I watched Forest Gump, woke up the next morning and decided I need to hit the road again. I was on the road by noon and had crossed the prairies within a week. No way I could do that now. Even going away for a few days with my wife I need my cell phone and laptop in case something breaks at work and I have to fix it.
>>34855604Why did you get a job, or a wife, or buy a house if this is your worldview? You can't build a life as a free spirit with no possessions. Did you just watch Fight Club for the first time or something or are you actually just 20 years old?
>>34855613Well I'm a different guy entirely. But he is correct about the possessions you own being shackles. Still I think two things can be true at once. I believe you can still have a full time job, and a mortgage and also still go out, albeit with more fetters. So I repeat my initial question, how do I go about doing that?
>>34854405>Despite all this it still feels so fucking empty, like none of it has any overall meaning, like I could lose all progress I've made and it would genuinely not bother me.You haven't made any inward progress, if that's the case. You've only made outward progress. You need to change your attitude, so that you love the progress you should be making. Which is to say you should love integrity, honesty, principle, compassion, patience and humility to the extent that it makes you happy to grow in these areas. If you don't love those qualities yet, you need to contemplate their importance. If you think you already have those qualities, you most certainly lack them since they all rest on humility and never is there a point when you have enough of them.
>>34856218I mean, that's kind of up to you? I fail to see how artistic pursuits and travel are bundled into one and how lack of travel prevents artistic pursuit.Any artistic pursuit I've explored is best done in a quiet and isolated area where I can best focus. If what I'm doing requires material or space it seems ideal to have a home that you can focus in. Traveling would hamper that, no? Both in terms of being consistent with practice and having access to materials and resources you use to produce art. Because this /adv/ I'll try to give some actionable advice and see if anything sticks but truthfully your question is perplexing given the assumption that art is inextricably linked to travelTake a Sunday drive. Pick a direction and drive aimlessly for a few hours only stopping when you see something that catches your eye that you want to checkout or hangout at.Community colleges are a decent resource. You can often meet a guy who knows a guy that way and find people you want to create with. Hobby businesses can have corkboards with flyers. Pickleball, libraries, rockclimbing, rec centers, parks(?).
>>34856327Thank you, that is good advice. I appreciate it, and will commit to doing that, hopefully very soon. I guess the scattered nature of my inquiry is primarily due feeling like I'm at a crossroads in my life. But this is a good suggestion, so thank you anon.
you're pushing 30 and you're posting an anime girl lmao faggot maybe that's why your soul is corrupted
>>34854405You are dysphoric and need to get on HRT immediately nona
>>34856575It's a manga girl. Also you need to go back
>>34854409Horrid irrelevant advice.>>34854405Life is about being around other people, you can't ever really be happy if you are alone. I hate dealing with people and I'm fine with not being happy as a result but thats life.
>>34857394>you can't ever really be happy if you are aloneThat's very wrong, happiness can only be found in solitude. No one is happy until they've learned how to enjoy their own company and be self-reliant.
>>34857421>happiness can be found in solitude.Kekekeke, you clearly dont know what it feels like to be alone.Let me guess, you think watching goyslop on TV or YouTube and playing games is the same thing as being happy. Thats called being satiated or entertained.And dont even start with the, creative pursuits make you happy. I have done many projects and none of them have made me feel anything before, during or after. Being validated for your creative pursuits makes you happy. If no one gives a shit you won't feel anything.You really have no idea about what you are talking about.
>>34854405If you don't want kids then why doing the Normie pipeline. Go drop it and do the old memories Vidya with friends thing. Or do both. Not this unfinished business. Otherwise change job change gf
