how do i become more dateable? like looks, personality, habits, social skills, whatever. not struggling to get attention i just wanna know what actually makes a girl someone you’d wanna date rather than just fuck
>>34859000>looksuh, what do you look like?physical wise, not being fat is a big one. besides that it depends on what you want to tractor beam in. tattoos, piercings, makeup or not will all bring in a different audience. you're mostly asking lonely 4chan neets on what they find appealing.>personalitythe biggest to me is someone that is mature and not carrying baggage. not trash talking people behind their backs, a sense of humor, not looking for one night stands. those are the big ones.>habitsthis is personal flavor things. no one 100% meshes with their partner. you're not going to find many men into dresses, makeup, knitting, twilight unless they are gay. at best you'd want 75%-90% matchit is nice when you are open to some of each others hobbies though. going fishing, or something like that.kind of with the maturity though, i don't like someone whose habits revolve around too many vices.>social skillslike i said a sense of humor is big. banter. respect is the other one. people seem to get better and worse at this as they age (always changing), so its something you can just pick up later. hopefully the partners always act like a checks and balance when someone is either taking everything seriously in life or nothing at all.>extrathe biggest thing i notice with another person is whether they are the center of their own universe or not. people always get upset at this, but the line tends to be drawn on whether someone has physically cared for others or not, whether that is parenting, teaching, or even done something stressful like a soldier in a conflict. it's like the people that thought the earth was the center of the universe and it was sacrilegious for it not to be.everyone is born with the belief they are at the center of the universe. it is central to survival.some people never leave it though.to answer some of this we need more input on what you're looking for.
>>34859000Without knowing anything about you at all, it’s pretty hard for anybody to give good advice here. There’s not a standardly attractive way to be. It’s be more about avoiding standardly unattractive things but since you’re already getting attention you probably aren’t doing them.As a woman, you’ll be able to fuck guys above your own dating league. Bring it down a notch.>try asking a girl in your own leagueis pretty typical advice for a guy, it’s just that they usually already know this because they get absolutely zero attention from “above”, so to speak.
>>34859058holy shit wait were you giving me advice about my shitty situationship the other day ! but for context im 18, blonde, skinny, pretty feminine, light makeup and I have only a few piercings, probably dress somewhere between basic and alternative depending on the day. im pretty shy at first but once im comfortable i talk way too much and like taking the piss out of people. i dont really struggle getting attention from guys, i think im more trying to figure out what separates being attractive/fuckable from actually being someone a guy wants to keep around and date long term. after the last situation im starting to think those are two very different skill sets lol
>>34859083i wouldn't want to date anybody long term who wears edgy clothing and has piercing/tattoos.simple girls who want to live a humble quiet life are the best wife material. girls who are nice, kind, understanding, and want to talk things over before making retarded rushed decisions.
>>34859105Pretty much any non-ear piercing would be a hard no for me from a dating perspective. I’m not bringing a piercing lady to meet my mom and sisters, sorry. I’d never live it down. Multiple piercings in the ears is fine I guess as long as it’s mostly tasteful and not gauged.
>>34859105I only have a face dermal and a nose piercing and I have one tattoo on my hip! one of the main reasons I cam on here to ask for advice to be more dateable is the last guy told me im too nice I dont know if I should get more hobbies or become more then just a nice girl as I feel like thats not enough
>>34859119probably because you look like a cheap whore but then you act too nice for the looks.get rid of them man. no guy is gonna take you to his family or want you to be the mother of his kids while you look like that
>>34859119There is a truly 0% chance you are too nice to be dateable for men. Especially in the year 2026. I would guess you are delusional for a number of reasons and that men pick up on this.
>>34859124 but is that actually how most guys read a nose piercing + dermal or do you personally just hate piercings? im trying to become more dateable not minmax myself into universal wife material
>>34859130I think its the guys I go for aswell lol
>>34859132All piercing haters are underage browns sand shouldbe ignored.
>>34859083>holy shit wait were you giving me advice about my shitty situationship the other daynot sure. but sounds familiar. 8)>i think im more trying to figure out what separates being attractive/fuckable from actually being someone a guy wants to keep around and date long termi think you need to think more in terms of finding out what you want in a guy that is worth dating long term. you're going to pull in trash regardless. you have to be discerning like a police officer.unfortunately it's much harder to tell too without meeting them separately for a walk, coffee, date etcetera... it's also even easier when you live with them because that's when the cracks start to show in a persons behavior. they can hide a lot of dirty laundry beforehand.like i said above, maturity/emotional stability is the big one.how does someone handle conflict?can you have a discussion with them without it turning hostile?when a discussion turns into an argument, is it ugly? do all the rules and respect get tossed out of the window?when i reflect on arguments i've had in the past some (most) of them are incredibly stupid. leaving the toilet seat up or down, whether the toilet paper faces out or who cares, jealousy, bad day, politics etc...it's how we handle the conflict though that makes the difference. when you and the other are tested by problems, how do you/they deal with it? this is what shows whether one has coping skills or is a manchild. people can quickly forget respect, sense of humor, everything in the previous message when moody.hopefully this makes sense.>what i'd want in the otheri'd want someone that knows what they want, communicates it, and also knows their boundaries. going into a relationship to find yourself is a start for failure, because you inevitably do a lot of meshing in a relationship where you can easily lose yourself. with time you'd start to resent the other person without realizing it (since you've lost what you want in the meshing process).
>>34859143okay this actually makes more sense than me trying to minmax my fucking appearance lol. i think knowing what i want/boundaries is probably my bigger issue bc i tend to decide i really like someone first and then adjust what im willing to tolerate around them. what would you actually consider reasonable boundaries/standards when youre first dating someone?
>>34859119there's a difference between nice and kind. it's much better to be kind. nice people tend to let themselves get run over and become a carpet. i want someone in a relationship that will tell me i have a zit on my forehead. a nice person will ignore it not to cause conflict.i don't like tattoos but plenty of people do. i think most here are more anti-tattoo but i'd say most society is pro tattoo.>hobbieswhat are your hobbies? i'd say the big thing is if you have a life outside the relationship. being codependent isn't attractive and ends up causing a lot of issues. i do like an independent woman that knows what she wants though.you're still young so i'd just be trying out different things to figure out what you do enjoy.it's not like napoleon dynamite though where you need to collect skills.>>34859132i had to look up what a dermal piercing was. i think both could be treated like a red flag to people especially since i imagine they can be seen without hiding them.like i said it depends on who you want to attract. there are well adjusted punk/alternative and not.you have to be the judge of whether someone is worth your time.
>>34859153i really can't determine your boundaries for you. i'm also a cock wielder so i don't know entirely how the rules are for women.the big one for me off the top of my head is i hate texting on the phone. i'll do it for a yes/no, but if they want to spend hours i tell them to call me and remind them that i don't like texting.another one for me is i won't tolerate prolonged fights. no one is rational during a fight. they always take an hour that exhausts both parties, and then reason comes into play. i usually cut the other person off and tell them we can talk when we have both calmed down. the problem i have stemmed from fights is i've met a few people that are emotional vampires and get a positive charge off fighting. they tend to feel elated after the fight while i don't even want to look at them, so it's always hit me funny.>other examplesmy ex did not like being seen naked unless it was for sekkso. i guess she had previous relationships where men ignored the ruling.in your case just think of things in your previous relationship you wouldn't tolerate going through again.the major theme is when people excuse themselves from using respect. so to the examples above:>everybody texts, so just tolerate my one hour essay im sending.>the argument needs to happen now or i'm leaving.>we're together now, so i should be able to see your naked body whenever i want.is there anything from your previous relationship that you wouldn't tolerate again? i would think for women to men it might be when men excuse themselves for becoming more physical. or with both parties where they can become emotionally abusive.
>>34859132Depends entirely on the type of man you're interested in. I can say that most men your age in America aren't going to be that turned off by it or will be willing to put up with at least, but you're going to turn away more trad men unless you make a very strong impression that you'd make a good wife.
