What exactly could make a person with aspd more successful. How to improve friendship creation and maintenance for example and meaningful connection what creates that I've never felt any such thing ever and I'm 23. My social circle is beginning to crack
>>34875271You will need to understand the transactions more accurately. If you can't feel connection emotionally that's OK so long as you understand how to perform the correct gestures and sentiments with your face and words. And as long as you make sure to do things for others in return when they pay favours to you. You don't necessarily need to feel emotions or empathy to do any of this. If you want to try to feel the emotional connection shit, therapy won't help and neither will medications. Currently the only known possibility to give ASPDs a chance at feeling human is high doses of psychedelics, though it's not a guarantee. Some ASPDs develop affective empathy after ego death via psychedelics and some don't
>>34875271Also I would focus less on the ASPD, more on side related comorbidities if you have them (adhd, substance abuse, mood issues, ODD are common with ASPD). Those are doable to treat and will help with refining any impulsivity set backs. The ASPD can stay, just reframe it as a strength. Those strengths are low anxiety, lack of fear, strategic thinking and a goal seeking personality that prioritizes outcomes over processes. These are good qualities it's just a matter of reinventing the wheel aka find new ways to use ASPD to your social advantage.
>>34875290I don't have comorbidities and actually skew more towards aspd+p
>>34875293How have you navigated social interactions so far? Have you maintained a system of exchange and reputation?
>>34875271stop masking and speak your mind, even if its cringe at first. listening to shit like this >>34875281and masking your entire life is a surefire path to misery
>>34875319it's not masking it's calibrating. I doubt OP would experience misery from masking, that's an autist's dilemma. ASPD is different they don't have neuroticism issues concerning misery
>>34875324oops I forgot what aspd stands for.but I'd say my point stands, for connection you have to open up
>>34875312I do but people just certainly seems to dislike me from the bottom of their hearts
>>34875327Do they know of your diagnosis when they demonstrate dislike for you or do you choose not to reveal it?
>>34875333They doo they know very well
>>34875271There's a famous fable about an African chief who, in a dream, was given a tour of Hell and Heaven. In Hell there was a huge table, and on the table all the most delicious foods you can possibly imagine. But all the people around the table were skeletally thin. The chief's guide explained that when everyone arrives they are given a pair of giant chopsticks, 5 feet long, and these are the only way you can touch the food - if you use your hands or anything else, it vanishes. But with chopsticks five feet long, the people virtually always miss their mouths, so they're always starving in the midst of plenty. In Heaven there was an identical table with an identical banquet laid out on it, but here everyone looked plump and wonderfully happy. The chief said "I suppose people here don't have to use the chopsticks?" His guide said "Oh yes, they do: it works exactly the same way that it does in Hell. But the people here understand that if they feed other people, other people will feed them."This is a rather clunky metaphor, obviously, but the point is a sound one. As someone with ASPD you will probably never be able to feel a meaningful connection with anyone, or care about them. But from a purely *pragmatic* perspective, it is important to form and maintain connections with other people. Your life will be a great deal easier if other people are willing to help you, and the only way they will ever do that in the long term is if you are willing to help them, and interact with them as if you cared about their welfare.
>>34875354I feel inferior and like I owe when others help me like truly help me. I don't want to owe anything to anyone. Life is a zero sum game to me
>>34875348>They doo they know very wellThat might be part of the reason then. ASPD and especially ASPD w/ psychopathic traits is heavily stigmatized. Most people are still drunk on Hollywood and they always assume it's the serial killer disorder when in reality it's the 'holy-shit-i-am-so-bored-all-the-time' disorder. You are allowed to conceal your disorder without owing anyone an explanation
>>34875360either stop thinking like that or stop asking for help then, retard.what the fuck do you want us to do about it?
>>34875354Not OP but ASPDs/Psychopath types can form meaningful connections but it's usually limited to just one or two people in a lifetime. And the connection and its meaning is different from the 'meaning' most people assume. The quality and internal experience is different to that of a normal person's. And there is no way to define it because it varies from one ASPD to the next, really depends on the internal landscape of that ASPD.
>>34875364It's actually a profound envy of other people and a feeling of being persecuted/unrighted by god but at the same time a perpetual angelic joy at the thought I'm never going to fall in love and care about anyone that way. I feel...free I feel like I am part of something far more superior than family or community I feel like I am a prophet like I am someone who is relevant simply because not because I offer something to god or to anyone else.
>>34875372I think I get it. You don't have skin in the game and you're afforded a stratospheric perspective and can see the patterns and the pageantry and remain unhindered by it, while everyone else is caught up in it and you're not. People are stuck in the swamp and you're the jaguar chilling from the tree branch looking down sort of thing?
>>34875367When I went to the Jewish cemetery to lay flowers I deliberately anticipated that I might have 1 or 2 such people in my life and stopped it. It was an option given to me by god basically all the people I have loved are dead in a way even if they're alive the living versions that I knew changed so dramatically that they're complete strangers again by now maybe because all they were supposed to do for me and vice versa was done even if we're family. My father also has aspd possibly +p too. I do love my mom but in a very very limited and blunted way maybe less than Shmuel vaknin (profound narcissism) loves his wife. I don't desire close company,friends,acquaintances. I do not want to do anything for them I feel contempt
>>34875372sounds like typical cluster B narc stuff, or just a plain superiority complex
>>34875374I just wish I could leave for somewhere else a different type of civilization that talks and communicates more through telepathy than humans. I have been abused telepathically by a girl I know whom I do not love yet she mocks me saying stuff like "Hah,the things you want to accomplish and feel are wild dreams for a psychopath". Same when I masturbated to an icon of virgin Mary humans send me telepathic warnings with image and word so I know who sends it to me. And dreams too. I dreamt years in advance that my grandma would die 8 years later now I have dreams about grandpa and dad. They'll die. I envy them in a way they'll get a new life somewhere or in heaven or whatever it's better than this realm. Personally I wanted to go to Orion or to the 7 distsers cluster. I view people not as prey but as trash bin objects that enjoy being tossed in the trash,empty cups and such. It's ironic but maybe I'd enjoy working in waste removal
>>34875379>I view people not as prey but as trash bin objects that enjoy being tossed in the trash,empty cups and such. It's ironic but maybe I'd enjoy working in waste removalYeah that's a common ASPD perspective. Like when you go to a clothes store and you see the mannequins they use to display clothing and the cashier says good morning and you see no difference between than mannequin and the cashier besides that the mannequin is made of wood and the cashier is made of skin, right?
>>34875379>>34875381Forgot to add. Waste removal could be good. A lot of ASPDs excel at surgery and first responder paramedics. If you can view other humans as objects it gives you an edge at repairing them since you won't have emotions getting in the way of judgement calls. The reputation and the salary provides the motivation in place of empathy
>>34875376Would you say it's the lack of consistency that pisses you off about other humans? That you could hammer out a transactional understanding but years later they forget their pact with you?
>>34875381That's not what I think about i often feel a random bouts of anxiety like something is going to go massively bad at some point because of gods rage. I am strongly considering and have the capacity to once and for all leave this country. I *want* this nation to curse me when I leave a part of me would like even for me to get beaten and crucified by them like Jesus so god could send 12 legions of angels. I keep seeing numbers to confirm it 106 is very close to psalm 108 for cursing. I pray but feel like god will never listen to my prayers despite the fact that I pray daily. I also want to go on a mission to fight I want to fight for Israel against a potential Egypt invasion but the Jews would hate me too I'm a difficult person I'd also like to come there to rebuild Israel . But alas I'm content with moving to spain
>>34875389I see. Why do you think God is angry at you? Or that your ASPD is a curse or deviation from God's will? Have you considered the radical idea that God entrusts you with it, and that it was by design, for a purpose?
>>34875393Because I want to blaspheme the holy spirit. He knows it. I know it. I want to reject his grace and love for my own selfish needs and not display the theological virtues of love,humility and hope and utmost disobedience for the things he demands of me. I don't know exactly what it is but I do know much more will be demanded of me than what has been entrusted
>>34875400What would be demanded of you is loyalty. And your way of showing that will be unorthodox but nonetheless of great value to God. Precisely because you want to blaspheme, you want to reject, and yet despite wanting that you conciously choose allegiance to God. That sort of loyalty is arguably of more value than an average person's because have the option to rebel, you know you have it in you as does God yet of your own volition on your own terms you choose not to. Can we not say that this is the quintessence of loyalty? Why display virtues when you can embody? Remember the prodigal son? And the so called virtuous brother of his? Who did the father favor? The rebel child? or the obedient child? He favored the rebel and for good reason. Because the Father understands that the performance of virtue does not mean anything compared to the willful conscious and calculated embodiment of it. The prodigal son embodied them because he broke them, and from breaking them understood them far better than someone whose loyalty was only a habit and nothing more.
>>34875412I am the obedient son and the wineyard workers who worked all day and got the same pay as those who showed up in the 11th hour. Ironically I want no reward other than for my hip to stay in good shape,for my health to remain okay 5-10 more years. I'm okay with dying at 28-32 and for my mother to stay in good health and to fix her dentures. That's it. I explicitly refuse to want any wife/girlfriend because I already have an idea what kind of wife they'll give me. I also want to fight I want to beat up a 60 yr old man or a bunch of teens or whatever. I know war is coming don't be naive
>>34875427That's perhaps the purpose you might want to consider, war is coming. I speak of the spiritual war and the day of reckoning, the hour of which no one knows. What I do know is that on that day, those of us who bleed from emotions cannot be if any help. Those of us who fear when we look the devil in the face will be useless. God appoints all types of humans for all types of purposes. For the purpose of warfare against hell, God does not employ angelic humans. He would rather employ the hounds of hell themself, people who don't flinch and have the hunger to fight will be of immense value on that day. You can see this design of God's even in ants, or bees, or any rank and order. There are workers and there are warriors. If your lot is that of a warrior then that is what you have been trusted with.
well this quickly evolved into a schizo thread
>>34875539Take it literally it metaphorically, point is people don't need to feel moral in order to do moral. Empathy is not a virtue and has never been regarded as a virtue in either Judeo-Christianity or Greek paganism. Going back to OP's post:>How to improve friendship creation and maintenance for example and meaningful connection what creates that I've never felt any such thing everPeople don't need to feel meaningful connection in order to create them.More practical advice for OP to help get the thread back on track:Treat reciprocity like a transaction. When someone does good for you, you don't have to feel anything. Just make it a rule to repay, don't expect to feel anything doing it. You just do it because that's your rule, your system your choice. Forget about 'the right thing', it can just be a matter of you did it because you know it maximizes your own goals
