>Girlfriend died 2 years ago>Only people i'm attracted to are people that remind me of her>My very flesh longs to feel her warmth just one more time>Life isn't worth living in a world without her>Can't commit because she'd be disappointedIs this just it? It looks like I'm doomed to live a life i hate until i die and meet her again.
>>34876248I'm sorry for your loss. How did it happen and how old were you both?
>>34876248your gf would have wanted you to move on and be happy.how many years, you two?
>>34876248wouldn't she also want you to move on and stop sufferingit sounds like you're doing a standup job disappointing her already
>>34876251>How did it happenShe had a collapsed lung and went to the hospital to try to get it reinflated and the like. Doctors said there were some complications during surgery and it ended up getting really infected.>how old were you both?17 at the time.
>>34876261im such a huge disappointment to my mom. first I broke her heart and then I never did anything with myself.
>>34876257>how many years, you two?4.>your gf would have wanted you to move on and be happy.i've tried about everything i could think of and thought i did for a while but i've realized recently that i never really did. Don't know what else to do to try to move on from it.>>34876261fair enough, no arguments here
>>34876267you were dating your mom?
>>34876266That's horrible and random. My mother lost her boyfriend to an asthma attack when they were 20. She moved on in life but still talks about him.
>>348762744 years is a long time, but I think you gave yourself enough time to grief. time to move on anon. do it for her memory.live your life. with or without someone else.they wont replace her and dont have to but you can form just as nice a bond with them.>>34876276no but she died and this reminded me of that.
>>34876248yes it does. most people move on eventually. some take longer some have a practical view on life and realize that drowning yourself in sorrow doesnt serve anyone at all.
>>34876277Thanks for the sympathy. I'm glad your mom managed to move on and find happiness in life.>>34876282fair, I always thought of getting a new girlfriend as replacing her, but the way you put it makes sense and seems like a healthier way of viewing things. Thank you.
>>34876248How did she die? Also get a new gf.
>>34876306explained in brief here:>>34876266
>>34876313How the fuck do you get a collapsed lung
>>34876315not entirely sure myself, she had it for as long as i knew her.
>>34876325Maybe you're born with it
>>34876266Damn. Well, at least you had a loving gf at 17 :^) You'll find love again fren
>>34876282>4 years a long timeThey started dating at 13 bro. He was with her his entire teen life.Myself I got my first gf at 18, lasted about a year and I was fucking torn up over it like a little bitch.FF 10 years, several grills and gfs later I wouldn't react in a similar fashion, but setting into the adult world like that would be kinda devastating. The moment you find another woman you like you'll be cured of this oneitis
>>34876315>How the fuck do you get a collapsed lungThe most common cause is when you get air in the space between the lung and the chest wall - the technical term is "Pneumothorax". Various things can cause that, but it's sometimes the result of damage to the lung itself, causing air to escape out of the lung and into the chest. There's also a thing called Atelectasis where the individual bronchioles collapse; I don't know very much about that.
>>34876248>Can't commit because she'd be disappointedOn the contrary. She'd be bitterly disappointed that you don't.
>>34876248It does get easier, but only if you actively do something about it. Right now, you're like an alcoholic asking "Does alcoholism ever get better?" - it can, but only if he stops drinking. You are experiencing something not unlike an addiction, where the thing you are addicted to is thinking about her and feeling sad about it. It's an understandable reaction, but also an unhealthy one, and one that you ultimately need to break. Get yourself a decent therapist, do some bereavement counselling - it can be extremely effective; but you are going to have to work at this, and work hard. It won't get better by itself.
>>34877894Thanks, I don't mean to sound like i don't understand how lucky i was to have that.>>34877903to be fair a lot of those earlier years were just us as stupid kids playing pretend, we didn't really realize the long-term implications of what we meant to each other until we were around 15 or so. Still though, you're right about how devastating it is to become an adult in the aftermath of this all, i've become a bit of a fat slob because i used to always fall back on her when i needed support and i've realized that it's not really acceptable to go to people you don't know that well to talk about things you struggle with.>>34877927In life she helped me a lot with my struggle with suicidal ideation and she was really the only thing that stopped me from commiting multiple times as a kid, i see no reason for her to suddenly do a 180 on everything she said and showed me about life.>>34877953you make a good point, and thank you. I hesitate to look for a therapist because last time i was with one they had me coped up on like 5 different pills and i genuinely hate that feeling. If i do get a therapist i'll probably see if i could just focus on the one thing or just limit how many drugs they can put me on.
>>34876248Don't drug yourself. Remember that the drugs the quacks put you on is neurological poison. It dulls the pain but the longer you stay on shit like SSRIs the more blunted your emotions become, which can become permanently blunted after 6 months. Never use meds longer than 6 months at a time.
>>34878012>In life she helped me a lot with my struggle with suicidal ideation and she was really the only thing that stopped me from commiting multiple times as a kid, i see no reason for her to suddenly do a 180 on everything she said and showed me about life.Oh "committing" means suicide, does it? I thought you meant committing to a relationship. I imagine many other posters thought you meant that too! Yes, obviously she would be disappointed if you killed yourself. But right now, you aren't exactly living, either, are you? You're just continuing to exist and waiting to die by natural causes. That would disappoint her. She would want you to LIVE, not just carry on breathing.
>>34878198ah sorry i should have been more clear about that. You make a good point about truly living, speaking of relationships at least part of the issue is that the only reason i've felt attracted to anyone is because of the ways they were similar to her. So it's not that i'm really attracted to that person so much as i think i'm just trying to find some carbon copy of her, which is unhealthy for both parties in a relationship so i doubt i'd be getting into one of them anytime soon.>>34878188Yea, i also just already struggle with emotions and such anyways, no reason to dull it further. Plus the pills just skirt around the actual problem, they don't actually making things better or change anything about the position i'm in, they just want me dependent on their bs so i pay them more money.
>>34878264>they don't actually making things bettermake, not making, my apologies.
