There's this girl in my class that I find really attractive, after some light e-stalking I found out she's also really smart and a devout Christian like me. She also stares at me sometimes during class and even outside of it when we bump into each other on the corridors of the university (but maybe she's autistic and she just stares at everyone, she kinda gives off those vibes honestly).I don't know if she has a boyfriend or if she's even interested in me. In the past I was attracted to another girl just like her but my autism and introversion kept me from approaching her, in the end she started dating a guy way uglier than me, so I was left with this feeling of "maybe if I tried I could've actually dated her". I don’t wanna make the same mistake, but I also have no idea how to approach a girl or how to even tell if she actually likes me or not, I never tried it in my life, the times I went out with girls I talked to them on dating apps which is way easier than approaching one in real life. This is probably gonna fail, but maybe there's a reply here that could give me some epiphany.
>>34895915idk i have never approached a girl
>>34895928It's hard.
>>34895915Tell her you think she's pretty and you want to go to church with her one day. Don't think about it too much or preplan an argument, just honestly express your feelings and invite her to something you'd probably both be interested in. These sorts of conversations happen from your heart, rather than your head. Godspeed brother.
>>34896870Do you think she might like me based on what I said about how she stares at me sometimes or could it be just an autistic trait of hers?
>>34895915Really, OP, if you're in a class together, you have hundreds of excuses to start a conversation. "Excuse me, I missed yesterday's lecture; I don't suppose I could borrow your notes, could I?" "Man, I can't get my head around X at all. Did you understand the bit about Y?" "Oh, guess who's asking a question again!" "Do you agree about X? That sounded a bit weird to me." Or even just "Hi! I'm anon - I sit two rows behind you." Once you get a conversation going and it's flowing nicely, then you can ask "Hey, do you fancy going for a drink/coffee some time?" and see how she reacts.
>>34897384It's so hard though, I'm really scared of rejection, what if she doesn't like me? I wanted to make sure she really likes me before trying anything.
>>34897790That's why you start talking to her about other stuff first
>>34895915Nobody will tell you. That book "Models" tells you to be an asshole, make fun of her tits and see other people as inferior. And when she thinks you're an asbolute asshole, repeat with another woman until you fuck some meathole.
>>34897790There is exactly one way to find out if a woman is interested in you or not, and that is to ask her out. No other method is reliable. So if you wait to be sure a woman likes you before asking her out, you will never ask anyone out.If she does reject you, so what? Right now, she isn't your girlfriend; if she rejects you, she still won't be. Absolutely nothing will have changed at all. It's idiotic to be scared of something that has no effect on your life at all. Also, realistically, if you don't ask her out the chances of her ever dating you are essentially zero. If you do, there is a non-zero chance she might say yes. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. And finally, the number one thing that women are attracted to is confidence (or at least the appearance of confidence). If you don't have the courage to ask a woman out confidently, there is no chance any woman will ever say yes. So stop being a pussy and ask her.
>>34897914Plain and simple I don't get american culture. "Ask her out".>"Hey, you look pretty, wanna grab some coffee?">"Oh yeah, I'm in the mood to fuck a stranger, set up an appointment with me, this is my number".And that's all? You mean american girls don't have filters before that, no "charm" on your part to ease the stranger suspiciousness?Of course there is, it's just that nobody wants to put it into words, everyone drops the subject right there, and therapists won't help because somehow making people be socially competent is beyond their code of ethics.
>>34897936The date is the filter. A date isn't a guarantee that you'll get married or anything, it's just a test to see if she actually does like you.
>>34895915You've got to attack, show her you are dominant. Then ask her out.
>>34897792>>34897881>>34897914>>34898034How do I know if her stares are actually a sign or just an autistic trait of hers? Is there a difference between a stare that shows you're interested in someone and a stare that has no deeper meaning?
>>34898194Isn't that the easy part? You start touching her, progressively closer to her erogenous zones. If she allows it she's willing.
>>34898274We're not talking about bar sluts here, you utter mongoloid
>>34898327I'm as autistic as the next anon but even I know the only way to gaige that is to check how much she lets you cuddle her.
>>34898194You don't know. Asking her is how you find out. That's literally all there is to it. There is no secret.
>>34895915I'm in a similar boat as you including the religion bit except we're both almost 30 and she might move once she's done with her masters. I also might be more esoteric than her and I'm scared I'll turn away the only woman in a long time who enjoys spending time with me while talking about it.Also I respect the Malink ship.
ChatGPT actually gave me a pretty good idea: next time she stares at me I'll slightly smile at her and gauge her reaction. What do you guys think? Could this work? Starting a conversation is just too much of a leap for me right now. I'll probably see her this Tuesday, hopefully the thread is not dead by then.
>>34897790>>34897792I’ll try to explain. OP you’re thinking the approach is all about asking her out. Which makes you nervous because you’re not sure if she likes you. But really, you approach and talk about other things. Like stuff anyone would talk about with another person in their class. And feel it out. If she doesn’t like you, she’ll try to end the conversation quickly or start to walk away. If she’s into you, conversation will seem easy because she will reciprocate and then that’s your cue that she likes you and you have to decide if asking her out feels natural. Becoming a Study partner is a good suggestion, doesn’t matter skill level just someone to ask questions and hide the answer key or whatever. If it goes well then ask her out.
Bump
>>34899621Lel, how do you even talk about other things, eg. like in the gym?I'm not the funny type, I'm the worrywart type so it's not like I ever think of anything but the matter at hand, so nothing feels chill to me, and people tell.
>>34895915Just come up with some retarded reason to talk to her. After class- "yo did you understand what prof was saying when..." (even if you understood) or if you see her around campus "Hey your in my math class whatsup" and boom. Just pretend she is like a guy friend. When I was in college, one of my neighbors was hot so i went up to her door and said "hey do you have a pressure washer" (obviously she wouldnt have a fucking pressure washer) and eventually i was like "hey btw i live down the street do you want my number incase of some sort of emergency" or some shit. Super easy.
>>34895915Ain't nothing to it but to do it.
>>34895915you walk up to her. you tell her shes cute and you want to get to know. you ask her if shes single and if you could get her digits.there is no advice. you already know what to do. you are just a pussy.
>>34899567i dont know how much she will react to just a slight smile. i dont know what country you're from but in america a little smile at someone you make eye contact with is just a polite gesture that means nothing. if a guy smiled at me from across the room i wouldnt know what to make of it, i could just as easily interpret it as a simple acknowledgement of my presence. i would keep in mind that many people are awkward and her reaction may not match how she actually feels. you should just find a way to speak to her casually. i can only speak for myself, and i may be a minority, but getting to know a man without the pretense of romance (even if i can feel his interest) is a lot more comfortable
Welp, it ended up being all in my head, she came to class today, didn't even look at me and sat far away from me. Another failure.
approaching a girl isn't worth it. You've been warned. Good luck.
>>34903299Pester her daily. If you stay by her side and constantly try to touch her and try to escalate, she will give in. Get mad with her too. Treat her like she's your wife already. She will be yours by gaslighting her with guilt.
>>34903299this doesnt mean anything. she was focused on class. you need to show some concrete interest for her to notice and reciprocate
>>34903887Nah, I'm just tired, everything I ever do in this life ends up failing, I thought this could be different but I already realized I clearly misunderstood everything again. Some people just weren't born to be loved and that's ok, I'm one of those people, I just gotta accept that reality now.
>>34898194you attempt a conversation. Like >>34897384 said. You should be able to get at least a slight gauge based on how the convo goes WHY the stares are happening (maybe you have a lazy eye or fucked up face). The problem is, of course, how to have a long enough conversation completely out of the blue. I say discussing a class topic is easiest way. Be on the lookout for something in class to talk about lol. But also, if it's not too long since you found out she's devout Christian (even if it is, say it really stuck with you for some reason and now you have to ask her _____), you could probably ask her about that, invite to some church or christian event, ask if she does a bible study, some shit like that.
I don't know how my ancestors managed to reproduce. That should be second nature if Darwin was right.
>>34898194Well signs are just a consequence of language containing a surplus. And now instead of asking her you will enjoy the surplus of "maybe staring at me means she is into me" but what ur really doing is enjoying the fantasy that she might say yes and when you actually approach the fantasy is in danger of collapsing. So, often this is the start of ritual and neurosis an attempt to gain a guarantee the thing is that since language always contains a surplus of possibilities you can never have a gurantee. Language does not fully capture a subject there is always a remainder a surplus. So what you need to do is stop falling for the traps of language and at the end of the day you just need to either take a risk and learn from it. Or continue to enjoy the shrodingers cat like fantasy.
>>34904010You haven't even talked to her and you're acting here like you were rejected in front of the whole school.
>>34904214>>34904249Yeah, you're probably right, but this isn't my first rodeo, this same scenario has happened so many times that I think it's become fairly obvious now that I'm not fit for relationships. It's just time to stop deluding myself and work on accepting this harsh reality.
>>34904499By this exact scenario you mean you chickening out and not talking to the girl? You know how to easily fix that? TALK TO THE GIRL.
>>34897790>I wanted to make sure she really likes me before trying anything.you will never know. ever. you could relive your life without talking to her 1 million times like the groundhog day movie, analyzing her actions from across the classroom for 1 million years trying to make sense of every single thing she does, and you will never find out. make sure you're smiling when you talk to her. wont hurt to practice your smile in the mirror too>>34903772mossad.
She stared at me again today at the end of class, a really long stare and all that after ignoring me the entire time before, wtf? I don't get this girl.
>>34909331Maybe actually talk to her you fucking sperg
>>34909364I'm supposed to just approach her randomly and say "hi, nice to meet you"? That probably would be creepy as fuck.
>>34909380No, you're supposed to approach her using some of the advice you were given here. Like talking to her about the class you're taking.
>>34895915ban this faggot for being underage
