I am a 38 man. I am still going through a breakup that has hit me hard, but not in the way I expected. I am a textbook case of anxious attachment due to old childhood wounds of feeling love, friendship, and care were conditional. I suffer the deep rooted belief that I am no one's first choice if I am chosen at all.Usually when I have a break up it goes one of two ways: either I get so caught up in my emotions that I turn to suicide ideation (in one case, a full on attempt) and hurt the partner I am losing so much that the bridge is permanently nuked, or I get so overwhelmed with the fear of abandonment that I drop them first with full, aggressive No Contact.This break up is very different. We had a hard conversation and found in our current capacities we could not show up how we need to for each other to feel love without hurting ourselves or each other. We are still friends.Also unlike other times, I am getting professional help and it is sticking. I have been fighting a LOT of myself to keep getting the help I truly need. Self sabotage doesn't begin to describe it. I have told my therapist as I figure more of myself out, that I have become my own abuser.Now I am sitting in a place where while I would love to try again with my most recent ex, I worry that waiting too long for her capacity to shift as mine has might lead me to putting my life on hold if I wait too long for her even though we still love and care for each other.I am watching both her patterns and my patterns. I am planning to make a decision at the end of the month, preferably talking with her on a call rather than the texting we are doing.All of this feels unnatural to me and I have been using ClaudeAI to really dive into myself and sort my mess out. So I ask /adv: is this what healing and a healthy breakup is actually supposed to look like? Pic unrelated, just a personal travel photo.
Figure out who God is
>>34898996I have my understanding of God, so I am fine there, thank you.
>>34899076You will never be fine there. 99.9% will never be fine there.
>>34898982There are exceptions, but a break-up generally isn't healthy if you're secretly hoping to get back together.
shes gonestop navel gazing and move your body lift weightsstop calling your girlfriends partner or using any other rainbow coded language
>>34899106Yeah maybe not, but it's messy in a way I am not used to.>>34899146>implying I am focused on her and not working on myself physically and mentallyDid you know people can do more than one thing? Crazy. I am working quite a bit on myself and not holding everything on whether or not we are getting back together. I want her back as a girlfriend, yes, but there will be a point where I will ask honestly if things shifted enough for both of us and whether I want to wait for that shift before moving on. Also we talk on the reg, including now so she ain't gone.
>>34898982sounds like you're just a little bitch who's confused about what he actually wants. I am convinced you have never learned how to deal with woman as a man, and that's what's gotten you so pathetic. Women just follow a good man and do as he asks. Anything else and the relationship would never work. You're a weak simp. You'll take disrespect if she gives it to you, because it sounds like you'll cry over it. Weak bitch. 38 years old. Still hasn't learned about women's nature or how they move in a relationship with a man. You deserve it bro.
Expired
Self-diagnosed nonsense to explain why you're a loser with no spine. How much water did you waste having a Yes-Man AI validate your feelings?
>>34899302He has more hope than you, untermensch.>>34898982>or I get so overwhelmed with the fear of abandonment that I drop them first with full, aggressive No ContactDo you really NEED to do that? You need a caretaker gf. Some hag who is a kindergartner teacher.
>>34899096God isn't real.
>>34899076You wouldn't have so many issues if that was true
