never had any romantic contact with a boy. because i want the right one and i dont want to settle for someone who doesnt reach them and i wont be even half as attracted to. now my standards arent "rich chad" as you might expect but they are linear:>some kind of people hating autist loser >nerd with similar interests and taboo kinks>not super chuddy but not too soft >same age and amount of mentality stunted and childishness as me>flexible appearance but preferably has dark short hair and light eyes and is not that muscular >khhv (vastly preferred but i can settle)essentially i just want my male counterpart. but does that person even exist? i feel like a lot of my behaviour and interests are typically more feminine which complicates things. i dont think im asking for someone out of my league just someone very specific. perhaps my mind has been warped by years of being attracted to fictional characters and their traits. i tried hinge and /soc/ a few times but no dice, no men appealed to me or seemed to be on the same wavelength (for hinge i dont live in a city though). if i cant find this man im just going to give up because i wont be happy settling.
>>34900748>but does that person even exist?No, you are looking for a unicorn. They realistically do not exist and you'll likely need to bend or break quite a few of the things on your list.>nerd with similar interests and taboo kinksYou will decimate the vast majority of the male population with this request. The amount of men that have both those things are likely small. >mentality stunted and childishness as meYou don't want a relationship with someone like that. There can't be two children in a relationship. The only outcome is both of you getting hurt and jaded.I could go over the others but I think the point stands. Your standards aren't too high. They are the wrong standards to begin with. >no men appealed to me or seemed to be on the same wavelengthIf you want better advice I'd tell you to elaborate on this. This is likely where the most change can occur to finding a man.>i cant find this man im just going to give up because i wont be happy settling.Oh nevermind, have fun being the 40 year old wine drinking cat aunt. I'll see you at Thanksgiving this year.
>>34900748to be honest, same.I've just settled for being alone.
>>34900748I used to want an edgy, tortured soul art girl who shared my nerdy interests, didn't mind my literal cowboy upbringing, would smoke up with me and could keep up with me in work and play; very much looking for a female counterpart of myself.Then I fell in love with a preppy uni girl from an immigrant family; we had nothing in common but the chemistry was unreal. We could talk about nothing for hours and have the time of our lives, introduced one another into our respective hobbies regardless of if that stuck for our partner or not, and really complimented eachother in social situations/decision making because of our differences. Marrying her was one of the easiest things I've ever done.Tldr, don't be afraid to look outside of your typical box. You might be surprised at who really ends up ticking all your boxes.
>>34900748the problem with what youre looking for is most these people dont go outside or try to meet other peopletheyre a dime a dozen on discord servers and here. i think youd be digging at the bottom of the barrel not for finding a chud but people incapable of managing relationships. what have you currently done so far?problem with your strategy of pickiness is you dont really know someone until youve lived with them to see their real behaviors come out.
>>34901151
>>34900748tldr. If you think your standards are high, you're feeling insecure in some other area, thinking you should date as little as possible to not hurt people/catch diseases/collect bad experiences/be accepted by someone strict etc.I don't know how to eliminate insecurities however. Good luck.
>>34900748Fairly close, I guess, but no "taboo kinks", and from what I've seen on here, women tend to be into way more fucked up shit than the men. The worst we get from men outside of /b/ are footfags.
>>34901089fpbpI don't think OP is objectively wrong for having such niche and exact standards (it's her right), but she's highly unlikely to find someone meeting them all. The cesspool of /soc/ might for once be a 'decent' place to look for what she's after. But if she thinks she's going to find an emotionally stunted manchild with weird fetishes and ALSO end up in a stable relationship...she's just delusional.
>>34900748Ok, what's your age, how insane are you and in what way are you insane
>>34901324if /soc/ is the standard, duolicious would be another option for neet shopping
>>34901089>There can't be two children in a relationship.i shouldve specified i dont mean childish but someone who doesnt have experience and comes from a secluded upbringing with no past relationships or shit like drug use. >If you want better advice I'd tell you to elaborate on this. This is likely where the most change can occur to finding a man.its very hard for me to explain. i can find men with the same base characteristics like also being an introvert but i dont feel like we are on the same page, have the same humor, etc. like ill talk to them and think theyre nice but take themself too seriously or theyre not as self aware so i feel like im talking down to them. im quite irony poisoned and am very self aware to the point of annoyance. its hard to explain i just either feel like im talking down to them, theyre talking down to me or theres just no chemistry.>>34901151i guess and thats sweet but i have grown up very into waifu/husbando culture and most of my crushes have been fictional characters. i honestly think it has warped my preferences, taste and even the things i get aroused by into the kind of rigid defined and outlandish personalities you only find in fiction. i have a specific type honed by years of fantasizing over this stuff and i dont know how to find anything else attractive, i feel like i gradually shoved myself in a box without realizing it.>>34901186i havent done much so far, just tried hinge and /soc/. not sure what else there is to do. i dont use discord because the types of people there annoy me, like im a terminally online autist but i find most other terminally online autists unfunny and a lot of it just makes me cringe, like how people have channels to vent to their little cliques or seriously edating its so fucking gay.
>>34901307i don't think i'm insecure i'm pretty happy with myself.>>34901318mostly i just like incest and want a bf to pretend to be my brother. >>34901324>>34901417oh i tried duo to but few people were in my portion of my country and the people that messaged were in the camp of not clicking because it didn't feel like we were on the same page. >>34901365im 23 and just autistic. i don't think i'm that crazy. i don't have bipolar or anxiety or bpd or anything i'm just terrible at socializing, i dislike most people because of how they've treated me and being unable to get along and i guess i come off quite strong and am hard to get along with because if i don't agree with something or feel there's an injustice i'm not going to go along with it, i will happily argue and i'm fine with standing out. i like it even. i'm actually pretty normal outside of that and it's a big reason why i've never felt i fit in with anyone, too weird and spergy for normies but not enough for the other social outcasts. i've never even been medicated for anything except deficiencies. oh and yeah i have weird fetishes but most of them except incest are deviantart tier autistic that can't be replicated irl anyway.
>>34901735I dont think any of your standards are too high, just that youre striking out a bit in your journey and need to open up a bit to find people. I think theres plenty of people on 4chin at least that would be receptive to what you are saying. Im surprised the van of people offering their contacts here haven't arrived yet. You said you can come off strong but id think your average man that had an incest kink or of that nature that theyd be a bit shy and reserved about sharing it. In other words I think youre either scaring off your potential interests since you seem to be looking in the right places.Out of curiosity, what did you put in your hinge and duolicious dating profiles?>>34901707Have you tried tinder or the others? Would you be willing to be totally upfront with your desires on a dating profile so it is more limiting in who it draws in? This would prob flop for a man but since women are going to pull in 100x more it may help limit what you want in a larger pool of fish.
>>34901913Just to add to from relationship experience.Youre probably not going to be with your first pick forever.Relationships are like trying on coats and you cant effectively shop online to see how it fits. People can hide a ton online or even going on dates. Its like layers of an onion: online texting->online talking->meeting irl->living together. This trial and error is how to determine what you really want out of a relationship. It will help you like a detective sniff out if someone is worth it or what you want much easier.With how you are treating it you are still at the starting board of the board game waiting to roll the die. Its like you are skipping your turn while the people around you play. Since it seems like youve been doing this a while without any real experience it seems like your 'standards' have drifted into a level of idealism where the realistic expectations arent matching the actual process of trialing people. Its almost like the amount of tradwife believers here when the men are undesirable 30 year old celibates. Their standards dont match the lack of effort they've put in.I think where I see the flaw here is youre wanting fast results with something that takes time.If I want to get to know someone especially online, its okay to push for voice or an irl date. This is something id do because text gives so little and people can use it to ghost you or play push pull games much easier.In your case though id go with what I suggesteda) be very honest with your wants in a profile with more people (since youre making it sound like you live in kazakhstan)b) put a bit more effort into trying some of these potential people before writing them off. especially if its online dating sites, push to meet irl asap to see if the energy is right or notHope this helps understand things better
>>34900748Even after reading your post multiple times i don't really understand all of it. May you explain your case a little more?I think you look down to your own standards and have a pessimistic approach to them, some ideas appear to contradict each other and some are just vague like "no beforehand experience due to secluded upbringing".
>>34900748>nerd with similar interests and taboo kinksWhat kind of kinks, anon
>>34901913>>34901948well first of all thank you very much for the advice, i really appreciate you taking the time to answer like this. >Im surprised the van of people offering their contacts here haven't arrived yet.eh i wouldnt take anyone up on it because i want to date someone i can meet irl. i dont think i could edate and feel genuinely connected.>Out of curiosity, what did you put in your hinge and duolicious dating profiles?nothing too crazy, just some photos of myself on hinge and duo and basically stated i want a likeminded loser. on duo i stated it outright but on hinge i cant remember how but i framed it in more of a le quirky self deprecating thing just because that app has a much more normal userbase. i never outright stated i had an incest kink, just implied i like taboo stuff sexually. >Have you tried tinder or the others? i have not, i was under the impression tinder was just for hookups. i wouldnt be 100% upfront about it because it is a very bold thing and i dont want someone who knows my family members to find me saying that on the app and tell them but i would try and indicate im into that in whatever wink wink nudge nudge way i can.>>34901972yeah sure sorry im bad at explaining it because there are some feelings i cant put into words.>some ideas appear to contradict each other which ones do you want me to explain?>some ideas appear to contradict each other and some are just vague like "no beforehand experience due to secluded upbringing"."no beforehand experience" just means also being a khhv and not having grown up with many friends and social experience. i want to be with someone who is on the same playing field so to speak.
>>34900748I wanted one of my 3 anime husbandos. The first one was a complete coward that chickened out of asking me out and then prompty got babytrapped, lol. Now a second one (my real fav og husband ngl) has finally appeared in my life. We're trapped in a really fucked up slowburn that's driving me crazy because basically I don't get to know whether I'll see him any given month, but I'm determined to see it through and wait for him. Tldr fuck the odds and naysayers, you can find what you want if you believe in yourself
>>34902145tinder is not just for one night stands. in some more limited areas its what the majority of people are using. Just be upfront about your wants to auto filter people. Saying youre not looking for one night stands or whatever should auto filter anyone looking for easy game.You'll probably still get dozens a day and will just have to manage. You have the opposite problem of men on the apps. For you it will be the conflict of choice.As for your wants id find a wink wink way to say youre looking for someone open to experiences. If you want to filter people you can kind of skunk your picture to not look as appealing to a certain personality type.Im from a male perspective so my biases dont match yours. Not sure a way of saying you want a khhv chud boy especially without only attracting closed off low effort fags. Just seems a bit doomed. Id just set up a date with someone every friday if i was in your shoes and let them know if you want to keep trying or if it isnt gonna work out.Just judging people by the cover of their face shot and limited info doesnt give much at all.But I dont use dating apps anymore so what do I know.I also assumed incest cause you posted the incest game>>34902142There he is. 8)
Look, you always 'settle.' Perfect is the mortal enemy of Good. Happy couples find The Package Deal. A matrix of positives, neutrals and negatives. I hope you will believe me when I say that you will love someone for the neutrals and many of the negatives, because that is who we are. So far as I'm aware, there's only been one perfect guy, ever, and the jews killed him like 2000 years back. You won't find someone perfect for you, not without getting to know them, and the worst part of that is that what you really want in a spouse changes as you grow, and a good spouse supports you as you grow. Right now you are blind, superficial AND stupid. Being with a person worthy of your love will change you a lot. Saying no to the imperfect now will never allow you the opportunity to become perfect for each other. Good Enough For A Start is more than good enough. FWIW, I've got a STEM doctorate, and two patents for surgical equipment. I'm big, quiet and ugly. My wife, OTOH owns a hair salon and is social. She was a St. Pauli girl (look it up) model and quietly brilliant, but has a GED. We're the happiest married couple I know of, and still act like two idiot teenagers. together... and had either of us been perfectionists, we'd never have met.
>>34900748It’s definitely possible you just have to be looking through enough threads to be able to find him. I managed to find my now fiance through an ideal partner thread and we were both each others first relationships and lost our virginity to each other. Happened to only live 15ish minutes away from each other too which made it that much better. He was 19 and I was 21 when we met for age reference too. All in all though it just takes time. I spent around 3ish years lurking and posting before I found his post and added him. Probably talked to a few hundred random people between starting the search and eventually adding him but it happened and its been 5 fantastic years so far and I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with him. Just dont settle cause the guy for you is out there you just have to find him.
My minimum is 26 to 35. Works in sales, private equity, or commercial real estate. His family has more than one house. He drives a sports car. Minimum 6'2" (sorry, but if you’re under six feet, what are we doing here? I want to wear 4-inch stilettos without making you insecure). He plays golf on Saturdays, wears crisp joggers or linen button-downs with the sleeves casually rolled up, and no baldness. He has to be emotionally grounded, because let’s be real I am providing enough emotional turbulence for the both of us. He needs to know my exact Starbucks order by heart, spontaneously book vacations, and genuinely think I am the smartest, prettiest thing on the planet, and he must ALWAYS pay.
Ladies, never settle for less.
Yeah well I want a pony.
>>34902145>>Which ones do you want me to explain.This one: You are confident and quite aware of yourself at the same time but you use some words that don't magnifies your qualities (for me this is wrong); i think you use autistic to describe being weird and awkward right?I don't how common this is for anglosaxons but at least i often describe myself with this expressions to "cope" with loneliness:Autistic or weird for way too culturally rich.Nerd for inquisitive nature.Unexperienced for whimsical.And then i noticed the idea that you have about not being in one side or another>>Too weird for normies and too normal for outcastAnd>>I never used medicated for anything else besides deficiencies.I think it's called Fictionalism when we have ideas that doesn't necessarily are true, me for example: when i was younger i though that i had to be an asshole to be a great artist, just like Rimbaud, i truly regret about it but i'm thankful because now i give advice for once!
>>34900748This is pretty reasonable at a STEM-focused university: a lot of young guys there will fit this mold. And the bonus is that they'll be working on degrees that pay good money. So I think you can find what you're looking for, OP. And kudos on the unusual taste in men.>>34902383This is not apropos of what you're replying to, but I appreciate that you point out that oftentimes, especially in American culture, we'll casually use derogatory terms for intellectual personality traits, even our own, maybe especially our own. Nobody wants to talk like they're "too smart" or "too sensitive" to get along with many people, but often that's just the truth.
>>34900748no offense sis but the type of guy you're describing will 100% give you the ick in person. i promise you. it's not like the fanfics
>>34900748Too retarded to mate
>>34900748I am most of the way there for this so I think it's mostly reasonable. >some kind of people hating autist loser This is me. I am a diagnosed autistic and I went to special school at one point. I also hate living organisms and somewhat sympathise with the sandy hook killer Adam Lanza.>nerd with similar interests and taboo kinks I don't have any kinks but I am into some things which are seen as nerdy. Not really pop culture stuff though if that's what you meant>not super chuddy but not too soft I am super chuddy>same age and amount of mentality stunted and childishness as me Idk how old you are but I'm 21. I am extremely immature for my age I think but I don't see that as a bad thing. I think what people call maturity is somewhat just becoming more enthralled into the machine>flexible appearance but preferably has dark short hair and light eyes and is not that muscular I am 6'1 or 2, 80 something kilograms, visibly muscular but not immensely. Perhaps not twinkish enough for you idk.>khhv (vastly preferred but i can settle) This is meAnyway I am not writing all of this to try and date you or whatever but I just thought I should share because I think I may be quite close to your ideal man so yes he does exist
>>34907006op left 48 hours ago. they'll never know you exist mr footnote
>>34907230Doesn't even matter they would've failed at this part:>Not really pop culture stuff though if that's what you meantI have a sneaking suspicion that what they think is pop culture and what OP thought was pop culture are two totally different things.
>>34907230Mb. I should've read the thread before posting and seen it died.>>34907667Wdym? I'm curious what you infer about me based on what I wrote
>>34900748>does that person even exist?>>nerd with similar interests and taboo kinks>>same age and amount of mentality stunted and childishness as memaybe but these are pretty vague traits
