Part #1:First time poster here. This is going to be a long one so skip to TL;DR at the bottom if you want to skip. About a year ago I (29 M) landed a new job that I enjoy very much. A few weeks in, qnd most of my coworkers in my department are now my close friends and we go out for drinks and movies on a regular basis. Since the beginning, I get along with everyone and they appreciate me; I feel like every time I show up to work they all want to be in my company and we all just get a kick out of being with each other. A few months in, I became friends with this girl in another department - we’ll call her “Zoey” (26 F). She is very extroverted, witty, and loves to be the loudest in the room. When we met, we found out we share the same interests and sense of humour; I got the vibe that she is used to being the one who says something funny/clever in social dynamics, and when I give it back tenfold, she is intrigued and impressed that someone can match her energy. After a few weeks we exchanged numbers and started becoming very close friends. We would often watch movies at her place, go out to eat, and text each other for hours after work. It became obvious to everyone that we shared a lot of chemistry. When we hung out with our group of friends, she always would stay close to me and sought me out for company. I began to notice as the new year approached that she would always seek my attention and company. She would stare at me from across the room, make flirtatious comments, and would call me all the time to talk. By the end of January, we got to know each other’s pasts and personal lives very well, and we would comfort and help each other through tough times and became really open with one another. It was at this time that I began developing feelings for her, and I strongly suspected that she liked me back.
>>34901210>TL;DR at the bottomno TL;DR
>29M>situationshipI'm not reading any further. Fuck that. Fuck you.Motherfucker, get back to your hobbies, get back to work, break up if you need to, stop acting like anyone gives nearly enough of a fuck to read all that shit. Fuck you. You're a grown ass adult pushing THIRTY, not a fucking instagram toddler. Make some adult fucking decisions and reduce the ambiguity in your life.
>>34901210No need for part 2, you waited too long to make a move. She found someone else. Get over it, be faster next time.
Part #2:The next month, I finally built up the courage to tell her how I felt about her and asked her out on a date. She reacted very warm to the revelation and beamed with happiness when she said yes. Since I began to know her, I noticed that she was extremely bubbly and extroverted in public, but in private she is very quiet and shy - always having a tough time opening up and building real trust with anyone. She is also extremely busy, often completely filling up every second of her day with events, plans, projects and friend groups. This got the point that I had to plan ahead if I wanted to do something with her. Planning our first date was tough on me, as her schedule was filled up with rehearsals for an event, among other things. I didn’t mind this, as this gave me the opportunity to lead and show interest in pursuing her which she was enthusiastic about. When our first date happened, it went extremely well: we laughed, flirted, and opened up to what we wanted. We settled on not labelling it and not put any expectations on it and to just “see where it goes.” We were also cautious that we were coworkers and we valued our jobs very, very much - and, since office romances have a potential to get messy, we decided to keep things low-key at work to not raise any eyebrows from the bosses. When we began going out, we would often watch movies, cuddle, hold hands, and kiss on the cheek. I noticed though, that most of the displays of affection would always come from me; she would rarely reach out and hug me or touch me out of her own will. It felt that it was always me giving the affection and her receiving it and enjoying it, but would not really seek it out - or be too afraid of reciprocating it.
>>34901238Bitch are you AI? None of us are reading that shit. Nobody cares about you or her. Make a grown ass adult decision to break up, cheat, or stay, but shut the fuck up. Nobody needs all of that context for any romantic issue that doesn't involve marriage.
Part #3:Zoey told me all about her past relationships and how most of them ended up on bad terms. Her last long term relationship ended because he cheated on her; this is not the first time she has been the recipient of infidelity, and has openly admitted to having a really hard time trusting potential partners and opening up to intimacy and vulnerability. At first, I didn’t mind this, as these trust issues are justifiable given the past betrayals of her exes, as well as her family not caring about her in the slightest. As months passed, I noticed that our dynamic would not progress. We would hang out regularly, flirt, go do something romantic, or go on a little get-together, but we would not even break more physical barriers, nor have conversations about where things were going. Also, I would notice that she would distance herself from me in public settings, almost like she wanted to keep our thing a secret from everyone else. Zoey would always liked large group gatherings, she seemed more comfortable in a public setting. We agreed since the beginning that we would take things slow, since both of us are relationship centred and our preference is to not get sexually intimate unless we reached a label first. After a few months, however, I felt like I was always the one planning one-on-one hangouts with her. While she liked spending time with me and would sometimes reach out and plan something together, it would mostly be me having to make time for us rather than her. While I understand that it is traditionally the man who should lead in situationships, mutual effort from both parties is the healthiest way to build things.
>>34901262nigga you need to understand if you don't like the situation you are in, you just gotta end it and move on. Yes, that sucks, but she is distancing herself for some unknowable reason. It makes you feel like shit and there is nothing you can do, so just stop responding. I know it is easier than it sounds, but fr you should always have backups. The fact you even had to make this post shows the relationship isn't working. She has other dudes she is talking to (every woman does no matter what sadly) and she is already enjoying the attention from someone else more than from you. She enjoy the attention you are giving her, so just stop. Plus, you mean nothing to a woman until you have fucked her. Sorry to be so blunt, but this is how things work and it sucks.
