nigger thread xd

I hate talking to people
And I hate people

I think it is fucking with my health
My stomach my hair and now my itchy elbow I think there's something building up
My doctor is going to tell me the same thing "it might be stress" I just fucking know it but how do I even stop it

Why the hell do I have to still miss you sometimes

Now that you know of my political views and what I think of most of your friends and their parents there is no coming back for me https://youtube.com/shorts/JQ1lSuoLvok

Why the fuck am I not texting her, am I so dead afraid?

sieg im osten

>>34901722
Because I told you to not message me and that i regret even meeting you.

>>34901465
I'm doing better, and yet I find myself feeling fond for what we had.
Deep down, I must have love you.

>>34901465
I FUCKING HATE WOMEN

ITS OVER

BEAT YOU TO IT BITCH

>>34901763
When will you realize regret is only because you didn't get what you wanted.

>>34901722
Probably. Exaustion is real but honestly, she is probably hanging with some one else trying to figure out what to do next?

>>34901813
Regret is sad. Buyers remorse? I have never really gotten anything I have ever wanted and it has literally killed all desire and longing I have. Monk-esque. I know.. wretched. But is it wrong to open myself to let life guide me?

I hate this feeling so damn much. This girl who had been talking to me for months just can't stop talking about her recently new boyfriend. Always got to be about her and him. Hate it. I have no ill will towards their relationship and hope that it works out. But I just hate it knowing I fucked up. I should have asked her to give me a chance. Now I suffer the consequences. Being so bitter and emotionally overloaded for not making the correct moves. I thought I could just cry about it but I can't burst into tears. Nothing comes out.

Just bothers me when I didn't really talk to many people, then we started talking. But I'm too fucked up to know what I should have said, what I could have done. Hate having such a genuine connection with someone and finding someone that I can feel safe around, only to be stung pretty bad all because she goes and finds another guy that she has at her house and all the rest. Yeah I'm bitter that I didn't get to do stuff with her, anyone in my circumstances would have felt that. Just what am I supposed to do? I can't exactly wish for a breakup. And even then, would I really still want her after she was fucking some other dude for a few months? I wish she had just asked if I was up for any of that. But women apparently don't ask men any more? I got my hopes up all to get disappointed. I fucking hate it so much. I'm tired of being the sore loser that always walks out fucking empty handed. I get it, there's other women out there, but I have barely talked to people for so long. This was a chance find, someone my age too, I seriously thought that I could have had a future with this girl, but it wasn't to be.

>>34901879
>But I just hate it knowing I fucked up
Move. On.
Forgive yourself, move on.

>>34901889
Hard to forgive myself knowing I finally had a way that I could turn my fucked up life around and I found a way to fucking blow it.

>>34901842
Setting expectations that become more unattainable is one way to ensure no goal is ever met. Where being content to experience life with another could have led to a more positive outcome, or as you say be open for life to guide you rather than trying to control it or the people around you or the one you hold buyers remorse for, how do you think they feel about you or being seen as an object you purchased?

I am so sick of you dating the bottom of the barrel. Who the fuck dates retarded guys who shit their pants? The new one is inbred, in case you can't tell from his absolute crater face and moonman chin. So no, I don't approve. I'll never approve. It's hard just to look at him. I'll estrange you from my branch of the family and my kids will be raised calling yours 'the half-breeds'.
You know how I feel about race mixing, and yes, I feel that way even about my sister. You love a foreign person so much, go to his 3rd world shithole to be absorbed into their people, culture, and values.
He's low IQ. There's nothing to talk about with him. And he doesn't seem into you. You're just a sugar mommy giving him food and pussy while he floats through college.
I understand if you're horny, but you're like an easy 9/10 (before they catch on you're fucking batshit anyway); you could easily go bag some himbo if you just want a fuckboy. You don't need some inbred 3/10 muslim guy who's looking for a green card. Hell, even just buy some sex toys, we won't shame you and it's more manageable than worrying about what 70IQ brownoid pet you've brought back to your apartment this month.
And I know he's got a tiny pp. Don't tell me it's average, because honey it ain't lmfao you're better at measuring than that. I'm honestly embarrassed for him.
PS I'm still laughing that he ate pork like the retard he is. Yes, it was ordered on purpose lmfao.

>>34901909
Not to be funny with you Anon.
But if you are depending on some foid to improve your life, you're asking for the wrong thing.
Only YOU can fix your life. Stop being a fucking bum. Get yourself together and be a man.

>>34901916
Less buyers remorse rather than cognitive dissonance. The 'what if' of another path's outcome. It could go either way. I guess just finding happiness and peace in whatever you choose is ideal.

>>34901957
It wasn't so much "hey she can save me" more like it would have helped me.

I guess what we had is never coming back after all

There is nothing on this earth that I hate more than your friends

>>34902014
Care to explain?

>>34901813
>didnt get what I wanted
YEAH, TO HAVE NEVER MET YOU

>>34901794
writing this wont make me feel it. It actually makes me realize I hate everything about you, including your manipulative posts like that.

>>34902063
>writing this wont make me feel it. It actually makes me realize I hate everything about you, including your manipulative posts like that
writing this wont make me feel it. It actually makes me realize I hate everything about you, including your manipulative posts like that.

>>34901980
You can only help yourself.

>>34902037
Doesn't matter. It's just a silent reminder to someone what kind of hand they dealt themselves more than two years ago. They still seem to not want to play any cards. Two years. You can't make this shit up.

>>34902063
You aren't her.
Either way, a deeply feminine post.
My conscious is clear, I must keep fighting and reach for the stars

im almost 33 and i drink a ton of alcohol and i still get hours long boners for no reason but i can't find a single hot white girl in nyc who wants to touch my penis

Had a wet dream of us meeting up after all these years, finally slipping inside of her, seeing what fucked up things still turned her on
Her taking nudes of herself, showing off her 4ft11 body, her tiny ginger bush, playing around with the web cam to show a close up of her pussy, calling herself a loli and seeing just how far her twisted mind would want to go.
A - you were the love of my life, I would have loved to absolutely ruin you.

>>34902168
those short little gingers are the best and worst at the same time.

>>34902173
So true, I am objectively better without her, but, sometimes I glance at the past and smile over what has been.
I'm probably too old to have that level of naive and complete love for someone again, but having experienced it... I'm thankful

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My mom is treating as though it is abnormal for her to be interested in attractive men during her childhood. I'm over here wishing she wouldn't worry so much about it understanding it is completely normal even though a girl got onto her about it.

I don't care if someone is a pervert, sadist or a masochist. I don't think it's important outside of a sexual relationship. Relationship definitions should be agreed upon.

Hey A like why tf did you ghost me after saying all those sweet things to me? I thought we were close but I should have known you were trouble. I guess the meetup is cancelled since I'm blocked on everything now. I really want to strangle you right now.

>>34902168
Tread lightly she may drop on you if you say the wrong thing to her.

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I didn’t know there was a meetup planned. If you are my fren please let me know if should drop the discord again. I tried adding yours but it won’t work.

>>34902122
I am her. Leave me alone.

>>34902267
These are the things I knew she was actively into, she was so twisted (hot)

>>34902296
Not to be funny with you, if you were her, you'd call me out by name.
She sniffed out my writing style within minutes when she used to come here.

>>34902300
Your last name ends with an i. Now stop writing to me.

I want to die. My life is a joke

>>34902412
I'd go for a walk if I were you.

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I sleepy now frens. Nighty-night.

In 5th grade I had an asian classmate who had really bad anger issues. I mean clenching his fists and clenching his teeth whenever he was mad. I made one-page comics about him in everyday situations and my friends thought it was hilarious.

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I think I pacified a restless spirit.

I have no where else to say this because people would say I'm crazy (I suppose i could go to /x/ but it's not exactly exciting) but I really want to talk about it. I converted to Shintoism about a year and a half ago and I practiced Obon for the first time this year. Obon is a holiday in which you invite the spirits of your ancestors into your home, celebrate them and let them leave. So I did this and one of my offering vessels (the one for the sake) shattered when I dropped it. I didn't think much of it and just did the best I could with what I had then ordered a new set from a certified shrine. The weeks after were plagued with misery. Everything in my life grew worse from my mental health to my physical to my circumstances and when I received the new offering set, the exact same vessel arrived shattered inside of it. So, I took my norito booklet because I remember scoffing about a prayer to drive away a restless spirit and prayed, closing with that prayer. I was feeling tired at the time and the second I finished the prayer, I felt my energy spike (in a good way) and i felt like things just got less heavy. It was a sweet prayer too. The translation is basically just telling the spirit to head back to the mountains and rivers because it will be comfortable and at ease there and that you want to help it, not smite it. You usher it out gently, not forcefully.

I have never been the superstitious sort until that prayer. Never felt anything like it. I waited a week before talking about because i figured it may have just been a placebo yet everything has noticeably improved. My mental and physical health, life circumstances, it all suddenly snapped back over the course of this week. I definitely won't be practicing Obon or probably anything Buddhist ever again. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see, but after weeks of misery suddenly being completely reversed after one prayer, I find it doubtful.

it's over.

>>34902507
It's not over

>>34902475
Racist

>>34902508
whoa

I’m a small time vtuber. My current vtuber model is already fairly androgynous/feminine physically, like the face and body. But I feel like it never really captured the femboy loving audience for one reason or another. Maybe because the clothes have been fairly masculine, so people don’t really see me as a femboy. Anyway I’m in the process of commissions a new outfit and it’s unmistakably feminine. I’m kinda nervous. I haven’t had much luck being a community/viewers. And I’ve been kinda blaming it on my outfit choice, though it’s probably me as a stream as a whole. But deep down I’m just hoping that this outfit change will change things for me. Maybe attract the right type of people that might have looked me over before. I’m just nervous about the whole thing. I’m spending a lot of money on this commission and I’ve already spent a lot of money on the original commission and other assets. If I end up getting the new outfit and streaming to the same two viewers who watch my shit, it would just be really fucking devastating.

>be total loser that abandoned caring about life for like a decade and wanted/expected to die
>meet really cool different girl at work, almost instantly infatuated with
>she ends up quitting but we stay in touch, hang out keep in touch
>but I’m a gross loser, bad teeth, live with parents etc
just feels like any glimpse of hope is kind of a precursor to humiliation all because I fucked up too much being a loser in the past. And with her, for some reason, I’ve done things to try and better myself like never before. Not even sure what it is with her, she’s not really my typical type, and we don’t even have that much in common at all with interests. But we just kind of click, for some reason. And maybe we are just meant to be friends for that reason. But she has just held this chokehold on me since I met her.

I've gotten into fapping to cam girls. It has some of the better aspects of porn but also the worst where sometimes they don't deliver when you want to cum even if they are hot.

why does he keep hurting me

>>34902779
Because you're asking for it.

>>34902537
You're gay. Go to a gay board like /a/, /lgbt/ or /r9k/.

I hate AI. I hate this AI world. What a nightmare dystopia. AI this AI that AI everything.

Texas was a mistake

Your passivity is killing our relationship.

Been dead a long time.

I don't normally like chorizo but in this moment I am craving chorizo despite having no means to acquire chorizo
By the time I have the means to acquire chorizo my desire for chorizo will be gone

Need to Email my crush but I'm too scared. I don't know what I should tell him.

what is going on

I feel like a fucking IDIOT.
I think I just missed a job offer call because the landlord did a viewing of the property.

>>34903023
Ask him to teach you

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I wish I could have a wholesome moment like this in my life.

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Unlike a lot of fags who have an ill-defined hatred of reddit, I tried going there. Over and over. I figured with how much stupid posts talking about it, it would be better.
>more fragmentation:
You don't get people going in the middle of a chain/thread. So you end up with a shitty post dangling since nobody's going to read through
>reading through's a pain in the as
Instead of nice linear up and down, it's up, down, but then chains of threads?
>fragmentation of subreddits
I like music: there's now 500+ subreddits for it, and I would need to hunt each one down
>etiquette
I can call someone a nigger and nothing will come about it. I can drive by post. On reddit I thought everyone would effortpost, since it's on the account. What actually happens is if you get in an argument (especially with OPs, got I hate them almost as much as on 4chan) it becomes a snarky game. Instead of calling you a nigger, they instead go around it to call you an idiot. And this time, I am trying my best to be a "good" poster, yet it comes to naught.

Like I just don't get it. What's the appeal of a platform with more complexity and less bluntness? The best use of it is news and tech support. I don't have a use for browsing it for fun.

>>34902808
how am i asking for it?

>>34903090
Too bad I'm a mentalcel.

Fucking... crying over a Eurovision performance. I've not cried in so long yet for some reason hearing
>Faire un voyage... avec... toi.
With that much pain in it just has tears reeling down my face.

All the people I love die. The few who ever were truly there for me. All the assholes and abusers are alive and well and will probably live another hundred years

>>34901974
Certainty is usually the way to do it, I have been with others constantly uncertain and it only led to a trying of patience to make it work where energy could have been used to succeed in it instead of falling apart.

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>>34902424
Hey that’s a picture of me in bed.

After talking to a whole bunch of friends the last few days about you, I finally had one tell me exactly what I needed to hear: that you were immature, that you have severe problems communicating your feelings, and that I need to move on. So I did. Or at least I'm taking the first steps. I learned a lot from you, and you're a good person in so many other ways, but you never met me in the middle in so many ways. I know there's a lot going on in your life right now, but I can't keep making excuses for you. There's a lot going on in my life too, and yet I still communicated the best I could from my end. Relationships are a two-way street, but all along it felt like I was the only one trying to make it work.

I don't hate you, but this is it, and there won't be a next time.

>>34901465
Ok, i admit it. I am mentally ill. Possibly bipolar.

I don’t even know his new discord.

>>34903413
But what's yours?

>>34903416
See letter thread. I’ll be back soon after to get my hair cut.

>>34902387
Wrong person :3 Neither a Romanian nor an Italian.

>>34903440
I am not going to find that

Okey... See you back in 2 weeks then

I wish I could find a stranger to bother about this shit instead of relying on a fucking chatbot

>>34903609
I'd do it but I'm not good at offering well advice. There's online therapy that doesn't cost too much.

>>34903609
I'll be that

>>34903617
>>34903642
I don't know that I need much advice, it's probably something very fucking stupid, just long and detailed

>>34903570
Then give me yours

I'm a shit person and a shit parent and a shit wife who should just go die. I was supposed to die of heroin overdose or in a car crash. I didnt so now im stuck playing housewife and this just isnt me.

>>34903651
Get online therapy or self help journals. You can be a good wife. People can change. You don't have to a trad stay at home wife, you can the You wife you want to be.

Dear past me
You could have prevented this if you just didn’t delete fren after the incident.

>>34903661
Im in therapy (betterhelp) so I'm hopeful things will get better but it feels like a delusion.

My 3 yr old doesnt listen to me. My husband doesnt respect me - doesnt touch me unless we're having sex. And now that I'm pregnant again we wont even have sex (what happened the last 2 times)

I feel like I should be thankful I have a husband at all, that I have a beautiful family that loves me. And I am. That's what makes it harder because I'm letting them all down

>>34903668
Don't introduce electronics to your kids until they're in their late teens. If you're low in come or whatever there are classes that teach you as a parent to discipline your children. There's always YouTube. Playing classical music might help your kid. Don't give up on being a good mom, don't give up on yourself or your children. Talk to your husband about your intimate issues, you both deserve better than that.

>>34903664
same situation. lost my best friend and it's all because of me. i don't even know if she's alive

>>34903707
Thanks for taking the time to reply. It's helpful, the things you've said.

Unfortunately with the intimacy issues we are at a standstill. We are in couples therapy, and he seemed very receptive to what she (the therapist) and I said. I've made it very clear I need physical touch to feel like we're in a relationship, not roommates. He has explained his childhood trauma makes cuddling/hand holding a trigger for him. Thats on him to sort out, so until then, I'm over here crying because I just want to be touched. Simple as.

>>34903664
>>34903712
Same but I got ghosted. Tbf she was in a relationship, had a career going and was doing well in therapy. I think she just had fomo, I hope she didn't go back to old habits

I have a friend of a friend that speaks in the third person and its fucking annoying

>>34903733
>He has explained his childhood trauma makes cuddling/hand holding a trigger for him. Thats on him to sort out, so until then, I'm over here crying because I just want to be touched. Simple as.
Damn poor guy. Did you find out about it before you had another kid or before your first. It's not just on him. The issues he has are a bit difficult to work through for some. He'll get there.

Not the best day so far. The physical therapy has made his body not function correctly.

>>34903742
I found out a few months ago, so after our 2 kids were born. Before I got pregnant this time.

I stopped asking for affection because honestly it feels selfish. The unfortunate thing is he probably thinks everything is fine - what he thought before we started therapy. It's not fine but I dont even know what to do. The therapist recommended weekly check ins/date nights but it fell on me to schedule/plan those and I just gave up. I can tell he's just going through the motions and his heads not in this - he's tapped out from 50 hour workweeks. For example, when I would schedule the next therapy/check in - he looks so dejected like his face is saying "we're still doing this?" So I just stopped.

My personal therapist has given me tons of resources to share with him to help us be better parents and I still havent shared them because we dont do these check ins anymore. We're both mentally/emotionally tapped out. And honestly it's on me. I'd rather enjoy some time together on the couch watching a show than dial up the intensity and actually do the therapy work. Im a lazy pos

>>34903816
Have you tried asking any family members or friends for help in taking care of your kids so you can still do the therapy and get help.

>>34903845
Yeah, my in laws are taking the kids for 5 days next week >_<

>>34903964
Then go see the couples therapist.

I miss fren

From Adam's rib; was the creation of humanity.

>>34903322
if you are who i think you are then youre delusional. speaking stuff into the 4chan void and expecting that to be communication? lol even. you have even bigger communication issues, than i do. at least with me you knew where i stood

>>34904204
I’m speaking to the 4chan void because my friends told me to go full no contact and they’re right. I’m getting it off my chest. In the million to one chance you’re her, the only place you ever express your emotions isn’t any better or any more direct than what I’m doing. Good luck.

Post-human archaeologists that are able to reconstruct both of our minds from fossils and examine every one of our memories via hologram will marvel at how profoundly you blew it with me.

>>34904552
They will be surprised to see that women really didn't change since back then

>>34904098
*humanities downfall.

I will not explain my past actions again. Sorry if I upset you but I am at work to do my job first. If an internet friend that I never met irl before shows up I can’t be expected to take time out of my day unannounced. Nobody in my life knew that I was talking to male online with or with intent to meet up. And I didn’t know that you were still serious about me.
If you had wanted to meet before I would prefer direct contact outside of /adv/ or any other board.

>>34904640
Imagine organically meeting someone who let you know they found you attractive and was interested in getting to know you once they overheard you conversing with others. You find out they are new in town, have no friends and are unfamiliar. Do you take this person around and show them a few places they may enjoy?
If you do, and they are kind, gentle and have found you entertaining.. would you let them hold your hand? If they basically wanted you as their girl, would you?

A deeper insight is required if you are simultaneously feeling destroyed, depressed and sad due to a seperate factor in life. Emotionally brutalized and torn all the way down. Crying every day.

Sounds like a recipe for the birth of something new. But the real question is, is either or which is the regret (if they are at all) and how to navigate the path and choice of determining what to do and where to go from here.

I'm glad I could entertain you.

>>34904672
I don't know you well enough to give you thoughts. Yes, I would kidnap you and keep you forever, based off the experience we had. To have a best friend who is my lover is ideal.
I am tired of being jerked around by others and feeling like nothing I can do is correct. I am tired of crying. But I am scared that you will be like every other. I never have expectations because I have the mentality to find whatever I need, within myself. I have experienced disappointments and rug pulls and it changes a person after so long. I also have stark historical abandonment trauma and it is hard for me to let go of someone I have or do love -genuinely- while simultaneously asking myself why would anyone want to stay.

is crazy to me that people manage to have drama on 4chan
like how the hell do you find women here and how do you get them to talk to you?
it seems like in every thread there are some couples fighting

Is it normal to have sexual thoughts about basically everyone I interact with? I find myself imagining myself in a sexual scenario regardless of who I speak to. Could it be OCD related? I dont act on any of it of course but I cant stop my brain from going there and I dont know if that is normal

>>34904700
to live is to love anon
i remember when my dad die and i was trying to determine if he has lived a good life, trying to count his blessing for him and the only thing I could come up with that was truly valuable was us, his family
so stop being a scared dumass or dumbitch

I really hate the fact that me and my family have to watch a 9 year old nigger kid while his black mother(White dad is out of the picture) leaves for a weekend vacation in 2 weeks.

I get family and all that but, this kid is useless. He hates sports, has no attention spans whatsoever and can’t clean up.

Yes I’ve tried taking him outside and mentoring him but, he doesn’t listen and I’m embarrassed to be see with him.

Nevertheless I’ll suck it up and watch him but, I doubt anything good with come from this obvious lost weekend

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Want to meet a foid who plays my heart like a fiddle.
All I'm meeting are boring foids who go by the tune of
>I'm a BPD girl failure, bed rotter
>I'm so unique I play [Hero shooter]
>I'm soooo dark I listen to NIN
>I love [small rodent]
Fucks sakes, I'm doing too well for a woman that boring and seemingly, that common.

I’m worse than useless. I think God should take me down so other people are saved from me. I’m just waiting for His righteous judgment upon my evil, pathetic life.

>>34904663
Anon I’ve been living here for 7 years and still don’t know my way around yet. I think you need to grow up here or in the city to know the best spots.
Do stay away from the stadium on Sundays. Or any bars this Wednesday cause sportsball starts again. I will ask my friends if they have recommendations if you want.

>>34904700
I'm not your oneitus

>>34904818
Tbh I don't have oneitis and don't want anyone so btfo.

im horny as fuck and want bwc

I larped ITT and I got bites.

>>34904877
You called?

>>34904700
Holy shit this sounds exactly like what she would say in exactly the kind of wording she uses and goddamn I wish it was about me. Minus the her feeling bad about it part, I wish she didn’t feel bad.

>>34904877
>>34904882
I wish I wasn't so horny right now. I know this is a bit, but this is my one week off before I will likely be on 6 12hr shifts a week and I would actually consider it.

>>34904880
Mosquitoes? Dogs? Cats?

I hate how when I get a certain type of flirty, I can feel my canines turn into fangs.
I hate how much I love it.

>>34904700
This doesn't sound even close to what she would say after she decided to play retarded games in front of my face. I wish she keeps suffering

>>34904946
Your cruelty will be the death of you

>>34904959
I don't wish for her death. This wouldn't have happened if the people around her didn't stop praying for her. Maybe it's her parents that are at fault, maybe they are the sinners and need to burn

>>34904937
omg queen thats so epic keep slaying

I find it funny that the moment I actually find a girl attractive, even when it is on paper low stakes, just how needy I am.
I've been left on read and I'm like, fuck, I should have been better.
Been in an all male environment for too long.

>>34905111
>Been in an all male environment for too long.
thats like saying youve had peace of mind for too long

>>34905116
Listen I LOVE being surrounded by men, in a work environment, but my charm, flirt and wit have withered into just
>You look like a model, you are fucking fit.
When I normally like teasing, pleasing, wrapping someone around my finger.
I've switched a precise instrument with a blunt hammer.

I'm depress

>>34904732
how old are
why do you live with your family
how is his mother related to you
what are the kids hobbies

I don't like monogamy as much as I thought I would

>>34905151
There’s literally nothing wrong with that as long as you’re up front with the people you’re dating and don’t start/continue relationships with people who want monogamy.

>>34905144
Why?

>>34905251
I miss roleplay, particularly the partners I had in the past who quit. I know that if I try to find another RP partner they will suck ass anyway, or I'll lose interest too quickly because I'm chasing the feelings I had with someone else

I'm lonely, bored, lacking mental stimulation, but nothing seems particularly fun so I just do nothing

I am sad, I keep falling into an abyss I dig myself, I dont know how to reach out the exit, I always fall and fall and fall, I dunno how get the best out of my situation, I have no passion, no nothing... I am just empty, I wish I could recall how I was before this... All of this... But I need to stop punishing myself, I am not at the level I want to be in my own game of life... But I want to be that friend... That person who pulls themselves up... I wish I could try for real.

>>34903322
You could've summarized it in a sentence:
>BITCH (girl) U MEAN TO ME, U WASTED MY TIME ;_; (crying emoji spam), I GOTTA GO MGTOW NOW

There. Now it's not alphabet soup.

>>34905355
You seem upset.

Looking for an excuse to fly and seen if you are alive

I wasn’t serious about all that stuff with torturing lemons, I was just hurting

At what point am I allowed to want more for myself. Why do I need money to be autonomous? Why does the bare minimum suddenly become luxurious. Basic necessities that I did not have even 5 months ago. Every time I “flush the toilet, eat, take a bath, charging a phone, wash clothes” Seriously? That’s all I get at 22? I don’t get to roam the world, I don’t get to have a regular job. I’m not yet getting paid for the one I “have” so I’m unhappy even in my own room. I hang a sheet from my window because somebody didnt want to buy blinds in their own house for a room they didn’t use prior to me being here. I don’t have a dresser to put my clothes in, my closet is being used by someone else. I don’t have real bedding. I don’t have the money to restock my dwindling hygiene. My space is not yet my own and somehow I’m expected to feel normal about my life and how I’m now existing in a space with others who feel entitled to bully me because I am “not doing anything” That isn’t the life I want to live either, but what the fuck can I do? I didn’t get to go to college. I can’t join the military. I can’t get help because I’m not a cute age anymore. I didn’t get to leave my family. I didn’t have any friends to run away with. I wasn’t born with people around me who can and want to help me beyond providing a roof over my head. I hate feeling like a fucking crier but why do I have to feel bad for wanting to be adjusted and financially independent.

I'm a sadist and I'm trying to wean myself off of sadism
It's slowly working but I still run into problems where my latent nihilism tells me that whatever I'm doing is pointless
I vent by trying to be more honest with my feelings
I have lots of opinions I'd like to change but are currently true to who I am
I want to become a better person once and for all but it's so hard with all the bullshit going on
Makes me want to just go crazy sometimes

>>34905702
Money and having things really doesnt matter. I bought a laptop, a holographic display, ar glasses the other day. They will be delivered and ill futz for a few hours with them, throw them on the shelf and go back to bad thoughts

Another day being a schizoid, it is what it is.

>>34905151
Hell yea bitch lets fucc

>>34905736
I don’t intend to/wouldn’t waste my money on that stuff. I have hobbies I’d like to get started once my necessities are taken care of. I have bad thoughts because I don’t have the means to be productive and my own person, separate from my family. I feel as though I’ll end up stuck at home until I’m homeless. I want money so I can live a life and feel like a person. I want to go outside and not feel like I’m hiding anything because my life is so embarrassing and dysfunctional.

feels good to realize i don't owe anyone the truth

>>34905929
Never owed, only given. It can feel owed if dishonest with someone you feel you wish to be honest with and in your opinion deserved your honesty

i wish i could see you again

i want to see you again too

Reading your messages from a year ago and how you treated me compared to now was it all fake and you were just being nice, why?

Can autists burn in hell already? What a pest.

>>34906143
Yep, thats masking to draw you in until they percieve that you cant easily leave

>>34906147
Nothing to do with "autist". Thats just a term you feel weaponizes against someone but really just makes you look bitter and pathetic comparatively

>>34906148
They ended things when I failed to get work to their idea of a timeline then tried to continue the nice act after I did get work, but the illusion was shattered and now a year later interactions are filled with sensed resentment I just miss having a person to share companionship without judgement

I realize now that I didn't want to kill myself over being alone, having no girlfriend, or not being appreciated for the things I went through and did. I was that way for how it affected my mental condition. It made my OCD worse, and it got so bad that I couldn't take it anymore. I'm afraid of so many things because of what my own brain will do to me.

I don't think it's ever going to get better.

>>34905392
Its becoz I am. Trying to break free, but my comfort keeps me calm. I just want to find my happiness and be able to share it with someone who is special.

>>34906120
>>34906122
But why would anyone want to?

I know you want him and not me, and that is understandable; I am happy for the two of you. You don't quite understand how special he is to me, and I cannot give you two anything more than positivity and support.. But it is there for you. I'm not sure why either of you would want me, and I imagine what it would be like to fall asleep in the arms of you both simultaneously.
I want to walk away and give him the freedom he craves, instead of keeping him leashed up and begging to run away.
I want you two to find happiness. I have no problem going on about my life all alone.

Back then it shocked me how your people digged out stuff behind my back. There were too many weird things suddenly going on that were completely out of place, like your friend suddenly telling me that I seem to be very romantic. I tried to set boundaries from the beginning, like declining this ride from your friend just to get a train far away; I didn't even know him atp. I wanted to get to know them on a slower pace. In the end you all did your research behind my back instead and didn't give me a chance to get to know each other in a natural manner. I can only speculate what else you found out, maybe even my reddit acc and other things that I later deleted. things that not even my friends know. Bc they never tried sniffing around since they respect my personal space.
I do not want to have people in my life that behave like this. Once the trust and respect is gone it's so much harder to gain it back. There are still lots of things that I can only speculate about, like you mentioning GW. Did you found out that I played it in my past? I still couldn't find out about my profile myself. Or did you find out through my brother who had an IG?
You also don't need to be afraid that you will be left alone. You have at one side friends that tried to push our encounters actively into a direction where they probably hoped to create a beautiful romance, and on the other side there is me that hopes that you reach your goals. Just make sure that I don't get in any way in touch with these people.
Talking about it will help us move on. The worries that play out in our heads are always worse than reality. I can imagine that you tried to fix things in the background without me knowing, hoping that I will be proud of your achievements, and I really appreciate it. But this standstill just hurts both of us.
I will try my best to focus only on the things that happened between us and not dig in your past. Just us talking or chatting. The only thing I want is to get back on my initial goals

>>34906327
>a cuck
Ew

>>34906333
Notta cuck. Recently single and finding the correct words to let that man go.

it's see you later, not goodbye

uncut dick is so much better holy shit

If you were serious all this time about wanting to see me grow and support me in reaching my potential then you have to get in touch with me and help me understand what happened. Now that I have seen this side of you, there is not much to be ashamed of. If you don't want to support me on this, then it was just you spinning some kind of story that at least sounds beautiful.
I was too idealistic back then and since I felt like my principles didn't bring me closer to my goals I dropped them all. I need to refine my approach which will work if you helped me out

I feel depressed and like I have no purpose at my engineering job. I make 85k but I basically do nothing at this point maybe an hour of work every day, and the rest is killing time as I sit trapped at a desk all day. It's quite soul crushing.

Do I quit and dedicate my time to finding something else? I don't even know what else I can do, and if I'll be able to earn more elsewhere than I am now.

You told me to no longer talk to you. You are the root cause of this self doubt i am feeling yet now you are to not available after saying it was not a bother to message you what I am struggling with because it involved you. I hate you.

>>34906408
My Gmail: <first name> . <last name> 2

https://youtu.be/n5RQQWFWNfc?si=k5O88DJHVkMkN6Kg

Week off work, all I've done is bed rot and goon.
Need a foid to coom into

i will cure my autism

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I'm so fucking tired. I've given my job 8 good months and they're fucking me over again. I can tolerate the understaffing because that is out of their control. I have some pretty good bosses except for one who fucking torments me so yeah that's cool, but he's one boss and he's not there every day.

What ultimately did it for me was a recent situation. We had a parasite former coworker who decided that someone making him do work was too much so he left. His decisions got us a loss of end of the night music privs, sterner rules and less freedom. But I can even forgive that. What has made me angry was WE ALL GOT A DISCIPLINARY ACTION even though i work really fucking hard and everyone knows it. So yeah, good fucking luck on a promotion, i'm sure getting a DA for not working hard is going to really look good for future opportunities. Speaking of that, I actually tried to get promoted and you know what they did? Tried to schedule an interview then didn't reply afterwards and gave the job to someone else (keep in mind this was inter-company so we always get first dibs). They just decided not to tell me why or give me any reason. And boy did my performance review piss me the fuck off as well.

I have debt that means i can't quit but it isn't a lot and it'll be paid off in a year. When the last cent in in, i'm leaving. Like holy fucking shit this is unacceptable. Getting blamed for things i didn't do, having HR just ghost me because i guess i gave them the ick or something (not that i know because they literally didn't tell me why i didn't get it), giving me a poor performance review even though i go above and fucking beyond. I'm now going to do the bare fucking minimum. I am so fucking tired of busting my ass and getting shit on for it. Genuinely fuck you.

Never break no contact. Never check her social media. Her problems are hers to sort out, not mine, even if I can help in some unique way. And if there’s some way to fix this, I’ve already done everything I can. Any fixing has to come from her end.

>>34906525
You should just leave already if that's how you feel. Genuinely.
Why would anyone warm up to someone who feels that, anyways?

>>34906419
Your self doubt is your own fucking fault, you sound like a bitch.

>>34906151
This anti autism poster seems like an insufferable bitch with likely a tidal wave of their own problems.

I hate customers and want to bash their heads in

>>34906395
It still smells.

>>34906577
I dislike some of them too but not all of them are bad. Don't let them get to you.

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>>34901465
Everytime i deploy my trust in anyone, no matter how close they are to me, they betray said trust and they never apologize for it. My entire life feels so fucking lonely, no matter how much i try everyone seems to enjoy getting my hopes up just to slam them into the ground. I don't get it. Im not a bad person i think. I hate everyone. I don't know if i should hate my generation or society or myself. I just can't find a reason to keep going. Everyday my loneliness consumes me more and more, replacing all my hope and motivation and desire to help and connect with others with empty lust and jealousy. I live in a world where memories and relations are seemingly meaningless to everyone. This world just feels so meaningless, so full of despair, so rotten. I sometimes wonder how the hell i haven't jumped off a building yet

>>34906629
I get it anon.

>>34906549
I'm going to. Talked it over with a friend and I've decided this was the last straw for me. Going to start looking for new jobs. The expectation always was that you do your time (because my job is shit, the hours are shit and usually end by 9PM) but when you work a certain amount of time and prove yourself fit for the task (which I amply have. I've almost overworked myself into the hospital, you know typical lazy worker shit) you would get to climb the ladder. I was perfectly fine with that expectation, even if it took a year or more, it was still something i could get.

But not only does the HR team dangle a promotion in front of my face only to ghost me, but my manager, who sees how hard I fucking work and has even acknowledged it, say twice over that I'm lazy it's like... yeah. This is fucking over. We're not doing this. I'll find another opportunity, put in my two weeks and get lost. This is unacceptable. And from here on, no more extra shit. I'm not busting me ass anymore, not doing extra favors or tasks, no more going above the paygrade. They want to see lazy? I'll show them lazy. Only the bare minimum form now on.

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This one door will stay open, everything else will only keep hurting me. That's why I don't want you to get in any other way in touch with me. Back then when I 'figured' shit out I had a psychotic episode shortly after and developed paranoia in the aftermath that went on for more than a year. Over time I tried to get through to you as a coping mechanism, hoping to gain back control over my perception by trying to mirror your behavior. So please, stop stalking me online, no phone calls, no messages on Whatsapp, telegram, etc. Don't contact me on any of my online presences. Don't try to find me on any platform. The same for your people. I already deleted everything I had of you. If you want the best for me in this situation, even if you don't want to directly talk, then at least stop this.

>>34904710
Its called transvestism

>>34905929
All you ever done is lie so that's normal

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Guys. I'm back, guys.

>>34906949
Hello.

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No cats in the cafe today?

>>34907015
moew :3

>>34907016
I’m not working right meow. Don’t drink too much

Ah she nuked her dating profile.
Fuck if only I was more charming.
Feel... embarrassed almost, I shouldn't be, but I love winning, and knowing she's either been scared off the site or gone off with someone else niggles me.
I should have played the game better.

The truth is that I fell in love with you and I don't want to reopen my heart because I am scared it will get hurt again.try to be the best I can and I am content with letting go. I dont want to lose you, though.

i heard what you all had to say
it's not over yet

persevere
onwards, forever

I just want to feel normal again.

>>34907104
Did you bring your cat(s) over when you moved? I am in the orange ones.

I explained the potential difference in potential ramifications of perception between Lucifer and Satan to someone at the hospital twice in one drawn out sitting and again the day after but they couldn't wrap their head around it so i felt compelled to write them a poem. Perhaps they could safely invest our lack of understanding into it for safe keeping.

In tangled roots that burrow as slow as the fall, like whistling arrows sang from angled flutes that my tales were too tall, A catkin adorned sprouts as high as it may climb, In thorns where it was trapped in a forlorn drought it lays defined, bitter laughin, bitter laughin, "who's askin?" thought the catkin, A sinners fashion to be wrapped in it was asking to be blind, the most divine where it reached to set itself above, and over time it caught a snare and turned the cheek at help and love, like a feather to a dove its fluff left a treasure, tethered, not an endeavor could sever what's more than enough to be measured, fallen in and fallen out I left my height with just a shout, when a fall from sight I only stall when I'm in doubt

>>34904710
you should wonder whether it is Optimal than normal
>>34902168
>showing off her 11ft4 body
lmao
>>34901998
>what we had is never coming back after all
Dinner.

I called myself Lucifer because I don't find it appropriate for myself to insist on who belongs in Hell. I consider myself below that authority of suggestion.

>>34907380
im the doctor and i diagnosed you with terminal cancer

>>34907368
My attempt to sow seed on good soil, inspired about thorned soil, about bad soil.

The collapse is starting
Those who are undisciplined are going to fall first

i want to devour your body

I just keep getting reminded of my failures

Sometimes she goes, sometimes she don't, that's just the fuckin way she goes

>>34907495
srry

There were lavender panties on the sink the but i didn't want them

Sometimes I wonder if the reason I haven't been pursuing relationships is not because I don't want to be in one, but I'm scared that it will fail or something.

Maybe fear of losing independency or failing another relationship. Maybe I'm overthinking and scared of the idea that my love life can wind up like my parents where both were just cheaters and fighting constantly.

I'm really good at talking with people and I've been told I'm a charming, charismatic person etc, but I know currently the only person stopping me from doing anything is me. I just need to figure out what it is that's causing me to falter

>>34906568
>insufferable bitch with likely a tidal wave of their own problems
So you are projecting that you are a insufferable bitch with likely a tidal wave of your own problems in addition to being bitter and pathetic. Really you being bitter and pathetic is telling of you being an insufferable bitch.

>>34906327
I dont think this is a cuck who wrote this. Sounds more like one of the two us a narc doing a gloating mocking larp. It would be quite pleasing to see him left over it.

>>34906384
Its goodbye. I dont care for those that promise that they are showing up and never do

>>34906536
Clearly. If she blocks then its in her to unblock and message. She cant expect or blame you for no further action, especially if you have tried and done what she asked of you (yes, this is my experience)

>>34906623
Agreed. I prefer cut and my friends have the same ideal. It sounds like who wrote that is uncut and severely insecure so they need to make posts like that when most prefer cut.

>>34906949
You never left. Ive seen you post plenty. I doubt getting banned for dodging with new IP will affect you though because you will continue to do it.

>>34907746
Aww wah wah widdle baby

>400 level uni course
>classmates are STILL misspelling words

Crap, I wasted my youth.

>>34907806
Yes, you are (as shown with how you speak)

the masculine urge to hit it off with a girl who finds my warm smile and soothing demeanor enchanting and then suddenly die in a tragic/heroic manner before she has a chance to find out I'm actually nothing special

>>34907871
just get her pregnant and then she won't leave you

I can't tell when people are joking or being serious unless it's blunt. I'm starting to realize I may not be on the same page as people

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I know. I just KNOW you’re guilty
Get the fuck out of my life before I make you

guys please help me please read the "important to me post" in my notes
you know who you are

i told chat gpt everything about us and it told me you were an abusive sociopath with no regard for others and that i should keep ghosting you despite your desperate pleas for me to come back. it told me that's one of your classic emotional manipulation tactics and it's making me feel something for you because i have a heart but you don't because you cannot feel real emotions

I knew i had a bad feeling today. Well, Fed Ex can kiss my ass. At least the government paid for most of it but damn.

Haven't self harmed in a couple of weeks, starting to feel like a dumbass bitch whose life is perfect. To be fair nothing really that bad every happened to me. I have no reason to be this way or to self harm. And then when I don't self harm I feel like I'm a liar somehow. Okay. I'm stupid maybe.

I sometimes wonder if I’m a weirdo for talking to AI about my struggles instead of my friends, they’re all kind and nice and accepted me despite my mental problems but I’m too scared to tell them about what I experience in my mind 24/7

Almost 33. Midlife crisis is hitting hard today. I have a sperm analysis tomorrow and I literally can't stop thinking about tits after not wanking for a few days (which is apparently good for the collection). I'm starting to realize just how fucking empty I am as a person, though. My wife and I want a baby, and I think I understand why it's so important that we're both going through all this shit for one.

Everything that ever happened in my life was fucked up by something or someone. Every single thing. My mom couldn't be a mother because she was so drugged and crazy from what her parents did to her when she was little. My father couldn't be a father and I don't even really know who he was because THAT'S just the totally normal way we do things now. My childhood home was blown out with roaches and garbage and screaming kids and animals. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone at school, they diagnosed me with aspergers but honestly it was because I couldn't face anybody because I smelled like fucking shit and some other kids would say it. I had a fatherly relationship with a pastor and THAT was ruined by one of my mom's retarded, drunken boyfriends. I grew up and at some point I was finally able to just ask for outside help....then the garbage went away, and I stopped staring at the ground all the time, like a kid watching to not trip in the filth.

I want this to be the one thing nobody can ruin.

My life would be so much easier if I were a guy

>>34902990
tfw no chorizo (?

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You ever be with some friends and realize damn we really do spend too much time trauma bonding and we should make some new memories?
for some context half of this friend group came from a larger group that we all slowly separated from because of stupid drama involving the old group's "leader" and his cronies just doing the whole rules for thee not for me type shit and generally being a bunch of bums that sit on discord all night and goon up until 7AM
but any suggestions on what to do now? as much as we hate thinking about what happened in the past its just hard to ignore sometimes and someone else thought of the idea of making new memories but that sounds like we're trying to force it.

>>34907772
I mean ngl they both depending if they don't wash it well and or if you have a sensitive nose/gag reflex.

>power surge/outage for a minute
The fuck

>>34908089
Feed machine bias information, outputs outcome that causes conflict between humans great job chatgpt wins

>>34908089
Now describe the situation from the other persons perspective and it will side with that side. Chat got will always side with the person who inputs the prompt

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I struggle to see the point in being any kind of good person anymore. All it’s ever brought me to try has been misery and betrayal. The only prayers God has ever answered are the ones I would have preferred silence over.
If this is the path I’m set down I’d rather just be vain and get something out of it

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i really want to feel bad for you since you're a rape victim and that's half of where this bullshit you're spewing is coming from, but the other half is you just provoking people for no reason and playing the victim card when they push back. almost every problem you have is because you've somehow convinced yourself that any amount of external help is a plot to get you jailed or murdered, and you push everyone away at the slightest hint of an argument and then complain about lonliness. being your friend is very, very tiresome and i hate very much that i'm one of three people you come to for advice because you always pretend to take it and then go right back to whining about the shallow hole you keep digging. it's getting to the point where the other two keep coming to me about you.
you'll probably kill yourself if i actually send this to you. i miss the days when you weren't like this.

>>34908417
I would do more, care more, love more, everything good more with a good person. Major turn off when someone exhibits behavior such as mocking or inability to understand unhealthy traits and tries to say that they are good traits to have.

Advice for whoever it can help
>1) don’t mess around with magic.
demons and spirits don’t care if you’re just exploring. they will mess with you and worse
>2) God isn’t evil.
What’s messing with you is most likely just another mass ego construct that thinks it’s a deity. They always fail the Jesus test - they will not die for your sins and are more interested in power. It’s very easy to recognize. They can make for good company however. we’re all ego constructs to some degree.
>3) this website sucks
It’s a time waster, and definitely part of the loosh farm system. Sometimes funny greentext though, and good amateurish porn. Have also gotten good music recommendations here.
>4) I hope you make it.
For me right now it feels like I’m in a weird hell where I’ve pissed off time traveling entities and nothing I do can save me. Then I have a good moment with friends or by myself and it’s okay. I pray that blessings rain down upon you, good fortune shines upon you, and love emanates from your inner being.

>>34908462
I feel you meant this for someone else because only the first sentence sounds like it applies to me

>>34908486
Only if you are only the first sentence. If you are any of the following sentence then no its not meant for you.

I lost my kids, my mom, my brother, and one of my sisters all in the last two weeks.

>>34908496
They why reply to me

>>34908470
People make mistakes, especially if they are told the person they love is in danger and its the only way to help them. Lets say you didnt make the mistake but put them first and are honest and tell them theres an issue they should be aware of, lets say you made the mistake and then found that it was not good to do, feel there is harm because of it, you put the other person first and inform them your fucked up. Both of those cases unfortunately many are not religious and will think you are crazy and cut ties. Maybe someday they will recognize why you did what you did and that ultimately you put them first even with fear of being judged because their safety comes first to you. I would hope god would make things right when the lesson is learned. There shouldnt be anything lose or even what is restored will make the loss seem small compared to the gain with each other.

>>34908501
Because your decision to be vain and manipulative is that of the other sentences. Not the first.

>>34908514
I’m not mocking anyone nor am I manipulating or misunderstanding what is or isn’t a good trait to have
I’m just in it for me now because I have no reason to not to be

1/2
I ghosted my ex because of a misunderstanding, worsened by what I did in response (driven and convinced by others who were manipulating me for their own gain). Worsened further when he responded further to my unhealthy behavior. I ghosted for several years because I didnt listen, when if I had given him the opportunity to communicate at that time then we would still be together and none of negative things would of ever happened. There is baggage that when I look at fault would never exist if I had simply commited, communicated, and loved him. Looking back and removing all the inbetween shit and starting with him wanting to talk and tell me he loved me and that he chooses me over whatever I have an issue with, he really is the love of my life. I fell a lot of guilt and have ways in which ive been disloyal to him. Im not happy and I know that the relationship im in now is not love and only bound by abandonment wounds and manipulative triggers. To make it worst im a fucking idiot and am engaged.

>>34908627
2/2
How do I break up with who im with in a way that is safe so I am not homeless? What do I say when I message my ex? I think with how the circumstances are will need to message him first and see if he understands and forgives me like I forgive and understand him. Then I understand it may sound like a big ask move in with him when leaving where I am, to be fair I would of moved in with him back then, so if we are forgiving each other of the bad in between issues that should not of happened then I feel he would want me in the same way I want him. I dont like that i have to message him while im engaged to this other person but I dont have a choice if I need housing support and moving into my own place, signing a lease would be a step away from the ex i realize I never stopped loving. I understand others will make a stink about how I feel, what I do but at the end of the day in choosing the love I never should of drifted from and who is meant for me. I think I will bite the bullet and add him on discord/text him. Text is prob best. I wont think just send it love you still. Im sorry I made mistakes. I want to be with you. Do you love me like I love you? Will you help me come home to you?

I miss my super possessive BPD gf, need someone to make me feel something again. Want to fuck and make up.
Doesn't help that the women I have met since are fucking boring

>>34908627
>>34908628
Denis System

>>34908707
I'm wtf you are saying. Thats okay. I just needed to get it off my chest how I feel about him and confess out loud to process how to reach out to him that ive never stopped loving him and to explain that I have regrets from what I started by ghosting those years ago and would like to try again

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trying to break doom scrolling addiction
i got stuck in it when i only had my phone for months waiting for immigration procedures
its melted my mind i need productive things to read and do in my spare time
deleted all the apps and bookmarks for memes
taking it easy reading books and watching movies trying to get my brain back

>>34908719
D - Demonstrate Value
E - Engage Physically
N - Nurturing Dependence
N - Neglect Emotionally
I - Inspire Hope
S - Separate Entirely.

>>34908740
What im talking about is natural and not manipulative like you describe.

>D - Demonstrate Value
I know my love for my ex. I fucked up like I explained in my other post. I know his love for me (at that time, and hopefully now like how I feel with him)

>E - Engage Physically
When im back with my ex then yeah obviously we will love each other physically as well as emotionally.

>N - Nurturing Dependence
No, thats manipulative and transactional. That is the kind of relationship I should never of started and actual love is the one I had prior to who im with new

>N - Neglect Emotionally
More manipulative like who im with now. I made a mistake and want to erase this time I wish never happened

>I - Inspire Hope
My ex from before this several year misstep doesnt inspire hope, he is hope. He is actually the love of my life

>S - Separate Entirely
I will with the guy im currently with. I just need to text my ex first and make sure he still loves me even after all this time we lost with each other.

you abused me and we're not even together because you never committed to me. this whole situation is a joke. feel free to be upset about losing me however you want but you aren't the victim here

>>34908765
>you abused me and we're not even together because you never committed to me. this whole situation is a joke. feel free to be upset about losing me however you want but you aren't the victim here

Sounds like a manipulative thing the person im breaking up with would say to try to make me misremember who I love and try to make my love react negatively to something he knows is false like he would be arguing with me.

All I did was what you wanted and then when I did what was necessary to get enable that but then you leave and say it is because you pursued what I wanted.

Seeing the guy im engaged with make all the larps mocking who he fears I will leave him for because I actually love my ex really does tell me that I am making the right decision ending the engagement.

my fault for trusting a jew

>>34902815
True
but at least almost all of humanity (besides tech billionaires) has a common enemy
maybe we can break down some of the tribalism in our society if we all focus on the common goal of destroying fucking useless ass generative AI

Why did you call my messages where I poured my worries, narcissistic behavior? Is it because it confronts you about issues I am struggling with that tell you a different story than the one you formed in order to move on?

Yes since I've been ghosting you I've been reading your messages. I show them all to my new bf. I do it not to make fun of you or anything, to be honest when he calls you pathetic or something I genuinely just feel bad for you. I do try to defend you. It makes me feel bad when he makes fun of your looks or calls you a loser. I only do it because the thought of cucking you turns him on and it makes him fuck like crazy right after. You've become part of our sex life which is kind of romantic if you think about it, you're still always with me. Anyway I'm sorry.

>>34909115
Shouldn't you feel bad for yourself, not for someone else? Or is that the only reason you are saying all this? Just because you aren't intelligent enough to understand how the loop comes around to hurt you, doesn't mean that you aren't the one your boyfriend is talking about. Talking about your sex life is extremely low IQ.

The point of loving someone or not is to accept all of their positives and negatives. The reality of the situation for you is something economical when it's supposed to be about your emotions, and how much a person could support another while leaving them at the same time due to those economical premises. I'm not sure you understand the effort it must have taken to support something like you, and how much it dragged another down to you feeling they were a loser.

>>34909143
Nta but you expressed everything I am currently feeling, I hate how economical requirements ruined any chance of love because of doubts in progression when we all try our best often work immensely to fulfill anothers desires where duration without milestones ( but right around the corner) is seen as a detriment instead of simply a timeline experienced together.

Men are way too comfortable wasting a woman's time

>>34909158
Time spent is never wasted

>>34909162
the fuckboy motto lol

>>34909167
Time goes on regardless, date with intention to marry, if things go bad women say its a waste of time instead of reflecting on the experience its okay its biological imperatives

>>34909115
You're just a horny whore at this point. You're disgusting

>>34908894
That's fucked up. He deserved better anyway

well. he killed himself. he actually did it

You're a smelly poop face

>>34909239
Grow up you immature cow.

>>34909246
You're the one who's immature, you no-life-having, gold-digging pedophile

>>34909252
No that's you. You're mentally unstable. No wonder you have bpd

>>34909254
Maybe if you go to a mental institution you'll learn how real people act instead of thinking there's something wrong with everyone except yourself

>>34909261
How about you take your own advice

>>34909264
I don't need it. I don't sperg out when I go somewhere in public. You on the other hand...

>>34909268
You're deflecting. Seriously get some help

>>34909277
I only need help keeping people like you from shooting up a school

>>34909289
That's you. Get help

>>34909291
After you

After you said to not talk to you anymore you are as good as dead to me, memory of you and who I was erased.

It's been so long since I have not been immediately rejected after applying to jobs that I have an interview tomorrow and I am not even excited or anxious for it. Hope it goes well but I am dreading it and am getting red flags from the place

>>34908764
You're mentally twisted. You fit the Dennis system to a T.
I thank the Lord that I am not your current BF.

Lol this girl said she wanted to keep me around in the next sentence after rejecting me. No thanks, I'm good lol

I gave a few brief responses of casual interaction towards derek and tammy yesterday. Iv'e grown exhausted of "shut the fuck up, don't speak to me" and if the Everett police and investigators aren't worried about them being dangerous then I don't feel like worrying about it anymore either. At least currently. Perhaps they aren't the reason why I woke up with my hand all fucked up for a month. Perhaps there's an important reason why they twisted what I said last time the police hauled me away for it to be a blatant lie. Maybe I'm just not supposed to ever know why every lie told to me is for my own good. It's difficult to care anymore.

Really you think I'm going to be some orbiter you got another thing coming. Teasing me THEN telling me you fucked some guy last week. Come on now.

answer me

I kind of just want to get an escort so I can get rid of my v card but I am always stopped because of diseases, illegality, and fear of addiction

>>34909467
I know for a fact some friend will fuck me if I ask but I'm not gonna get an exclusivity deal

I hate being a parent. I feel myself disintegrating more and more every day.

>>34909470
Is that a deal breaker for you? I would be more inclined to accept that (at least initially) but it would be a terrible decision long term.

>>34909560
Well it kinda is, I like her for things than sex

>>34908500
What did you do?!

File: 1780706580228230.jpg (16 KB, 580x548)

16 KB JPG

>she
called me last night. We talked for over an hour. It was quite nice, actually. But she also told me her ex started messaging her and sending her gifts but she doesn't know how she feels about it. She refused to see him when he flew out to see her though. She asked me if I had met or was seeing anyone and I told her I've met new girls but after meeting them all it did was make me realize I had feelings for her. She said "thank you" and I didn't push for any elaboration on that. She told me that she missed me and that she missed me and my female friend more than anyone else she had met in America.

I dunno if it's over or if it's just getting started. I'm terribly smitten by her but there are some serious holdups I have about her (e.g. where I want to live vs where she wants to live, how we both feel about religion is growing different, if she's fixed her problem with alcohol). I think she's emotionally conflicted right now and so I can't force anything, nor do I want to. I told her how I felt about her and presented myself as an option, but I didn't say anything about what she should do about her ex because I don't think that's my place to do so.

We both liked each other. We both learned a lot about ourselves from each other. The timing just wasn’t right for either of us. It hurts because the way we met felt fated, and what I experienced with you is the closest thing to love at first sight that I’ll probably ever feel. But if we both grow from this, it wasn’t a waste. I told you that you were a good person, and that I wish you the best chasing your dreams, and I meant it.

My dad's veteran marker should be coming in a few weeks. I don't like knowing his grave is still unmarked but it is what it is.

How do you talk about family when they're all dead? I'm in my 30s, didn't think I'd be the last one left already. When people ask about them and I'm honest about it I cry and it turns into a pity party so I just pretend everything's fine. But then I feel like a fucking liar. I hate grief. I'm just sad and retarded all the time now.

324 days since I’ve been ghosted and I’m still mad. I really thought she was the one. I really ought to just blow my fucking head off

>>34909789
It gets better. It took me over a year before I got over someone like that, someone I formerly talked to every single day, that ghosted me almost 2 years from now. Give it time. Keep doing you. You will find someone that will make you embarrassed with how much you used to pine for this old person. Godspeed.

>>34909789
As someone who just got ghosted by a girl I thought was the one, you’ve got to remind yourself that if she ghosts (rather that just rejecting you) she’s a cunt and not at all the person you built her up to be in your head. She may have seemed perfect, but the act of ghosting alone means she’s not.

I finally managed to cry for a little while. Over my regrets,.over my stupidity, over the fact that I dragged out talking to someone so much that they found someone else to actually get together with. I should have asked...I just fucked it with the timing. Now they have someone they talk to all the time and stay with them at their house a lot....I leave empty handed. It's not fair on me. I wish them the best but I wish they had just asked me first and I wouldn't be here crying my eyes out because I just couldn't make someone mine. I got my hopes up so much only to get stung real bad. And now I don't know how I can move on. I liked talking to her...I wish I just said more.

I don't feel like a human being. All relationships that I cared about ended up with girls either ghosting me or moving on, I never had a job, making friends on forums, chans, reddit lead me to nothing. Literally, like if I haven't even talked to 1000s of people from all these places. It's always either they're retards or they don't like me enough. My only friend has killed himself a few years ago and neither my parents cared about that nor my "friends" I had back then. Now I'm stuck in my shithole country, probably will get killed by a drone or a ptsd vet, barely have time to leave and the window is getting smaller with each passing year if not month, yet, I have no money at all, no job, and I spent half of of half on skills that are getting devalued in real time. Asking for help was also pointless, no one was able to find me with anything.

It's like if I did everything "right", tried to get ahead, and still ended up worse than most people I know. There's no one I can relate to or who would understand me. I haven't killed myself because there's only one person in the world that I still care a lot about and I'd rather spend the rest of my useless life sending everything I scrap and earn to them, because they were the only person who showed me a bit of sympathy and actually cared about me, who are' still alive

>>34909771
Feeling guilty?

>>34909115
Pretty sure the guy im engaged to and am breaking up with wrote this. He is very insecure becausd his is still in grade school downy there and he saw a pic of my ex's size. None of what he said is true. He's just very insecure and jealous. Im sorry he is so pathetic and even larps as me toward you. He wants what you have, i do too and thats why im leaving him.

>>34909199
The guy im engaged to? He deserves nothing. Here is one of his larps
>>34909115
Dont you see how pathetic and insecure he is to write this like its from me? Its cringe and honestly only further makes me regret leaving my ex and losing years with who i love to this loser

>>34909149
He wasnt going anywhere in life, not because of "economical requirements", hes simply not enough for me. He's lazy and egotistical, pathetic and immature. I regret saying yes and flushing the ring is something i fantasize about daily.

>>34909162
I wasted years on my fiance. Absolutely wasted and major regrets.

>>34909216
I really hope he didnt. I cant live with knowing i made that big of a mistake. I miss him so much it hurts.

>>34909307
>Reads how im escaping my fiance who manipulated me away from who i love with lies.

>thinks me going back to who I love is wrong

I feel like you are my fiance im leaving, no one elsd would have such a shit perspective to think its a bad thing im leaving a lying manipulative asshole