How do I actually stop feeling deep hatred and resentment I have for people who have done me wrong in the past. (aka literally every single person in my life). It's all I can think about. Anything that'll remind me of them will overload me into a meltdown. I've always been like this and it's eating me alive. I despise the cringe "just forgive them bro" motto people will probably suggest because I genuinely don't want to forgive anyone. I just want to stop having it preoccupy my mind.
>>34907516It sounds like you're still psychologically stuck in the relationship with these people. The event happened ages ago, but your mind keeps reopening the case replaying what they did, what you should've said, why they did it, etc.The goal isn't necessarily forgiveness, it's getting to the point where they're just irrelevant to you. You can still think they're cunts without them occupying your head rent-free.You're currently giving them "power" over you by refusing to bury the hatchet and just forget about those losers, you don't have to "forgive" them, just find a way to be over them or you'll be stuck in this limbo.
>>34907526Indeed. Maybe time will numb it out. Definitely wont heal as time has never truly healed any problem for me but it'll fix the problem.
>>34907533Why do you refuse to be the bigger man and just forgive and forget? Time heals all wounds but if you keep the wound open it will never heal.
This sounds less like a hatred issue and more of a rumination issue. OCD or ADD or ADHD or some shit. I have the exact same problem and 10/10 times it was shit that happened years ago that doesn't matter anymore. I pop my anti-anxiety and I can think about something else for fifteen minutes, makes a huge difference.
>>34907547Forgiveness would mean that I can move past what they did and move on. I know myself well to know that I could never move on because I'm extremely sensitive and if someone does something to me when I had opened myself to them, then I can never see them the same way. For most I do not see people worthy of being forgiven as they don't deserve it so in the end I'd be lying to myself if I could say I forgive someone. I'm sure this trait I have has something to do with the resentment I built for my father and his abuse since childhood. Overall it's something I can't control and if it was something I could change/perceive in a different manner then I would but I simply can't.
>>34907579You need therapy, or at least speak to a professional that can help. >I do not see people worthy of being forgivenimplies forgiveness is something the other person has to earn, rather than something you can choose for your own sake, meaning you're still giving these people power over you without realising it.
>>34907601>You need therapyI've been told this a lot. Seriously considering it although the waiting lists are insanely long. >you're still giving these people power over you without realising it.sadly true
>>34907622Get quick therapy online to see if it's a good fit for you. Here's something you can do, set aside a day where you have nothing to do. Sit down and ask yourself questions, why do you think this, why that. Why did something hurt you, how did you deal with it? Self talk is extremely powerful, most people nowadays will never take more than 30 minutes alone with their thoughts, let alone asking themselves hard questions.
>>34907638>set aside a day where you have nothing to do. Sit down and ask yourself questions, why do you think this, why that. Why did something hurt you, how did you deal with it? Self talk is extremely powerful, most people nowadays will never take more than 30 minutes alone with their thoughts, let alone asking themselves hard questions.That's actually something I do all day no exaggeration. That's why it's so mentally draining because I’ll think about all the why's but the conclusions never fixes it. I'll definitely take a look and put in more effort for the therapy however. Thank you anon.
>>34907516get far away from them, and in time you will stop caring or even think about them
