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When we are at the topic of virginity, yeah almost 2 years with me and she's still one... technically. I agreed on the good guy waiting act (which was also aligned with my ideology) but she is now dragging it. She agrees on BJs and shit like that but im pretty sure she is asexual and acts with no particular enthusiasm. I have to initiate everything, zero freak in her. She is obsessed with me but has an odd relationship with sex thanks to those autistic, missing screws in her head. Deathly afraid of PiV because of 1 in 10000000 chance she gets pregnant even with condoms. When I confront her about her being a bore in bed and her unwillingness to act she becomes defensive and tries to convince me she actually fantasizes all the time about me or whatever. Told her I dont give a fuck what she fantasizes about, the only tangible thing is what I see and feel, to which she just apologizes.

She told me she has a present for me in her mind for a bday and is really excited about it but im over here plotting how to get out. Fuck my life. How can I break up with someone after they just gave me a gift? I'm pleading you anons, help me. The sunken cost is messing with my head. I fucking hate that I'm so empathetic, I'm also worried if she will ever gonna find a good man after me that's gonna have patience for her benign shenanigans.

>>34909330
Make it about you instead of her. Say you had something come up with your family and you cant be there for the relationship at this time and that uou just want to be alone.
Youre going to break her heart regardless, so does the method actually make a difference?

>>34909341
I feel like we are too close now and too long with each other to use that method specifically, she knows decent amount about my family and vice versa. But making it about myself... hm maybe that could work. I'll think about it.

>>34909337
If you want to deal with the situation with integrity bring up your problems now.
Write down every problem you have and give examples to each one so you can hear out her response.
Give it a month or so to see if anything changes and then if they dont, use that as evidence on things not correcting and needing to move on.
Are you too afraid to do that because your reasons would sound vain? Im curious.
It sounds like you care, but is your care only extending to not wanting to break her vision of the reality you see?

>>34909349
Whats the alternative at this point? Living with a lie? Deluding her into something that doesnt exist.
Whatever you do should happen before your big gay present or you'll just be even more indebted in guilt.
If you give a shit about her, be straight with her. Itll give her something to work on as harsh as it sounds.
I wrote down my problems in past relationships to be very clear. I gave it a few months to a year to see if they changed and decided accordingly.
Id want the person to change for the better of themselves rather than sell them a lie to delude themselves with. Its awful for both parties.
The reason I give both answers is because a lot of the times OPs dont give a shit about the other and are only trying to save their skin.
The only option that I can say is the worst is continuing the relationship as it is now.
If you trust the person to change, talk it over, give it a month.
If you care but dont trust, get out and be honest
If you dont care and dont trust, make up an excuse and gtfo
Dont wait though. Good luck

>>34909351
>Are you too afraid to do that because your reasons would sound vain?
Yeah you have a good eye. I dont like that I dont have a concrete reason to dip but it's bunch of nuanced things that would be hard to explain in any situation. "What do I tell my parents" and things like that. Yeah sex is shit but I feel like it's also a symptom other than being solely a reason.

>>34909359
>If you care but dont trust, get out and be honest
It's this. As I said I thought things will get more interesting as we get to know each other better but they barely did. I dont give a shit about her part time job gossip or friends gossip when we never discuss anything that is bilateral. We didn't grow up near each other for me to care about what happens over there. I kept suggesting books or shows but it never amounted to anything.

She's also always fucking sleepy and we barely do anything past 10pm whenever we meet up. Fucking annoying.

>>34909361
At moments like these I usually pull out paper or word and stream of consciousness write down everything that bothered me. Its fine even to put it in bullet points.
Then come back to it and edit it down. When I did my last one I brought it down to 4 issues and had 1 or 2 examples to back each issue.
If you do that you'll possibly find a way to bring up your problem without directly saying it. When I wrote mine it was all delicate subject matter I was uncomfortable bringing up in polite conversation.
But if the symptoms or whatever are degrading the relationship you should find some way to allude to it.
As for parents I didnt tell mine why I broke up with people in the past. Do they really need to know this information?
If you really think your gf is going to go full tard and sabotage things by rating you out to mom and dad then maybe you should make an excuse because they really arent worth being with.

>>34909385
>If you really think your gf is going to go full tard and sabotage things by rating you out to mom and dad then maybe you should make an excuse because they really arent worth being with.
its not that, i just dont wanna deal with their questions and sideeyes

>>34909392
Than you just have to learn how not to give a fuck. Don't let their behaviour affect your mental health. When you act like you don't care, they are forced to either stop or confront you. In either scenario you force them to stop their child like behaviour.

>>34909392
I agree with the other anon.
You need to do a wisdom check: is this something you should change or accept you cant and deal with it? Wisdom is knowing the difference.
Ofcourse mom and dad are going to raise eyebrows. They automatically judge your relationships and its beyond your control.
Mine did too. I tried to avoid telling them any key information, but then they come up with their own retarded theories.
Like the other anon, who gives a shit? I dont bother changing my parents and I dont let them change me either.
Family isnt friends or gf. You cant pick them. You just find a weird way of accepting each other's flaws and having a good comfy flawed time.
Just think about breaking up with her the right way and a week from now youll have moved on and have a better set of problems to deal with than this. That you did the right thing and theres nothing else that can be done.
If you fuck this up and stay with her cause she gives you a bday bj or lets you fuck her asshole you will feel way worse and more guilty and be circling this problem for months to years.

>>34909721
>lets you fuck her asshole
I had that at least, but not even that anymore

be straight up with her.
in a completely ideal world, you do not take actions in the external world to regulate of your internal environment(emotions, for instance)

>sunk cost
L

Break up over text and never talk to her again.

>>34909330
>he thinks the grass is greener elsewhere
Should we tell him?

>>34909330
What the fuck are you talking about? If you want to leave her, then leave her. You don't need to give her a reason or an explanation. Just go.

>>34910298
>faggot who's never been in a long term relationship
>>34910239
if the current grass does not feel good under my feet, then maybe no grass is better than this

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do you have a good job?
your physical form in order?

if she's scared to get pregnant you might actually have low SMV

maybe propose and get married?
a boring woman is good, you can have projects and hobbies, and delve deeply into work
if she keeps to herself that's great
and she won't be scared to get pregnant

>>34909337
>4chan tard finds perfect virgin autist gf
>hates her guts for no valid reason at all besides "muh boring"
Stop watching porn and lusting after egirls, you ungrateful fatherless bastard son of a whore. If your fantasy gf loves sex with you then by definition she is a worthless whore who will ride any cock (not just yours, hahaha don't delude yourself, a cock is a cock).

Oh, and if you want to fuck her pussy but she says no too many times, then take her by force - nothing violent, just simple overpowering. Like come on now, do you or do you not have a set of balls? Chances are that is what she wants, to be absolved of responsibility for any pregnancy which may result from intercourse by the choice being taken from her.

>>34910568
only khhv retards like you think being in a relationship with a total bore because you are afraid of being alone so whatever solves you that problem is seen as holy grail. But anyone who isn't equally a cardboard of a person gets bored in relationships like that very quickly.
>>34910572
another khhv opinion. She is insanely sensitive and somehow not a doormat when it comes to that, she would literally break up with me if I put it in, trust me we had some slip ups and she gives me shit all the time

>>34910419
(part 1 of 2)
It's a safe bet I've spent more time in relationships than you have, sparky. Total time with by my current and previous partners is definitely more years than you've been an adult, and possibly more years than you've been alive. And that's not counting a few shorter relationships. So shut the fuck up, and listen to someone with a LOT more experience of both relationships and breakups than you.

Your problem, I guess, is that you think leaving her will break her heart, and you're looking for some magical get-out clause that will let you escape without her getting hurt. There are four things you need to understand about that.

1) What you are looking for DOES NOT EXIST. No matter what you do or day, leaving her WILL break her heart. This is absolutely inevitable.
2) Absolutely anything you do to try to hurt her less will backfire and make things worse.
3) The longer you wait before leaving her, the more damage you will do, and the more of her life you will have wasted.
4) (and this is the most important one) NOT leaving her will also hurt her, and in the long run it will hurt her MORE.

You are an objectionable person who doesn't like her, and is just pretending to like her in order to get his dick sucked occasionally, and who is now starting to feel guilty about that situation. Now, from HER perspective, how happy do you really think she is going to be if she spends the rest of her life with a man who doesn't actually like her? She deserves better than this. She deserves better than you, frankly; but she certainly deserves to be with a man who actually loves her, instead of one who is only pretending to. For HER sake, you need to leave her.
(to be continued)

>>34912626
(part 2 of 2)
Every moment she spends with you is time she could have spent finding someone who actually loves her, and being with him. The longer you wait before leaving, the more of her life you will waste. If you really, genuinely care about minimising her pain in the long term, you need to leave her today, now, and do not leave the slightest hope in her mind that the two of you could possibly ever get back together. If you come up with some bullshit excuse along the lines of "I'm too busy for the relationship", she will say "I don't mind if we take a break until you're less busy; I'll wait for you!" and then you're still preventing her from finding someone better. If you explain there are problems that are her fault she will say "No, no, I can change! I'll do better!" and you'll waste more time waiting for that to happen (and it won't). The gentler you are with her, the more she will be clinging on to the hope that you might get back together. This doesn't mean being gratuitously cruel. But you don't owe her an explanation, and if you try to come up with one, it will make things worse.

Simply tell her "I'm sorry, this isn't working; it hasn't been working for a while; it is never going to work; and there is no point in point in talking about it. I'm leaving." And when she tries to talk about it, don't engage. "Have I done something wrong?!" "No." "Isn't there anything I can do?!" "No." "Is there someone else?" "No, definitely not." Don't engage. Anything else will make things worse.

If anyone else asks you, you just say "It wasn't working, and it was never going to. It's sad, but that's just how it is sometimes." And if they want more details, again, don't engage. That's all you can do.

>>34912626
>just pretending to like her in order to get his dick sucked occasionally
>She deserves better than this. She deserves better than you, frankly; but she certainly deserves to be with a man who actually loves her, instead of one who is only pretending to. For HER sake, you need to leave her.
Wrote all that shit just to assume a bunch of basics wrong. I'm barely getting my dick sucked by her, I stuck around because I thought the sun will come out eventually, she will stop being low energy and lazy, she will start taking up interests, she will get her health and libido fixed etc but that day never came. I didn't break up because I'm a huge wuss and I'm concerned she'll never again find a man to her autistic liking. First few times we met SHE COULDN'T UTTER A WORD. I genuinely told her this isn't gonna work BACK THEN AND THERE but as I said I'm an empathetic bitch and folded for her pleas. That's how autistic, boring and uncharismatic she is, she is genuinely incapable of holding a conversation with someone new in her life. I'm afraid she's just gonna get played harder and harder after me.

But anyways, still I gotta thank you for the effort you put in responding, some of it is actually useful.

>>34912658
>I stuck around because I thought the sun will come out eventually,
You'll know better next time.