So I came back from another country visiting my real father and now I am back at "home" where my stepfather lives and I've been back for two days only and the only time when he talks to me is only to berate or to lecture me about something, and it's been going on like this everyday for the last 14 years of my life. He always calls me lazy, disrespects my heritage (I'm eastern european slav, he's a western european), constantly have to hear him talk about how stupid my mom, calls me a "mama's boy" all the time, complains to me that my mother always takes my side in conflicts. I lashed out at him a month ago. I cannot put into words how much I hate this man, I'm back at his house and I'm depressed af again, I made the error of enrolling into university, but I realised I should have actually searched for a job, to save up a bit, to go back to my home country, but I know if I'll drop out a month into studying he'll throw a fit again.My home country isn't much better doing right now, but I have no idea what I should do.
>>34911595Just do petty but legal shit to get back at him. Hide his stuff. Let the air out of his car tires. Make his life quietly miserable. Being in university is the best thing you can do. Don’t bother learning just focus on making friends and passing classes. Get a degree and use it with your connections to move on with your life and achieve freedom.
>>34911595You should get a part time job to save up a little, ask for a withdrawal from your college classes, lie about still attending while working your job instead, and then move to eastern europe>>34911604Don't escalate your home life, it just increases the tempo of fighting and makes your mom sad
Go to the gym and make yourself look more physically intimidating. Push back against his bullshit. He's just trying to assert dominance. So don't let him and have the ability to back up whatever you put in front of him.
... amd yet you, an adult, are living in his house, and eating his food. Who keeps the lights on at your house? Who is paying your expenses at University? You sound ungrateful. Maybe he is as bad as you say. As you are not his child, and not a child, he can absolutely tell you to get out of his house, can't he? What is your mother saying about this? She must see something in him, right?
>>34912207To be fair he shacked up with a single mom so he deserves no respect.
>>34911595Well, it's good that your mother is on your side. In many of these situations it seems that the mother sides with her new husband over her original child.You are presumably late teens or early twenties. Your capacity to deal with emotions is still developing, but you are actually a lot more capable now than you were when you were younger. As a child it was probably difficult to deal with this man who is close with your mother and maybe a father to half siblings? The unnaturality of this family arrangement confused your emotions, because he was in the role of father but was not your father nor did he try to be nor did you want him to be. But now, if you try, you may be able to reduce your emotional attachment to him. Just practice it when you're around him. Don't suppress, just let go of whatever feelings he elicits within you. Breathe, let them pass through you. Eventually, you can learn to become indifferent to him. It will be more difficult if he is intentionally provoking you, but, still, ultimately the solution to this problem is to stop caring what he does or thinks.The practical complication to this is if he starts to threaten you materially, as in trying to kick you out or force you to take certain actions. There are three solutions to that. The first is to simply gain your own means of material support and find your own place to live. This is difficult but simple. The second is to simply ignore him, you are an adult. But that can escalate the situation especially if he is spiteful. The third is to appeal to your mother, but that can introduce a lot of complications if it's already come to the point where he is threatening you.
>>34911595Catfish him to send you sexually suggestive things then use an anonymous account to send them to your mom.Problem solved. Easy peasy
