I'm 18 and honestly don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do with my life anymore.I've been depressed for years and feel like I threw away basically all of my teenage years. 17 was probably the worst. I absolutely fucking hated my high school, but I was too depressed and mentally fucked up to change anything. I just kept going through the same miserable days. Now it's one of my biggest regrets and I can't stop thinking about how I should've done something differently.This year I took a gap year, but instead of getting my life together I've basically been rotting. I haven't even collected my diploma or enrolled in college. I feel like I'm watching my life pass by while being unable to make myself do anything.I have extremely severe ADHD and OCD. One professional said my ADHD was one of the highest levels they'd seen. I've tried Ritalin, Vyvanse and other meds, but the side effects were so bad none worked out. I've known about my OCD for 3-4 years and still haven't properly treated it. It's like I'm stuck in a loop where I know I need help, but actually doing anything feels impossible.I ghosted half or more of my friends even though I actually liked talking to them. Talking to people and replying to messages became so exhausting that I'd just disappear. I'd feel lonely as fuck while simultaneously being unable to make myself interact with anyone. Some of those people still messaged me a year or two later saying they missed me, and honestly that makes me feel fucking awful. I think about the friendships I lost a lot.So now I'm 18 with no college, no job, friendships I've fucked up, money I've wasted, untreated OCD, ADHD I still struggle to manage, and years of regrets constantly running through my head.I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe advice, maybe someone telling me I'm not completely fucked.I have no idea how to start fixing a life when I feel like I already wasted the part where I was supposed to build it.
>>34913991What was your dosage with vyvanse? And what side effects did you get?
>>34913998I started on the lowest possible dosage found in the pharmacies here, 30mg pills. The side effects were very unusual and unique to me so keep in mind it won't be the case for 99,9% of people, but after the medication digested I got a brief high for ~30 or so minutes, then extreme sleepyness to the point I was yawning uncontrollably, I laid down to try and sleep but at the same time the meds would not let me sleep at all, so in the end the sensation was like I had worked hard labour and exhausted myself the whole day but could not fall asleep if my life depended on it. It was the same thing with ritalin except that with vyvanse I also got an allergic reaction in the end that made my face red, lol.
>>34914008Doesnt sound like vyvanse at all except for it making you unable to sleep. You dont really get a high either.Are you sure you have ADHD?
>>34913991im 19 i would say im doing even worse than you are and im not even diagnosed with anything, at least you still have some friends man idk
> feel like I threw away basically all of my teenage yearsYou will barely remember them by the time you hit thirty. Nothing you did differently in high school will matter by then.>It's like I'm stuck in a loop where I know I need help, but actually doing anything feels impossible.Yeah, mental health shit sucks like that. Unfortunately, there's only one way to get the treatment you need. Prioritize this before any other major life changes.>18 with no college, no jobThis is not an outlier by any means. You are not 40 with no degree and no job, you are 18, probably just survived hell on earth, and need breathing room and mental clarity and health before you can return to normal life.Been exactly where you are Anon. AMA.
>>34913991>when I feel like I already wasted the part where I was supposed to build it.they neurotically divide the ages into 20s, and 30s etcor early and mid and late 20sits better to look at it is four 25 year seasons starting with springyou have until the average age in your country or area which is about 40 or 36>Cause things you call dead haven't yet had the chance to be born - scatman john
>>34914033Pretty sure, unless there is some other mental disease extremely related to ADHD that I have no clue about, as the daily life sypmtoms I've experience during all these years are very similar to ADHD.The side effects I got were really unusual yeah, but at the same time I'm not sure if that would actually disconsider it being ADHD as most "normal" people I've seen who take ritalin, vyvanse and etc recreationally also get completely different effects from those.>>34914178Thanks anon, I just have no idea how to get out of this shithole or if it's even possible to do so. I mean, I know I'll never be able to live a normal, "great" life with all the shit that happened and I have, but at least it could've been less worse than the level it reached...I've considered taking the easy way out many times now but I never actually proceed with it due to a glim of hope, being scared of what happens after, and lazyness in general.Every year I experience the saying "it can always get worse" personally.
>>34913991Your teenage years are fucking worthless state-mandated daycare horseshit. Your 20's are your real best years. You should be using them to gain a profitable skill and work as many hours as physically possible while your body can hold up Once you hit 30-40 the wheels start falling off and you'll wish you'd busted ass during the period of your life when your joints still functioned normally.
