I've been takking to this girl for about 2 months now. She says she's open to dating, but wanted to get some stuff in her life together. We've had decent conversations and she reaffirmed she wanted to go out multiple times. I was upfront about my intentions and she was receptive. A week ago, we left off with a goodbye. I decided to see if she'd reach out, but she hasn't. Ordinarily I'd just cut my losses, but I think I have a chance to salvage this if I indeed fucked it by not keeping up conversation.What should I send? >inb4 just give upNah. >inb4 she probably doesn't care about youProbably. Still gonna shoot the shot.
>>34926962"sup fine shyt hop on dis dick" is going to work 100%
>>34926967You joke, but "fine shi" has actually got me some traction in the past. Thanks for reminding of that card.
>>34926962"How's the getting together before getting together coming together?"
>>34927103It's shit. It's always shit. The beginning of relationships, I think, will always be the hardest, because women are so insufferably flaky in my experience.
>>34926962Just B Urself bruh, don't you want a woman who loves you for who you are? If she's The One she will tolerate your half assed openers ;^)
>>34926962>I've been takking to this girl for about 2 monthsWholesome... so you've built a beautiful friendship. That's awesome!
>>34927129>>34927170Do you guys come to /adv/ just to troll?
>>34927193Troll? I paid $60 to a professional therapist who did a masters abroad to learn >>34927129
>>34926962What's up
>>34927196Can you provide actual advice? I'm asking for a good opener. >>34927202Nothing much. At work. Outside of waiting for my dream job to hit me back on my application and my garden, the potential relationship with this girl is the biggest thing on my plate atm. Given she seems to be disengager, until I get a pretty clear answer, I'm willing to hold out hope. If she denies me, I don't know, back to casting my net I suppose.
>>34927220>>Nothing much. No: What's up is what you say to her.
Receiving short and uninterested response is usually a bad time to ask if she wants to meet. On the other hand, a long or meaningful reply is a clear sign that it's a good idea to suggest meeting up.
>>34927241Oooh, gotcha. That was my plan along with what >>34927252 says. Something >Hey [sg], how ya been? I'm goin bowling this weekend and I want u to come with. U free?She works 6 days a week and for a while didn't have any time for anything but rest. Last we talked, she went out with a friend. This week, I want to take her out. If she says no, well, obviously I'm not on her priority list and I'd take that as a hint to move on. I'd still wanna leave a lead out for her though with>No prob [sg] take it easy/have fun/etc.. Hit me up when ur free.At least then, if I never hear back, I know she knows I left the door open. I'm not expecting success, but I'm fine if things end here. At this point, it feels like she's pointlessly keeping up conversation instead of ending things.
>>34927193I gave you good advice. You're in the friendzone, that's it. >She says she's open to dating, but wanted to get some stuff in her life togetherBullshit!Then you should have said "ok, hit me up when you're up for a date then!". And left it at that.Me? I would have simply stopped talking to her and focused on asking other women out, because I take something like this as a polite rejection.>>34927220>I'm asking for a good openerThere are no magic words bro. You can say whatever the fuck you want. How about "so, about that date, are you free on X at Y? I'll take you to Z, it'll be fun!". If she's interested she'll reply, but my read on the situation is that she's not interested. Good luck though.
>>34927339Though I thank you for this post, your first one was just some trying too hard to be funny bullshit. Stop with all the sarcasm.
>>34927220This board is a cesspool, and that sort of topic is taboo. Good advice for persuasion is unethical, and there is a belief that you gotta do trial and error to find what works, despite the emotional cost of error. Your best chance is to become friends with womanizers and personally ask them what they ask or ask them to be your wingman etc. Otherwise I would tell you to go straight to a woman's face and say "Nice tits bitch! Mind if I test drive them for my children?"
>>34927393There's nothing unethical about getting advice on how to sell yourself or speak to the opposite sex. You can't speak to women you want to date in the same way you do your boys. I'm not intending to lie, I just need to know how to communicate. If someone asked me for advice, I'd tell them>be direct and honest. Just introduce yourself, say she looks good, ask for her number and if you can hangout.That's what's gotten me the most success. Is that unethical? It doesn't come naturally for a lot of guys and I'm one of them. I'll keep a look out for this mythical "womanizer", but given everyone I know is just a dude, most without girlfriends, the others seemingly just lucky, I won't hold out hope.
Well boys, she curved me again. She seemed really happy that I responded. Happy to chat, but yet again, she has no time for me. I'm shelving her. Guess I just need to keep searching. Cest la vie.
>>34928297She has zero interest. In fact if she didn't propose another day/time the very first time you asked then it's game over.
>>34928297You sounded pushy in that second invitation, and she sounded colder too because she noticed you were pushy. I think you should have replied with "wth! meanie" or some playful bullshit just to throw the ball in her court. You were practically begging her to make plans.
>>34928297You are a nigger and she is trying to avoid you raping her.Also chill:you asked too many consequent useless questions>I'm interested I'm interested I'm interestedyou didn't match her tone when she was clearly not engaging with you>please, plese come with meYou both speak like niggers, I guess you are made for each other.
>>34928306>>34928319>pushy Yeah, but when she wasn't goong to push, I had to. If I didn't push, we wouldn't have even gotten to this point. It's fine though, I just wish she would've been straight up and told me "No." early on so I didn't have to wait so long. >>34928709>nigger nigger niggerYou're a nigger.
>>34928806Niggers will remain nogging I guess.
>>34928806>Yeah, but when she wasn't goong to push, I had to. If I didn't push, we wouldn't have even gotten to this point. It's fine though, I just wish she would've been straight up and told me "No." early on so I didn't have to wait so long.The point is that whenever you're in that situation, you should give up earlier. Every woman that does this is low interest. Getting to the point of texting so that you can get rejected later and waste your time is not the goal.
>>34929071I see the idea, but there, in my mind, was still a chance she could come around, even if it was small. It's not like I wasn't looking for other women during the chats in case she didn't pan out. If you give up as soon as you encounter resistance, you'll never get anywhere. Even in failure, I can at least say it wasn't because I didn't try. Do you think I could find a chick if I went to the bowling alley anyway? Maybe invite her for a game?
>>34929078Every time it worked for me she put up zero resistance to the first date and every time it failed it was because I kept trying and humiliated myself with the effort invested.>I see the idea, but there, in my mind, was still a chance she could come around, even if it was small. She will never come around if your only strategy is to ask her repeatedly. Women aren't sexually attracted to getting asked out repeatedly, they are attracted to things like displays of competence and status.
>>34929105I suppose I'll try to treat her coldly if she ever bothers to reach out again. I'll keep this in mind. If she wants to date me, she'll say yes immediately. I tried looking at it from the idea that she has her own life, so maybe her excuses were valid, I mean, it seemed a little "incel like" to think a woman would drop everything she's doing just for some dick, right? I've got my own life and goals, and if it was between a woman and getting my dream job, I'm dropping her like a hot rock. Makes sense right? Apparently I held them in too high regard. I've learned some things and will try to play it a little cooler on the next try. Fewer words, same forwardness, if she's not reciprocating, just leave her hanging instead of hanging on. Thanks, guys. One day, I'll make it.
>>34926962>>34926962she is playing you bro, there is not a magic opener that is going to change it. I would just admit defeat and go to the next broad.It's unbeliveble how mfs will be wracking their brains trying to figure out how to get a girl, when is literally: If the girl likes you she will show it, then you just do basic romatic stuff, sunddely you have a gf. There is no bs such as "wanting to get some stuff in her life together" it just mean she wants somebody else dick but still likes you texting her like a fag
>>34927193No people are autistic due to boomers and gen x teaching their kids fuck all about woman and being simps then covid.Op woman WILL NOT reach out unless you've just met and already talk, she already knows you or your in a relationship. Possibly lost interest, either ask her out, fuck if your trying to do that or move on.If there's any shit grammar its 1.30am here so sorry lol.Op if your reading this
>>34929209I hear you. I'm moving on. She may be the cutest chick I've ever seen, but she had like B cups at best. I don't mind, but if I have a valid reason to upgrade, fuck it, silver lining lol.
>>34929209This is also very correct.If Ops been going back and foward for a while he's probably being used as free attention, precisely why I personally limit woman to about 5 or 6 messages, they aren't committing to meet up within that time, I'm moving on to someone more interested / sane. If I wanted to talk nonsense for hours I'd use a chat bot.
>>34928806>Yeah, but when she wasn't goong to push, I had to. Nigger, her dating you isn't some obligation of hers or a law of the universe. She didn't want to, she had more important things in life than nannying you.Everyone else is right, she wasn't interested, and it's really fucking grim if we leave it at that because in this world of distractions, just who the fuck is interested in anything but their phone, their personal friends, the platter of dicks from social media? But you can't leave it to that, so you STILL have to figure how to get to know her and stand out, and just begging harder will not tell you anything about her. You could have said literally anything else or gave up, and once you gave up you could have pushed her buttons just to see where that takes you.
>>34929400>her dating me isn't an obligationDid I say it was? Shut the fuck up, faggot.
>>34926962Send her something funny that happened in india recently
>>34926962Stop trying to date and just invite her over to have a glass of wine
>>34928297Yeah this shit is a wrap bubba move on but keep her as a friend u never know when a drunk hookup will happen
>>34932456That's the plan. For now, I'm well and truly leaving her alone. If she ever responds, I think I'll just be direct and tell her to cut the bullshit. Either we're going out/I'm coming over to her place or she can stop playing these dumbass games and find attention elsewhere.
>>34928297when you are talking to a woman, always ask yourself "do I want to feed this dynamic?" because the dynamic you feed with her is you are always available and she is scarce. When she txtd "awww", shiet I almost threw up man.I dont preach the alpha bs but I been around the block. Dont be saying shit liek "I petted a lot of dogs" what the fuck.If you cant sense who is man and who is woman from the energy from the texts, you are not projecting yourself properly.You are a man so be manly even if its to the point of parody. The amount of women I hooked with mockingly acting overly alpha is hilarious.Like the amount of men women hook by being "oopsie I dropped my pen in this short skirt woopsie sir can you help me" is hilarious to other women who see through it.As we guys see through guys being all "me and my truck", women see thru other women acting all Stacy in big city all innocent and helpless.But shit works. Because it tingles the amigidala and once it does that the prefrontal cortex is not asked too much but to just hop along with it.Attraction is not rational. Its not persuasion. Its hijacking the ancient brain structures that you will later rationalize why you listened, even if they led you wrong (like with crazy women with crazy eyes who are drowning in dick)I dont wanna put you down, you out there doing shit you will learn if you keep at it, also you tend a garden and love animals, cant fault you dude, keep it sunny side up and find a woman who digs your dog fetish and garden stuff.Remember: no woman is "so perfect" if she doesnt wanna meet with you. Stop obeserving women as something outside of yourself. Observe them in relation to yourself. If the dynamic is wrong, the girl cannot be right. This is also preciselly what narc women do - they present themselves as perfect for you but the dynamis is always fucked and "chase me ahh" BS. Woman who is right for you man, she will be elbow deep in your garden giggling.
>>34929224focusing on her faults is Golden thing bdw.I always been a proud dignified mofo and would refuse to do it to heal up after a crush.But once I started doing it shit became easy. You gotta used tricks to move on and it helps. At least until you learn self respect and dont waste time on flakes. >>34929194You have to know what you know in life and relationships and be willing to "walk away from the deal" if its not as you want it. Literally its strongest hand when you are willing to walk away.Guys self esteem is so low they cannot fathom how healthy relationship looks and feels like. Define your ideal dynamic with a woman and define your ideal woman. BOTH are equally important. IF you jsut focus on what woman is your type, you will meet your type and they will not be into you.You have to define WHAT KIND of dynamic you want with a woman.When both is clear, suddenly you will find out that there is abundance of women you can date and enjoy healthy enjoyable experiences with. Problem I see with dudes is they unironically objectify women (who objectify themselves in order to extract attention and energy from men) and fail to specify the dynamic they want.You need to write a short essay about your ideal woman and your ideal relationship with said ideal woman.The dynamic that is set up at beginning of relationship is the one that continues. If girl is flakey bastard she will be flakey forever with you. When girl is right - things flow effortlessly. All fruits run true to their roots.Do what I said and sin no more son.Then spread the word when it works out, help another dude out.
>>34932537Don't be direct, directness kills it all. It must be hanging in the middle will she won't she that is the essence of desire.
>>34932550>>34932570I'm not good at putting on acts. I've literally never done it. I want things to be straightforward. I hate mind games and I don't think I could play them, especially not with a woman. That's like her trying to beat me in a fight. I just feel so lost. I've got no insight into women's cognitive beyond the negative. I can shut shit down, but I can weazle my way around them to get closer. I probably come off as a sort of brick wall or npc to them. I don't think there are any women that can exist in an open, honest relationship where we don't play mind games. That's what I want. Some guy I talked to about this said he had success "acting like Duke Nukem", I shit you not. As funny as that is, that's just not me. And what about when I seal the deal? Can I drop the facade or do I have to keep it up until she's too emotionally invested to leave?>>34932572I don't know how to do that, bro. I understand allure, but I can't consciously exude it. I've also heard trying to be quiet and aloof just gets you unnoticed. All together now, how do I change the dynamic here? Just make it so she's the one contacting me and I'm the one bullshitting her? Should I stand her up if I get the chance? Cancel last minute and not apologize?
>>34932550>dog fetishKek. I intentionally avoid women with pets because of this. Dog/cat people are so fucking weird.
>>34932550This nigga knows
>>34927193I would never ever ever ever never do that
Is anyone still here? I don't believe this shit. She texted me. I wasn't expecting show time to come so quickly. All my planning feels like it just went out the window. Please advise, brothers.
>>34932550Dunno, man. You sound like a narc yourself which is why you get along with narc women. Not everyone has the privilege of being a natural asshole.
>>34932570Do you realize the dynamic a guy who's been alone all his life is keep doing every shit by himself, but have a girl comfort him, because doing shit on his own is the only dynamic he has ever know and the only dynamic that has worked so far for him to survive?Shit nigger, do you expect a guy to say "I wanna do a manzai duo with some chick"?
>>34938728It's very clear that you are infatuated with this girl and can't move on despite knowing very well that you should.I think you're screwed. She'll keep stringing you along by feeding you crumbles of hope here and there so you are never able to do what you must, which is to cut her off and move on.
