Pretty sure most people here have this problem but lately ive noticed if i absolutely exhaust myself, i will then not think about it all the time. If i get less than 5 hours of sleep, if i work my ass off, if i exercise hard, if i eat little amounts of food so i dont have energy, if i basically put all my biological dashboard lights on empty or flashing i will then not rip myself apart all day in these depressive spirals. The last three days ive barely slept 5 hours, i was exhausted, yet the fact i hadnt been hugged in years and hadnt dated in over a decade didnt bother me. I got a ton of stuff done even though my energy was terrible. This, though, isnt sustainable. Eventually i crashed, slept 10 hours and woke up immediately pissed at the world and at women. I dont need a girlfriend, i dont need love, i need to get my shit together and i need a level mental state to decide what i actually want. Which probably isnt a modern woman. For various reasons. I dont want advice on how to get a girlfriend either, i dont need one right now at all. I just want to know how to live a healthy life, where im not exhausting and starving myself, when i dont have physical anything. Because for some reason my brain hates it, a lot. Like it ruins everything that should be enjoyable in life and just sucks the joy right out of it and i just go on these mental rants every day if i dont basically ruin myself. Even right now, its like 2am, and the reason why im not in bed earlier is because i wouldnt be exhausted when i go to sleep and thus would spend hours beating myself up over past failures and dating dynamics and all this other completely irrelevant bullshit. This isnt a good way to live and im tired of it.
You need to slow down and think, look inward, about what it is you're missing in your life and why lacking it is leading to frustration You seem to have good insight though, this happens to many people and they wrongly assume that getting a relationship will complete them but you've already seen through that trap. Now you just need to find the real answer.
>>34958147Been trying to do this for years now. It makes no logical sense why i am so obsessed with this. I am an avoidant, i dont want a relationship, every time ive tried dating its ended extremely poorly. If you had a magic wand and told me i could make any woman fall in love with me i would struggle to think of a single person to use it on, and if you asked me to write a list of who i would want in a relationship, i would also struggle majorly with that too. I just dont feel normal. I dont feel like i am successful in life and furthermore i do like the feeling of being hugged and cuddling especially when life gets stressful. That like warm tingling feeling, the calm that comes after, is extremely addictive and hard to resist. Ive gotten close to feeling it through meditation but its hard to do that sometimes because it takes so long to do, like hours of meditating, and im essentially doing the same thing i do above, where i am mentally disconnecting from the world just to, for a moment, stop thinking about the fact i have no one in my life and the regrets i have from not having anyone in my life. Its also weird because im not technically an incel. Ive had girl be interested in me, granted i got cheated on and had to accept shit deals with it, but i still got some attention and made several of them horny. I dont need this to prove to myself anything, yet i feel like when i live without it, its like living without shelter. Possible but very rough. It also makes life feel like it has literally no meaning when theres no one to live it with, or build further with it. And i know its because im weird and fucked up and thats literally the entire problem. The only person or thing thats stopping a woman from being in my bed tonight is myself and my lack of confidence, self hate and neuroses. I have more going for me than most guys yet i have less of chance than most.
This is something that's gonna require professional help isn't it
>>34956566Just masturbate more.
>>34960841Makes me feel even worse and lonely a
