I've been dating this girl for just under 2 months. She's a nice girl, but her work schedule leaves her very unavailable. It's only possible to see her during weekends. If something comes up during the weekend, then I don't see her all week.I have now not seen her in 3 weeks due to her schedule. We talk kind of a lot on the phone, but that just doesn't do it for me. She wanted to talk every night, but I told her that was too much. She also wants me to wait several months before anything sexual.At this point I'm losing my patience. I need something. I'm considering seeing an escort. Not even for sex, just for SM stuff like facesitting/foot stuff... I'm an autist with a lot of kinks, but I have needs that aren't being met.We've been on 3 dates so far.So would this be cheating or is it more of a gray area?
Have you had a conversation about being exclusive? Have you or her officially declared her to be your girlfriend, or that you're in a relationship together? Has she implied or intimated that she feels like you're "together" short of defining the relationship?If the answer to any of those is yes, then it would be considered cheating (I personally feel the last one is a gray area but she wouldn't). If the answers are all no, it's not cheating. There would be no relationship there to violate. Most people sort of expect that until a relationship is defined, then there's no expectation to be exclusive. HOWEVER, you should never tell her you're seeing other people and you DEFINITELY should not tell her you went to an escort. In casual dating there exists a double standard where both parties know that they don't have any claim on the other person, but they also never want to be confronted by what the other person might be doing. That goes double, triple even, for seeing escorts or going to rub and tugs, etc. Women will get way more upset about that than if they find out you went on other dates even if one or more dates ended in something sexual.To me it sounds like there are a few options to explain the "talking every day but no sex for months" thing. 1. She's using you as an emotional dumping ground2. She's been badly hurt before and is very reluctant to give you physical access because she associates it with a bad relationship or getting pumped and dumped3. She's very sheltered and naive, high possibility of being a virgin Only you know the full context but if it's either of the latter two then you going extracurricular would be a very bad idea if you want to stay with her. But it sounds like you're getting very invested in a situation where you're at a massive disadvantage and giving way more than you're getting.
>>34956611Seeing each other only at weekends helps to not get too clingy and attached too fast and to not be too available so she knows you have a life, which you should have anyway. Not seeing each other in 3 weeks means she is actively avoiding you. No one is that busy, what the fuck is even her job? Developing super secret weapons at an underground military facility?Not even presidents are so busy that they cannot make time for their wives or whoever they want in 3 weeks. In your text you didn't say she lives in a different city so I assume you live within one hour of driving distance of each other at most. So 3 weeks without meeting in a relationship that just began is even more bizarre.Her wanting to talk over the phone every other day or once in a few is expected. I think it's fine to do it sometimes but it's better to err on the side of doing it too little than too much. And yeah it sucks because she's getting feminine validation (attention) from you, but you're not getting masculine validation (sex) from her.Now, the most important thing here is:>She also wants me to wait several months before anything sexual.This is a massive RED FLAG and an immediate break up from any self-respecting man.This is not acceptable even if she's virgin, let alone if she's not. A woman wanting to make you wait for sex is NEVER worth it. It means she's not attracted to you, you were not her first option or her priority, she sees this relationship as settling and most importantly, means she is the type that is more than willing to weaponize sex and intimacy to manipulate and control a man by withholding it from him.I don't even consider this a relationship. It's been 2 months, the "relationship" has barely began, it's in the honeymoon phase when you were supposed to be fucking like rabbits and you have already gone 3 weeks without seeing each other and she is putting up barriers to sex like making you wait. It's time for you to walk away.
>>34956611>So would this be cheating or is it more of a gray area?You're asking if, while you have a girlfriend, fucking a woman who is not your girlfriend is cheating? Yes, anon, it's cheating.
>>34956784They've been on 3 dates in 2 months, she's been avoiding seeing him for almost half the time, and OP never used the words "girlfriend" or "relationship" in his post. I don't think it's cheating.
>>34956729Never had an exclusivity talk per se, just clarified that we're not dating other people. Her wanting to talk on the phone constantly makes me think she does see it that way though. It does feel like I'm not getting anything in return, that's kind of the core of the frustration.>>34956744Thanks anon you made me lol. She works at something like a cram school and doesn't get home until like 11pm most weekdays. I would probably think it's not a proper relationship either if it wasn't for the constant phone calls. Last girl I dated fucked on the third date, and she wasn't even promiscuous. No long phone calls either.>>34956784It's not fucking tho, it's SM. Roughly the normalfag equivalent of getting lapdance or something.
The fact that she wants to talk on the phone constantly means she thinks you're her boyfriend and would be pissed if you spent the night with an escort. Just dump her and fuck the escort to save yourself the hassle
>>34956820>The fact that she wants to talk on the phone constantly means she thinks you're her boyfriendIt means she thinks he's her emotional tampon.
>>34956784That would be relevant if OP had a girlfriend, but he very obviously doesn't.
>>34956820>means she thinks you're her boyfriendLol no it doesn't, you underaged virgin.
>>34956611Anon. This girl is a total slave to her job, you shouldn't have any respect for her. Like she can't make any time for you? Fuck this bitch, this is total bullshit. She is married to her job, people like her can go fuck themselves. A job should never take over a person's life like this, it's fucking sad and pathetic. She isn't a human being, she is a corporate slave. Do as you wish, fuck a million hookers. You owe her nothing.
>>34956807>>34957119Then he should make it clear to the woman in question that they are no longer together BEFORE getting with anyone else.>>34956818>It's not fucking tho, it's SM. Roughly the normalfag equivalent of getting lapdance or something.Oh, please. To someone who is seriously into BDSM, it is more intense, more arousing, and more intimate than regular sex.
>>34957302>that they are no longer togetherThey were never together in the first place though, so your suggestion is retarded.
>>34956611Fuck you.I've gone my entire life with nothing.You're going to cheat on a new relationship because you're a horny pervert?Fuck you.
>>34956611men actually wait for women to have sex with them????? on what planetI've been blood raped on my period so many times. no man could ever wait for me, not even my father. my father raped me when I was five and my grandfather molested me.
>>34956611Cheating or not, it's scummy and exceedingly degenerate, and no, you don't "need" sex.
>>34956611>Can't talk enough to her>Talking every night is too muchWhich one do you want you fucking fag? Why not try to be less selfish in your life?
